Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Preacher, Season 3, Episode 3: Gonna Hurt

Tulip is back to kicking arse of just about everyone on general principles. Especially since she charges into New Orleans to the Grail headquarters there prepared to kill everyone super dead only to find the place abandoned.

She is not amused

On the way back she is stopped by god

Yes god, in his dog fetish suit who also looks exactly like the guy the Grail got to play god - and it all works because they have literally god there to say “I planned it that way”. Speaking of, he thanks Tulip - even though she screwed up and her actions ended up with Jesse’s soul in the Grail’s hands. Because god planned it that way - because that’s the cost of free will. Some people do good things and some people - like Tulip with the O’Hare curse, just screw up because it’s their “nature.” After that attempt to destroy her entirely he dumps the fact he’s totally a loving god on her

There were two ways this could go - either Tulip could fall apart at such a devastating take down from god. Or she can go full Tulip

Thankfully it’s the second and she begins chewing god out, declaring there is no plan and he’s basically screwing around and how he can basically fuck himself. Even when he throws her against a car she still isn’t intimidated or backing down.

This is the Tulip I know and love - willing to kick god’s arse if she has to.

Back at manor Angel, Tulip tells everything to Jesse while they’re in bed together and he has a moment of being all petulant because god didn’t talk to him but Tulip suggests god may be afraid of Genesis. Also that he should be afraid of her.

Another person she thinks should be afraid of her is Marie L’Angel - and it says a lot that Jesse hearing that Tulip may be going after his grandmother makes him far far more worried than the idea of her going after god.

Adding more stress to Jesse is Cassidy. While TC is getting closer to Cassidy he notes that despite the bullet wound and all the many many many wounds he recounts, Cassidy is surprisingly lacking in scars. Jesse has a really good moment of bonding with Cass and they talk about being best friends. This is awesome and just what I desperately needed to see to put this love triangle to rest….

Sadly, no. Because when Jesse suggests that Cass leave because if the voodoo people learn he’s a vampire then he’s in serious trouble. But Cass thinks this is just a ploy to get him away from Tulip and is also kind of offended when Jesse refers to him as a monster.

This ends with Jesse stabbing Cassidy to hide the fact that he’s healed his bullet wound. He also steals Cassidy’s blood supply which doesn’t mend any bridges.

When not being vexed by his friends, Jesse has his family to fall back on - because Grandma has him doing his old job - recruiting new souls to make deals with her. This involves taking him to 12 step meetings to offer them an easy way to kick their addictions - except it doesn’t go so well because Madame Boyd, their big rivals, have kind of sewn up the whole faustian bargain thing. People do ask if he’s opening the Tombs or not. He insists that no, he isn’t.

Except when he goes back to insist on this to his Granny, granny makes it clear he does what she tells him so he can quit this whole saying no thing

He also makes a desperate attempt to recruit Jody. That doesn’t go well.

Tulip does some snooping of granny’s home and finds her big stash of blood stained napkins. By manipulating TC (I am not dwelling on how because it involves him being naked and a lizard) she learns that these are all basically that the napkins are contracts. And you can’t just destroy the contract to settle the debt which was Tulip’s plan. Breaking the contract breaks the person who signed it… which is not ideal.

So Tulip turns to the next expert - the Boyds, with a fake story about needing to get her boyfriend free from a contact. Her fake story is quickly seen through and lots of violence follows before she finds Madam Boyd - a much younger woman than expected (though she has a corpse to have the proper elderly mysticalness). This is definitely not going to end well.

Speaking of, Cassidy decides to ask Grandma why if she’s such a powerful healer she’s still infirm and in a wheel chair. Also he wants her love spell

This will also not end well.

Before that doesn’t end well, he also decides to eat one of the chickens - and is caught and revealed to be a vampire. Which means Jody and TC want to hang him up and wait for the sun to burn him to death

Jesse intervenes - by pretending not to care but having a better plan. Opening the Tombs

Which are apparently a fighting ring between the captured souls who made an unfortunate deal with grandma. The opening of the Tombs is popular enough to attract the people who were scorning them for Madame Boyd

And the first combatants is the paedophile science teacher… and Cassidy

I say it again, this will not end well.