It seems to be the in thing now to start episodes with a flashback – alas going this far back means more of Katherine’s story which means, alas, she probably isn’t dead.
Katherine gives birth to her baby daughter – which is then taken away by her father before she even gets to hold her, while she begs to be able to hold the baby at least once.
This is cut in the present by Katherine in the hospital, flatlining and being treated by doctors while Stefan and Nadia wait outside. Even if she pulls through (and her heart starts again), Stefan warns Nadia that Katherine is definitely dying and all they can do is take her home and make her comfortable.
Meanwhile, everyone else is dealing with Damon and Elena breaking up (which happened because of reasons that are so stupid my head actually hurts if I try to contemplate them). Bonnie and Caroline drop in to comfort Elena (well, Caroline is celebrating because she hates Damon and understandably so) while Matt and Jeremy watch Damon drink.
Stefan calls with the news of Katherine’s impending death
To which Damon, Matt and Jeremy play an awesome drinking game of listing the worst things Katherine has ever done to them (I think Jeremy wins with the “she fed me to Silas and I died”). Elena, Bonnie and Caroline arrive with apparent outrage – because Elena totally gets to play this game as well (and she, rather laughably, is cutting Jeremy off, ignoring 5 seasons of hard drinking). Bonnie and Caroline add their own lists. They need more booze - just the number of people round the table who have been killed by Katherine or she has tried to kill needs a full bottle.
Of course Stefan is by Katherine’s side reassuring her - and her vanity. Stefan comes down to try and make them move it on but even he takes a drink and remembers some more of the evil she’s done – but then throws in Katherine’s 500 years on the run to point out her motives. Of course it’s also revealed that Stefan has slept with Katherine again for lots of extra questioning of his sudden softening towards her.
And Nadia shows up – telling the whole group she has buried Matt inside the safe and if they want him to live they have to help her save Katherine. She wants them to find a Traveller to teach Katherine how to live in someone else’s body – in Nadia’s body to be exact.
Caroline, meanwhile, is more concerned about all the sex people are having. Because… Caroline. And she runs into Klaus… shouldn’t he be in New Orleans? He whooshes after Caroline who continues to try and whoosh away. He’s arranged for Mat to be rescued by Rebekah so he can flirt with Caroline.
Katherine is having Damon-narrated dreams of Klaus killing her family while the real Damon is stopped from smothering her with a pillow by Liz – completely ruining his fun. Damon reveals the bad thing he didn’t drink to – Katherine taught him how to kill and how to enjoy it, she “ruined him.” Liz is more ok with Damon drugging Katherine when she gets snarky (I kind of love how Sheriff Liz went from “EVIL VAMPIRES AARGH!” in season 1 to giving Damon an “oh you!” look when he tries to kill people).