Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - New Trailer

It's only a few weeks until the preview of this summer vampire movie.  We discussed the book last night on the podcast and discussed the appropriation and it looks like the film, from this preview is going to continue this.

Review of Legacy by Jeanne C. Stein Book of the Anna Strong Series

 

Anna has now been a vampire for about six months and the riff between her and chief Williams at the end of the last book, has lead her to believe that she will finally be able to live her human life. Gloria, her partner David's girlfriend, seems to exited his life, thrilling Anna.  Trish, the young girl that her parents believe to be their grandchild, who we met in Blood Drive,  has settled into their family.  Only Anna knows that Trish is not a blood relation, but she keeps the secret because she recognizes that her inability to age, means that her parents will need a child to dote on when she is forced to exit their lives. 

Well, when things are that perfect, they certainly cannot remain that way for long.  On yet another trip to Mexico to feed, because Anna still refuses to get a human partner, she runs into a largely female werewolf pack. Culebra recognizes the danger immediately and attempts to get Anna to leave, but before he can get her out the door, she runs into Max, her ex boyfriend with a female vampire.  Anna is immediately pissed, and he tells her that it's not that he can't get passed what she is, but that she lied about it for so long.  On her way to the door, Anna comes to the attention of Tamara, who instantly challenges her and has to be called off by Sandra, the alpha of the pack.  Anna is immediately filled with lust for Sandra and is confused because Sandra is a woman.  She begins to wonder if Sandra is using some sort of magic over her.

Gloria makes a reappearance in her life when she shows up claiming that she is being blackmailed by her business partner.  It turns out that Gloria hasn't exactly been faithful to David.  When Gloria is accused of murder, Anna jumps into the investigation -- not because she likes Gloria -- but because she does not believe her capable of murder.  As part of her fee, Anna demands that Gloria cease all contact with David immediately.  For his part, David is hurt by the betrayal and lashes out at Anna repeatedly.  Matters are only made worse when Tamara meets David and he ends up scheduling a date with her.  David still has no idea what Anna is, and worse yet, one bite from Tamara and he will become a werewolf.  Anna must find a way to break this date, without David learning why, and without jeopardizing her relationship with her.  The reasons for her issues with Tamara are justifiable, but her continual negative commentary on Tamara's performance of femininity are not.

Continuum, Season One, Episode One: A Stitch in Time

Continuum has one of the most interesting premises that have seen on television in a long time. It begins in 2077 with a terrorist bombing which killed 38,000 people to kill 20. In the year 2057, corporations bailed out the failed government and society is now run by corporations. It's meant a loss of representation, free speech and assembly.  Instead of having a distinction Canada and America, there is one united North American Union.

The group responsible is due for execution and so Kiera Cameron a police detective is called in.  She is married with a child and seems to work out of Vancouver District Prison.  At the execution, gestures between the prisoners lead Kiera to believe that something untoward is about to happen and so reaches out and touches one of the captives, only to be transported with them back to the year 2012.

At first Kiera doesn't even realize she has left her own time and goes chasing after the suspects, while asking for help using a chip that has been implanted in her brain. Instead of reaching the authorities, she reaches Alec Sadler, who at first believes that she has hacked his computer systems.  Kiera manages to catch up with Lucas who tells her that they have shifted in time. It seems that they had only intended to go back 6 years in time and instead traveled 60 years.  Lucas tells her that they cannot get in and that they have to become ghosts and blend in. Kiera hides when the police show up, leaving Lucas to get arrested.. 

Alec has been listening to the entire exchange and then tells her that the tech that they have been using has not been circulated and again asks again how she has the tech.  The other time shifters are confused and worried that Lucas is who is the only one who knows what happened is not with them.  Kiera asks what's going on and tells Alec that she is from the year 2077 and he still believes that this is an elaborate ruse until using the implant from her brain, she shows him images from the previous day. When she logs off for the night, Alec goes back through her memories and spies a logo for his company.

Game of Thrones, Season 2, Episode 9: Blackwater

Ser Davros is leading Stannis’s fleet to Kings Landing and, as is usual with Ser Davros the Onion knight, we get some more exposition as he speaks to his extremely devout and fanatical son.

In Kings Landing Tyrion wakes next to Shae, discussing the war, how he has no choice but to fight it and admitting his fear while Shae again makes it clear her loyalty is with him. Cersei is having her own council before the war – with Maester Pycelle , giving her a potion that would help her sleep or be used as a powerful poison.

Bronn is partying on the eve of battle (including naked women, of course) and singing in rather good harmony, actually. It seems that the soldiers of the Lannisters could double as a decent choir. But the revelry is interrupted by Sandor Clegane, the Hound and he and Bronn lock horns. Sandor to strip the illusions from Bronn and make his cold violence and love of killing seem more honest. The show down as to who is the most dangerous of the 2 is averted by an alarm bell ringing.

Varys and Tyrion are indulging in some verbal sparring while Tyrion puts on his armour. Varys has a map of tunnels under Kings Landing through which they can escape if necessary (though Tyrion is determined to stay, for which Varys has a wonderful little snarky barb). Varys also reveals he knows about Mellisandre, the priestess of Asshai that Stannis has – and that he believes in her sorcery and that Stannis has used the dark powers to gain his army. Something Varys considers intolerable.

Tyrion and Bronn  have a moment (I do like Bronn) and Tyrion sees Sansa has been called to see Joffrey off (rather than stay in the most secure keep), Tyrion also makes a point of pretending not to know Shae. Sansa pledges to pray for Tyrion’s safe return just as she does for Joffrey – now make of that what you will! Sansa’s getting good at these little barbs. Unfortunately, Joffrey arrives (alas, may something kill him soon) and calls Sansa like a dog. Sansa shows more of her devious cleverness as she manipulates Joffrey to fight in the Vanguard.

Cersei and Sansa retire to the secure keep, with Ser Ilyn (the mute executioner) standing by to guard them and to execute any servants trying to flee the castle with full pockets. Cersei busies herself getting drunk and trying to teach Sansa hard lessons about being a queen.

Cersei continues to get drunk while Sansa prays. Cersei reveals some more about how hard she is and why. She encourages Sansa to drink and expresses her frustration about being trapped and discusses how she would use seduction to win over their attackers if it weren’t for it being Stannis. She speaks frankly and callously to Sansa about what happens when a city falls and how the women in the room are likely to be raped, including Sansa.

Cersei speaks about how she and Jaime were treated so differently even as children when they looked almost identical. It’s a really good, angry summation of the fierce and rigid gender roles in Westeros and how much they devalue and demean women and Cersei in particular. Sansa protests that she was Robert’s queen but Cersei artfully points out that Sansa will be Joffrey’s queen and she’s unlikely to be happy about it. She also notices and question’s Shae – whose actions and inability to curtsy rouse Cersei’s suspicions.

They’re interrupted by Lancel carrying news and it distracts the tipsy Cersei who reveals the real reason for Ser Ilyn’s presence – to kill them all should Stannis get through. Cersei doesn’t intend them to be taken alive.

Joffrey and Tyrion have an amusing and childish game of communicating through proxies. And Ser Davros leads the fleet into a nearly empty harbour – the Kings Landing fleet is missing. And Tyrion’s plan becomes clear – 1 ship has sailed out, empty of men, trailing wildfire across the water. One flaming arrow later and it sets the water alight and explodes, devastating Stannis’s fleet and killing Ser Davros. But Stannis still lives and still outnumbers them – he’s determined to go forwards even though the cost will be far higher.

Joffrey loses his shit – predictably, while Tyrion keeps his cool and moves his soldiers appropriately. The Hound, Sandor Clegane, reminds us of his fear of fire (recall that the scar on his face was caused by his brother holding his face in the fire. He's deathly afraid of fire to the point of phobia) and threatens the fire archers painfully if any arrow comes near him. I’m not even entirely sure why they’re using flaming arrows since the stabby part seems to work just fine and a small flame isn’t likely to do that much more damage, but hey, it looks dramatic.

Time for dramatic fight scenes! It looks stylistic and bloody – arrows and dropped rocks and people and all kinds of nasty bloody, death. Thankfully, Clegane opens a door for them and dramatic swordplay is added to the mix. It’s pretty hard to see who is who in the night fight or who is on whose side. Clegane cuts people in half with his big sword and Lancel gets shot with an arrow.

There’s more and more fire on the battlefield (which I doubt helps either side) and Clegane becomes more and more frozen with his fear. He’s saved by Bronn but eventually leaves the battlefield, and the Lannister troops retreat, closing the doors behind them.

Fangs for the Fantasy: Episode 68

We discuss Game of Thrones and the way Sansa and Cersei have grown as well as the awesomeness of Tyrion. We talk about the Almighty Johnsons that, despite its many problematic issues, is something we love and fanpoodle. And we look at the new series starting of Continuum – it looks like it’s a great start but there are some things we hope they improve but in general we’re really enjoying this pilot.

We discuss out book of the week, Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith and the extremely problematic appropriation that takes up the book. We discuss the glorification of the south, the glossing over and denial of atrocities around the world and the putting of Abraham Lincoln on a Pedestal.






Our book of the week we will be discussing next Monday (4th June) is: Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire


Our book of the week we will be discussing on (11th June) is: The Strain by Guillermo Del Torro

Review: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Abraham Lincoln, statesman, orator, president of the United States, leader of the Union during the Civil Warm, the man whose Emancipation Proclamation ended slavery in the US and a vampire slayer.

Being left the journals of Lincoln, a young aspiring writer is given the mammoth task of chronicling Abraham Lincoln’s life. His entire life – and that included hunting vampires almost from childhood after his mother fell beneath the fangs of one. Since then he has trained hard and fought desperately against vampires across the US. At every stage of his history – from his youth in Kentucky through to Washington DC, vampire slaying was always a part of his life

But Vampire slaying was more than just a part of his life. Vampire slaying is one of the prime motivations of his existence – to fight and destroy all vampires in the US, firstly out of revenge for his mother’s death. But, as he learns more about them and their schemes, eventually it becomes a battle to save all of the United States from falling under their brutal control. It’s a fight that causes him to pursue the presidency. Ultimately, it’s a battle that leads him and the whole nation to war.

Stylistically, I’m not fond of this book. It is written as if by a modern author adapting and transcribing Abraham Lincoln’s journals with many direct excerpts. This means the book often switches from 3^rd to first person and we sometimes switch actors as well. It wasn’t hard to follow but it wasn’t a style I enjoyed nor do I think it made it easier to read.

Ultimately, I think this story rests on gimmickery. This isn’t just a 19^th century vampire hunter, it’s Abraham Lincoln. I think I miss part of the power of that simply because I’m English. Abraham Lincoln isn’t a major figure in my history or my culture – nor are the events and times described. It doesn’t have the same impact for me. It also means as we follow most of this book – following his life, his childhood, his family, his relationships, his children, the places he lived and the jobs he worked – well, to me they’re not all that interesting or fascinating. Maybe if, culturally, he was a more major figure to me it would be more compelling. As it is, I was rather bored, I didn’t find it fascinating or even particularly interesting. I won’t say it was awful – and I’ve certainly read worse, but it was never more than mildly amusing to me.

I didn’t find the plot – a man hunting and killing vampires which are evil monsters – to be especially fascinating. It’s not original, it’s nothing special. I won’t say it’s boring – and I found the action parts of the book to be great fun and really well written – well paced and perfectly described without so much that it feels bogged down yet not so sparse that we can’t follow the action.

I think this is a book that’s going to be very dependent on taste and whether the insertion of a historical figure into fantastic story is something you find appealing. Personally, it’s not exactly to my taste

Ok, now to the biggie that I cannot ignore and knew was coming from the moment I opened the book. Appropriation. There was no way a fictionalised book with Abraham Lincoln as the core character wasn’t going to involve some appropriation but oooooh it was a doozey. It was one of those books I went into faintly cringing knowing it was coming and I was still bowled over when it actually happened.

The Dresden Files: Season 1 Episode 9: The Other Dick

To continue to be a police consultant Harry, apparently, has to get his private investigator’s license, which involves class rooms and tests (well, given that he continually uses magic which doesn’t look good on police investigations and half of the cases he’s worked on must be marked unsolved, I think it’s a miracle he’s still a consultant at all). Unfortunately for Harry, the class isn’t a charity and he isn’t paying his fees – sending him begging to Murphy for money.

Oh, and for extra fun, his teacher (Brenan) turns up dead. Really, murdering the teacher in a private investigator school? Surely someone’s going to figure it out! (But it’d make a great final test wouldn’t it? Who murdered your teacher – for an A) and, of course, Harry was found over the body (which is such a habit of his Murphy doesn’t even suspect him any more. Honestly, Harry must stand around bodies waiting to be discovered lurking over them). The man was also charged with electricity – shocking Harry when he touched him

The main clue they have is that he was working on something before he died – though his notes are in code and his assistant, Fontaine (who thinks Harry should be arrested) knows nothing about it. Harry wants to solve this case because the deceased was a decent man, a good man. And Bob thinks he wants to solve it because Fontaine is an attractive woman. Of course, Bob is a dirty old lecher – but not always wrong when it comes to Harry and his disturbing  habit of getting very close to female clients.

Using some magic on the notes translates them and he heads to see Ronald Jones, HR manager at a meat packing plant where he meets up with and teams up with Fontaine.  Turns out Jones hired Brenan to follow his wife who was spending a lot more time away from home – but Brenan cleared her of having an affair, something Fontaine doesn’t agree with. There follows much tug of war between Harry and Fontaine over who is in the lead.

Following the wife, Felicity, leads them to many many shops and a fertility clinic in a ley line cluster – something Harry wants to follow up alone but ends up having to bring Fontaine along with him. Naturally, hilarity ensues. But Harry follows a ley line into a room. Now, I think the writer was aiming for this “alternative therapy room” to be full of creepy occult stuff (so the music implies). To me I just see a metric fuckton of candles with some rather abstract artwork and odd little potpourri piles. It’s quite pleasant, really. Anyway Felicity is being treated in the pleasantly decorated not-very-spooky occult room. Other than Brenan being grabby with Fontaine, they don’t find much else and leave with piccies of the occult room and a sample of tea from it.

Face Off: Which Book do you Want to See Turn to TV?

As anyone visiting our site knows, we have read a lot of Urban Fantasy. A lot of those books go on to be made into a films or, even better, TV series - which we always run to check out. And, we have to say, we’re often disappointed, upset and even bemused by the choices made. After watching an entire season of Secret Circle, the only good thing I can say about it is that at least it wasn’t repeated for another season. Having attempted to read the books, I can’t imagine anyone expecting better. Another CW creation is The Vampire Diaries. Now, we have spoken at length about the problems of The Vampire Diaries and we’re not exactly looking forward to it coming back, but, having read the books I have to applaud CW. Yes, I applaud them - because the series is monumentally better than those books.

Even True Blood, which we enjoy, was hardly based on our favourite series. Of course, maybe we should be grateful as some books I have enjoyed - the Dresden Files and Blood Ties have been turned into rather mediocre TV series

But now we’re looking at what series we’d really love to see reach the TV screen - if The Vampire Diaries and Twilight were worthy of TV and film adaptation, then surely some of our favourites deserve a chance!

So, which one of these do you think should make it to the screen? Or do you have your own suggestion?



Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles.

From the moment I picked up Hounded I was absolutely hooked on this series.   Atticus O’Sullivan is a 2000+ year old druid, who draws his power directly from the earth, and lives with his Irish wolfhound Oberon.  Atticus bound his mind to his wolfhound which allows Oberon to speak intelligently. I have to tell you right now, Oberon is one of the best charcters in Urban fantasy, and I would dearly love it if Hearne would write lines for my dog.  Atticus move from adventure to adventure battling various mythical pantheons.  With various Gods always wanting to kill him, the world’s last remaining Druid must be quick on his feet. The absolutely best exchange of the series happened Hammered the third book in the series, when Atticus meets Jesus Christ.

Jesus appears wearing a tie dyed T-shirt in predominantly reds, yellows, and greens, with a white peace sign screen-printed on the front of it.  He also wore a pair of relaxed fit blue jeans and classically black Chuck Taylors. Hearne even went as far as to suggest that "Jesus looked like the guy from the Old Spice bodywash commercials".  I dare you to tell me one single place that you can find Jesus described in this way?  What ensues is an irreverent exchange, with Jesus providing fish and chips to a crowded bar, explaining that "miracles are so much more fun when people are expecting them of you," while pounding back 60 year old whiskey. I laughed until my tears poured from my eyes.