Deacon Frost lost his family to the monsters, something
he lives with every day. No longer have a reason or desire to live, he goes out
and hunts them, without regard for his own safety backed up by victims and
survivors
But now he is the target – an elaborate trap has been set
up to catch him and another would be hunter is being used as the bait. The
problem is he doesn’t know who is targetting him or why – but if he can’t find
out why he is the one being targeted – or even if he is the target – he and
everyone around him is at risk
This is a power fantasy, a pure male power fantasy and an
action film. Deacon Chalk (yeah, his name as well) fights like a demon – or an
angel rather since he has the super special angelic blood, with a whole host of
shiny guns, drives a super fast shiny car, is harder than nails, kicks more
arse than an entire military unit and looks awesome doing so with his huge
muscles, leather and bad boy sexy tattoos. All the women around him are
gorgeous and love him. He’s kind and heroic to the downtrodden while always gruff
and tough, of course. And he has deeply tragic past and cries manly tears while
beautiful women sooth him – but it drives forward even more ruthless because he
no longer cares if he lives or dies.
It’s no good,
this needs a super action movie voice over.
In a world of vampires, demons and
monsters, one man stands between all that is good and the darkness. Marred by
tragedy he will give anything, fight anything, sacrifice everything in an epic
battle for the fate of humanity! Women want him, men want to be him and evil
runs in fear from him. He is Deacon
Chalk!
This is this book. It’s corny,
it’s cheesy, the main character is ridiculously, perfectly awesome who is
regarded with universal awe and reverence. He cannot buy take away food without
being hailed as a saviour. He’s enlightened, tough, he has literal ANGEL BLOOD,
an awesome fighter with the coolest toys. He could have a thousand women (all
beautiful and all want him) but he is still so tragically hurting so they just
admire him from afar and kiss his cheek (seriously, 99% of women in this book
kiss his cheek, it’s like a compulsion) he runs his own strip club manned
(well, womaned) but ladies he’s saved who all adore him, he has his own priest
as back up (a priest who was a former sniper so kicks some arse, but he is not Deacon Chalk, of course). He wades in
among literal hordes of vampires slaying them in their dozens – lesser hunters
may kill a vampire, but not Deacon
Chalk, he kills 50 vampires, 100, he kills them with a small knife and his
hands tied behind his back and likely makes them flee with his terrible manly
glare (we need a chorus insert here of breathy awestruck women gasping “Deacon Chalk”).
Ok, a nice power fantasy action
movie style book isn’t entirely a bad thing. Sometimes some fluff and blowing
up the big bad monsters with a protagonist who just shits awesome can be a fun,
fluffy, mind deadening read. It can, I admit it, I even like a good action
novel with nothing but cheesy over the top fights and god-like heroes who are
ridiculously, gloriously perfect. It’s a guilty pleasure and I shamefully admit
it.
Buuut… even action fluff books
dripping testosterone and stinking of cordite need to be well written.
And this really really isn’t.
It is hopelessly, unbelievably over-written in a truly mind boggling fashion.
Take Deacon Chalk for example; given
the givens you would expect us not to know too much about him beyond his arsekicking.
Far from it, we know a lot about him, his likes, his dislikes, his opinions,
beliefs, hobbies, tastes. I know all about what sushi he likes (and, of course,
he has a sushi named after him). I know about his cars, in extreme and painful
detail that would make Jeremy Clarkson flinch. I know about all of his guns,
all of his weapons that aren’t guns. I know about his clothes and the whys
behind his clothing choices. I know what cologne he wears. I know about the
other cologne he also sometimes wears. I know about his musical taste. Oh gods,
do I know about his musical tastes. I actually suspect the author may be
required to plug this music it’s mentioned so much.
