Lucifer has promised to kill Cain - but he has no idea how to do it. Especially since Cain has tried repeatedly over the years, including chainsaws and volcanoes.
Even Maze’s hellforged steel doesn’t work - and that stuff kills angels. It also means that Maze has nothing to add because all of her killing tactics end with stabbing with demon blades because they do kill everything. Except Cain. She does suggest finding out whatever it is about Chloe that makes him vulnerable - and they both realise that god is all about loop holes and silly rules. There must be a vulnerability.
So Lucifer decides to psychoanalyse Cain… which is awkward because Cain is not a sharer.
This week’s murder is a woman pushed into a woodchipper (and there’d be so so so much more mess than that) only it seems she already died 3 years ago: she faked her own death. Digging into her background they find she was a cook for a gang producing their very very very best drugs and she faked her own death to get away from them after she started skimming off the top.
A fair bit of this information comes from Lucifer who a) was a regular customer and b) sells the drugs at his club and has a dealer bartender
Lucifer drops in on that gang and using lots of violence (I would say that he surely killed someone here which is supposed to be a no-no but it’s possible he just used them to kill each other) before reaching the head of the gang
Who then reports to Chloe, confessing everything but that he didn’t murder the victim - she had reached out to him to pay him back the money. But he wanted her to work for him - she was very very very good at what she did and his profits have suffered since she left
Ostensibly he did this because Lucifer agreed to give him her formula for the drugs and a few years in prison is worth it for the expanded profits. Or possibly Lucifer used woo-woo. They also discover Sandra was producing new drugs more suited to suburbia (Pierce: Did your partner just admit to snorting evidence?)
Investigating more, they find that the victim, Sandra, had received threatening notes and they decide they need to canvas the neighbours. Which means someone has to rent the house there undercover: but they only rent to couples. So it’s Pierce and Lucifer pretending to be a married couple and generally being very very very annoying, especially since Lucifer continues to push Pierce to open up so he can find his weakness.
They quickly learn that someone is taking the whole home owners association thing to extreme levels sending a lot of passive aggressive little notes. So Lucifer’s idea is to be the most annoying neighbour ever, with near nudity, loud music and DIY at 4:00am
But this turns out to be another red herring as the guy sending the passive aggressive notes is actually a customer of Sandra’s and credited her drugs for making him lose weight and have more energy (this whole episode is kind of a “yay! DRUGS!”)
So they need to find a handwriting sample - and what better way than to hold a neighbourhood party and have everyone sign the guest book. Which is apparently what people do now?
But while doing so Lucifer and Pierce have a fight because Pierce, rightly, points out that Lucifer tends to do everything for himself. But he also accuses him of not being a man of his word - which is a definite trigger for Lucifer. Chloe has no idea what’s going on but she talks Lucifer into going back and he and Pierce reconcile with a kiss over the nachos.
As they get more signatures, one man loses his mind to stop his wife signing - turns out she was the one who wrote the nasty note and killed Sharon because she thought she was having an affair with her husband rather than just being his drug dealer. Everyone is totally ok with drug dealing
So an arrest is made and Pierce and Lucifer talk: Pierce doesn’t like to let people close to him because he will see them all die - something Lucifer may learn once he’s been around for more than 5 years. But Lucifer does insist he will do anything he can to help Pierce die. They bond over the chainsaw
That not wanting anyone close is why Pierce also shuts down Chloe, putting it down to issues he had after his brother died (albeit far longer ago than she thinks)
We also have Maze meeting the new Charlotte for the first time - and she’s intoxicated by her smell. She definitely freaks Charlotte out with how utterly captivated Maze is and it certainly ruins her dinner date with Dan. It’s only when Maze realises Charlotte went to hell that she recognises the smell - it’s hell. She smells hell and she’s not attracted to Charlotte, she’s attracted to the life she once had. But she doesn’t want to revisit that period in her life so backs off.
I think this is an interesting insight into Maze: Maze isn’t interested in returning to hell, she doesn’t miss hell - she likes the life she has.
This sets Dan and Charlotte back on track
Ok, hands up those who didn’t think I’d have a problem with this episode? Because, yes I have a problem. I’ve repeatedly said how annoying it is that Lucifer’s invisibilised blink-and-you-miss-it bisexuality is annoying and a form of tokenism (especially in a character who has so very very very very many sexual partners and so much casual sex) which was only exacerbated by comic relief mentions (which is a trope which seems to be lasting longer than Cain). To have another episode where Lucifer’s ACTUAL bisexuality is ignored, but having him play-act a same-sex couple (with comic relief) is galling
Kind of terrible of me but I’m massively amused by how much Chloe & co are so used to Lucifer’s endless shenanigans that they’re all even blase about his drug use - and dealing.
And Pierce does have a resting Pierce face