We start out with a
dream sequence to remind us:
a.
The elder is out there, scary and powerful
b.
Scarlet was adopted and her biological mother could still be out there.
This is one of
Scarlett’s ominous visions and dreams and comes with the added ominous worry
that Vanessa is no longer part of it.
She and Axel have
made it to Crooked springs, the place high in the mountains with the idealistic
Jessie sending out red balloons and using the radio to try and attract people
to safety because she’s overflowing with hope and positivity. There’s also
Dennis who hates strangers and is sulky and not full of positivity. There’s
also McGrath who… is there? And Boss Lady
Boss lady is
mysterious. She doesn’t have a real name. She is a loner who stalks the wilds
to kill vampires and saves people. She’s a scientist. We don’t know who…
Nope, I’m not playing
this. I’m not pretending - I don’t believe anyone watching this show didn’t
guess Ominous Older Woman is Mummy Van Helsing within 5 minutes. There’s just
absolutely no way at all. I’m not going to hang around for a big reveal and
pretend to be shocked.
Among the people she
rescues is Doc - bringing her back to the sanctuary to have Scarlet be super
unhappy that she’s lost the key. And Axel be super unhappy because he hates her
and think he abandoned Julius because he hates her so much and Doc is absorbing
all the negative and hating herself.
Meanwhile Lucky,
Flesh and Jolene are wandering the wilderness, kind of lost because Flesh has
no more Vanessa visions (yes we’re playing up the fact she might be dead, I’m
not really buying it). They do run across small precocious child Callie who is
STILL ALIVE. Seriously she better be revealed as a fae or witch or alien or
something because it’s ludicrous this kid is still among the living.
Also, note again that
this show is taking place in a not-very-large theme park and if you wander for
five minutes you WILL run into the other cast members.
Callie also
conveniently has one of Jessie’s red balloons and expertly reads Jessie’s hand
drawn map to lead them to Crooked Springs and more reunions. I swear people
aren’t even shocked by tripping over each other by now
So pretty much the
whole gang is now gathered together in the centre of the square 5 miles where
they’ve been orienteering all weekend. So time for some character and
relationship development: this includes Jolene learning that Doc took Axel to
Vanessa, got him turned back human and all very self-sacrificey and she’s super
super impressed and even if Axel hates her she knows Doc is awesome. This leads
to Doc sharing her real name (Sarah btw) and hometown and them bonding
If I weren’t firmly
against playing the subtext game I’d say they’re definitely on the road to
becoming a couple.
Lucky might be
pregnant and there may be Relationship Conflict between her and Flesh because
Flesh is a bit “all about me” when it comes to angst but really this would work
better if these characters had been developed more or had been remotely
relevant to the plot all season.
More ominous is the
ferals stalking the fortress. They are showing signs of intelligence, they’re
using tools, communicating, setting up ambushes and generally being worrisome.
Dennis is killed in a cunning ambush and turned - which is most unusual for ferals
who generally eat people. They’re also led by the scar-faced vampire Vanessa
released from the Ominous Base 2 episodes ago
Yes, that base is
that close. I say again THIS ENTIRE SHOW TAKES PLACE IN A LARGE GARDEN.
Everyone just runs into each other.
They launch cunning
plans that involve taking out the power and everyone having to plan to get the
power back on. This is generally not feral behaviours. Not-Vanessa’s-Mum
examines their blood with Doc to conclude that the vampire’s are evolving and
mutating super quickly and someone is definitely behind this. She’s very
worried because this seems to make them resistant to sunlight which is bad -
and able to regenerate in an almost supernatural fashion. To a degree where she
worries vampires may become unkillable. This prompts Doc to offer her blood as
a changed vampire to help find a cure - meaning Not-Vanessa’s-Mum learns more
about Vanessa and her biting habit.
The cunning Ferals
arrange another ambush using Dennis’s resurrecting vampire body (honestly the
minute they said “regenerate” they should have checked this) which lures Lucky
and Flesh outside to find scar-feral has captured Julius who is still alive -
does anyone die on this show? Scar-feral is not amused: he wants to know why
this human isn’t changing no matter how much he’s bitten. Of course they don’t
answer and Flesh and Lucky get bitten
For Flesh this isn’t
an issue. For Lucky this is a problem. Flesh is now devastated and Lucky pulls
out a grenade from somewhere - which would have been really really really
useful earlier - and uses it to blow herself and a pack of ferals up
Now we know why there
was all the relationship drama; it’s a version of a Swan Song - trying to make
Lucky’s death meaningful.
The gang is now sad
and has Julius who is quick to tell Axel that Doc was super awesome and super
helpful - but that he also doesn’t have the key and Dmitri is out there
planning cartoonish evil with the elder.
To which
Totally-not-Mummy-Helsing demands to know more. Upon hearing this she and
Scarlett set out alone to find the elder and, shock of all shocks.
Not-Mummy-Helsing reveals she IS MUMMY VAN HELSING!
And back at the base
Callie, the demon child, makes radio contact with the people who kidnapped
Vanessa. Or leaned out the window and waved at them because everyone’s so
close!
