It’s back! Almighty Johnsons is back! After we thought it was cancelled, it returned to us, precious! It returned!
Now, fix Gaia. Now now, now, now.
And Anders no longer has the horrible beardy thing! Things are looking up! He returns to a perfect fairtytale home where his pregnant wife, Gaia, awaits him – so happy and joyful and sweet. Apparently 5 years have passed – and Axl is very very pissed about Gaia and Anders – and is embedded in a tree.
Thankfully it’s not real, it’s Axl’s twisted imagination. Less thankfully, he snaps out of this because Gaia screams his name while he’s driving a car at speed on the wrong side of the road with another car coming in the opposite direction. After some very exciting spinning out of control, they come to a stop – alive and in one piece. But Axl just can’t live in a world with Gaia and Anders together. Gaia, always the sensible one, points out Anders is nowhere to be seen, she’s in Axl’s car, going to the house where they live together and she intends to spend the night in Axl’s bed. Gaia, awesome as always. Axl and Gaia kiss passionately. They continue to kiss all the way back home. They don’t stop kissing as he struggles to open the door, they don’t stop kissing as the go into his room at which point I think they do stop kissing by the moans, cries and panting that follows. It kind of ruins Zeb’s Frigg re-birth party.
Anders is at his own flat (with an odd hallucination of Gaia in his bathroom mirror) and does a really good job of being silently torn up about Helen’s (Idun) murder – her blood still staining his kitchen floor.
Ingrid (Snotra) gets thoroughly drunk and has to explain the whole hot mess to Ty. Mike (Ullr) complains bitterly about digging Helen’s makeshift grave, complaining that Anders should do it and being really dismissive of Ander’s grief. Olaf (Baldr) sort of helps but I think even he’s not impressed by Mike’s whining. Michele (Sjofn) and Stacy (Fulla) clear out Natalie’s (the murdering religious fanatic) room and Michele weighs up whether Gaia, as Idun, will be easier to deal with.
Returning to Anders, Mike chews him out for not cleaning up the blood in his kitchen (and Anders tries to invoke Mike’s Ullr abilities by suggesting burying a body is a “hiding game”. Nice try). Mike and Olaf also warn Anders off Gaia. Agreed there, but I still think people might find more sympathy for Anders. Even if he doesn’t actually encourage it.
Exhausted, Mike goes home to Michele and adds dodgy plumbing to his list of things to do. He wants to know why Colin (Loki) called Michele the most powerful goddess (she can make anyone infatuated with anyone else – sounds pretty powerful to me) but Michele pleads ignorance (possibly honestly). She wants to know if Mike still plans to kill Colin but given Colin’s ability to make nasty murdering god hunters explode, Mike’s backing up on that one.
Anders goes to work (in Jon Hamm trousers that, of course, I didn’t notice) and tells a very very scathing Dawn that Helen and Natalie are out of the picture – including the business they were supposed to be bringing (and also denying he ever had a beard – yes, let us pretend it never happened). Anders uses his Bragi powers to mojo Dawn – and, because it’s Almighty Johnsons, throw in a suggestion that Natalie and Helen have run off to have a lesbian affair. And has another Gaia hallucination.
Ty drops in to see Anders and asks Dawn out (who doesn’t remember him) – and I find myself agreeing with Anders again, too soon Ty! You’re being creepy. Just to remind us that Ty is the sweet one, Anders asks him lots of personal information about Helen to see if anyone’s going to come looking for her (no). Ty found all this out on one date while Anders, despite being with her for weeks, didn’t know any of it – they just had sex constantly. Anders continually ducks any questions about his feelings.
Back at Gaia and Axl’s, an apple tree has sprouted out of the sofa. Which rather freaks Zeb out since the landlord is coming to visit tomorrow. The perils of the new Idun. Time to call in Olaf and Ingrid to see what the holy apple tree means (they eat the apples, because they’re awesomely delicious. Apples all round (except Gaia who thinks it’s vaguely creepy) and I’m with Axl, it’s probably a bad idea of Zeb to eat them. Unfortunately, Anders isn’t the only one with hallucinations and Gaia sees Anders – she reacts with sexually suggestive finger sucking with Axl.