Under the Dome is back…. Oh. Yay. (As I said in the last episode of the previous season this may be proof there is no such thing as a loving god)
And it’s a double first episode. Loki, what did I ever do to you?
We’ve now updated the opening voice over to “3 weeks since the Dome came down.” Just boggle at that. We’re also told they found a way out last episode (which they seemed to) but the voice over thinks it may lead to an alternate reality…
Under the Dome that’s a supreme amount of dubiousness and we’re not even past the voice over yet
To the tunnels before the portal of mist and white light – and creepy Melanie tells everyone it’s time to go home. Barbie moves to follow it Joe and Norrie don’t want to leave Julia. I want to make it clear that I’m so very happy for them to leave Julia. Yes yes I am. People are also worried about going through an unknown misty portal. Since the alternative is staying trapped under the dome and having to endure Big Jim with nowhere to go, I don’t care if the portal leads to Hell or Wisconsin, I would sprint through it.
They emerge into a field with no Melanie – and the Dome making terrible sounds (but they are outside). The Dome gets a nice firework display of pink lights – then explodes and disappears
The Dome is gone! The end! Yay!
Or not? Barbie goes looking for Julia and runs past Big Jim’s impaled body, James Junior unconscious or dead (maybe dead? Please?) and Julia also unresponsive. He holds her and cries. I’d feel sad for you Barbie but I kind of want all these people to die, so I’ll be over here kind of hoping they’re not breathing, sorry and all.
And now we’re in Yemen and Barbie is a soldier and Hunter appears to be his tech support guy… it’s a good thing I don’t expect this show to make sense. They’re rescuing people from insurgents while surrounded by random burning stuff for dramatic purposes. We have a firefight in which Barbie’s team does little and he is a Big Damn Hero (of course) before taking and abusing a prisoner because America and evil Muslims. He then shoots the helpless guy in the head.
Hey, can we go back to doing ridiculous things under a dome? I prefer that to random killing brown people for edginess and how I’m expected to still root for this guy after he murdered someone after mentally torturing them.
Hostages are rescued from evil insurgents and the nice aid worker thanks Barbie for being such a good mercenary and helping her save the world. She thanks him more in the shower later – they’re a couple (Under the Dome, you make me watch this drek yet still show that little of Barbie showering? You could have at least tried to make this whole thing less painful). Afterwards she tells him what a good person he is for murdering and abusing guys
Joe is also texting him for reasons. He ignores it and goes to bed to have more nightmares about Julia (it’s ok, I sometimes have nightmares about that terrible character as well. In fact the whole last season was quite traumatic, there’s a limit to how much stupidity we should have to endure). Apparently it’s been a year since the Dome came down – and Aid worker lady (can we get a name?( wants him to go to the memorial at Chester’s Mill