Converting a book to a film is difficult – far more so
than a TV series. A book inevitably has more content, more nuance, more scenes
and more development than you can fit into even the longest of films (this film
is a little over 2 hours long, though it does feel longer). It’s difficult to
decide what to cut and what to keep but almost inevitably something has to be
sacrificed. That can be hard, it can be a disaster but it is probably a better
idea than doing what Mortal Instruments
did:
KEEP IT ALL!
This was a bad idea. Even with this film being eleventy
hours long, the plot didn’t fit. The Simon/Clary/Jace love triangle (the
romance at all for that matter, it ate far too much space), the vampire
interlude, the side track to Magnus for him to say “don’t worry about it, it
wears off” (pretty much the entirety of Magnus there), many many many LONG fight
scenes, werewolves thrown in just ‘cos, some weird conflict over Luke which
wasn’t even close to developed (thankfully) and even the whole incest thing
that absolutely no-one wanted – it’s ALLL THERE. Interspaced with lots of scenes
which basically have me picturing the director cackling “we have HOW MUCH
BUDGET?! CGI ALL THE THINGS! MOAR PRETTY! MOAR!”
So things suffered. Exposition was just rammed in everywhere,
just about any character at any time may feel the need to deliver a quick
lecture because we need ALL THE THINGS to be mentioned whether relevant or not
and we have zero time to develop any of it. The romance between Jace and Clary
was ludicrously fast forwarded (and this isn’t just because I can’t see Jamie
Campbell Bower and not think “12 year old” no matter how tall he is which means
not only did I have to endure incesty-ness, but 12 year old incestyness. No
thanks), to the point of being almost hilarious how deeply passionate these two
were about each other despite only knowing each other for… 16 hours?
And when Valentine finally appeared I honestly think if I hadn’t read the book I would have had no idea who he was. So much time was spent on flashy fight scenes, pointless side tracks, more flashy fight scenes, boring romance, more flashy fight scenes and big impressive camera pans with swelling music over pretty pretty CGI that there was no real development of the actual villain, what his motives are or even establishing him as a major threat rather than just another element of the eternal exposition. And when he showed up he spent more time on family drama than actually being a conceivable villain.
I actually almost want to argue that Ysabelle is the
protagonist of this movie. While Jace and Clary are angsting romantically with
Valentine, she’s running around with a flame thrower getting shit done. Of
course it didn’t help that Clary’s sole claim to protagonist-ness is that she
is the Keeper of the McGuffin and the super-shiny-power-of-shininess which she
did nothing to develop, achieve or earn but just had it because she’s the
protagonist. Oh Clary Sue step aside and take Sleeping Mother with you (wow,
Lena Headey was under-used on this movie) and let Ysabelle take over.
I think this fast forward also led to this film having
all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. In fact, I can almost hear the director
yelling “subtlety?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN MY CGI BUDGET?!” If a scene is meant to
be tense, the music will ramp up to 11 and the acting will make even the most
dedicated Shakespearean complain about the melodrama. The whole beginning of
this film contains so much forced ominous foreboding that I actually started
giggling. There’s no restraint – it’s all over dramatic swelling music and
camera pans and BIG EMOTIONAL REACTIONS because there’s no time to develop
emotion, so it’s just forced in there with hammers.
Minoritywise, alas Alec has
the same problems as the book: Clary magically guesses he’s gay on first
meeting (not that they ever use the word) and he spends half of the film being snippy,
bitter and catty towards Clary because he is pining after the straight guy Jace
and the rest of the film unconscious. Magnus, Asian and bisexual (in the book.
Here we see him comment on Alec’s looks which is about it) appears twice for a
few seconds and basically does very little. Both are very minor characters. We
also have Dorothea who is a witch (and more) but is still rather a passing
character.
To come back to a positive – this is a beautiful film. The
fight scenes were awesome, the settings were, indeed, very very very pretty
indeed. This was a truly beautiful film (and I’m not just talking about
Jonathan Rhys Meyers in leather. Well, not entirely), with some gorgeous CGI
and some genuinely ominous monsters. I cannot for one second complain about the
look of this film.
But being pretty is not sufficient to sell it.
