Flashback to Camelot (‘tis a silly place) and
brainstorming how to de-tree Merlin. Regina’s stll playing Saviour while
everyone is warning Emma against using magic. They decide that one solution may
be to find a magic toadstool to allow them to communicate with the tree-Merlin.
So David and Arthur are out on a quest
They arm up and we have some nice exposition about the
Round Table and how everyone gets a normal seat even the king because the whole
point of the Round Table is that no-one is at its head, all are equal. Except
for one special seat for special pure knights – Lancelot
who is, alas, dead which is the news they have to pass on to Arthur who is
super sad despite the whole betrayal thing.
Along the way of the quest David gently pokes Arthur for
being a bit of an arse to his squire especially since they both come from
humble beginnings (seriously, Arthur as well? I think the writers have
misunderstood how nobility and royal lineages work). I do like the nice poking
at Arthur’s arrogant competitiveness.
They finally find their magic mushrooms and Charming is
nearly defeated by a bridge. And the Green Knight I guess. He nearly drowns,
alas Arthur saves him. Damn it Arthur. And they lost the toadstool. YOU HAD ONE
JOB David. Arthur tries to make them feel better about their utter waste of
time.
Which causes some musing about their legacies – David would
rather not be remembered as the guy who kissed a sleeping woman so she couldn’t
slap him and Arthur would rather not be known as the king who inherited his
throne because of the ability to remove sharp things from masonry.
Regina does take a chance to tell Zelena who she totally
isn’t the victim and how Regina can totally make her life hell if she wishes.
The conflict is she doesn’t want Zelena to run off with Robin’s baby and also reminding
us both that Zelena is still around and Regina can still be scary when
necessary.
Anyway, Arthur decides to knight David as Sir David of
the Enchanted Forest (ok it wasn’t unheard of for a monarch to own titles in
other monarch’s court but this is a whole lot of vassal swearing here for a visiting
monarch. And “Sir David of the Enhanted Forest” uh, Arthur he’s already Prince
Consort of the Enchanted Forest – a land you don’t rule or have the rights to
grant titles to. Mary Margaret should be slapping you for this and him. This
would be like Liz knighting Sir Felipe of Spain). Anyway, he’s now the Knight
of the Round Table for failing at a quest
Worst Knight ever. He even gets Lancelot’s fancy chair
and ye gods has anyone deserved it less!
The good news is that Lancelot is alive and Mary Margaret
sees him! Yay, Lancelot! There is a pretender in your seat – please stab him
with stabby things until he stops twitching! He warns Mary Margaret that Arthur
is a total villain and, alas, does not stab David
This is backed up by Arthur revealing to Guinevere that
he stole the toadstool and hid it from David. He is super guilty about it
(unlike David who is totally not guilty about SACRIFICNG A BABY!)
Dark One Emma steals Happy’s axe (yes the dwarf Happy).
This is probably a bad thing.
In modern day Storybrooke, Regina has some of the books
they had in Camelot, including the toadstool book with her notes attached. The
dwarfs go to complain to David and Mary Margaret with Leeroy/Grumpy angrily
expecting them to act as Sherriff and not just Emma’s parents. Parental angst
from the Charmings who lament at how useless they are. Really it’s taken David
five seasons to realise he’s useless? I came to that conclusion about season
two.
Arthur also reports that more of his magical items have
been broken into and something has been stolen from him along with Excalibur –
this time one of the magic
realm-crossing beans. Since the lock was forced they’re pretty sure it isn’t
Emma’s doing since why would she force a lock?
They go to check Belle’s pawn shop where she’s trying to
heal Gold who isn’t doing so well. They do find the bean thief by means of a
cup, a lie, jousting with a truck and Arthur magically learning how to drive.
It’s the squire who is all bitter about the terrible way he was treated by
Arthur – but he didn’t steal the magic bean.
But they do find the magic toadstool – but they only have
vague memories of it. They take it to Regina who remembers it from the book and
that they tried to talk to Merlin with it. Mary Margaret heroicly gazes at
David for saving them by stumbling across a random fungus. Her look is so
dewey-eyed and sappy it makes me throw up in my mouth a little. David’s smug
face is the worst thing ever.
The squire is thrown in prison and is all confused
because he was just following evil Arthur’s evil orders – and there never was a
magic bean at all. It’s all a ploy for Arthur to ingratiate himself with the
Charmings because he totally doesn’t trust them since they lied about bringing
the Dark One among them. Since they can’t get home, Arthur’s going to make a
Neo-Camelot. Step 1 of which involves poisoning his loyal squire so they can’t
magic the truth out of him. He doesn’t deceive him – he openly tells him it’s
poison he’s drinking and he accepts out of loyalty.
Emma has stolen the dwarf axe to try and cut though the
stone Excalibur is stuck in. The axe breaks first. Her inner-Dark-One tells her
to go get a hero to remove it already…
Killian and Robin both try to make sense of a sonogram
(which is amusing since neither of them have had Storybrook personas so have no
idea of the modern world. They really should do more of these scenes.) Robin is
all conflicted over being happy over having a child while Killian is concerned
about Emma having a secret room in her house she’s all Blue Beard about before
receiving an invitation from her to meet her on his ship.
On the ship Dark Emma makes nice to Killian. Killian
remarks on how she’s changed she points out that’s not entirely a bad thing –
and Gold could love as the Dark One and became a better person though Killian
doesn’t agree (with an interesting twist in which Killian seems himself as the
bad guy in his conflict with the Dark One). She keeps dancing and playing games
and Killian is not impressed – he recognises he is being used. She demands his
trust and asks him if he loves her – he says “I loved you.”
Ouch
Killian now wants Robin to help break into Emma’s locked
room
Belle’s flower shows Gold is recovering – but when she
runs home she finds Gold is missing. Emma has him – and she manipulated Killian
to get his sabre as a missing ingredient to the healing spell (also love that
her inner dark one mocks her impractical shoes) – and here I thought she was
genuinely hurt by Killian. She heals Gold and he wakes up – terrified of the
new Dark One. He’s a blank slate – a slate she intends to make into a hero who
can draw Excalibur.
I can see Robin having conflict over Regina and Zelena
and his baby – but I wish at least some of that conflict could come with an
acknowledgment that he was raped and this is also a source of conflict and
pain. Just one tiny acknowledgement!
I like Arthur a lot more than David because he has flaws and admits to them – I like the whole “I need a two ton table to remind me to be humble” line. He acknowledges he isn’t perfect. What is annoying is that David is the one gently poking his imperfections in a way that makes David look all good in comparison – especially after a season where he and Mary Margaret not only SACRFICED A BABY (never ever will I be over this!) but then spent most of the season justifying it and forgiving themselves and claiming the mantle of hero. They could use some of Arthur’s self-reflection.
Don’t get me wrong, I did like the reflection on legacies
and how both Arthur and David are famous for doing so very little – but if we’re
going to acknowledge the lack of heroics in David’s claim to be a hero couldn’t
that come with some reflection on his own arrogance, assumption of leadership
and assumption of inherent moral rightness that have been the Charming
hallmarks? Or how about that acknowledgement of him achieving virtually nothing
not come with him being considered the bestest if the Knights of the Round
table. Did they just forget everything he just said about being an utter
failure?
Another interesting self-reflection – Killian and his
idea that Rumplestiltskin was actually the good one and him the villain when
they fought. While I can appreciate Killian recognising his own path to
redemption, let’s not forget that Rumplestiltskin was “holding his family
together” by violently holding on to a wife who no longer wanted to be with him
– that’s not the act of a good guy no matter what “family” is preserved.
Still, after 5 seasons, I think self-reflection is a good
story element for the characters to re-examine their legacy and the conflicts
that have led them there (like, y’know, SACRIFICING BABIES!)
Arthur also kind of has a point – smuggling the Dark One
into a kingdom is pretty not cool. Ms. Manners would not approve - you should
definitely bring a bottle or fruit basket, not evil uncontrolled dark
sorcerers. It’s a nuanced villain – one who pretty much is a good guy only
caught up in the selfish machinations of the protagonists.
