Please Don't Tell My Parents I Have Henchmen (Please Don't Tell My Parents #3) by Richard Roberts

Penny’s career as a supervillain is in jeopardy with parental interference – but there’s a more complex battle happening at school. More and more of Penny’s contemporaries are deciding to be open with their super powers. A club is formed – and of course Penny is picked to lead it

But this points to a whole cultural shift for the city as people are now wearing their powers openly, the more alien super-powered beings are now able to be join the community and it comes with a whole lot of more complex questions: like who these kids want to be and what it actually means to be a super powered being

This book seems to be covering a lot more serious issues than the previous two – it has grown up a bit from the previous incarnations of the story.

When Penny started to gather a huge fanclub following of fellow superhero kids at school, I wondered if the Infernal Machine was going to become an army.

But, it was deeper than that. It instead used all of these kids to ask a lot of difficult questions and broaden the world beyond being just a zany setting of hilarious, almost comical superhero/villain fights

Like what goes into the choice of whether to become a superhero or a supervillain? Which do these kids want to be? Why? It may seem simple but then we see Marcia, poor, tortured, ill Marcia who speaks out of the perfection and repression that comes with heroism. We see kids who have powers that aren’t pretty and just don’t fit neatly into hero themes – including heroes rejecting their superpowered kids because their powers are “thematically” wrong

And what about those kids who do have super powers that just don’t lend themselves to combat? Not ever super power is actually an ideal battle ability. Nor is every altered form ideal for fighting – the kid who looks like they’re made of living glass may be intimidating and kind of awesome, but they’re also waaay too brittle to be involved in combat. In between the super powered fighting, the kids learning to use their powers, the kids all learning the rules of the world they’re in there’s a lot of looking at what it really means to be a super powered kid.

Haven, Season 5: Episode 15: Power

We move forward 2 weeks – 2 weeks of non-stop Troubles and people becoming more and more stressed. There’s a darkness Trouble – something which means everyone has to avoid the darkness or die horribly, leaving only a skeleton behind. Gruesome

I like the vain-lady’s reflective skin Trouble.

Audrey is not getting on too well with mother Charlotte who still hasn’t cured the Troubles. She is getting on very well indeed with Nathan. They keep telling us about a gazillion Troubles happening all the time.

Oh and while there’s a Trouble that kills people in the dark, the electricity I acting up. They need to fix the power plant. At night. With Troubles everywhere. Well volunteered Nathan. Nathan whines that they need to stop the Darkness Trouble – uh-huh I’m sure that is on the to-do list Nathan.

Dwight has also instigated his own law – people who he deems guilty of hurting the group are “banished” (actually a better term would be “outlawed” since they aren’t sent anywhere but the Guard stops helping them). Audrey and Nathan realise this is pretty much a death penalty. Vince agrees with his choice, though Dwight has the guilt weasels.

Vince is also shown another body apparently killed by whatever is in Dave’s visions (no mark but weird eyes). Audrey confronts Dwight on not doing basic police work – like dealing with thieves according to the law and finding missing persons. She also learns about the dead man – the missing man who may actually be the one with the Darkness Trouble – Vince has to tell her about the vision/beast/serial killer including that it killed the Colorado Kid (Audrey’s son. Kinda).

Also rather than banishing people they’re using a Trouble to put people into basically sleeping comas. The Troubled guy isn’t doing well but he’s willing to help. At least it’s not a death penalty, but Audrey is still not amused

Anyway, Nathan puts his team together (including Charlotte and Dave). They set off through a Haven which now has warning signs and traps and all kinds of eerie things around. They lose one member of the party and Charlotte reveals they need more aether to fix the Troubles. A whole stash of it – which means they need William’s stash. They have a detector for it.

They get to the power plant and do some tinkering – and break it. You had one job! While Nathan and the extra go looking for Aethur, Charlotte and Dave stay to fix the plant and we learn Dave is a Half-line, half human and half alien/thingy.

Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up The Moon (Please Don't Tell My Parents #2) by Richard Roberts

Penny, Claire and Ray are back from their supervillained shenanigans over the holidays and they are now back at school.

And they are bored. So very bored.

So when a supervillain offers them the chance to explore space and visit the moons of Jupiter, of course they jump at the chance!

Robots, alien goo, warring factions, oppressive automatons, and so much more – Penny and her friends are deeply involved in all of it.

Penny and her minions in the Infernal Machine are back – and I have been looking forward to this one.

This book takes the story to a completely different world – literally. The supervillains go into space using Penny’s magnificent inventions to explore new world and discover a really wide cast of characters and factions around Jupiter’s Moons

The world here is really impressive in its complexities. We have so many different factions with a range of different plots and motivations and agendas which don’t always work together. Each society/faction is very different and there’s a lot of storyline elements from each one – as well as characters who either cross the line between the different factions or draw upon lines from different faction – and even have motivations simply above and beyond their factions. I like that in particular because it’s always tempting just to make characters little avatars of the factions they represent.

Absolutely nothing about this is simple. Even the hallucinating space goat. No, really.

There’s also some really interesting interaction between Penny and another super-powered being she finds there, Remmy. I like how Penny has been established as powerful and special – but she still has peers and equals. I like the complexity of their relationship with reasonable misunderstandings, competition, friendship, jealousy and just a lot of very real emotion as well as some very pointed lessons about underestimating people and assuming their own super capabilities

If I have a complaint it’s because this book is TOO complex. Too many factions, too many people, too many separate agendas – and all of it completely introduced at once while the gang try to learn it all and wallow in the middle of it while pushing a storyline. And I wasn’t even sure what the storyline was. What were the Infernal Machine doing? What was their actual agenda there? I honestly didn’t know and I did feel kind of lost and confused more than once as I tried to remember who all these people where and, ultimately, why the Infernal Machine should care. In some ways they felt like a clumsy insert causing a lot of problems as they plunged into a situation they knew little about

Haven, Season 5, Episode 7: Nowhere Man

Audrey is back with us after last week – and Mara didn’t go away.

Everyone agrees they have no idea what happened and why Duke’s released Trouble caused an Audrey to manifest, but it did. Duke and Audrey are all for handing Mara over to the Guard, but Nathan isn’t so keen with Dwight having left town (probably because of his estranged and now dead sister). Audrey was connected to William last season, any harm done to him happened to Audrey as well, he worries the same may be true for Mara (go downstairs and stick her with a pin or something and test it).

Audrey doesn’t want to spend any time with Mara so it’s Duke who goes down to figure out whether there’s a connection or not. Of course, Mara isn’t co-operative but agrees to tell them – in exchange for the Crocker journal. Duke realises she’s worried about the Troubles his family has absorbed because, unlike all the other Troubles, Mara isn’t immune to the ones inside Duke. Duke decides a different plan – cut off one of Mara’s toes then Audrey would lose hers, proving it (uh, I think my pin prick may be a more sensible suggestion). Of course, Duke’s ridiculously extreme suggestion means Mara knows he won’t do it – because he’s not going to cut off Audrey’s toe.

Nathan and Audrey are getting reacquainted, naked, in bed (Audrey losing a toe at that point would have really ruined the mood. Hey, if they are linked, do they share sensations beyond pain and injury?). But Nathan gets a message about a Trouble and reveals why he is reluctant to take Audrey out investigating (we’ve handwaved everyone’s suspicion by Nathan apparently having told everyone she’s Audrey again and everyone being totally ok with that) – he thinks she’s lost her Trouble immunity since he can’t feel her touch. Still Audrey takes this as a great sign that she has become her own person

Of course, when they go to the Trouble scene (with three dead) not everyone is accepting Nathan’s handwave and the grieving survivor assumes Audrey is a monster who caused the deaths; though Rebecca (a new recurring police officer) assures her Audrey only looks like Mara. Though Rebecca herself doesn’t agree – she’s just following Nathan’s instructions. The dead themselves haven’t left bodies – just shadows on the wall. They do connect the victims to the farmer’s market and Nathan realises that “hey she’s totally not a bad guy any more” isn’t really going to keep Audrey safe, so asks her not to go with him.

At the farmer’s market Nathan runs into Reggie the angry Guard member who isn’t Nathan’s biggest fan. Someone was mean to him so he goes back to the office instead to look at old cases with shadows – and as he talks to Audrey on the phone he disappears in a flash of light

Haven, Season 5, Episode 2: Speak No Evil

Duke is having a bad day and decides to unload to Nathan – who tells Duke Mara shot him. Y’know stealing someone’s thunder like that is just rude. Nathan’s not getting medical help though because Mara’s after evil Aether (the black goo) and Duke is willing to let it go because he’s obsessed with finding Jennifer

Mara, meanwhile, happily murders someone possibly over a pencil before recruiting intern Vicki with her drawing Trouble to do some sketching for her, hoping her power will open the Thinnie (oh gods are we calling them that?) Thankfully, no, Vicki isn’t powerful enough because she’s an “early model.” Vicki gets tased – it’s useful being semi-regular cast, less chance of being murdered. But Mara did get Vicki’s keycard which lets her in the morgue where she works.

As we check in on Gloria (who is awesome) we see the test-tube of Aether she has stored acting up – just as Mara arrives with a gun.

Having spoken to Vicki, Nathan arrives looking quite chipper considering the bullet wound and finds the morgue in disarray and Gloria, thankfully, (or we’d have ISSUES), alive and snarky (and still awesome – she had the presence of mind to hide when Mara showed up with Intern’s pass. Yes, Intern, Gloria has no patience for silly things like names). Gloria also hid the Aether, because she’s Gloria and awesome. It also means Nathan fills her in on the whole Audrey/Mara thing while she deals with the many many bodies.

Dwight drops in on Vince who is still guarding Dave’s bedside – he’s not happy about Vince keeping the whole Mara-is-responsible-for-the-Troubles to himself and also Driscol’s fanatics are giving the Barrow family grief because the whole face sewing Trouble going round is their family Trouble (even if it’s now on Duke). And, basically, Vince is totally slacking off in his task of heading the Guard.

Dave does finally wake up and Vince uses the arcane powers of soda and porn to question his brother about his little secret of having being through the portal. Though all he remembers is fog – and returning to the real world in terrible pain and with bruises which now has all over again. Vince takes scans of the injuries to Gloria who declares them terribad.

Dwight’s still trying to fix the Trouble issue which means grabbing Duke and stopping him obsessing about Jennifer for 5 seconds – especially since he just got an entire coastguard crews’ eyes sewn shut. Dragging Duke to the Barrows finds Henry Barrow badly beaten – looks like Vince was distracted and didn’t arrange the protection he should have. Bringing them to the hospital also unleashes Duke’s little sewing problem on the poor medical staff. While Duke is panicking, Dwight questions an elderly member of the Barrow family about the Trouble and learns that the sewing happens whenever someone tries to tell them bad news (everyone telling Duke that they haven’t seen Jennifer). There’s even more rumbling of the Guard being restless.

Haven, Season 5, Episode 1: See No Evil

So, everything changed at the end of last season. Audrey is now the evil Mara, Jennifer and Duke are not feeling so good and William has been dropped in a dimension with an over-active smoke machine.

So with all that happening we need to see Gloria. Hey I normally love Gloria, she’s awesome, but really with all that’s happening do I need to see her and her now trouble-less baby? Vicki’s (she who can make her pictures real) also there to remind us that the Troubles are staying for extra long time this time round rather than their usual break.

Then an earthquake hits – and a ring of light explodes out from the lighthouse (where Audrey and the gang are) before the lighthouse collapses into the sea.

Duke and Dwight end up on shore outside of Haven – and Duke is no longer bleeding from the eyes (which is probably a good sign).

The Teagues are bickering in the middle of the woods, Dave is badly injured (he was shot)

Nathan finds Audrey and she promptly cuffs him and steals his gun because he’s completely forgotten that she’s now evil Mara. Evil Mara has really not enjoyed the last 500 years of reincarnated do-gooders (all of which she remembers) and needs Jennifer (to open the door and free William) and then she can go on creating evil Troubles for nefarious but unexplained purposes. She clonks Nathan unconscious which, let’s be honest, we’ve all wanted to do occasionally.

Duke finds and frees Nathan and now we have two teams hunting Jennifer. When they realise that the lighthouse is destroyed (much to some administrator’s distress) that means the doorway to Dry Ice World is under the sea – so now what will Mara done? Nathan and Duke bicker so it’s time to interrupt them with a Trouble – administrator Bill gets his eyes sewn up. Nasty.

They decide it’s a new Trouble and Nathan and Dwight talk about what to do – Nathan is worried about Dwight going after Mara and Mara getting hurt because she’s till Audrey, precious. Dwight is less sure. Duke’s obsessive asking everyone about Jennifer reveals Mara also asked where she was even after finding the lighthouse exploding – suggesting there’s more than one door to Dry Ice World.

They need info. It’s time for the Teagues to be obstructive and vague again! Alas, Dave is unconscious in hospital and Vince knows little and Cabot’s journal with its own ambiguous hints is missing (probably hidden by Dave). While in the hospital, a member of the Guard (freaky Trouble people with rather extreme attitudes) warns Dwight everyone’s getting antsy especially since Vince (the head of the Guard) isn’t talking. Dwight’s also having to deal with the new sewing Trouble while Duke obsessed with Jennifer and Nathan obsesses over Mara. Which now includes a guy whose eyes and mouth were sewn up while he was driving (and caused him to crash).

Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Super Villain by Richard Roberts

Penny Ackk, daughter of super heroes Brian Akk and The Audit has been desperate for her super powers to finally kick in – and when they did they came in with a vengeance!

Of course, her dad thinks it’ll be years before they fully develop. So keeping them secret and then springing them on him as a surprise sounds likes a great idea. Until a little problem at the school science fair means she and her best friends kind of become Super Villains.

Ooops

And trying to change sides just digs them deeper in the villain put. And maintaining a secret identity when your parents are super geniuses isn’t easy anyway

But one thing no-one expected was how good they’d be at supervillainy – or how much fun it is!

This book is so much fun! I can’t remember the last time I had so much amazing fun reading a book! I literally spent my entire time reading this book with a big, silly grim on my face, broken only when I had to laugh.

It’s campy, it’s a little silly, but it’s so incredibly fun! Super heroes and super villains duking it out in the street – oh not your dark and gritty super villains who have become so popular. Far less stylish than that! These are fun super villains and super heroes – with the super heroes (perhaps) taking things pretty seriously but recognising limits and the villains are just enjoying themselves immensely. Yes, sometimes a villain takes it too far – but then their fellow villains will quietly feed them to the more extreme heroes (and then they “accidentally don’t survive a fight”). I love this sense of everyone having fun so long as everyone knows the rules, kind of, even though no-one’s ever going to expressly state it.

But, hey, there are RULES. Like you totally don’t hit people’s families or their secret lairs. That would be cheating!

I love the fact that even though they are supervillains they cling to the hope they can change sides whenever they find a suitably dramatic moment. And yes, of course it has to be dramatic – how else are they going to make sure they have an awesome backstory? Switching sides from evil to good can make for an awesome origin story, they just need the right moment. Lucyfar changes sides on a completely random basis! (Perhaps best summed up with, when they betray some fellow villains they meet a response of “you kids are awesome!”)

Did I mention it was so much fun?

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 22: Son of Man

Stephen is attacking Ultra to free his father and stop humanity dying, but not alone because Jedikiah has gone as well, according to John. Irene says the human body eventually rejects Tomorrow People powers (and yes, Jedikiah did steal Irene’s powers. He stole her genes. No it doesn’t make sense of course it doesn’t make sense this is The Tomorrow People) so Jedikiah clearly took hers not to fulfil his dreams but out of noble sacrifice or some crap.

It also seems that Jedikiah can kill with his powers – as he, at least, severely injures one guard – before having to pick up a gun when he runs out of juice. Of course now he’s human he can’t go near ther machine without dying so we have a dramatic angst moment when Roger urges Jedikiah to shoot him to stop the machine. Drama drama angst, sorry the ridiculous storylines have left me caring so little about these characters.

Stephen arrives, rather late, and runs through the trail of carnage Jedikiah left in his wake and, of course, arrives just in time to see Jedikiah shoot Roger and the machine power down. If you’d just been 3 minutes sooner Stephen.

While they’re all tragic and dramatic, the Founder arrives all evil like because the machine is still working – it’s already got its Roger stuff (don’t ask, it’s Tomorrow People). The Founder and his goons kind of just stand and watch while Roger gives his son an empowerment speech then they let him teleport away. The Founder also wants to be dramatic in killing Jedikiah and Roger too, so he gives them chance to teleport out as well. Perhaps he should quit on the dramatic pauses?

Roger teleports them to a flat somewhere where he dies in Jedikiah’s arms.

Stephen staggers back to the Tomorrow People HQ grieving, telling Cara how he can stop time but he was too late (oh dear gods, did this show just lamp shade its awful inability to keep the powers coherent over a character’s death?). Dramatic grieving Stephen grabs a gun and asks John to take him to the facility where John was experimented on until he learned how to kill – taking the info from John’s mind. Cara asks why he’s doing this and Stephen says “revenge”. Which should have been fairly obvious.

Cara runs through the machine with Tim and this super computer basically has the answer “humans should get far away.” Useful Tim, really useful. Cara wants John to run though he points out without a car, passport or the ability to teleport it’s not like he can. He’s having trouble adapting to humanity but they seem to drag their relationship up again with Cara promising to get to him as soon as she’s stopped the machine. Well at least she has decent priorities.

John goes to Jed’s flat for money and he and Jed have a “awww let’s pretend we have a father/son relationship and forget about all the torture and killing” moment.

Stephen goes to the lab where he finds the Founder is mass producing turn-paranormals-into-killers drug which is ominous but kind of lacking next to the whole apocalypse thing.

Russell with Ultra, is surprised to realise the Founder is evil and now wants him to kidnap Cara. Or he can’t be part of their new genocide future. They end up leading a Paranormal kill squad – Evil Natalie goes ahead to tell Cara she made a “mistake” by becoming evil, of course she’s evil and is just leading the kill squad right to Cara. They knock her down but Russell throws them all against the wall because murder is not part of the deal. Except Roger. And wiping out humanity. But murder bad!

Cara joins Stephen in his easily-found-bedroom Cara tells Stephen how special he is but he won’t save them all by giving up his humanity (um… since killing is something humans can do but paranormals can’t, wouldn’t he be claiming his humanity?). He doesn’t take the drug.

Now Cara has called Stephen special, John goes back to Second-Choice Astrid and all 4 of them meet up. They have 2 hours before the machine explodes and time stops for all humans – and never starts again. Then Russell joins them – Stephen understandably jumps him given the whole father murdering thing and Russell actually has the gall to claim he didn’t know. Russell gives them the plan Roger had – though it required a dozen not 3 (Astrid and John object to being missed out of the plan). The plan involves attacking with someone sneaking in the back (that would be attacking agents who can kill but they can’t because HUMANITY!)

Cara and Russell fight the agents and do really well because the agents keep using guns which are really kind of useless when telekinesis takes out whole scads of people and stops bullets. They’d actually be much better off putting the guns down and just using telekinesis. John shows how you really use a gun – sniping (Astrid tells him there’s someone to shoot – wow, you didn’t even try to make her useful).

Inside Cara and Russell split up for REASONS. Cara gets to confront the Founder while Russell confronts Natalie where he says he simply has to draw the line at genocide (y’know, eventually. Rather belatedly). Natalie is still all “yay genocide!”

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 21: Kill Switch

Ok, only 2 more episodes left. How many more broken characterisations, plot holes, ridiculous storylines and mind numbingly enraging ideas can they fit in 2 episodes?

Don’t answer that

Quick recap of the explosion that killed Hillary (and that the Founder probably teleported away from), a brief flashback from Stephen of him and Hillary together to remind us he cares about her – and then Stephen staggering in the wreckage. He walks into the office – and the Founder survived. Of course he did. He’s just a little singed at the edges. Stephen teleports out.

While Jedikiah goes to the capital to convince his political backer to shut down Ultra because it’s all gone badly wrong. Unfortunately, having this man shut down Ultra means telling him about Ultra in the first place. “Hey I’ve been misappropriating a ton of funds to experiment on super powers now I need you to stop it before they annihilate the human race” is… actually really easy sell when you think about it. Jedikiah starts ranting and the political guy has security drag him from the building.

At Tomorrow People HQ, Stephen tells all – and Roger wants to run so he and Stephen can’t be used to power the super kill-humans weapon, but Marla has no wish to live on the run – they’re killing the Founder, damn it. John returns and Cara goes to him – John has been stripped of his powers. He has a message from the Founder – Cara has to convince him that they have a real truce or he’ll make all the Tomorrow People like John. And John says “your people” not “our people.”

Cara goes to Ultra (because this is the level of intelligence we get on this show) and the Founder offers his deal – Roger for a truce. And if they don’t accept the truce, he will kill them all which he can easily do now because Russell, Natalie and fellow fools have all had that tracer injected. It also has a kill switch, which the Founder demonstrates to random Red Shirt person who tagged along with them. He will kill one per hour until he gets Roger

Aaaargh, my head actually hurts having to try and process how ridiculous stupid this show is – aaaargh, let them all die, they’re all too damn foolish to live!

At HQ Natalie, the damn fool who lead to them all being fitted with chips in the first place, is angry and tries to convince Russell to help her betray Roger (who she regards as less trustworthy than the Founder. The man who fitted her with a kill switch. AAAAARH! Is she going to accept no responsibility for this bullshit at all?!)

Anyway, the plan is to grab Jodie’s body (dead Red Shirt) and bring him back to HQ so genius Irene can solve it. Possibly using Jedikiah except he’s been checked into a mental hospital. Marla goes and rescues him. John, Cara and Stephen go to take Jodie’s body and they leave John to hold the guard/cop at gunpoint while they leave rather than knocking him aside with telekinesis and teleporting out because REASONS. So then Cara has to rescue him by doing what she should have done in the first place because… AAAAAAAAARGH Tomorrow People doesn’t even TRY to make sense!

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 20: A Sort of Homecoming

Tension, tension, recap, recap while everyone gathers around Roger’s inert form and he finally wakes up just as Stephen and Marla are considering he may not wake up. But not only did he wake up but can pull of all the wires and sit up as well. Marla’s an awesome nurse. There’s a happy reunion followed by John’s “oops sorry I killed you” but that’s totally ok because he and Jedikiah manipulated him into it as part of their master plan. Jed has randomly left as well – for some reason (and some how, does he even know how to get in and out of the base without teleportation).

Roger instantly wants fitting on all of the Founder’s plans when Marla speaks up, reminding him that Luca exists (the show often forgets) and before diving into the mission maybe, just maybe, he could spare a couple of minutes for his family.

And Stephen decides to report all the good news to spy Hillary. The Founder is worried because Roger is so uber powerful and even Stephen (a synergist – someone with two paranormal parents) hasn’t matched him. He orders Hillary to bring him in.

Roger gets dressed and prepares to go home but Cara wants her people’s saviour to stay underground with them. But he refuses to give up his family again nor does he appreciate being lectured by someone young enough to be his daughter. Then she orders him to stay and won’t let him leave unless he fights her… seriously. And John steps up – he will fight Roger to keep him prisoner.

And is there any point? Can’t Roger just stop time and win? Anyway they fight and it’s clear John is carrying a lot of guilt, he’s fighting so Roger can hurt him because of the whole shooting thing (speaking of, this is probably really bad for Roger’s bullet wound). Roger wins the right to actually go see his family rather than be Cara’s prisoner. Which causes John to roar and ask “who are we?” uhhh… not his family? John and Cara complain about being abandoned

Because the man wants to see his family, his son, after years of not seeing them? Damn, that’s some epic neediness there.

Roger goes home and acknowledges to Marla that he can’t just step into the lives they’ve built after so long away. She asks him to just “be here”. And Luca arrives – that’s the Luca who has only just learned that super powers exist, that he may have them and that his mother likes to keep massive secrets for no discernible reason but no-one has a minute to explain all this. Probably understandably he runs upstairs.

Stephen tries to talk to him about everything and not going out that night and avoiding everything. Luca thinks this will be far too awkward (since he’s a near stranger to his dad) and the first night of reunion needs some kind of buffer – Astrid is on call! And then Hillary invites herself because that’s totally not awkward.

Awkward dinner derails when Luca finally cracks and finally wants to talk about everything. Roger responds with a speech about how much he loves his family and proposes a toast, lifting all the glasses with telekinesis – y’know just in case Luca wasn’t freaked out enough about the super power thing.

After some convoluted twists people split off into twosomes. Astrid lays an awesome verbal smack down on Hillary about how she better be on the level and how much Stephen needs to trust people at the moment. Outside with Stephen, Roger confirms he can’t stay with them because the Founder will find him – Hillary watches and so does an “extractor team”. But Hillary tells them to hold off (I’m guessing she’s conflicted).

Rogers tracks down Jedikiah to offer forgiveness while Jed is all guilty for not bringing Roger back sooner, Jed admits that he liked being the powerful brother for once. Roger thanks him for looking after his family (Are. You. Serious?!) and Jed warns Roger about going underground because the Founder has already tapped Stephen for the machine. To check up on that they go to Jed’s flat (Roger taunting him all the time, as brother’s do) and use remote access to Ultra’s supercomputer A.I, A.L.I.C.E (an upgrade over TIM with extra flirting). They transfer the files and get out just before agents arrive.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 19: Modus Viviendi

Another episode of Tomorrow People, hang on to your hats and reach for your drinks and leave your intelligence by the door!

Jedikiah breaks into Ultra but can’t reach the super machine of doom because the Founder changed the locks. CURSE HIS CUNNING! Plan B, slamming one’s fist against bullet proof glass until it bleeds, is unsurprisingly ineffective.

The Founder turns this into a propaganda speech for his staff, all of whom seem to have forgotten that he was very much involved in Jedikiah’s “brutal regime”. I think a side-effect of being a Paranormal is to also be very very very naïve. Anyway, he wants the big bad Jedikiah found and brought to him for justice (police, courts? Nahhhh). Stephen warns John about this just in case the Jedikiah manhunt leads to Roger’s dead body. Anyway, Stephen wants to try the new nifty machine again but he can’t until he’s mastered how to stop time – (hey remember he can do that? Because it’s a skill he NEVER USES? Or even tries to use?). The place on the other side can only be occupied with Paranormals and it needs time stopping to get there – oh and the Founder totally dodges the question about whether you can come back or not. Which I think may be an issue.

This means training all of Stephen’s other powers. Which is apparently hard (especially using all 3 at once). There’s also more flirting with Hillary.

John drops in on Jedikiah who is a paranoid mess and keeps pointing his gun at John (honestly Jed, you shoot a paranormal or he uses teleportation and telekinesis to take the gun off you. These threats are silly). He refuses to leave and wants John to help him in his continual vigil over Roger’s body. Jed tries to bond with John, who isn’t buying, so instead, because he fears the Founder’s “weapon”, he tells John that if Ultra find them they need to destroy Roger rather than let him be used.

The Founder drops in on Stephen awkwardly preparing for Hillary’s visit (waaay too many candles) to say he wants a peace summit with the Tomorrow People – which also comes with a huge threat if they’re helping Jed. Stephen takes the offer to Cara who comments on the idea of a peace summit + threat as not being all that peaceful. But, hey, Stephen is all team Founder now for… I’m not even going to say REASONS because that shows this programme far too much respect. There are no reasons here, it just is for complete randomness.

They also discuss the machine, bringing Roger back and his bullet wound and Tim almost spills all the texts Hillary has been sending Stephen. Why is no-one creeped out by his monitoring their texts? Stephjen finally returns home for his date, briefly interrupted by Astrid calling and being quickly got rid of

So Astrid calls Cara because… she wants a friend? They both get together on how terribad that Stephen is sleeping with Hillary and how evil she is and untrustworthy and how they totally have to kidnap Hillary and read her mind.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 18: Smoke and Mirrors

The Founder has taken over Ultra and declares to everyone that they will no longer hunt Paranormals, that they were blessed beings who needed to be part of society and it was all the evil evil evil Jedikiah’s fault. In future new breakouts will be educated and told to behave and released!

I’m impressed – I thought Stephen “undercover” was the most ridiculous attempt at subterfuge on this show, now they’ve topped it! Seriously no-one can possibly believe the Founder here.

Meanwhile John is angsting over having killed Cassie which he rapidly gets over when he makes out with Cara when Stephen interrupts them. AND HE COMPLETELY BELIEVES THE FOUNDER HAS HAD A CHANGE OF HEART

Oh for gods’ sake! Someone get me a bottle of something at least 30 proof, because there’s no way I’m getting through this episode without it.

Anyway, we have a new breakout using his powers to do magic tricks in the street. Hillary takes this to the Founder with Stephen and the Founder is being creepily nice – wanting to be called by his first name and his door is always open – is anyone (except the not very bright Stephen) actually buying this? Stephen then has a little hissy fit at Hillary and now he chooses to be cynical about the Founder when it gives him the chance to get on Hillary’s case – but he was defending the guy to Cara and John. They have a bet on whether the Founder can be trusted or not

And Stephen is ambushed by Jedikiah for a meeting. Jedikiah wants help bringing down the Founder, Stephen point out that Jedikiah was the one with kill squads. He says the Founder plans to kill millions of humans and he needs Stephen’s hardly-ever-used time stopping ability. Stephen isn’t ready to jump to Jed’s team.

Hillary and Stephen go out for a drink and see Monty’s act (hey, anyone remember Stephen is supposed to be 18?) and track down the break out – though Cara (for once making sense) points out they are actually risking the life of a very harmless Paranormal just to test whether the Founder is telling the truth or not (or, more accurately, they’re risking the life of a paranormal to test whether the founder will reveal his evil now or later). Cara and John decide to intercept. So all four of them get to see Monty’s act and Cara insists that she and John sit with Stephen because… because… because forcing socially awkward scenes that could expose the Tomorrow People to an Ultra agent is funsies?

Hillary ambushes the magician after the show, slamming him into a wall (new caring Ultra still includes abductions) – and Cara does the same to her. Hillary and Cara fight. John and Stephen watch until Stephen points out they have to fight or Hillary will realise something’s up. In the end, Cara escapes with the magician.

While Jedikiah visits Stephen’s home - Marla is out, only little brother Luca is at home. Of course, in keeping with ridiculous family habits, no-one has told Luca about anything. And Jedikiah is carrying a gun – because he conspicuously checks it.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 17: End Game

Flashback time – to 30 years ago with a young Jedikiah who is apparently being bullied, and his brother Roger (Stephen’s father) trying to convince him not to play with their dad’s gun. They wrestle over it, which is a really bad idea, and Roger accidentally pulls the trigger – but then uses his powers to stop the bullet hitting Jed (do we need to poke the “no killing” thing and how this kicks in here?)

This is a flashback which is how Jedikiah is explaining how much he loved his brother and dedicated his life to him. Honest. And he’s just protecting him and keeping it allll a secret to protect them from the Founder. Apparently this is all better than what the Founder planned – a machine to amplify his powers

Yeah, I’m going to go with “amplified powers” as being better than “dead”. I’m just saying. But don’t worry, Jedikiah has a plan… seriously is Stephen really going to believe this? How much more proof do we need hat Jedikiah is evil!?

In Tomorrow People’s HQ, the new snarky Tim is still snarky, and Cara wakes from an odd dream/hearing someone telepathically, someone begging for help and a tormentor to stop. She sense a breakout – but it feels odd, like Stephen did.

At Ultra they’re also sensing a weird, faint breakout and the Founder drops in (Jedikiah calls him “Bathory” which is apparently a name he hasn’t used in a long time). The Founder has finally rebuilt a machine that Roger destroyed and he wants to test it on Stephen (the amplifier I assume), Jedikiah waffles and the Founder doesn’t care about family – he experiments on his own synergist daughter (someone with 2 paranormal parents) and reveals that Stephen is one too, which is news to Jedikiah. Hah, of course it was, because she’s bizarrely kept it hidden from everyone to such a degree I’m sure the writers just decided to change the planned plot randomly. Cassie is unsuitable for the machine for REASONS and the Founder wishes they had Roger around while trying to read Jedikiah’s mind; Jedikiah happily stabs himself in the hand to block any reaction or thoughts.

When he’s gone, Stephen enters and they discuss Jedikiah’s secret plan – he wants to kill the Founder. Which means getting John to do it – part of Jedikiah’s long running master plan. Stephen goes to John with this who is very wisely questioning the whole “hey let’s trust Jedikiah and kill someone at his say so!” With the addition of John not wanting to be a murderer and, hey, being a killer goes against everything the Tomorrow People are on a biological level, he says no. Stephen pouts away.

Stephen returns to Jedikiah to report that John won’t be his killbot so they have to get to the Founder another way which is hard because early breakouts are super paranoid. They hit on using his daughter (Jedikiah tells Stephen she was subject to the experiments he would have been but of course Jedikiah’s not going to provide any actual details). Of course getting her out of the citadel could be done at Jedikiah’s orders – but said orders would also expose him so they really need to succeed and need John to do so

Flashback to the younger Jed and Roger experimenting with Roger’s powers and bickering like true brothers. And it’s Jedikiah who suggests they partner with the Founder and his greater resources.

Present and Stephen rescues Cassie – though she warns him that he’s “next on his list”.

The Tomorrow People: Season 1, Episode 16: Superhero

A paranormal woman in leather, a mask and a hood (discreet she isn’t) follows a man down the road to his house where they fight. The man’s an ordinary human and lasts a few seconds before staying down and giving the woman chance to find another woman, bound and gagged, in the man’s cupboard

A paranormal super-hero?

To john and Cara who are getting it on. No really, I think they’re supposed to be having sex – not just making out and not cut away. Why supposed to be? Because this is the CW and they’re both clearly wearing underwear (there’s not even an attempt to hide it)… but there’s definite underwear grinding going on. In the aftermath (at some point clothes were removed) Cara is unsure about what this means for their working relationship but John assures her he respects her authority.

Y’know, even if he’s being honest there, that’s pretty terrible, because he didn’t respect it before (and, to be fair, her decision making didn’t deserve much respect) but now he respects it because of orgasms?

To the HQ where the convenient shiny device belonging to Stephen’s dad is confirmed to be a key and it’s biologically linked to Roger (Stephen’s dad) which is proof that Roger’s body is out there because REASONS. He wants to read Jedikiah’s mind, Cara thinks they’ve played this game before and whatever Stephen wants, he’s doing it alone.

So he goes out drinking with Russell (aren’t they supposed to be 16 or 17? Are we not even pretending they’re kids any more?) Though Russell is right, there is no way Stephen can say “I’m not interested in talking about girls, I’m interested in my dad’s body” and it not sound wrong. So very very wrong. Stephen’s night is interrupted by a call from Ultra about the new breakout, the superhero who apparently leaves a rose behind.

This sends Russell into flashback mode – 4 years ago when Russell was partying and gambling in a casino, cheating with his powers and a woman who uses her own powers to stop Russell winning – so he doesn’t get dragged downstairs by a gang of unsympathetic guys who don’t appreciate such “luck” (that means Russell didn’t learn his lesson either now or when his father suffered because of his gambling. Character growth? Who needs that?).

Anyway, Ultra wants to kill the superhero because they’re evil and Stephen goes in to interview a conspiracy theorist with Hillary. Who turns out knowing nothing – I think this scene is here to show how dangerous Hillary is because she threatens people but considering they’re both mind readers it just seems so ridiculous. Why do you interrogate people, telepaths, whyyyy?

At the HQ John is getting in some nice gratuitous shirtlessness and Morgan wants to help Stephen get in Jedikiah’s head because she knows him and is sure it’ll work. And it’s totally not because she wants to see her boyfriend or get out of the base and be able to come back without Cara shutting the door on her behind. Honest.

Stephen’s research brings up that Russell and the super hero, Talia, knew each other and Russell confesses all – and by all, basically that they hit casinos and have unfinished business. So less all and more “nothing”. But the rose she leaves behind is rare and special and Tim knows where it can be found

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 15: The Enemy of my Enemy

Ultra raided by an angry Paranormal who causes a bit of chaos before being tased and dropped. It’s Julian. Well that was productive.

And John is still staying at Steven’s and being a surprisingly good cook; in between praising his food and mocking the idea of a man cooking for another man (y’know jokes like that are always going to be shaky, but are only worse on a show that hasn’t decided to acknowledge GBLT people exist) Steven wants John and Cara back together, working together etc etc.

Which leads to Charlotte talking to both John and Cara telepathically with a whole lot of wanting John back. Cara comes up with the bizarre non-sequiter “you can’t bring someone in unless they’re ready.” Um… I don’t think John is “not ready” to join a group he appeared to have founded

It doesn’t have to make sense because it’s a clumsy lead in for a flashback to 3 years ago when Cara and John first met on the subway and he stopped her stealing his watch and confronted her about her powers and telling her about The Tomorrow People.

Meanwhile, Steven visits Astrid (she has been allowed out of the plot box!) who doesn’t really believe all his assurances that all is safe and quickly gets rid of him.

And at Ultra it seems Julian has effectively turned himself in so he can offer a deal to Jedikiah to get Cara. There all the plot lines have been set up onwards to some plot please.

Cara and Russell are planning a supply run (and telling Charlotte she can’t come) when Steven passes on the news about Julian being captured – but not the deal. Back to Julian who sells why he will do a much better job of finding the Tomorrow People (and he calls Cara a “shifty little minx” which I can’t even begin to grasp – did we teleport back to the 1920s?), he’s sure he can do it because he taught Cara everything she knows, apparently. Jedikiah responds by having a chip injected up his nose. It’s a bomb – he brings in Cara et al on time or it blows up.

One of these days people are going to realise that making deals with Jedikiah is a bad idea and that the bad guy is, y’know, a bad guy.

Astrid calls Steven on Skype – and gets a shirtless John instead, but she has issues to talk out and he’s willing to listen – and come over so she can talk to him since she’s having problems going out after her experiences. (John teleports over for her convenience and a reminder that she’s silly because the bad guys can get her anywhere! No, not really but that’s only because Tomorrow People doesn’t think these things through) She talks through her fears – and fears of being around Steven – and John plans to be reassuring, comforting and help…

…and lead into another flashback with a nervous Cara – who said no to John’s kind offer of joining him since she’d already been burned with Julian

In the present Steven learns that Julian is being used for nefarious purposes. Julian finds Cara, Russell and the resupply team and his Ultra agents restrain everyone but Cara. Steven teleports in to free Russell and the others, while Cara is ambushed, beaten and throttled by Julian until Steven throws a can at his head. Cara escapes along with Russell and co and Steven pretends to have been called in for backup as an Ultra agent (thankfully, Ultra keeps no log of such requests because REASONS, but then, it’s not like Steven’s cover-agent status isn’t known to everyone).

John helps Astrid confront her fears by jumping out of a moving train and teleporting them both. This may be why John did not take up a career as a therapist. Of course this leads to “john talk to Cara” because that’s the not-subtle theme of the episode

Speaking of, Cara and Russell come home to find that Charlotte is missing, looking for John. She’s decided to go wandering saying John’s name aloud rather than telepathically contacting him for REASONS! And her presence is detected by Julian who decides to check it out – after tranqing Steven to be extra sure the double agent doesn’t screw things up. Falling unconscious, Steven sends a warning to John just as Charlotte is cuffed and captured.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 14: Brother's Keeper

In the aftermath of the drive by at the sandwich shop, Marla (quite possibly the worst parent in the world) leaps into action – teleporting him and hitting her secret stash of cash after having Stephen drop Astrid and her dad off at the bus stop. She tells him to pack while he would rather talk because HUGE BIG REVELATION of the secret she has been keeping for NO DAMN REASON. She’s busy but the best she can manage is “it’s the only way I knew how to help.” She tries to get him to run saying, as his mother, she protects him but Stephen is hella pissed at the severely awful job she’s done so far.

When Jedikiah and some gun toting minions burst in – apparently to help (he, like everyone else in the world, doesn’t know about Marla). He wants some time alone with Stephen which she allows after she and Stephen have a brief, telepathic conversation.

Alone, Jedikiah assures Stephen it was the Founder who ordered the hit on Astrid and Jedikiah is totally the good one. Now enough of these silly making deals with the Founder, come back to Jed and all will be forgiven. Stephen’s not buying that because of the whole Jedikiah ordering his dad’s death – but Jedikiah wants him to know the truth and offers him access to his mind.

Where we see that Jedikiah and Roger clearly had a close relationship. But they still have a difference of opinion – Jedikiah, with a very very very very sketchy view of evolution, believes that paranormals have evolved to replace his species (normal humans) so humans simply have to kill them – and to do that he has to ally with the Founder for REASONS. Roger would rather everyone not kill each other and he opposes the Founder – which worries Jedikiah because the Founder will force him to go after Roger and his family. This is your ally to preserve your species?

Back to reality and he tells Stephen he tried to warn Roger. That’s his excuse. And he doesn’t think they can run and avoid the Founder so they should all stay, Stephen keep working for Ultra and they can all rely on Jedikiah to keep them safe. Stephen… agrees.

Oh for the love of sense – someone get me a drink, there’s no way I’m getting through this episode sober.

Away from the sucking void where intelligence should be, we have some plot – a man called Alexis appears to be in police protection when a paranormal knocks out two of his guards then starts garrotting him.

Alas, the void drags us back – Stephen drops in on The Tomorrow People HQ and isn’t amused to see, in a time when he’s facing death threats and drive by shootings, Cara’s kicked John out for Refusing to Respect Her Authoritay! Stephen goes out and finds a rather drunk John to take home to crash – much to Marla’s surprise (I would say inviting people home without informing parents is an arsehole move, but after what Marla’s pulled, Stephen has the Everest of moral high grounds to perch upon).

Which is basically what he tells her – she lost the right to make decisions when she spent a year drugging him. She protests that she protects them and he hits back that’s what he’s been doing for months. She agrees to one night before they leave but she doesn’t buy the idea that his dad is going to save them all (does she even know he’s dead?)

Next day it’s back to work with Jedikiah and investigating Alexi’s murder (well, trying to find the Paranormal anyway), they’re watched by a pouty Cara who goes back to base to tell Russell about a paranormal who can apparently kill which is supposedly impossible (barring a few exceptions who she Does Not Want To Talk About).

Stephen goes home to check with John about paranormals who can kill (since John is one of them) and John  takes a second to try and get Stephen to forgive his mother. Um… no. Really. John is confident that all of his fellow classmates are dead, but that doesn’t mean Jedikiah hasn’t started up the program again without telling anyone.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 13: Things Fall Apart

A very powerful paranormal robs a bank – when the police arrives she teleports their cars away – and teleports the billets out of their guns, before sending everyone flying with telekinesis and engraving “hi dad” on the wall.

Teleportation just became 900% cooler.

And Stephen wakes up – apparently a dream (he’s getting precognition now? Why bother, he doesn’t use the special woo-woo he already has)

He jumps out of bed – but is grabbed by his mum on the way out – she’s worried about Astrid’s disappearance and isn’t a big fan of the “she’ll be home soon, trust me” response.

At Tomorrow People HQ, John rather pathetically fails to clean himself which he should be able to do but it gives Cara an excuse to sponge him down – which she’s quite quite happy to do. Which leads to talking and kissing

Stephen barges his way into Jedikiah’s office, outrages that Ultra would send a kill squad after Astrid (are we going to have the “Ultra is evil” reminder again?). After Jedikiah confirms that, yes, they’re evil and yes, they will kill Astrid, Stephen quits.

…he’s really having a problem with the whole “Ultra are evil” thing isn’t he?

Astrid, meanwhile, is getting antsy and angry that she can’t call her father who is worried sick; she appeals to Cara the only one who can let her contact the outside world but for both her safety and her dad’s safety, Cara refuses. After Astrid storms off, Stephen arrives to report him quitting Ultra (so can you get my family to safety… no? Ok then still not convinced on the whole Ultra=evil then) and that he dream possessed a new paranormal break out. Which may mean he has a super-Cara-like connection to her (and extra emphasis on the femaleness)

Yes, the love triangle is back on.

At ultra the Jedikiah worries about the new breakout while the Founder questions why Stephen was even allowed to quit – that whole evil organisation thing. On to the Founder tracking Stephen down and Stephen deciding to avoid him by going down a deserted alleyway – because he forgot about teleportation, I guess? Anyway he has a deal for Stephen: bring in Cassandra (the new breakout) and Astrid will be totally fine. Apparently Cassandra is the Founder’s daughter (hence the “hi dad” graffiti)

Someone remind Stephen he’s dealing with an evil organisation.

At Tomorrow People HQ everyone looks at the footage and is suitably impressed by Cassandra’s power and John drops in that she’s probably a Synergist – a paranormal who had 2 paranormal parents and, as such, is mega powerful. John makes a token “hey this is a really bad idea” but now it’s lampshaded they can all get on with it.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 12: Sitting Ducks

Astrid attends an interview to a music school and the three interviewers shoot her

Well that was a surprise – so let’s move 48 hours earlier.

Have I mentioned before how much I loathe it when shows do this? I have? Well let me mention it again! CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER PLEASE! There is no reason to give away part of what is going to happen in the episode at the beginning of said episode. It’s annoying

So the real start of the episode is at Ultra with Hillary and Stephen sparring and Hillary laying down the reality – Stephen can take the training casually because the competition is rigged so he can win. The whole work as a team thing is a dream. She also asks evil Jedikiah what happens if a paranormal exposes their power to a human (do I even have to say what happens to them and the human?) because, of course, she’s seen Stephen use his powers around Astrid because Stephen forgot about the whole undercover thing since the story required him to (what, it’s one of the least shaky things about this shows storyline consistency).

Stephen goes home all paranoid but Astrid assures him she told no-one about his powers (um, you used them in public Stephen, remember?) and he has another surprise – his mother, Marla’s, new boyfriend Peter (he who is probably evil) is taking them all camping. Camping? Ugh, this man is definitely evil. Marla didn’t tell Stephen because she didn’t think he’d want to go – but Stephen wants to go to play watchdog for Marla and Luca.

Stephen runs to Tomorrow People HQ to ask for help- - he needs someone to watch Astrid while he is being paranoid about Peter – Cara et al do think that Stephen may be overreacting a little about Peter (which I find… bemusing. How likely is it that Marla would, coincidentally, date a Paranormal? Unless they think Stephen is wrong) especially since if he is paranormal, Peter can’t kill and if he does cause trouble, Stephen can summon help. Tim’s ability to check people’s browsing history concerns Russell though.

After Cara also dismisses his concern over Astrid (wow, way to help your undercover agent actually stay undercover; how could you let his petty concerns take away Tomorrow people from their busy agenda of… skulking and hiding), John agrees to keep an eye on her since he has seen what Ultra does to humans who know the big secret

Does that sound like flashback bait to you? Why yes it is! 14 years ago, young John showed his powers to a kind comic book seller. Now we’re going to have half a dozen flashbacks or more before this Tony’s inevitable death to show us the Object Lesson.

Hillary tattles on Stephen to Jedikiah, not only telling him about Astrid but showing him buried CCTV footage that showed Astrid at the scene of one of their missions. Later she pushes Jedikiah about it, demanding to know what’s happening and if Astrid will be killed – and Jedikiah gets irritated at her presumption – and for being happy at a human being killed, after all Jedikiah’s Ultra exists (or pretends to exist) to protect  humanity from Paranormals and serve them, having a Paranormal be gleeful about the death of a human does not amuse Jedikiah.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 11: Rumble

Opening flashback – to 6 years ago. A young Cara, on the streets, uses her telekinesis to steal and apple – and then has to run from Ultra before being rescued by 2 other paranormals – Julian and Nellie.

To the present and Stephen talks about his mother’s new boyfriend with Astrid (after Luca passes on the info – and yes, Astrid has been allowed out of the plot box). Particularly how he is capable of blocking Stephen’s telepathy meaning he’s a paranormal – and powerful.

At Tomorrow People HQ, Cara is having another leadership crisis because she fears everyone’s not listening to her (y’know, Cara as leader will get real old real fast if she spends it all whimpering) when the newly rescued Charlotte starts broadcasting telepathic horrible noise in her nightmare. John apparently did the same thing during his breakout. John helpfully comforts her through it while Cara looks on at a loss, not being imprisoned by Ultra, she can’t imagine what Charlotte has gone through.

In Ultra we get our weekly reminder that Ultra is evil as Stephen and other young paranormal candidates (yes there’s more) watch one of their fellows be de-powered. Jedikiah reminds them that he hates them all and would happily destroy any of them. I would say the reminder is unnecessary but Stephen does seem to regularly forget. To not be destroyed they need to impress – which means finding the breakout Julian Masters (yes the Julian from the beginning) who apparently recruits young paranormals to his criminal gang.

Cut to Julian stealing from someone – and then beating them until the mojo that stops Paranormals killing kicks in (which he calls “sweet music”).

Stephen passes this all on to Cara, Russell and John. Stephen considers bring Julian in as a way to solidify himself with Ultra but Cara nixes the whole thing since she knows Julian. Stephen is not impressed by Cara’s unwillingness to do anything even with the inside knowledge they have and tries to appeal to John – John makes it clear it’s Cara’s decision but adds that it’d be better for everyone if Julian weren’t an issue.

Flashback to young Cara, Nellie being kind while Julian is determined that Cara be useful – and with lots of rhetoric about superior species, being tough and finding the “killer” inside, much to Nellie’s disapproval.

To the present and they meet with Julian (who accuses Cara of copying Nellie’s style). Julian rants and raves like a proper villain – mocking them for hiding, again pushing the “we’re superior” line with an added extra of being at war with humanity. He insults Cara as a “weak jelly spined ineffectual skank” and his whole army teleports in.

Hey, I’d let him get on with fighting Ultra. He may actually achieve something or at least get out of their hair. Cara has the same plan – well, no, she just wants to avoid him and hope – but she does set a tale on him (Russell – because he convinced her not to go herself).

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 10: The Citadel

Stephen meets his dad in limbo and gets some ominous, vague warnings about the Founder – he’s dangerous to everyone! For Reasons! Stephen wants his dad to come back without making the logical leap that he probably needs a body to come back to (the one with a bullet hole in it) and his dad tells him to find Simon Plane.

Is this going to be a thing? Go to limbo, find his dad and get a random name to find? Because we already did this with Thanatos.

Stephen wakes up, he’s alive (I’m sure we’re all so relieved to hear this) and fills everyone in on his brain’s oxygen-deprived hallucinations. I mean, visions in limbo. To confirm that Stephen wasn’t hallucinating, Cara checks his memory… to see if he can remember his hallucinations? Actually it seems he can’t. Except he can remember, but Cara can’t read the memory of hallucinations because they might not be real, despite his memory and…

…I’m not even going to try and make sense of this ridiculousness. She can’t read his hallucination memories for REASONS.

Cara thinks that means they can’t be real, but John who is suddenly all Team Stephen possibly due to guilt/need for redemption or simply because if daddy isn’t dead then he hasn’t epicly screwed them and been lying for a several years, wants to give the benefit of the doubt. Besides it’s not like they have anything better to do.

Tim, their convenient super-computers, notes Simon Plame was one of the first breakouts who hasn’t been heard of since Stephen’s father disappeared (anything you want to confess there, John?) and Stephen leaves in a huff when Cara suggests that maybe his dad is dead.

I think Stephen hangs around rooms waiting for someone to say something he doesn’t like so he can leave in a dramatic huff. If they didn’t he’d be incapable of leaving.

Stephen goes home to find his mother has a new boyfriend (place bets now – who thinks the new boyfriend is a) the Founder or b) some other nefarious evil person?) and, of course, Stephen’s kind of pouty because their dad could come back and mum must keep everything on ice until then. Even little brother Luca recognises that bullshit for what it is.

At the HQ Cara and John squabble over giving Stephen false hope; she accurately skewering that he’s using Stephen’s hope as some form of forgiveness (or at least ducking blame). John decides to go to the next absolution step – tell everyone the truth. Cara thinks that’s a pretty huge disaster to the Tomorrow People.

To an Ultra facility where captured paranormals are held in cells and experimented upon – and one inmate has cut off his own hand to stop them using the power dampening cuffs on him – and to give his severed hand to his fellow to use as a fake hand for his cuffs – so when he’s released he isn’t cuffed. Nice trick if you’re really desperate – Errol teleports and is free (at least, that’s what the sad, floating girl calls him)