Fangs for the Fantasy Book of the Week

Every week on the Fangs for the Fantasy podcast (archives here) we read a book and discuss it on the show. The review for the book of the week always goes up on 3:00pm (EST) on a Monday (Monday’s book review).

To give people a chance to read along with us, every Monday we’re also going to include a list of our planned books of the week for the next few shows, so people can get the books, read them and join in the conversation.

 

3/12-10/12: Hunted by the Others by Jess Haines

10/12-17/12: The Turning by Jennifer Armintrout

17/12-7/1/2013: Touch of the Demon by Diana Rowland

7/1/-14/1/2013: The Awakening by LJ Smith

14/1-21/1/2013: Grave Memory by Kalayna Price

We will have a hiatus over the Holiday season, so there will be no podcast on the 24th or 31st of December.

 

We will discuss each book on the latter date – so on the 17th December, we will discuss The Turning by Jennifer Armintrout

We will post a new list every Monday with any changes or new books.

Switch, Season 1, Episode 1

 4 women are gathered around preparing one of their number to go off traveling – with many dos and don’ts and lots of promises to stay in touch. Which cumulates in a magical ritual invoking the 4 elements which is extremely impressive and looks pretty damn awesome. Though, as one of them observers in the aftermath, they should really start using none stick. Then her phone rings – her taxi’s here.

Now there’s an excellent introduction.

7 months later, Stella is sobbing after a panic attack. With an apology, she sends a text to Hannah. Hannah is traveling, she’s meditating in a room full of South Asian men also meditating – when her phone goes off. She scrabbles for it while everyone gives her the death glare. The message is one word “Switch”. She hurries off.

Jude, in a shop with her friend and co-worker, Aaron pause in checking out another, very hot co-worker, Miles when she gets the same text – “Switch”. She leaves mid conversation.

Grace is flirting, rather awkwardly, with a guy in a café when she gets a message “Switch! Now! Timmy’s dead!” She leaves, the guy she’s with left talking to empty air.

At the flat Grace and Jude gleefully greet Hannah after so long apart and Hannah asks what happened. The still upset Stella tells her the body’s in the other room. Hannah goes through sees it and expresses her annoyance. “You made me get an 11 hour flight back from India because you killed a cat.” Yes, Timmy is a cat. Turns out Stella, while trying to warm up her coffee, accidentally microwaved her boss’s cat. She needs a way to bring the cat back to life or she won’t be able to cover the rent – including Jude’s rent and Hannah’s.

Speaking of, her boss, Janet arrives looking for her cat. They quickly cobble together a ritual (massacring a potted plant for earth, fighting to light something for fire – it’s gloriously ad hoc) while the boss waits in the next room. She comes in wondering what’s going on – but her cat is alive which pleases her.

It’s the only thing that pleases her. She spends the rest of the time before she leaves lacing into Stella, nagging her, attacking her, blaming her for a difficult PR account (they’re in advertising) and generally treating her like shit. Which is exactly what the other witches say when Janet leaves. Stella tries to deflect blame on Grace’s mother ringing constantly but Jude drops in a solid realisation: Grace takes shit from her mum, Stella takes shit from her boss, no difference. Stella stomps off in a huff and Grace remarks that, sometimes, when she comes home she knows Stella has been crying.

The next day everyone’s much happier as the juggle getting ready for the day (it says all you need to know about these 4 that they have a sofa in the bathroom so they can talk to the girl brushing her teeth or doing her hair). Stella and Grace are practicing for Stella standing up to her boss, Janet and Grace drops the gentle hints that she wants Hannah to hang around, especially since their spells require all of them. They discuss Hannah’s traveling and Jude adds that if Hannah is going to go away, she’d like to do another switch (spell) before she does. An enchantment. An enchantment for Jude to get the hot co-worker to look at her (she tries to play the “it’s for a friend” first but is quickly seen through)

At work Aaron leaves to angst in a corner and Miles comes in. She puts on the enchanted brooch and he’s utterly enthralled and they end up making out by the till. Much to the shock of her friend.

At work, Stella tries to stand up to Janet who constantly speaks over here and insults her until she snaps and tells Janet to fuck off. She’s fired.

Hannah, at home is trying to block out the sound of extremely loud sex coming from Jude’s room, she’s inside with Miles (coupled with the walls shaking and furniture moving) when she gets a text from Stella – Switch again. She knocks on the door until she can get Jude to see the message.

Haven, Season 3, Episode 11: Last Goodbye

Having found the Bolt Gun Killer’s lair and realised that the Bolt Gun killer is wearing people’s skin, Audrey and Nathan have to be careful who they trust – so they bring in Claire, the Teagues and Duke to view the grisly remains – people they can trust when it comes to Troubles shenanigans (or an excuse to skimp on paying extras). In a leap of pure retcon, Audrey points out that Tommy made several rookie mistakes which makes it clear that he wasn’t a trained cop – so the Bolt Gun killer can look like the people he skins, but that doesn’t mean he knows what they know. So they can find out who the Bolt Gun killer is by questioning people on insider knowledge.

And, surprise, that begins now. The Bolt Gun killer picked Tommy to get into Audrey’s circle and because he wanted to know more about her. It makes sense that someone else in her circle – like the Teagues, Duke, Nathan or Claire – may be the next person he targeted.

Outside the pathologist and some more trusted folk are digging in the ground and finding many many bodies – his dumping ground for the victims he kills for parts.

Audrey continues to have angst about leaving and all the things left unsaid between her and Nathan. They resolve to talk at some point, but not over the phone (all the better to drag it out). Audrey’s worry about disappearing is definitely catching up on her.

The next day Audrey starts to drive to work and finds her way blocked by a man unconscious in his car. He doesn’t wake up but as she calls 911 she sees more people unconscious on the road, in the park – everywhere (that’s what comes of her arranging to have a talk with Nathan, a Trouble intervenes). Everyone’s unconscious – except Audrey.

At the police station everyone is unconscious again, including Nathan. All breathing – but all asleep.

Switching back to yesterday (I hate it when they do this cutting back and forth) Nathan and Audrey examine the body bit and find that all the women had a different body part removed – like the killer’s trying to create a new woman from the custom pieces. Audrey can’t imagine what that would look like. Audrey needs to watch more Frankenstein films. They think by IDing all the victims they can make a composite of the woman he’s making and then figure out who she is – and then who he is. There’s some decent portrayal of just how horrific the scale of deaths is, which also gives Audrey chance to draw attention to the totally-not-relevant-honest puffin earring one of the women was wearing.

Back to today, Audrey wanders the empty streets until she meets a man who is still conscious. With only one shoe and complete amnesia and no ID (and not very good acting – “come to think of it, I don’t know who I am.” Really, Haven?  Really?) He takes Audrey to the place where he woke up and find a crashed ambulance – with his second shoe in the back, chances are he was in it on the way to the hospital

Audrey then gets to explain the Troubles to Amnesia Guy and her theory that he was traumatised and then his Trouble kicked in, sending the town to sleep and healing him. Needless to say, he’s not receptive to this theory.

Back to Yesterday (did I mention how much I hate this TV gimmick? Because I do) Audrey tests Claire at the police station (and is tested back) and both have close knowledge of the other making it clear neither is the Skin Walker Bolt Gun Killer. More psychotherapy about Audrey having chance to say goodbye before she disappears.

Warehouse 13: Saul Rubinek Answers Your Facebook Questions!

It's a long time until Warehouse 13 returns in April, but here's something to keep you going until then

The Vampire Diaries Season Four, Episode Eight: We'll Always Have Bourbon Street

Damon and Elena wake in bed together and Damon tells her how happy he is. In the meantime, Caroline is still having a fit about how disastrous it is that Elena is sired to Damon. Stefan points out that a vampire siring another vampire is one in a million and therefore, there is hope that the sire bond won't effect Elena the same way it does with Klaus and his hybrids. Caroline is convinced that Elena has become Damon's lapdog and so she suggests talking to Tyler to figure out a plan for what to do.  In the meantime, Damon and Elena make love.

Tyler is working to unsire Adrian another hybrid.  Having to shift continually seems to be much to much pain and so after some encouragement from Kim, Adrian leaves. Elena is leaving the house and plans to tell Stefan about her and Damon but he talks her out of it, saying that they need one happy day together before hurting Stefan. As Elena is walking out the door, Stefan appears.  Elena leaves for school, promising to meet Stefan in history and Stefan tells Damon that they need to talk.

Stefan tells Damon that Elena is sired but Damon does not buy it and suggests that Stefan and Caroline cannot stand it because Elena is happy because of him. Damon says that when Elena's body rejects the blood that Stefan had better be prepared to apologise.

Bonnie and Caroline meet up with Elena at school and the three agree to have a girls night and raid the Salvatore wine cellar.  Elena says that she cannot go home because her brother is trying to kill her so the Salvatore place is hers now too.  When Elena catches sight of Damon, she breaks away from the girls and meets him in an empty class room.  Damon offers Elena the blood bag and she is able to consume the blood without a problem.  Elena is excited that she doesn't have to hurt people anymore and she hugs him and kisses him before leaving.

Shane walks into his office to find Hayley searching it.  Hayley reports that they only have eleven hybrids because Adrian walked out.  Shane does not see a problem because with the addition of Tyler he has the twelve hybrids they need, but Hayley reminds him that Tyler needs to stay out of this. Shane says that unless she finds another hybrid, Tyler will become fair game.  Hayley points out that Shane has not held up his end of the bargain and so Shane reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flashdrive, which apparently contains everything that Hayley has always wanted to know about her biological parents.

Caroline calls Stefan and tells him that Tyler said that the sire bond exists because the hybrids are greatful to Klaus for relieving them from the pain of having to change every full moon and that's why they have to keep turning to break the bond. Stefan asks what the vampire equivalent is and Caroline replies that there isn't one.

Stefan goes to see Damon, who admits that Elena is sired. Damon shows Stefan a picture of New Orleans in 1942 and Stefan asks about Charlotte, a girl who Damon used to hang out with.  It seems that Charlotte was crazy over Damon from the moment they met and so Damon decided to turn her.  We get a flashback to a bar in which Damon tells Charlotte to show no mercy on anyone who touches his drink, and of course, she immediately breaks the neck of a sailor who accidentally spills it. Damon admits that Charlotte was sired to him and so Stefan asks if Damon took full advantage of  that until he got bored with her. Damon admits that Charlotte went all Fatal Attraction on him. Damon shows Stefan a coaster with the name Valarie LaMarsh, the witch Damon found to help him break Charlotte's sire bond.  Damon instructs Stefan to pack his bags.

At girls night, Elena drinks from a blood bag, which surprises Caroline and Bonnie.  Elena admits that Damon told her to give it another try.  When Caroline asks where Damon is, Elena reads of a text message he sent saying that he and Stefan were out "brother bonding." Caroline asks what else she and Damon do Elena asks her to lay off. They decide not to "talk about boys," and Bonnie pulls out a bag of "stoner tea"  Apparently, this is a tea that Shane gave to Bonnie to help her practice magic.

Stefan and Damon are in New Orleans walking the streets.  Damon reads off a text message from Elena about her girls night and says that they have gotten into the liqueur. Stefan is not surprised and says that there isn't a single thing that Damon has asked Elena to do which she hasn't done.  Damon points out that he hasn't gotten any guilt or blame from her. "I get it Stefan, I get that you're pissed that Elena dumped you because she has feelings for me. I bet you blame the sire bond for that too," Damon says. Stefan admits that he does because, "it's impossible for her to be so blind that she doesn't see how wrong you are for her." Damon walks away, as Stefan says that he is sorry.

We get a flashback to Stefan talking to Lexy about apologising to Damon and blaming him for the blood lust. Stefan approaches Damon and holds out his hand and says that he is there to bury the hatchet. Stefan starts telling Damon about his plans to ship out to drive an ambulance in the war and so Damon asks if they have room for one more, because he would like to spend some quality time with his little brother. Stefan promises to talk to his C.O. and leaves to get another round. Lexy tells Damon that he is not going because Stefan needs to see death and blood and deal with it as part of his life.  Lexy adds that Stefan needs balance and restraint and that Stefan is better off alone than in his company. Charlotte approaches the group saying that Damon missed supper and so she tosses a barely conscious woman at him, who is bleeding from the neck.  The blood effects Stefan and so Lexy quickly rushes him out of the bar and tells Damon that Charlotte is better off without him as well. If Stefan cannot handle that little bit of blood, how is he to be a medic in the war?

Back in the present, Stefan and Damon arrive at Valarie's last location and of course the place haa greatly changed since 1942.  Stefan believes the next best thing is to get in touch with Charlotte, so he asks Damon if there is a chance that she is still in the city.  Damon says that when he last saw Charlotte, he gave he the task of counting all of the bricks in the city and then promptly left town. The decide to head to the last location Damon gave Charlotte.

Hayley and Tyler are sitting in a bar, talking about the fact that Adrian has not broken his bond to Klaus. Tyler says that Kim is right and that point of breaking the sire bond is to be free and so the two of them don't have to listen to him.  Hayley says that they need to listen to Tyler and that he can make them. Hayley reminds Tyler that hybrids are werewolves first and every pack has an alpha and that Kim is challenging his position as alpha of the pack. Tyler nods and then interrupts Kim and Adrian's pool game. Tyler instructs them to leave and get some rest, but Kim is not impressed and uses the cue to take a swing at Tyler. Tyler grabs the cue and tells her to finish her drink and get Adrian back to the stables. Kim agrees, but the moment Tyler walks away, she tells Adrian that they are going to pick a fight.

Stefan and Damon reach the corner where Damon left Charlotte and he asks if it is possible that she is still in the same spot after seventy years. Damon suggests that they shouldn't tell Elena and Stefan says that they can't lie to her.  Damon suggests that they only reason Stefan wants to break Elena's sire bond is to return her to "factory team Stefan settings." Damon leaves to get a drink and tells Stefan to hunt him down when he stops being a dick. As Damon is walking away, Charlotte jumps out of the shadows and kisses Damon, only to be thrown aside by Stefan.  It seems that she did indeed literally count every brick in New Orleans, waiting for Damon's return.

Beauty and the Beast, Season 1, Episode 8: Trapped

 Crime of the week – someone takes a pot shot at a celeb in the middle of a screaming crowd. He’s Jake Riley and after 3 minutes of him talking to Tess and Catherine, I’m sorry the bullet missed. His manager has a huge bag of hate mail to show them (I can’t think why).  Just to make him even more pleasant he decides he’s happy to have one of them with him at all times – so long as it’s Tess. She’s thrilled, really. And if you’re going to get an actor to play a singer couldn’t you have got one who can sing? Ye gods, it’s like watching X-Factor auditions

Evan is still unable to put his abduction and torture out of his mind. In particular, he can’t get over the fact his vigilante saviour wasn’t human. Catherine begs him to let it go and insists, again, that she didn’t see anything, honest. And then dumps all the hate mail on him to DNA check.

Investigating, Catherine finds out that Jake is in a twitter war with tween sensation Lil Tap That (gods preserve us all)

JT and Vincent enjoy some recapping and are still trying to cure his become feral whenever Catherine’s around (probably a really strong indication a relationship isn’t going to work. 1. You don’t like her friends. 2. You can’t stand his annoying habits. 3. He becomes a feral monster and kills people whenever you’re around. It’s got to be in the top 10). JT keeps experimenting and one of his experiments cause him to flash back to when he first got the treatments to turn him all beastly – and the doctor attending him is Catherine’s mother.

They come to the conclusion that the memories were suppressed by Muirfield (no, really? Honestly, stop treating viewers like fools that need everything spelled out) There follows the standard debate on whether to tell Catherine – Vincent wants to protect her and JT says she’d want to know.

JT calls Catherine and she comes running (leaving her case – again - and poor Tess to babysit). They tell her the big news and she isn’t surprised – since the Muirfield blokes who captured her showed her a picture of her mother with other Muirfield scientists, but she hadn’t believed him.  JT and Vincent aren’t exactly thrilled with Catherine keeping that secret.

To reveal more secrets they induce another flashback – all the soldiers are rhapsodising about how awesome it is on the treatment until Vincent’s fellow soldier, Lafferty, zones out then goes berserk and smashes the table with her first. Catherine’s mother, Dr. Chandler and co hurry with syringes full of meds to bring her down. Later, Dr. Chandler questions Vincent about his progression and reveals she’s helping in the war so she can return to her daughters. She tells Vincent Lafferty is having blackouts that they’re treating and he may suffer the same – but everyone is reacting differently to the project.

Zombie Death Count on Walking Dead!

Someone with an incredible amount of time on their hands has documented every dead zombie on The Walking Dead

Who killed them, what with, in which season - I'm impressed and slightly frightened.

Check out the whole thing in all its gribbliness

Supernatural: Season 8, Episode 9: Citizen Fang

Benny has found himself a job – working at a Cajun Café in Louisiana for a woman called Elizabeth (why do I think something’s going to eat her?)

Closing time, he leaves the café followed by one of the patrons with a knife – and he hears something else in the bushes. There’s some scary noises – and the man with a knife trips over another man’s corpse.

Ah let me predict – Benny is suspected of killing people. Sam wants to kill him, Dean doesn’t want to, Castiel is awesome (the last is a given).

To Sam and Dean where we reveal that the Hunter tracking Benny, Martin, was until recently in a mental institution (I believe we saw him in passing) which prompts all kinds of fail from Dean. And that Sam was helping him back into the game by having him track Benny – wow, Sam really is a grade A arsehole isn’t he? He had Martin track Benny because “no hunter worth his salt” would let a vampire go

Excuse me, Sam, didn’t you just take a year off hunting? Didn’t answer your phone, didn’t try to find your brother, left Kevin twisting in the wind? But this vampire – alone of all the monsters you’ve ignored – this vampire simply must be tracked?

Do down they go to Louisiana to see Martin. Up until a week ago, Benny has just been minding his own business. And he reveals he didn’t see Benny do it – he saw Benny leave the path then he found a body with its throat ripped out. Dean’s insistent, he owes Benny a proper investigation and he’s not going to just chop his head off without proof – Martin just wants to get on with the decapitation.  Sam, big of him, gives Dean 2 hours before more pointless flashbacks strike. I’ll review them later in the recap, I may actually have dragged up some care by then.

Dean goes to the Gumbo shack and talks to Elizabeth about “Roy” (the name Benny’s using) and learn that Benny’s gone fishing. Leaving his number with Elizabeth Dean gives Benny a call and makes it clear how bad things look. Benny, however, is busy disposing of a body. Which is when Dean catches up with him and Benny claims it wasn’t him.

Benny wants to talk, though Dean has his big vamp-head chopping machete which rather puts a damper on things (and he won’t put it away). Benny explains there’s a rogue vamp called Desmond who remembers him from the “good ol’ days” who is starting a new nest. Benny told him no – and Desmond is trying to roust him by dropping bodies around him. He doesn’t want to leave because Benny was actually born in this town and refuse to let a young amateur force him to leave.

Oh and Elizabeth is Benny’s great great granddaughter. And Benny is not amused by Dean’s flirting with her. Being around her helps him reconnect with family and fight the hunger and Dean warns him about the hunters hunting him (he knows – he spotted Martin already). Benny decides it’s time to kill Desmond which, y’know I kind of assumed was a given. Dean says Benny needs to sit down and let him handle it because Sam and Martin will slice first, ask questions later.