A brief montage of Rebecca with baby Hope while Klaus extolls the duties of parenthood and how monumentally bad theirs were to Kol and Finn. Yes he wants his brothers to switch sides which strikes me as a monumentally bad idea since Finn doesn’t breathe without his mother’s position and Kol is so randomly violent that the only thing worse than him as an enemy is him as an ally. In a bit of a switch, Klaus is playing the friendly brother while Elijah would much rather be slicing and dicing his kin. Finn wants to know where Rebekah is because he’s sure she’ll be much more amenable to Esther’s offer of being human again. While he tells them Esther is hunting Rebekah, we cut to her starring in her own little Hitchcock movie with ominous, gathering birds.
Elijah bites Finn. Really Elijah, that’s shocking – it’s the fish course!
Klaus rather hilariously urges his big brother to get a grip when Rebekah calls to say she has a little bird problem. Klaus has to send Elijah to help Rebekah because he doesn’t trust the new, blood thirsty Elijah not to slice and dice their brothers into tasty bite-sized chunks.
Cut to Hayley, Jackson and Aiden and Aiden all concerned because unless they come up with a plan soon he’s going to be figured out as a mole and royally squished. Hayley is sure sweet reason will convince the pack, Aiden points out that moonlight rings are actually a bit better than rousing speeches and points out they have actually gone from swamp living exiles to now actually being able to live in the city – Jackson speaks over this tide of reason and orders Aiden to set up their sweet reason speech in a complete “how dare you question!” tone.
The peon dismissed, Hayley complains about Jackson’s day drinking (what does he think this is, Mystic Falls?). She goes through the now dead Ansel’s notes to give us some werewolf exposition: turns out every werewolf didn’t have every ability they all do now. Each pack had a separate power but then their alphas married and by the power of leader-humping, their packs shared the gifts. As more and more marriages happened, all werewolves got all the powers like some kind of fuzzy planeteers, but with more wolf humping; until the marriages became merely political for alliances since everyone already has all the shiny toys. She theorises that if she (alpha hybrid) marries Jackson (hybrid) she will give everyone the hybrid power of changing whenever they want – making them super-powerful (with their vamp killing bite) and not suffering all that moon agony (wouldn’t it technically make them all hybrids? As in vampires? This isn’t explained). Jackson points out that sham Vegas marriages won’t work here – Hayley and Jackson will have to be really properly married forever and ever. Hayley cancels the Elvis wolf.
Over to Camille who seems a little hungover after her little Esther experience. Clearly they hit the town, had a few tequila shots and now everything’s cool. Hayley calls her to meet up so they can check up on the by-your-powers-combined wolf-humping ritual and mainly so she can have relationship talk over whether she should marry Jackson. They also find some spooky black spots on her Camille’s back which isn’t very reassuring.