There are many times
in life where persistence and patience are rewarded. Times when we - and
certainly the characters we read - should fight on no matter what, against all
obstacles, in the teeth of the most vicious opposition. After all, a hero
winning against all the odds is always good for an epic story. And it’s almost
a trope now that if your hero gets into a fight this will start out badly for
them, they’ll be beaten until they rally, the dramatic music plays and they
give their enemies a good kicking. Everyone loves a scrappy underdog story and
there’s nothing quite so underdog as rising from the ashes of defeat
Then we come to romance and… this trope continues. Not only continues but it has been thoroughly embedded in our society - faint heart never won fair lady, women play hard to get and, most toxically “no means yes”. We have entire genres of romance, rom-coms and more centred around the plucky male underdog, being rejected and refusing to take that no for an answer, persevering and then winning the reluctant woman’s stubborn heart. All “no” means is that you need to try harder, try again and again and again until you wear her down.
Or, to put it another
way, men don’t take no for an answer and continue to stalk, harass and
generally annoy a woman until she gives up. These stories don’t show love or
romance and these men don’t approach their prospective love interests as people
- but as prizes to win, obstacles to overcome to earn their eventual reward.
This can be very
prevalent in long running Urban Fantasy series where a relationship is a slow
burn rather than an insta love.
It takes Kate
Daniels several books before her relationship with Curran became a thing. Oh he fixated on
her quite early in the series but she wasn’t buying, despite being impressed by
his physique. She resisted him, insulted him generally tried to make it clear
that they were never going to be a thing. While he pursued her, pushed her, challenged
her and even broke into her house (this seems to be a theme of these
relationships - it’s not true love if the guy hasn’t broken into her house at
some point).
I love Kate and
Curran’s relationship. I love it, they’re awesome together - but they way they
got there was a problem. Kate said no, Kate refused but Curran pushed and
pushed and persisted and thought and… won.
We see this with the
Otherworld series’
original partners - Elena and Clay. Their relationship starts in the rockiest possible
way with Clay biting Elena and risking her life turning her into a relationship
without her consent. After some rocky beginnings she runs - yes she has other
issues as well prompting her to run, but after leaving the country she is very
clear that she doesn’t want Clay in her life. Like a good Urban Fantasy
protagonist, he takes this as a challenge, pushing back into her life, using
circumstances to move into her home (and wedge between her and her actual
fiance) and even getting handsy. Elena says no to Clay, Elena does not want him
in her life - yet he persists. And he wins.












