Monday, January 28, 2019

Legacies: Season 1, Episode 8: Maybe I Should Start from the End

Legacies is back

Yay. Let me contain my joy.

And we begin with some silly time line nonsense I’m not even going to give credit to because I hate it. Tell stories in chronological order! Unless you have time travel there’s no reason to show me what happens tomorrow before you show me what happened yesterday.

So instead Hope has received a message on her magical bracelet that Landon is in danger so she needs to head out to rescue him. This involves trying to leave in the middle of the night where she is caught by Alaric because apparently she knows no stealth spells or anything

She also can’t lie. Nor does she think to put Alaric to sleep or anything. He insists on coming with her to rescue Landon but she’s rightfully wary because after all, why? Why bother with Alaric?

Actually he can drive. Hope cannot. Well done Alaric, you can be a chauffeur. We should get you a hat. This is the first useful thing that Alaric has done since this series began. He also quizzes her on the way over to remind us he’s a teacher while Hope asks if he’s going to quiz his own actual daughters.

Hah, don’t you not-even-remotely-love how Legacies continually shows how much Alaric cares for Hope more than his own daughters and how those daughters clearly are hurt by this?

Now Landon has found his mother, she runs a coffee shop and he keeps buying coffee until he builds up enough courage to say “hey you’re my mother.”

This causes him to have a nice reunion with her, spelling out his who quite sad life and it all looking touching - until she drugs him, ties him up and threatens to burn him with an iron. She doesn’t believe he’s her son, she thinks he has nefarious purposes and when an evil goo monster arrives she’s pretty convinced this is proof of this (she cuts off the monster’s head with a sword).

Landon breaks and tells her all the supernatural stuff which... she believes. Now she’s more convinced that he is actually her son and clearly has experience with the woo-woo. And that they’re being chased - time to go on the run. And she clearly has some pretty supreme skills.

They’re also being chased by an evil organisation -Alaric recognises this because a suspicious man is suspiciously covering their tracks by pretending to fix a gas leak

I have no idea why we’re supposed to be suspicious about this but Alaric needs some point, after all.

They catch up with Landon and Saleh and Saleh points a gun at them which doesn’t work so well because Hope is a witch and just uses magic to take the gun off her. Time for everyone to have a catch up.

First of all Saleh is super super unwilling to talk about Malivore but is slowly coaxed into revealing it. She was a soldier, she left the army and joined a secret (possibly government?) organisation which goes out and captures monsters and throws them into Malivore - a tar filled portal at their facility which does all the bad stuff we know about: causing isolation, darkness and for you to be forgotten. We know this

And I still think it’s bizarre that any organisation decided to throw monsters in a tar pit yet for some reason never once felt the need to throw Klaus or any of the Original family into Malivore

When she went snooping the organisation she worked for dropped her in as well… so she was forgotten

Thankfully and mysteriously Malivore spat her out 2 years later and she was able to avoid the org that she worked for because they suffered from Malivore indiced amnesia so she could live a quiet life. Including hiding from her son

Which she talks about privately with Alaric later while Hope and Landon bond and get it on. Because she lied about Landon’s father -he wasn’t a random hook up. She went into Malivore not pregnant and came out pregnant. Landon is a weird Malivore good baby.

I think this means we need to keep him away from Hope if nothing else because Super Special Triad Witch/werewolf/vampire who has a child with Malivore Goo man risks producing an even more Super Special Chosen One. And the Plecverse already has played that storyline to death

And I have to be amused that everyone believes everyone else’s weird stories because they’re just all that messed up

Alaric also walks in on Landon and Hope about to have sex and for one positive thing I have to say he manages to be sex positive and non-shamy while at the same time really really really not wanting to see that

Saleh manages to leave despite Hope confronting her by drugging Hope with her handy-dandy magic dart gun (PSA: don’t dart people folks, anaesthetics that are not carefully measured are super super risky and dangerous especially if they’re super fast acting. Anaesthesiologists exist for a reason!)

Saleh intends to go to Malivore and take another dip to… protect Landon? The logic is spotty -but basically if they don’t remember her they won’t remember everything she has revealed, she won’t be around to reveal it again so, I guess, they’re protected from the knowledge of Malivore the portal et al

Not totally unsound reasoning - except they already know about Malivore and cutting off one lead, Landon’s mother, doesn’t mean they’re not going to keep looking

So while Landon is freaking out that his mother has abandoned him again oh and that he’s the son of Malivore goo he discovers he’s also stolen his mother’s urn. This looks like another of the three Malivore keys which he is subconsciously compelled to collect, though now everyone believes he didn’t mean to. It also means monsters appear - and they’re attacked by a fish man.

Hope has a plan - they let the fish man have the urn then follow it back to Malivore. Which is… not exactly a bad plan even if it’s super risky? But they go with that - except it turns out the Malivore location is booby trapped and a bomb kills fish man - and knocks the three unconscious.

I would assume the sinister guards behind Malivore would have checked out this perimeter breach but Selah rampages through them, killing or incapacitating a few guards before becoming injured… but eventually making it to Malivore and jumping in.

When Hope et al wake up from the bomb, Selah is gone and they no longer remember her… entirely. They leave but have some underlying changed minds even if they don’t remember why they changed them: Alaric lets Landon back in the school for one.

At least that’s Alaric and Landon… Hope remembers everything and tells Alaric… but not Landon? I’m assuming special triad-ness is why Hope is Malivore proof. I actually hope it is because it would explain why the Original Vampires were never Malivored.

At the sinister labs, a sinister boss and sinister tech find someone has jumped in Malivore but naturally realise it will be impossible to find out who. But they find the baby picture of Landon and his mother - when sinister boss sees the picture he kicks the sinister tech in Malivore as well

I presume there’s a motive for this and not just that sinister bad guys need to sacrifice a certain percentage of minions for sinister creds