Last episode of the season – and very appropriately named
at that (I was chanting it before I even started watching).
So we have lots of people missing dead and dying and the
dying Pauline pulls out a vision to tell Julia that the Dome did choose her
(aaargh) and there’s a man who is chosen as well who doesn’t know who he is yet
(shall we guess?). She is quickly moved to the school so Sam can work on her
stab wound. Sam, Junior and Jim take her. Norrie, Hunter and Jo go to check if
the wifi signal is up since the Dome shrinking and big craters opening may have
helped make a hole and Julia and Barbie run to help some random guy in a barn
who got on the wrong side of some falling farm machinery.
They try to save him to which the Dome declares “hell no,
this person is DEAD!” and throws in some electricity as well. Be told humans,
the Dome is killing that man (no doubt Julia will forget this in 10 seconds
when she decides the holy Dome needs praising).
Pauline is taken to the school but Sam quickly points out
there’s little he can do – while he and Jim look for help, Junior and Pauline
have a good bye moment; all Pauline cares about is Junior (it’s the Dome’s
will! Yes she works it in there). Also Pauline wants Rebecca to euthanise her
because Jim “won’t let her go.” Since you’re dying of internal bleeding
Pauline, I think what Jim will allow or not is beside the point
Having found no signal, Norrie briefly considers spending
some time with her mother (that would be Carolyn for everyone who has
completely forgotten about her since she’s so utterly absent) and maybe this whole
idea that the Dome is on their side is so ridiculous it doesn’t even deserve to
be laughed at. Alas, Jo treats her like she’s being hysterical rather than the
only person on this show actually speaking sense. Instead they decide to investigate
the huge sink hole Melanie was sucked down. Sense doesn’t last long around
these parts. They find purple lights and butterflies so decide they may have a
way out of the shrinking Dome and hurry back to Barbie (bravely jumping over
the Chasm of-you-have-to-stretch-a-bit).
Barbie decides the spelunking butterly and
glowing-hopefully-not-radioactive-rocks are their greatest chance to escape.
Time to gather the town and head down into the great unknown and Jo finds
Norrie crying – grieving for the mother she will leave behind (Jo actually
suggested she join her still living mother which would have given Carolyn some
screen time – so it’s belated grieving instead). She reflects on what she now
sees are ridiculous reasons why she was being taken to a secure school in the
first place, how her priorities have changed and Jo drops in with “the Dome
Wills It!” Norrie continues to not give a damn about the Dome’s will. She’s the
last person in Chester’s Mill who hasn’t succumbed to the Dome cult. Which is a
shame because otherwise this scene is an excellently well presented scene of
some dramatic and very belated grief.
Pauline doesn’t even want to try to live because DOME
WILLS IT. Rebecca loads her up with happy drugs before Sam and Jim return with
saline and she dies in Jim’s arms. And Jim notices the drugs in Rebecca’s hand.
Rebecca explains it was the Dome’s Will. (Alas, Rebecca has fallen to the Dome
cult). Jim isn’t a fan of the Dome’s will when it doesn’t will what he wants it
to will. He knocks Sam unconscious and attacks Rebecca with a hammer, killing
her.
Seriously Under the Dome?
Seriously Under the Dome?
Sam is alive to explain everything to Junior. And Jim
goes on the rampage because the Dome won’t resurrect Pauline.
The rest of the gang get on the bus to leave and we see
Carolyn (get back in your plot box, Carolyn, it’s safe there!) – who has to virtually
beg Norrie to come with her (Barbie steps in and Norrie listens). Once they
reach the tunnel, Barbie begins leading the evacuation while Julia, in the
surface, gets a call for help form Andrea the hoarder
Being Julia, she investigates this alone. Of course she
does. Julia becomes Jim’s prisoner and Jim murders Andrea. Julia makes a run
for it, getting slammed into furniture and Jim gets a knife in the foot
(because, of course, being a villain he doesn’t kill his enemies quickly).
She runs and finds Sam and Junior in the woods – Sam helps
Julia to safety (her leg wound is set to “painful” today – how severe it is
changes depending on the plot demands) while Junior confronts his dad with a gun.
When Jim advances, Junior shoots him in the shoulder. Then leaves him with the
non-lethal wound and runs off. Of course.
To the escape tunnel – and, of course, the teeny-tiny
chasm gets wider and scarier (and Julia’s leg has now been set to “near
amputated” for plot reasons) which traps Julia. Babrie wants to come back and
help Julia, but she’s sure that Barbie is the second chosen one and needs to
lead the people to safety (oh, for the love of spiky things and flame throwers,
was there ever, in any way, even slightly a chance that the Male Monarch would
NOT be Barbie? Seriously?). Junior is
also trapped on the other side of the chasm – so is Jim. If all three of them
die in the Dome collapse I will not be sad.
Barbie goes to lead his people home – and oh gods I wish
this show was more subtle than that, but no, after some glowing butterflies they
reach a cave in – which is opened by the touch of his blessed hand (no, really)
and Melanie appears surrounded by white light to declare they can follow her
home.
There is not enough snark in the world.
And so concludes the second season of Under the Dome. It is over, it ends, the
suffering finally ends. This show is a hot mess in so many ways, so take a deep
breath while I take deep and immeasurable pleasure in ranting about each and every
one of them. And, oh yes, this moment is all that has kept me going through 13
episodes of this mind bogglingly awful show.
Firstly, story and world wise we know nothing. Not one
damn thing. The Dome, the Egg, the 4/7/8/7/9678.56 hands, reincarnating
Melanie, butterflies, random tunnels, Zenith, the role of Acteon Energy, what
Hunter’s group is actually doing and why, Pauline’s visions, Melanie and Barbie
being related; nothing has been explained. Not one damn thing. There’s been
zero attempt at it – crap just happens and I think the writers are just making
it up now. Admit it, it’s a drunken game of mad-libs! There can be no coherent
plot behind this mess.
Which leads to the random events. Beyond a “meta” plot
which is picked at random from a hat, translated into Serbo-Croatian and back
to English 11 times through Babblefish then presented as a script, we then have
randomness just to fill up more time. Shrinking Dome, Spinning Dome, Dusty
Dome, Magnetic Dome, Noisy dome, Acid Blood Dome – Random Domeyness filled far
too much time and achieved nothing, some extras died, no-one cared the group
didn’t adapt, change or learn.
Which leads to the next problem – the plot is awful but
it is a positive stellar compared to the steaming elephant turds (we’ve gone
way beyond bullshit here) that counts as characterisation on this show. These
characters make no sense and I loathe all of them. Every last one. The Dome
shrinking them into something resembling smooth pate would be the ultimate
happy ending on this show. The Dome has been in place for 2-4 weeks and in both
seasons people have lost their ever loving mind. Jim became a villain of almost
cartoonish proportions. Phil became… I actually have no idea what Phill became,
a salivating Jim fanpoodling terrorist who didn’t even come close to making
sense. Lyle went off on religious mania with added stalking and murdering,
while Julia went off on hippie religious mania. Rebecca decided genocide and artificially
creating plagues was a great idea, Sam got into the murdering fun, Junior
yo-yos his personality so fast he must have psychic whiplash oh and Julia and
her husband’s murderer play house before dead hubby’s body is even cold.
And this is nothing compared to how everyone treats each
other. Does anyone remember Sam killed Angie? Anyone at all? Because everyone
seems to get past that awful quickly. And Rebecca’s fun genocide – anyone care?
No? Bygones? Junior’s kidnapping of Angie is so brushed over by the show that
even the audience is expected to get behind him and Melanie’s romance. And Jim’s…
well Jim’s everything? Seriously why wasn’t this man locked in a cage and
regularly smacked about the head and shoulders with a large haddock? When you
consider Jim and Rebecca running free, locking Phil up looks all kinds of
skeevy. What do you actually have to do on Under
the Dome other than be Black to be considered a threat? I expect next
season to begin with everyone baking Jim a cake (made by Laura, the Black woman
who appeared after Rebecca died) for being such a good friend.
Then there’s the Dome worship. Words cannot encompass how
much I loathed this. EVERYONE fell for it by the end, even Rebecca (which has
that oh-so-not-wonderful tone of yet another faith vs science debate in fiction
where faith was proven right and science so silly and closed minded – AAAAARGH)
was talking about the Dome’s will. This Dome has been tormenting you all and
killing random people. Not once, not one single time, has it performed one
benevolent act. Even if the Dome were directing things, why would anyone assume
a positive motive? Why would anyone be eager to obey? How come the only one who
considers REBELLING against the Dome is evil Jim? What is wrong with these
people?!
I understand nothing about them. Not how they act, not
what they believe, not how they are treated. It makes no sense. None.
Now let’s hit the marginalised people because there’s
more shit to add to this midden. Phill, Dodee, Alice, Linda, Rebecca, Pauline,
Angie and Andrea. Women, POC, Lesbian; they all belong to one or more
marginalised groups and they’re all dead. And it’s not like they were
over-represented on the show to begin with – not just in terms of numbers but
in terms of screen time and activity. Barbie, Julia, Jim, Junior, Sam, Norrie,
Joe and Melanie have all dominated the show (and take “white saviour” to quite
literal levels): only Rebecca comes close to matching them and she was a
constant sidekick.
None of these characters were developed. Dodee and Alice
died as a plot device with no real stories of their own. Phil was a characterisation
mess, a lackey and a disaster. Linda was killed off in one of the most dismissive,
hand-waving manners I’ve seen (though Tara in True Blood still takes the prize for dismissive death) and almost
instantly was replaced with Rebecca in a classic T-Dog chain. If that weren’t
nauseating enough, Melanie steps straight into Angie’s shoes, complete with
being the special hand and forging a relationship with Junior (only now we’re
all forgetting the kidnapping thing). Carolyn has survived, but that’s all she’s
done. She’s survived by being nearly completely absent all season – she’s
certainly not been involved in her daughter’s life (or bereavement). She exists in the credits and little else.
I try to be fair in a review and mention at least some
positive. But I also insist on being honest in reviews - so I have no praise at all. I cannot say anything good about this show without lying
