Saturday, January 28, 2017

Supernatural, Season 12, Episode 9: First Blood

Before the hiatus, Dean and Sam just saved the world by exorcising Lucifer out of the president of the United States, therefore sparing everyone from the second worst president in US history.

In the process they were arrested for attempting to assassinate the president. There are serious men in suits who frown at those kind of shenanigans.

Murderous young guy just wants to murder the Winchesters (and they’ve managed to gather a further amount of information on the brothers). Older guy who is now the most awesome person ever, responds to this in repeatedly awesome deadpan-ness I think I give special prize to these two exchanges:

Young Guy: Sam and Dean Winchester they tried to kill the President
Old Guy: Oh. Why?

Young guy: assault, murder and multiple accounts of desecrating a corpse
Old Guy: The same corpse?

I could definitely grow to love old guy

Anyway while young guy wants to kill them both so he can bask in their fear and pain (he’s a little creepy to say the least). Old guy is more sensible – he thinks that two guys trying to kill the President and nearly succeeding probably had some level of support network they may wish to investigate

He also scores well for completely writing off torture as a completely useless interrogation technique (which would be doubly useless against the Winchesters as the Men of Letter’s already tried. People who have been tortured in hell and by Satan are not easily persuaded by pain)

He loses points by instead turning for several month long solitary confinement which is, basically, torture.

Meanwhile Castiel and Mary despair of bringing Dean and Sam back. Castiel tries to recruit Crowley but Crowley is blasé because a) he’s evil and the king of hell and b) the Winchesters have been captured and targeted by some of the most evil and powerful beings in the world, himself included, and survive. He “pities the fool” who took the Winchesters

Monsters are still appearing and need killing. Castel tries – and just succumbs further to depression and despair as he utterly fails to actually hunt successfully. Castiel is utterly at a loss and pretty devastated.

While Mary, mummy Winchester, steps up. She starts hunting, she starts filling the void left by her sons.

The Winchesters escape – because they’re Winchesters. They both apparently die in a weird coincidence and the government agents move their bodies to morgue allowing the Winchesters to escape

The shadowy government agents try to hunt the Winchesters in the wilderness. The Winchesters have fought demons, werewolves, vampires, leviathans (sorry for mentioning that, I know we all agreed never to mention that season), demons, angels, devils, god’s own damn sister. Soldiers, even shadowy black ops soldiers, are not really in the same league. The Winchesters promptly take them apart but leave them alone – and then run for the road

Where they’re found by Castiel and Mary

Now how did Castiel and Mary find them? They turned to the Men of Letters who are excellent at all the strategy and technology and magical toys. They’re also desperate for an in to the American Hunters who are surly and independent and generally not willing to speak to people who are well groomed and capable of forming whole sentences. Mick is frustrated. Mary and Castiel wanting help is a perfect in

So they find the brothers and the Winchesters kind of owe the Men of Letter’s.  Except the British Men of Letters considers it quite unprofessional that the Winchesters to leave people alive and promptly massacre everyone because it’s kind of what they do all the time.

On the one side I can kind of see it. Sure Dean made a menacing threat and told them about the devil – but as far as the powers that be are concerned the Winchesters just tried to kill the President. And then took out a special forces squad. There’s absolutely no way they’re just going to forget this and pretend it didn’t happen. Finding Sam and Dean is going to be the number #1 priority of every acronym agency the US has.

On the flip side: they killed everyone who knew about Sam and Dean. Everyone? Everyone? How many people close to the president knew about this? Even if Sam and Dean were held on a Black site, there’s going to not just be a huge number of people to massacre: bit it’s going to be a huge number of high ranking intelligence agents. Even assuming for a second the Men of Letters have this terrifying amount of power to actually achieve this, what they’ve just done is pretty much declare war against the US government. And if they’re going to lose their shit over a black-ops-defeating squad after nearly assassinating the government, I can’t even imagine the response to the presidential assassins escaping AND an entire secret base ON US SOIL. Do we think the US government would respond to this in a reasoned, non-emotive and subtle manner?

Either the Men of Letters are literally the only super power x 10 or the rest of this season is going to be extremely messy.

But how did Sam and Dean escape? They made a deal with Billie the reaper – if she temporary killed both of them a Winchester will die for real.

And why would they make such a deal? Because Old Guy was right – solitary confinement broke them. Months of being alone with no interaction completely destroyed them. One of them dying was seen as a small price to pay

Which is a pretty huge admission as to the horror of solitary confinement: these two survived hell but solitary confinement broke them.

Billie is all ready to collect – a Winchester must die. Of course Mary volunteers. I am prepared to add another tally mark to the fridge (how many times has Mary been put in that fridge) – but then Castiel murders Billie

Y’know, killing the Black woman – one of this show’s very very very very very very very few Black woman – is no better than fridging Mary. And it misses an opportunity. I would totally get behind an arc where Reaper Billie slowly learns to respect the Winchesters after a series of interactions, common causes and force co-operation. This is Supernatural you could develop this over 10 seasons, we all know this show is going to be here until the sun explodes. If humanity discovers immortality it will be because the CW is crossing every line it can to KEEP THIS SHOW GOING.

That would have been a great story and wouldn’t have resulted in another dead Black woman. Stop being predictable Supernatural

Castiel has a pretty epic but slightly creepily obsessive speech about how he had to do it because the world, this desperate fragile world, needs the Winchesters, all of them. The Winchesters are just too precious


I wish to point out that while Sam and Dean have ended many many apocalypses, they’re also pretty much responsible for at least half of them. Lucifer being free, Amarra, the Leviathans, Purgatory, the seals – pretty much you name it they did it. And since there’s apparently an epic woo-woo badness that comes with breaking a blood debt with a reaper, I think we just launched our way down Winchester-caused-apocalypse #11079675

So we’re going back round that storyline again when we could have had the long long long grudging respect of Billie. That would be new.