Flashback opener! And a young Derek did exactly what Scott did – tried to use his werewolfness to be really good at sports despite his fraying control. Someone (a young Peter Hale) has him take out an amulet with the triskele and chant “alpha beta omega” over and over, whatever that does.
In the present at a petrol station, a man hears some terrible animal noises coming from the bathroom and goes to check if the person inside – Kate – is ok. Nah, whatever you hear coming from a bathroom, you close your ears and pretend it’s all ok. Because if it isn’t, you don’t want to be involved. Frankly, him continuing means he thoroughly deserves the vicious mauling to death he gets
The gang gets Baby!Derek (that’s modern Baby!Derek, not past Baby!Derek) to Dr. Deaton (perhaps labouring under the strange delusion that for once, in 4 seasons, Deaton will actually give the clear information at the beginning of the season rather than dishing out crypticness until the end. Hey, he has to dole out his wisdom in chunks, if he doesn’t get to play Magical Black person he doesn’t exist) who, despite his usual oracleness, reacts with “wow” (I like to think he’s imagining how much money he can make marketing this). Stiles hopes Deaton knows something – and no, no he does not (it is episode 2 Stiles, no way Deaton is dishing out the sweet sweet knowledge so easy! You’ve got to work for it).
Still, Baby!Derek isn’t dying so he gets to stay with Deaton in his warded office where he’s safe from Kate the evil kitty – besides, school night guys (oh please, like any of these cast need sleep!), reminding them that they do actually have their own lives. Lydia decides to stay (Stiles says no, everyone ignores him and Scott drags him out).
With Baby!Derek’s body being all weird, Lydia and Deaton do some tests and find that Derek now has Wolverine-like healing power. He wakes up while they’re distracted – and he’s very disoriented, hearing echoes and seeing red shapes – he slashes Deaton’s arm and runs.
Scott returns home and kicks over a tool box – hey, he’s a werewolf not a werecat. He and his dad have an awkward parental moment – yes, Rafe is hanging around, no, he’s not dead, no he hasn’t been eaten. Yes this saddens me. Someone call Kate, her dinner’s waiting.
To school and Stiles tells Scott how Malia sneaks into his bed several times a night and the sex they have leaves his back all clawed up (there is no indication if this is either complaining or boasting or both). But the secret of Peter being her father is still all looming.
To class, and Mr. Yakimura is still teaching! Malia, alas, is very very behind and even Mr. Yakimura’s patience frays by the beeping of many phones – though the last one is his – a message sent to Mr. Yakimura to make Scott answer his phone
It’s about time Scott’s teachers realise Scott only takes calls when the whole town is about to be eaten by monsters.
To the vets where Deaton puts his exposition hat on while getting patched up – Derek isn’t just young in body but also mind – he’s a confused teenaged werewolf who may not remember any of them. So he probably fled to his old home – the Hale house (which burned down, but he won’t remember that). They debate what to tell him when they find him, but it’s all a little late since Derek has not only found the burned house but has been found by Deputy Parish and another cop (points for the show recognising that Parish looks like 14). Unfortunately, second cop is an arsehole who hasn’t a clue how to do his job, grabs Derek and when Derek grabs him back, the cop tases him.
At the police station, Parish continues to try and play friendly with the Derek who just got assaulted by the police. They run his prints and get… Derek Hale. In comes Sheriff Stilinksi who does a comic “oh yeah he might be…” look. Then Scott and Stiles arrive – you can almost see the sheriff’s blood pressure rising.
His first question is “have you been time travelling”. Yes, I laughed. Time Travelling is his utter limit as far as woo-woo goes. Nah, it’s not time travel! They just found him like that in a wolfsbane tomb in an Aztec temple in an Earthquake destroyed town in Mexico! SIMPLE! Poor Sheriff.
Stiles is a little distracted because, apparently, his dad has been receiving letters marked “second notice” from Eichen house – the mental institution where Stiles was detained. Scott explains to Derek that he has lost some memory and trues to gain his trust by showing his red alpha eyes. When that doesn’t work – he lies to Derek and tells him his family is alive. Scott doesn’t like it but Stiles figures when Derek has his memories back all will be good and everyone will be happy (except Derek, who is never happy).
So Stiles takes Derek to Scott’s house while Scott goes to find Peter Hale. Kira and Lydia are due to meet them, though Lydia thinks it’s a terrible plan (though she concedes they’ve had worse. Lydia is never anything but awesome). But Lydia does comfort Kira about the whole being forced to execute Scott thing. They’ve stopped for petrol – but they don’t need petrol; Lydia’s banshee powers have kicked in again and she’s found the horrible mutilated corpse of the guy bothering Kate.
Just to add to the awkwardness, Malia decides to join Scott in talking to Peter (who they’ve been calling Satan in a v-neck, yup, everyone has been listening to the snark). A very nervous Scott introduces Malia to Peter (and his v-neck). She snarks about his killing spree and not making sure everyone stays dead (because Malia is kind of awesome) and he learns about Kate. Peter is annoyed that no-one in this town stays dead (Malia, who is awesome, points out that also applies to him)
Anyway to the topic at hand, Derek may be young again because this may be when he first met Kate – Scott is surprised that Derek and Kate were acquainted, so I guess he didn’t know that Kate and Derek were lovers. Peter enjoys dropping that bombshell. And since Derek didn’t remember the fire (and that Kate set it) that means she’s taken Derek back to the age where he still knew and trusted Kate.
Taking Derek to Scott’s house isn’t a great idea either because Rafe is hanging around and still hasn’t been eaten. Because Scott is supposed to be showing up for family dinner, Stiles tries to get them all out of it, but Derek is hungry. Stiles quickly gives Derek the name “Miguel” and declaring him Mexican which is not only a bad idea to begin with, but Rafe (or Rafael in the long form) does speak Spanish. Thankfully, so does Derek. Pointless lies and awkwardness continue through dinner and no-one kills Rafe. Of course, Derek realises Rafe is an FBI agent and wants help finding out what happened to his family.
After dinner, young Derek shows his same frustration with Stiles as old Derek and slams him into a wall. He insists on speaking to Scott. Stiles leaves to call – and Kate arrives and collects Derek.
Scott decides they need a plan so they call Lydia (a genius), who sends over pictures of the murdered body she’s found with Kira. Looking at them, Peter decides that Kate probably didn’t intend murder, she just lost control. Since she needs control she’s probably after the triskalian (the amulet we saw on the opening sequence).
Cut to Kate manipulating Derek to get her into the Hale family vault for that Triskalian. The vault is under the school and needs Derek to use his claws to open it. Peter leads Scott and Malia to the same place – but Malia smells the monsters they fought in Mexico. Kate brought some friends. And Peter knows what they are and isn’t happy – they’re Berserkers.
Berserkers? Ok, that was unexpected.
They’re big, scary, wear a skull on their head and are covered in blades – and Pete stops Malia from attacking and turns and runs – he doesn’t think they’ll do well in a fight. Scott and Malia follow but they lose Peter – and find a second Berserker. They try to fight but Berserker armour isn’t even scratched by werewolf claws.
Peters in the vault just as Kate gets the Treskalian. He tells her the Treskalian is actually junk, it has no powers to keep wereanything calm, but it’s a useful object for baby werewolves to focus on while they’re learning control. Derek hears the fighting upstairs and Scott’s Alpha roar and has to go to help, even while Kate yells at him, asking if the amulet is real – Derek doesn’t know or care.
Malia and Scott are thrown together so they can both scoot back on the floor in terror in a more synchronised fashion while the Berserkers slowly stalk towards them. They’re rescued by Kira – werewolves and werecoyote step back because it’s the Kitsune’s turn with her katana and super martial arts skills (because ASIAN!). At least for a little while before she decides to look at Scott with a total “damn I’m good” expression and get punched in the face and join the cowering-creep on the floor
Scott, Malia, why did you just lay and watch? Kira, why did you just look away from the bad guys? STAND UP ALREADY!
It’s Baby!Derek’s turn to fight (he’s actually really good at it – which is weird because Adult Derek was never that good). All alone. Because everyone else is STILL ON THE BLOODY FLOOR. As Derek fights, his older self keeps flashing back (why are you all on the floor? Why are you just watching?!)
Kate and Peter square off to a ridiculously over the top speech from Peter when someone drops flashbang grenades down the vault. She leaves and something (maybe her) calls and the Berserkers decide not to slaughter everyone and run off. A stunned Peter sees someone steal a suitcase from the Hale Vault
And Derek is an adult again. Bye bye baby!Derek. New adult Derek’s eyes are golden – not the blue of tragedy. Stiles and Lydia go in the vault and find Peter muttering to himself about the theft. He claims they took bearer bonds - $117,000,000 worth.
Teen Wolf I am disappointed – you have choreographed some pretty epic fight scenes over the seasons. Scott, Malia and Kira rolling around on the floor while the Berserkers slowly creep towards them is not your best moment.
I’m also not super impressed with Berserker – that very name suggests rage and violence – not “ugh, we are statues but invulnerable”.
I’m still not sure about all this. Theft of money seems so very… mundane for Teen Wolf. And yes, it’s a whoooole lot of money – but manipulating Kate with a weird plan to de-age Derek to learn control (which is really convoluted at best) to get access to a vault seems… complex. Can’t someone with that kind of woo-woo just hit a bank or Bill Gate’s back pocket or something? I’m not saying I dislike the plot – but I think there needs to be a lot more revealed because at the moment things are overly convoluted for what has happened and been achieved. Which is my problem with the first episode as well, with a completely random and unnecessary trip to Mexico and the Caliveras – convoluted, long winded and complex plots that don’t seem to achieve an awful lot