Wynonna and Charlie are still doing their casual stress release thing in a fire engine (which is just awkward) while Nicole campaigns for support to become the new sheriff.
Nedry is all very very supportive of this, happy to retire and snark (Jeremy’s also there and Waverley makes a quip about whether he lives there and this is just Wynonna Earp kind of lampshading that they’ve done so little with Jeremy he doesn’t even have a home) as he sets Nicole and Wynonna together clearing out his weird cupboard of weirdness. Any potential magical artefacts which he’d have trouble explaining he’s stuffed in the cupboard
Wynonna quickly derides this as make work to try and make them work together because Wynonna and Nicole don’t always get on. This has always been kind of bubbling but this episode lays it out: Nicole likes order and rules. Especially since she’s the sheriff which kind of needs some level of rules and orders and planning. While Wynonna likes to wing it, burn it all down and kind of get through it. They clash a lot and eventually their squabbling breaks some of the artefacts
We know that’s a bad idea.
Nedry also tells Nicole that she needs to get the approval of Bunny Loblaw, who controls the city council. And she is a terrible terrible person.
She visits Nicole, is clearly homophobic (and points to the show for knowing that homophobes are often smart enough not to yell slurs but do like their dog whistles: like praising Wynonna for being a “straight shooter”) and equally clearly doesn’t like that Nicole isn’t from Purgatory. She’s also allergic to cats and even thinking of backing Wynonna for Sheriff. She makes one valid complaint - she didn’t like that Nedry lied to her about the supernatural shenanigans in the city and kept her in the dark. She wants to be told
While Wynonna and Nicole bicker away (Wynonna doesn’t actually want to be sheriff but she takes issue with Nicole so passionately insisting how utterly terrible Wynonna would be as a sheriff. I mean, it’s not wrong but it is mean), Bunny sees a gnome and meets Nicole’s cat, Calamity Jane (this is an AWESOME name for a cat and I want to get a cat just so I can call her this!) which is unfortunate as she has a pet allergy and promptly passes out
There follows one of the most hilarious exchanges there has ever been on this show. And this is Wynonna Earp which has some of the biplays ever in the genre. This show is the master of snark and this set a new level
From “Balls, Bunny’s dead”. To Wynonna insisting she knows a dozen places to hide a body, “she’s alive” “fine, I’ll save them for another time.” Nicole insists Wynonna get Bunny’s purse, so which Wynonna relies “yes, cash!” Not medication.
Bunny is actually alive. And doesn’t want to go to hospital because it has too many immigrant doctors - because she is a terrible terrible person.
While they’re dealing with that, some passing frat boys steal the police car and drive off with it - with Bunny inside.
Which means stealing Bunny’s car to follow her, while using Jeremy to track the car (he finds the whole thing hilarious) to a biker bar. There Nicole tries to use her spare key to let Bunny out of the car - and her key breaks in the lock.
Wynonna wants to shoot out the windows. Nicole thinks she could hit Bunny. Wynonna would take this risk
Which means they have to go into a biker bar full of Revenants and bargain for the keys off the frat guys - which involves a drinking competition (and I kind of like how the Revenants are totally sticking to the rules of this) except Nicole gets blasted and Wynonna doesn’t - because she’s cheating.
So we now have them running through the snowy woods evading two separate bands of Revenants - and Peacemaker jams. Until they run across a giant Mountain man who demands a new wife…
Yeah that sums up everything
Back at the police station, Jeremy and Waverley realise this string of bad luck is a bit extreme and check out what they broke when clearing our Nedry’s magic cupboard. They find a broken mirror and obviously suspect the 7 years bad luck and try to fix it as Wynonna and Nicole arrive, chased by the Mountain Man looking for his wife
So along with the broken mirror they also broke a garden gnome - a female garden gnome. Yes it’s a giant gnome., It’s Wynonna Earp, just run with it. And when they fix the female gnome, he leaves, appeased
And Wynonna then confronts Bunny - she doesn’t want Nicole as sheriff. Is it homophobia or xenophobia? She responds that she doesn’t have to choose
So Wynonna threatens to unleash the monsters on Bunny. She wanted to know the truth about Purgatory - well she saw a sliver today and then fainted. Does she want to see the whole lot? No, no she does not.
Wynonna and Nicole are definitely in a better place now having found a level. And Nedry and Nicole have a wonderful moment after Wynonna reveals Nedry was the one who rescued her when she survived a massacre and he worked to try and get her to come to Purgatory - and he calls her a daughter and it’s full of all the AWWWWWW
What is not good is Doc
He wakes half-naked with Kate and is now a vampire - losing his reflection and Bulshar’s ring rejecting him. He quickly tries to do a take back on the whole thing, insisting he hasn’t chosen Kate, he isn’t loyal to her, he loves Wynonna etc etc. It all seems very hollow with the actual fangs and Kate is clear he has ALREADY chosen.
He has a wonderful exalting description of Wynonna - she makes him a better man, she makes him want to help people, be more. While Kate embraces Doc for who he is - a selfish rogue with no interest in helping others. The former sentiment sounds uplifting but I really don’t like how this contrasts and compares Kate and Wynonna: Kate is the corrupter, the hedonist, the one who keeps trophies of the people she’s killed, while Wynonna lifts Doc up. It’s a shame because the last thing this show has done is put Wynonna on a pedestal - and it would be far stronger to have Kate and Wynonna grow to like each other… this isn’t going to end well. I hold a tiny hope that it will lead to Kate seeing what Doc does and what Wynonna is - a rogue, who still does good.
He leaves Kate and we have another flawed and broken character trying to do good: Michelle. She drags Doc to Willa’s grave so she can say goodbye to her oldest daughter - and it’s clear that Michelle both loved her but also knew exactly who Willa was… and she wasn’t. She wasn’t a nice person and she did terrible things and was far more Ward’s daughter than her’s.
Michelle also has a really self-appropriating harsh take on her mental illness - using it quite skillfully to poke Doc every time he implies she’s “crazy” or out of her kind
She tells Doc she’s let Bobo go and knows what happened to Julian - Ward Earp forced him out of the Ghost River Triangle and he’s now all lost - and Michelle intends to leave and go get him
Doc is furious - she’s abandoning her family again, she has released one of their greatest enemies all to pursue a love interest. She’s put them all at risk. Michelle is not having any shaming from a vampire - and leaves.
She does leave letters behind for Waverley and Wynonna. Which has Waverley in tears and when Wynonna is all raw from comforting her she has her own message saying not to trust Doc. She confronts him, there’s emotion, there’s tears, there’s slapping… and Doc is exposed as a vampire. She heartbreakingly says he let Kate do this - throwing away her and Alice, their daughter.
And she uses his vampireness to banish him from the property
Oh Doc - again this won’t end well. Love triangles! Why do we have to have the love triangles? Whyyyy? Why can’t all the good guys get along? Whyyyy? I fear this ends with Kate being staked. Less love triangles - more Wynonna and Nicole snarking! Less tears, more wisecracking!