General Gary Stu: Righteously Commanding His Lessers

The aliens are attacking, the zombies are hording, the vampires are flocking and all seems lost - the shattered remnants of humanity fall to despair, who could possibly save them? Fear not humanity - General Gary Stu is here to save the day and lead them to victory!

We have spoken before about Mary Sues (those protagonists who are exceptional among women, living in nearly all male worlds, mistaking characterisation for stabbing things repeatedly and generally giving us friction burns from the amount of eye rolling) who often embody impossibly perfect protagonist - but most of the General Gary Stus we’ve found tend to be male (not that there aren’t notable male examples) especially since they’re very common in dystopians - and the dystopian future is nearly always lead by cis, straight, white men but also because, as we’ve said before, there’s some bullshit that only the most privilege of people get away with.

The General Gary Stu is a leader, usually in a violent, militaristic and desperate setting (these are usually dystopians but not always). In some cases he will reluctantly step into the roles, in others he will boldly step into leadership but either way, leadership will simply and easily settle on him, simply because there will be no other reasonable choice or competition.

This could be because, all too often, the General Gary Stu will be ridiculously perfect. He will be so good, so skilled, so knowledgeable and so damn badass (nearly always so damn badass) as to completely eclipse any normal human or even a decent handful of super heroes. The most extreme example I’ve seen is Deacon Chalk (that name!) who is so over the top badass that even Batman would gasp at his awesomeness. But Owen from Monster Hunter Nation, Lee from The Remaining series and Gordon from The End are all certainly challenging for that post.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good badass. I’ll admit (albeit with some embarrassment) that I kind of love that moment when the hero or heroine’s eyes narrow and you know a thoroughly righteous slaughter is about to follow. Shallow, I know, but I love it and a book where I can rely on the protagonist to lay down some epic beatings will please some dark part of my soul (I always look forward to that moment in The Dresden Files or Elemental Assassin Series and, yes, even in some of the Anita Blake Series).

But General Gary Stu is more than just badass, in classic Stu/Sue style he is ridiculously perfect and lacking in real flaws. Gordon from The End is so utterly perfect that he was faintly nauseating and Owen was virtually supernatural (to the point of being an outright Chosen One) in his skill. More than lack of flaws is a general lack of character beyond being such an excellently awesome person - oh we have some angst thrown in for extra manpain (often involving dead family, especially wives) but other than that they’re lacking in any real humanising elements - they’re just utterly perfect, always-right leaders

Blood and Magic (Deacon Chalk #3) by James R Tuck

 

Deacon Chalk can’t even enjoy a quiet dinner out with his friends and loved ones without witches swooping in and ruining the meal.

Witches are a pretty new one to face, especially witches as powerful of these, transforming demon witches, witches that raise the dead and witches that can kill with a word. And they have one target in mind – the Trinity, Sophia’s baby triplets. If they get them, they may have power enough to end the world.

And Deacon Chalk faces conflict in his own inner circle as people close to him try to find their own solutions.

There are elements this book that continue the improvement of the writing style we saw in the second book. It’s cleaner, the descriptions less inclined to be too overwrought and there’s less of the utter melodrama – the writing style is definitely improving.

We’re also having a sense of meta-plot. Not just repeating characters and growing power on Deacon Chalk’s part, but the new connection with the government, Sophia’s 3 mystical children are definitely going to lead to more in the future.

We have a lot of the women growing as well, Sophia is ferocious in defence of her children – yes, an old trope. But we also have Tiff growing into her own, becoming a capable and dangerous hunter in her own right and seeking her own place and own career in monster hunting in her own right. While, naturally, very much under Deacon Chalk’s shadow still – and certainly never in a position to challenge him (because no-one is ever allowed to do that ever – Kat tried in this book and is suitably punished for daring to question Deacon Chalk).

We continue to have a diverse range of antagonists and powers suggesting the world is extremely broad which is always something I favour. The story itself isn’t complicated or difficult – being a rather linear “protect the prize, kill the enemies” with no great mystery or twists. The enemies are known pretty much from the beginning, what is needed to be cone is known from the beginning. What they’re after is pretty much known from the beginning. It’s another action-film type book, it’s there for fighting and action and adventure and taking hits and keeping moving and overcoming all the odds.

All pretty good so far. And it was a book I couldn’t put down until I’d lost rather a lot of sleep – but not because I was enjoying it, but because I was angry at it – too angry to put it down in case it somehow managed to either redeem itself or damn itself thoroughly. And it damned itself.

What broke me? Deacon Chalk is an arsehole. He’s a self-righteous, judgmental arsehole. He’s right, everyone else is wrong. It’s been growing through the books but this one was the straw that snapped the camel in two.

Blood and Silver (Deacon Chalk #2) by James R Tuck

 Deacon Chalk can’t enjoy a good day – something bad always happens that he can’t ignore. This time it was a man beating a dog. But when he intervened he found that the man was no man – and the dog no simple dog either. He quickly becomes the rescuer of a lycanthrope and facing off against an entire pack of predatory shapeshifters

But more, he has stepped into a civil war – between predatory shapeshifters who wish to dominate, kill and control prey species as they always have – and those who are seeking for a more egalitarian co-existence. This, combined with Charlotte’s involvement and the fact the predators are just bad guys Deacon Chalk doesn’t want in his city is reason enough for him to get involved.

But things are not that simple – and whatever the mission of the peaceful weres is, they’re clearly more than they seem and perhaps more than Deacon Chalk can tolerate. Especially since he’s putting his friends, his people at risk for someone else’s war.

This book is one of those that vindicates my habit of not giving up on a series just because the first book (or the first several books) didn’t work for me.

It’s not that this book is radically different from the first book – it isn’t. Much of the style remains the same – so it’s still very much a male power fantasy, it’s still a book of getting the girl, saving he innocent and running around in a big car with a big gun and blowing stuff up and beating stuff up and cutting stuff up while the character equally gets mauled himself in a big, dramatic, gorefest action-movie style romp.

It’s not sophisticated, it’s not subtle and it’s not going to engage too many brain cells – but that doesn’t mean it can’t be immense fun! There’s a weredinosaur for crying out loud! A weredinosaur! Your arguments are invalid!

What has happened is that a lot of the irritants that were in book 1 have been toned down a lot. They’re still there, but in a much much much less annoying fashion. So is it still long winded? Yes, but it’s not nearly as repetitive – we get the long spiel about his guns, once. Not four or five times. And the spiel’s not as long. He waxes lyrically about how amazing his car is – but he doesn’t do it every few pages. We hear what music he’s listening to, but we don’t get treated to the Deacon Chalk guide to all things musical. This helps, this helps so much that I don’t have feel like I have to skim past endless pointless irrelevancies to try and drag the actual story out from the fluff

Blood and Bullets (Deacon Chalk #1) by James R Tuck

Deacon Frost lost his family to the monsters, something he lives with every day. No longer have a reason or desire to live, he goes out and hunts them, without regard for his own safety backed up by victims and survivors

But now he is the target – an elaborate trap has been set up to catch him and another would be hunter is being used as the bait. The problem is he doesn’t know who is targetting him or why – but if he can’t find out why he is the one being targeted – or even if he is the target – he and everyone around him is at risk

This is a power fantasy, a pure male power fantasy and an action film. Deacon Chalk (yeah, his name as well) fights like a demon – or an angel rather since he has the super special angelic blood, with a whole host of shiny guns, drives a super fast shiny car, is harder than nails, kicks more arse than an entire military unit and looks awesome doing so with his huge muscles, leather and bad boy sexy tattoos. All the women around him are gorgeous and love him. He’s kind and heroic to the downtrodden while always gruff and tough, of course. And he has deeply tragic past and cries manly tears while beautiful women sooth him – but it drives forward even more ruthless because he no longer cares if he lives or dies.

It’s no good, this needs a super action movie voice over.

In a world of vampires, demons and monsters, one man stands between all that is good and the darkness. Marred by tragedy he will give anything, fight anything, sacrifice everything in an epic battle for the fate of humanity! Women want him, men want to be him and evil runs in fear from him. He is Deacon Chalk!

This is this book. It’s corny, it’s cheesy, the main character is ridiculously, perfectly awesome who is regarded with universal awe and reverence. He cannot buy take away food without being hailed as a saviour. He’s enlightened, tough, he has literal ANGEL BLOOD, an awesome fighter with the coolest toys. He could have a thousand women (all beautiful and all want him) but he is still so tragically hurting so they just admire him from afar and kiss his cheek (seriously, 99% of women in this book kiss his cheek, it’s like a compulsion) he runs his own strip club manned (well, womaned) but ladies he’s saved who all adore him, he has his own priest as back up (a priest who was a former sniper so kicks some arse, but he is not Deacon Chalk, of course). He wades in among literal hordes of vampires slaying them in their dozens – lesser hunters may kill a vampire, but not Deacon Chalk, he kills 50 vampires, 100, he kills them with a small knife and his hands tied behind his back and likely makes them flee with his terrible manly glare (we need a chorus insert here of breathy awestruck women gasping “Deacon Chalk”).

Ok, a nice power fantasy action movie style book isn’t entirely a bad thing. Sometimes some fluff and blowing up the big bad monsters with a protagonist who just shits awesome can be a fun, fluffy, mind deadening read. It can, I admit it, I even like a good action novel with nothing but cheesy over the top fights and god-like heroes who are ridiculously, gloriously perfect. It’s a guilty pleasure and I shamefully admit it.

Buuut… even action fluff books dripping testosterone and stinking of cordite need to be well written.

And this really really isn’t. It is hopelessly, unbelievably over-written in a truly mind boggling fashion. Take Deacon Chalk for example; given the givens you would expect us not to know too much about him beyond his arsekicking. Far from it, we know a lot about him, his likes, his dislikes, his opinions, beliefs, hobbies, tastes. I know all about what sushi he likes (and, of course, he has a sushi named after him). I know about his cars, in extreme and painful detail that would make Jeremy Clarkson flinch. I know about all of his guns, all of his weapons that aren’t guns. I know about his clothes and the whys behind his clothing choices. I know what cologne he wears. I know about the other cologne he also sometimes wears. I know about his musical taste. Oh gods, do I know about his musical tastes. I actually suspect the author may be required to plug this music it’s mentioned so much.