Zelena drops in on dear sister Regina so they can snark
at each other. Regina is much better at it. Cora does make points about Regina
never appreciating what she has or taking a chance for happiness but Regina
dispenses with the verbal fencing and just cuts to the bone. But she’s there to
check on Regina because if Regina is there, she isn’t defending her heart from
Rumple
And Rumple is facing off against Robin Hood. All the
power of the Dark One vs… a crossbow.
Place your bets now! Rumple really doesn’t want to hurt them, but he has
little choice. With Robin’s son threatened and Rumple just controlling all the
merry men with a gesture, Robin gives up the heart. Regina arrives but doesn’t
blame anyone – she’s just happy no-one was hurt, especially the child. But she’s
worried too – because Zelena must be planning something with her heart if she
isn’t just going to crush it.
She goes to Rumple’s store to try and find something to
help (and don’t worry, Zelena can’t control Regina with her heart because she
already protected it from that. Obviously – you silly people. Did I mention
Regina is awesome?) Belle is not willing to help and gives a laundry list of
the many many things Regina did to her (it’s actually an impressive list. Belle
has more reasons to hate Regina than just about anyone) but while Regina is
truly and genuinely sorry, she has no time for a guilt spiral – she needs to
take out Zelena, green witch, controlling Belle’s super-powerful boyfriend, so
bury your issues, gets some priorities in order and get on board team Regina.
Because Regina is awesome.
Still the question is what spell does Zelena intend to cast – and what’s so special about Regina’s heart rather than anyone else’s? Answer – use the candle that Mary Margaret used to kill Cora. It’s magic is spent but this is apparently to find out how Cora lived.
Why that sounds like a cue for a flashback!
Cora, working as a barmaid, finishing her shift and being
invited to sit down and be flattered by a prince who has been slumming and
staring wistfully at her. He’s Prince Jonathon, exposed by his embroidered handkerchief
(because being undercover doesn’t mean he wants to be THAT undercover) who
wants a woman to love him for who he is (a man with a very upper class accent
clueing everyone in that he’s rich and important so don’t get too common.
Sorry, I always find these prince and the pauper themes snark worthy, like the
peasantry doesn’t notice a noble slumming). He wants to marry her and will
totally back with a real ring but until then here’s some straw (guy can carry
fancy snot-rags but not jewels? Watch yourself Cora, doesn’t take a genius to
stitch a fancy pattern on an M&S hanky). Cora decides to go to his room.
To the present and Emma warning Hook not to eat apples in
Regina’s house. While other people may be focused on fighting the wicked witch,
David and Mary Margaret are talking baby names. And being soggy. Anyway, Regina
arrives with poison tea for summoning the dark forces (what else would you
serve?) The plan is to summon Cora to learn more about Zelena’s past. Oh dear
you reminded Mary Margaret about killing Cora – someone get her a pillow, she
will now Take To Her Bed. Especially since for this spell to even work you need
the murder weapon and the murderer (Mary Margaret’s gasp of horror. Oh fetch a
futon someone!) Actually I think the real reason why the spell is rarely used
is because you have to light the murder weapon at both ends and
candle-committed homicides are rare.
The portal opens –but Cora doesn’t come through, she
apparently doesn’t want to talk to Regina. Ouch. A flashback gives us a hint as
to why – Prince Jonathon is actually lying gardener Jonathon who calls her a
harlot because he lied to get in her bed. He doesn’t care she’s pregnant and
runs off. Leaving her desolate and alone – except for Actual Prince Leopold
(that would be Snow White’s father), who helps her up.
In the present everyone leaves except Mary Margaret who
stays to inflict more sogginess on Regina. And the front door disappears which
is rather unusual.
More flashbacks and Leopold likes Cora but has a dilemma – when she’s cold he can’t build a fire. This troubles him because he wants to be a good King whose a man of the people but he can’t even do a basic task any commoner in his kingdom does daily. She shows him how and they bond and he reveals his plans to marry a Princess Eva (oooh not bitter at all, there Cora) but he’s not thrilled because it’s not his choice, he hasn’t even met her.
Anyway, Mary Margaret apologises for killing Cora and Regina takes a deep, very patient breath and acknowledges that Cora herself killed Mary Margaret’s mother so the whole thing is… complicated. Regina is also torn after learning that these was such a massive secret Zelena kept from her – a sister! When they hear a noise, they go upstairs to the source and find… Cora, a young ghostly Cora, spinning away at a spinning wheel.
Unfortunately ghostly Cora is more interested in killing
her murderer than answering questions. Regina steps up to Mary Margaret’s
defence, magic blazing – but she can’t hold the ghost forever
This calls for a flashback. And now Cora (betrothed to
Leopold) admires her jewellery when gardener John drops in. He blackmails her,
threatening to reveal their baby if she doesn’t pay him off. Unfortunately for
Cora, all of this was overheard by Princess Eva.
The flashback continues after the ghostly Cora possesses
Mary Margaret, revealing Cora’s exposure when she tried to pay off gardener
John. She lies to him and he says he doesn’t care so long as he can trust her.
Eva arrives to expose Cora’s lies, Cora tries to bullshit, but checking her
pockets (wow, this princess gown has pockets!) and finds the gems she was going
to use to pay off John. Leopold and Eva leave with Eva assuring Leopold he will
find a wife “as pure as snow”
At Granny’s, Emma is playing with her magic while Hook is mopey – doubly so when she teleports away his Hook. Emma tries to poke out why Hook is angsty – but Belle barges in with news, her research has paid off, she knows Zelena’s plan.
Zelena, meanwhile, torments Rumple. Something I’m fairly
sure she will come to regret. Anyway she makes him dress up for dinner (meat
pie, just like she tried to bake to win him over before, the food the women who
raised him cooked). Zelena repeats her plan to change the past and, of course,
doing that she can bring back Rumple’s son; but Rumple reminds us all that time
travel is against the fundamental laws of magic. But she’s sure she can break
it, go back and get the life she’s always wanted and take Rumple with her to
get his son back.
Meet up, Regina banishes Cora as everyone else arrives
and Mary Margaret gasps that it wasn’t an attack, Cora was trying to
communicate (fine print for the spell is needed, clearly). But Mary Margaret is
too zonked to tell them anything – Belle does tell them about the time travel
plan, though. Mary Margaret wakes up – her mother told Cora’s secret that
ruined her life, in the same way Snow White told Regina’s secrets that spoiled
her life. The revelation forced Cora to give up Zelena and stopped Zelena being
a princess. So Zelena is going back in time to kill Princess Eva (Mary Margaret’s
Mother) to ensure the secret is kept and Zelena is raised as Leopold’s
daughter.
Couldn’t she go back in time and kill, say, John? After
conception so she doesn’t die – but before the blackmail?
Regina follows the logic (because Emma briefly thinks
Regina will like this plan) and points out that Snow White won’t have been born
therefore nor will Emma, therefore nor will Henry. So that’s a no for Regina
(there’s also a chance Regina won’t be born as well, though that’s less certain
– but Cora won’t end up marrying Prince
Henry, Regina’s father). David realises that time travel needs their
super-duper-awesome-baby because it’s so special and shiny.
Flashback to Cora giving birth then giving up her baby –
because it’s her only chance of being more than a Miller’s daughter; where she’s
grabbed by the strange green tornado (now what caused that?)
And back at Zelena’s hut, Rumple is playing nice with
Zelena, apologising for wronging her. And seduces her – well, to try and reach
for his dagger she has secreted about her person. Alas, it doesn’t work – nice try
though. He’s not bribed by his son – because his son gave his life to stop
Zelena. To honour his son’s death, he has to kill Zelena.
Mary Margaret and Regina have another bonding moment “you
have a less damaging relationship with my mother than I do – and you killed
her.” Regina always has the best lines. They bond over Mary Margaret learning
nasty things about her mother and the many times Regina’s tried to kill Mary
Margaret. Hey it’s bonding at least. And Mary Margaret throws lots of hope all
round to counter Regina’s despair with lots of affirmations about feeling
things and being resilient (which Regina certainly is)
And Regina goes to see Robin Hood. And she kisses him.
Aaargh, what happened to Cora’s acting?! She killed it in Miller’s Daughter and now we get this? Was she drunk filming this? Did she hate the fact that this incredibly strong, determined, ambitious woman was apparently brought low by a man threatening to slut-shame her and decided to throw out only a half-assed performance at the episode in retaliation?
Among with the icky shaming of Cora, we have more of a
revelation of why Cora focused on Leopold and why she killed Snow White’s
mother. I’m not happy how it played out – sure John was presented as wrong for
the way he treated Cora. And Eva was treated as wrong for revealing Cora’s
secret. But what about Leopold rejecting a woman he apparently/supposedly loved
because she had the temerity not to be a virgin? To be pregnant? Revealing the
secret and the blackmail would have both been irrelevant if they didn’t rest on
an already sexist premise. And if that sexist premise has to exist in fairy tale
world (and don’t anyone buzz in with “that’s how it was back then” because if
you can accept fairies and dwarfs exist and there is apparently an entire
kingdom of people who think Snow White and Prince Charming actually will make
good rulers then you can accept a world where non-virginal women are not poison
for marriage) someone needs to speak up – Emma, Mary Margaret, Regina, anyone –
and say what bullshit it is rather than focus on evil Eva and her spilling
secrets, that heifer.
Why is Eva the villain of this piece?
