Saturday, December 2, 2017

Van Helsing: Season 2, Episode 8: Big Mama



Welp, things just got a bit weird and a bit silly


After last week Vanessa got kidnapped so Doc, Axel, Julius and Scarlett decide to follow. Axel decides they need to follow going north. Scarlett says south. Axel says end of discussion. So they go south

See, Axel the arsehole in command in early season 1? Does not wash with Scarlett and isn’t happening


Quite how they’re going to find helicopters by heading in a vague direction I do not know.


But they drive off and are pulled over by cops. Yes police, with sirens. In the apocalypse.


Doc makes a point about driving while Black which would actually inject some conscious racial awareness if it didn’t seem to be more played as a joke. What is better is how Doc is clearly much much much much much warier of our overly-friendly-red-neck-police than the others


I can’t really decide if Axel is really comfortable with these police or if he’s just playing along. The cops invite them to their little settlement and they’re really super creepy about not taking no for an answer, so the gang decides to join. Of course, there could be an ulterior motive there: the police have food, guns and gasoline, the 3 essentials of the apocalypse (like all dystopian shows, petrol apparently remains useable forever, along with tinned food) so they’re looking what they can grab


The police are welcoming but are aggressively adamant that they won’t share their guns (the sheriff makes a point of Doc’s gun wariness being a relic of the old world - which is an interesting point. To what level can you be anti-firearm in a world full of vampires?). There’s a shower and Axel cleans up nice and he and Scarlett are definitely flirting


But the main thing they want to share is BBQ, prepared by Big Mama


Yup, it’s the standard post-apocalypse cannibal storyline! Only this time the humans are eating vampires and showing off their UV smoker where they char vampires into jerky while still alive which is all kinds of awful.



Axel and Scarlett nope out, pass on the message to Doc and Julius and plan to run after stealing everything they can. Unfortunately Julius goes off message and decides to put the vampire out of it’s misery - as an ex-vampire there’s a definite “that could have been me” moment. In the process he stabs Big Mama which irritates the police somewhat. Their escape is foiled there’s lots of gun pointing and Julius decides to explain everything by claiming they’re ex vampires


This troubles the police and they decide that there are ways of telling if someone is a vampire


The logic reminds me of something




Thankfully this is interrupted by the Sisterhood arriving and likely killing everyone. Scarlett has heard of the Sisterhood and is duly afraid of them.


So let’s catch up with Lucky and Phill who are looking for Mohammed and doing the standard wandering around until they stagger over something interesting. Which they do - they run into Dmitri, Scab and a horde of vampires who have captured a load of humans to snack on as they travel, apparently going after Scarlett.


Dmitri decides they should rest at night and travel during the day because it’ll be easier for their human snack food. He overrules Scab’s objections which may be a problem because the Sisterhood follows Scab after the farcical and nonsensical killing for their leader and they’re not a big fan of Dmitri. Who is still ridiculous

Phil decides that the best time to save humans from vampire is to raid their camp at night.


Raiding. The Vampires. At Night. Because of course it does


During the rescue Lucky wants to go after Mohammed - but Phil has given up on him. Which seems rather surprising - but Phil insists he has to live in the now and do what good he can

Or maybe Phil has realised that if they just wander around for long enough they will likely run into him. Or maybe he’s realised that he and Lucky have no idea where Sam and Mohammed have gone. Just like Scarlett & co and Vanessa. But more wandering