Sunday, April 24, 2016

Vampire Diaries, Season 7, Episode 19: Somebody I Used to Know

Today’s episode is all about those missing 3 years

Somewhat literally with Enzo romantically kidnapping and poisoning Bonnie for her own good and then them romantically falling for each while she takes 3 years to read a diary. Seriously, this is what comes of education in Mystic Falls, guys, you spend all your time watching Gone with the Wind and worshipping the founders that you never actually learn how to read.

Enzo and Bonnie falling for each other is quite sweet though. Even though I kind of want Enzo to disappear, it works. Bonnie still deserves better

Then Damon walks in and, of course, Bonnie is ragingly pissed at him because he decided to check out and abandon them all for various reasons and she’s not ok with him just turning up and acting like he can pick up where they left off.

But he does have a plan to save Bonnie – Rayna will give up her last magical life to Bonnie which will cure her. Apparently. They know this because REASONS.

Of course convincing Rayna is a hard sell, but since she’s spent 3 years being bombarded by images from all the vampires who escaped the sword, she’s willing to suicide for them if they’ll kill off all the vamps and let her have just a brief moment of peace.

See, this is why she should have used a stake and not a magical torture sword

Also why did this magical torture sword not do a better job of disabling these vampires? Stefan, Damon and Julian came out of the stone hallucinating and in severe mental difficulty?

Also, when a vampire soul enters a human body it does in, what, a week? That’s what we saw with possessed-Jo and with Stefan in his own possession… so why are there so many? They can’t ALL have leaped into the bodies of vampires!! And did they drive out currently existing vampire’s souls? Because there can’t have been many intact-yet-empty-vampire-bodies lying around!

We need to answer this because Stefan and Damon (and Alaric and Bonnie) are now going on a huge killing spree of dozens of vampires, any number of which could be perfectly innocent – or at least as innocent as Stefan and Damon. Which, admittedly, isn’t very innocent.

For that matter, being stabbed by Rayna is hardly proof of guilt either! We’ve seen her be quite indiscriminate about her stabbing (though, again, I have to point out her motivations, character and history has been an inconsistent hot mess) so any one of those people they’re merrily murdering could have been a decent person.

It’s not just that they decide to do the killing anyway, it’s just that none of them pause for even a second to discuss whether any of these dozens – hundreds? – of people deserve a good killing! Proof? They run into Bo, resurrected Heretic who knew Enzo and Damon kills him anyway. Sure Enzo and Bonnie are sad about it, but it’s glaring that neither of them gave a shit until it was someone they knew being murdered. This is classic Vampire Diaries broken morality: anything that hurts people I know is wrong. If I don’t know them, they’re disposable. And of course Bo died again, very few POC survive for any length of time on this show.

It all goes a little awry with Rayna adding a gazillion more names.

Paralleling Damon and Bonnie is Stefan and Alaric. See, when he went on his tour he abandoned Caroline, even when it was clear Rayna was locked up and he could stop running, he didn’t return to her, call her or anything, leaving her heartbroken and clinging to Rick who even Rick thinks she doesn’t love (and they appear to have separate beds which Stefan acts like is a total win but I want to point out could mean Alaric snores like a rhinoceros with sinus trouble). I don’t think Caroline and Rick have much of a future together, aside from the ethical dubiousness of a professor shacking up with his student or the fact he’s already older than her and she’s an unaging immortal.

Anyway, I don’t know if Alaric is pissed off because Stefan broke Caroline’s heart and is now coming back like it didn’t happen or because Stefan came back and may remind Caroline that Alaric is the rebound guy and she’s kind of hanging around for the kids.

Y’know, I’m actually extrapolating on all these “you left us for three years and you think you can just walk back into our lives?!” moments. I mean, I agree, they’re good moments and it really shows how self-absorbed the main cast is that they think they can do this and not face any push back. Both Damon and Stefan are shocked – SHOCKED – that no-one is happy with them yet still feel entitled to insert themselves back into the lives of people they abandoned.

 But is no-one seeing the elephant in the room? Elena. I mean their whole plan is Elena will stay dormant for however long it takes Bonnie to die and then she’ll come back

Actually it’s occurred to me now that even though Kat Graham is leaving the show, Bonnie will live! I mean, if she doesn’t how can they explain Elena not coming back?