Everyone is now aware that the Evil Queen is back in play
and everyone’s worried about how to deal with it. Snow and David offer to help
Regina because they’ve so much experience fighting and beating the EQ.
Is it me or is this the most passive aggressive thing to
say ever? They’re totally rubbing it in.
Like everyone else they’ve decided the source of all evil
knowledge is the imprisoned Hyde and they plan to bribe him with Lasagne. Alas
he’s already working with EQ who has a much more extensive menu. And can
someone please explain to me why this person isn’t under 8 dozen sleeping
curses and occasionally being tortured by Snow White speech? Someone really
really needs to be paying more attention to him and everyone needs to not keep
going to him with all their questions
With Hyde no help, everyone frets over the EQ – and even
Zelena is torn. She’s angered by Regina’s almost parental/patronising need to
tell Zelena to avoid EQ (after all, cannot Zelena look after herself?) while
the EQ continues to try and get her onside pointing out how much more EQ and
Zelena has in common than Regina and her. Y’know, Zelena hasn’t come close to
filling her redemption arc for her to go all dark side.
It’s time for the return of Ashley – Cinderella – who how
has her happy life with Tom and Gus, the human mouse (and this show really
doesn’t have enough POC for this to be one of the few roles – a servile animal)
and her new baby and all is shiny.
This comes with lots of Cinderella flashbacks which,
really, I don’t need to go into because does anyone not know this story? Though
I do have to question the political sense of duty that any prince, heir to the
throne no less, has if he decides to marry a woman based on one night’s dancing
and her peculiar taste in footwear rather than considering the alliances his
wedding could bring. In fact, I question, in a feudal context, any prince
marrying for love when his marriage is such an asset to this kingdom. There’s
one twist – one of the “Evil Stepsisters”, Clarynda isn’t evil and doesn’t want
the Prince at all – she’s fallen for the groom. And though she isn’t forced into
menial servitude and to wear rags, she is still under the thumb of their mother
and her ambitions. Clarynda turns to Cinderella for help – and Cinderella gives
her a magic key her mother conveniently decided to leave her which she never
used for some reason – this key lets people go to the land of Untold Stories and,
effectively, put their story on hold avoiding the fate her mother has defined
for her
And that’s the theme of this episode. The land of untold
stories isn’t just about people whose story hasn’t been told – but also by
people deliberately trying to avoid their ending or trajectory of their story.
Making it both a refuge and, in some ways, a prison.
Now those people are in Storybrooke, their stories restarting
and for reasons that confuse people, Cinderella decides to go hunt her
stepsister with a shotgun.
…y’know, the original fairy tales would be very different
books with the addition of shotguns
This shakes Emma, helped by the EQ stirring the pot of
her angst. This episode has Emma going again to Archie for therapy and
confronting her current fear – why she resents Cinderella and why she has put
her relationship with Killian on hold (despite Killian being adorable with
small children and awesome with Henry AND being incredibly sexy in black
leather. Seriously Emma, how does she even resist?
Emma is dealing with her visions of impending doom and
feels that she doesn’t have a future – she can never have the future
Ashley/Cinderella has, that she and Killian can never go forwards, it’s all
pointless because she is doomed.
The EQ throws in her own injury to vulnerable Emma – when
she hears that Ashley has gone off all gun happy, the EQ steps in to stop Emma
helping. As Hyde also mentioned in the last episode – the Saviour saves people –over
and over andover again. And, as EQ adds, people don’t stay saved. They need
saving again and again – until Emma dies or disappears and can’t save them… and
they all fall. In effect, by stopping Emma saving Ashely – the first person
Emma saved as the Saviour, she’s threatening Emma’s own legacy as the saviour.
The people she’s saved will no longer be saved: that’s what this vision now
represents to her, no future for her and even the good she’s done being erased.
Or I’ve over thinking things again – but it really his
home why these visions are hitting Emma so hard. Not helping that he suspects
the person going to stab her in the visions is Regina since she’s conspicuously
not at her side in the vision.
Back to Ashley – she’s not going to attack her sister,
but protect her because GUILT. Way back in the day she betrayed Clarynda to their
mother in an attempt to protect her glass slipper and convince the politically
inept prince to marry her. Because of this Clarynda and her mother ended up
being trapped in the Land of Untold Stories without Jacob her love interest.
Because spite.
Now that the land of Untold stories has arrived it’s
Ashely’s chance to save her sister from her stepmother and reunite her with
Jacob (who is in Storybrooke because of course he is). After a few misunderstandings,
gun fencing and Cinderella being stabbed, Emma arrives. She has healing magic
which goes a little awry because of the hand shaky thing but Henry is there
offering hope and positivity with minimal wetness and everyone is saved. Except
the wicked Stepmother, she gets to pick up litter (community service for
attempted murder? Damn Regina I know you’re not EQ any more but that’s a justice
system even I find too liberal!). Emma has a new perspective – emboldened by
Archie’s words that while she may be uncertain about the future, so is everyone
and at least she has plot amour and good ratings to point to another renewal (I’m
possibly paraphrasing here).
Alas we need to catch up with the Charmings. David, being
a wet fool, has decided to take the very-obvious bait the EQ gave him to try
and find out about his dead dad. Because everyone on this show just WALKS into
traps the bad guys set for them. Honestly all Hyde/EQ/Rumple need to do is say “hey
I have a noose, want to put your head in it?” and just watch the heroes
strangle themselves
And Snow White wants to become a school teacher again and
worries that this is silly because she’s a princess. Uh, Snow White, you’re a
princess without a kingdom so I think becoming a school teacher makes much more
sense
Except she thinks her school will have an awesome science
department led by Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Frankenstein…
…ok either Snow White is secretly an evil genius or she
really does have access to sine seriously good drugs. She could make Rumple the
Headmaster and we could have a school for evil geniuses.
Rumple has not given up sending romantic poetry to Belle
now living in Killian’s ship
And the EQ rescues Hyde from prison. See what I mean
about terribad security?
