Elena and Stefan have been kidnapped by Travellers because they were too busy love triangle arguing than actually handling shit and now Damon is dealing with this the way he deals with everything – torturing people. Caroline also drops in so they can exposition everything.
Stefan and Elena are both being drained by the Travellers but some helpful person frees Stefan and despite both of them being hardly able to walk, they manage to escape. Travellers, I’m not impressed. They top up their blood with “squirrel slaughter” (Elena’s not a fan) and call Damon, not for rescue but so he can hunt down and kill Markos since he has a huge bucket of doppleganger blood and can do all kinds of mischief with it. Stefan and Elena begin the long walk home, frustrated by the fact they’re so low on blood their vampire mojo is failing (to prove this, Stefan tries and fails to blur for Elena’s amusement – also lots of angst. Lots and lots of angst).
And Damon gets stabbed. That’s Enzo’s way of getting Damon’s attention and reminding us, through Bonnie, that Damon promised to find a way to bring him back. And he’s driving Bonnie up the wall until he gets his way – and wasting perfectly good booze (well, insofar as American booze can be perfectly good). Hey, Enzo, this is Mystic Falls, people drink booze instead of water – you can’t be wasting it. Damon’s plan is for Enzo to latch on to whatever spell Liv is planning to cast to save Bonnie from the Other Side collapse – Bonnie disagrees but no-one listens to her.
Live and Luke have a meet and greet where the coven they belong to is really pissed (this is the coven that thinks stopping the Travellers getting the dopplegangers is major important but has only sent 2 young witches to deal with it) and is blaming Luke for Elena and Stefan’s blithering foolishness – and sending unpleasant migraines to make their point. Last option is to kill Elena and Stefan.
See, I’d have made it the first option.
Random cameo from Pam, who is possessed by the Traveller, Karl who gets a vial of doppleganger blood from the postman (you can get ANYTHING off amazon or ebay) then stabs Pam’s husband in the neck for completely failing to realise his wife has been colonised by a total stranger. Also he’s Black and lacks any useful woo-woo so he was never going to live long on this show.
Stefan and Elena are still annoying and are now saying how wonderful Caroline is, they get a ride. Not because of Elena’s breasts (which she deploys to aid hitchhiking) but because it’s Maria, the Traveller wife of Traveller Julian and she’s the one who freed them. Because she thinks I haven’t suffered enough, it seems.
She wants Julian – in Tyler’s body (she says Tyler is gone). She wants to leave with him to spend his last moments with her. Yes, last moments, because the spell will strip Tyler of his vampireness and then kill him.
Damon has the stooges (Tyler and Jeremy) drag in the “husks” of all the Travellers from the cave (my idea – admittedly mind involved axe murder). Caroline and Damon snark back and forth for a while, ending with Caroline telling Damon to not torture Julian/Tyler because “she doesn’t abandon the people she cares about”. A direct hit that woman! Though it has to be said until very very recently she was quite happy for Damon and Elena to break up. Caroline checks with Julian who confirms that Markos wants to remove all witch magic – including daylight rings and vampirism.