Friday, July 22, 2016

Zoo, Season 2, Episode 5: Moon and Stars

Chloe is dead

No, really, actually dead. Yes, I expected her to miraculously recover as well

So I’m going to begin with a lament to Chloe – a character who deserved so much better. A secret agent with all the skills and knowledge that implied, who was reduced to a love interest. A leader whose leadership was co-opted. A decision maker who never ever made a good choice. A strategist whose decision making was beyond appalling

My gods this character deserved better. She had so much potential and realised none of it. And now she’s dead because she has absolutely no purpose except for angst for poor poor Jackson.

So introducing a new character – Allison, super-rich deputy Secretary of Defence who owns an orchard which is dying and adding agricultural collapse and starvation to the panic the end of the world is happening. Remember, most people are not eating meat now – so losing orchards full of fruit is terribad awful. She’s the one who donated the plane, because she has awesome planes she just has lying around. Oh she’s also Mitch’s step-mother who (you will be shocked to hear!) Mitch has issues with. He spends all his time snarling and sniping at her. He spends all his time snarling and sniping at everyone. Everyone. It’s beyond tiresome now. Someone needs to slap him. Speaking of things that need slapping – everyone’s putting Dariela in the dog house now for not leaving the door open and dying next to Chloe.

She’s also Myka from Warehouse 13 (who would be so awesome) and I’m sad that she’s reduced to this shit. She (and Abe) are better than this.

Anyway, the trees are dying and food under threat – so what is causing this?


And here we see the very essence of why Zoo’s writings are terrible. These snakes are dangerous because they’re shedding poison glass skin (yes really) and they’re crawling down people’s throats to kill them…

They’re SNAKES! You don’t need to create weird shed-skin poison. They’re snakes. They HAVE poison! You want them to be more poisonous? Make them more poisonous! Have them spit in the water supply! Don’t make them crawl down someone’s throat – have them bite people. They’re snakes, they have poisonous bites and don’t have to play with our stomach acid to kill people with it.

Anyway, Mitch makes a cure while sniping at the Chloe replacement (rich woman with the resources being a sort of leader? My my we have a female T-Dog Chain!)

He having done that this means the gang can now go to Caraquet and finally rescue Jaime

And just in time because Jaime and Logan (who are now besties) have found Caraquet which is a) burning and b) full of people who think feeding people to polar bears once a month will stop them eating the whole town. Which probably isn’t breeding at the rate of 2 people a month – so it’s less “save the town” and more “destroy it slowly”.

The town decides to feed Jaime to the bears after knowing her for an hour (c’mon, it took me at least 3 episodes before wanting to feed her to bears) and she responds by blowing up the fence and feeding the whole town to bears! And making sure the leader of the town definitely becomes bear chow. This is outright murder but hey

In other news, Jackson has finally told everyone about his plagued DNA and Mitch has some pseudo-science which is how he plans to develop the cure. Dariela is also to be relied upon to kill Jackson if necessary – because she who kills things now seems to be her role.