Monday, June 11, 2018

The Originals, Season 5, Episode 7: God's Gonna Trouble the Water

Everyone is still grieving over Freya and things are generally all sad and terrible. Caroline has sent a letter saying “yeah that’s all sad - I’m off to my school that admits Nazi vampires. Toodles” and she’s out.

Hope is grieving deeply with Freya trying to provide comfort and being deeply aware that Hope having a melt down may actually melt the whole city. The plot remembers Josh exists and he’s feeling guilty for some reason. And Vincent is worried because of the whole scary scary shadowy darkness that happens when several Mikkaelsons are together and everyone’s kind of down - and hoping Klaus leaves because Klaus and Hope in the same place is such a bad bad idea.

There’s also the funeral about to happening only none of Hope’s family can attend without bringing about terrible dark apocalypse. Klaus intends to attend astrally

But dark and horrible things are already happening - because Elijah is in town. He and Antoinette have decided to see Nazi Greta’s Nazi folllowers so they can pay their respect to this dead Nazi. Disturbingly they find a whole army of Nazi vampires passionately dedicated to Greta’s Nazi ways and Antoinette is a little freaked out because she’s not really that on board with the whole Nazi-ness. Despite this they don’t look at this packed room full of Nazis and think “hey Elijah is an Original, let’s kill all the Nazis”

Antoinette also belatedly realises that maybe, just maybe Nazi Greta was probably a bad guy and it’s all her fault that Hayley’s dead

Y’know despite her not really caring last episode and being quite willing to have Elijah used as a Nazi tool for her Nazi mother. This shaky characterisation comes from the writers wanting us to be sympathetic towards Antoinette despite the whole Nazi thing.

Following that shaky characterisation we also have Elijah still defending the whole thing. This is necessary because we need to dangle the idea that Elijah may join the Nazi vampires despite it making absolutely zero sense. But the plot demands it

The plot demands it because Klaus is very very very very very very pissed and has imprisoned both Elijah and Antoinette - and has bitten Antoinette. That means she’s now dying from werewolf venom unless Klaus heals her. Which Klaus is not willing to do even when Elijah offered to get his memories back: as far as Klaus is concerned Elijah is dead to him because of Hayley’s death. Antoinette is also not thrilled with Elijah getting his memories back because a thousand or so years of his co-dependence with his family are likely to overwhelm their 7 year relationship

This is a recurring thing this episode, everyone wants Elijah to have his memories back despite everything knowing there is a reason they were taken from him

Marcel is one of those- he doesn’t want to antagonist Greta’s nazi followers by killing Antoinette, the belatedly repentant Nazi. For some reason placating the Nazis has taken precedence over murdering them all.

So Marcel, with Vincent in tour, takes the deal: they will cure Antoinette (because they always keep a vial of Klaus blood around in case he gets bitey) and resotre Elijah’s memories and he and Antoinette will return to France and take all the Nazi vampires with them.

This plan does not explain:
A) why they need to restore Elijah’s memories to have him feck off the France
B) why the Nazi vampires would follow them to France anyway, they all seem quite content in New Orleans; or
C) Why we’re not all coming together, declaring Nazi vampires bad and just BBQing every last swastika waving one of them

They go ahead and perform the spell - which ends up with Elijah unconscious on the floor overwhelmed with badness and possible black magic. As Klaus says when he’s told what happened, he points out he was trying to protect Elijah. Elijah is a man defined by his guilt, his memories back + being responsible for Hayley’s death will cause Elijah a guilt-splosion

And no-one seems to realise that Elijah lost his memories because there’s no way his utterly dependent nature is going to allow him to remain in France away from them.

In other grim news we have Ivy warning Vincent that there’s more to all this apocalypse when two or more Mikkaelsons are together - as the omens build eventually they reach the very Biblical point of killing all the first borns in the city. Have we kind of… forgotten the whole cursed Native American girl hollow/darkness/thing from last season?

So when Hope is at Hayley’s public funeral and deeply sad because everyone around, celebrating Hayley, are strangers -the people who actually knew and loved Hayley can’t be there. Klaus manages to appear astrally only and only briefly

Because the Nazi vampires have prepared some kind of ambush at the funeral. And Hope loses it - setting one entire van on fire - the other decides to run

Finally, someone is on board with killing nazi vampires!

Klaus naturally wants to run to the rescue - but Ivy (who is providing the astral projection despite them obviously not liking each other very much) warns him of the whole first born massacre. Which will include Hope, of course.

After the battle and when Hope returns home, Klaus does use astral projection to catch up: but Hope banishes him. She doesn’t want this half-Klaus. She wants his real presence with her. While Freya confirms the prophecy of first born death is legit, Hope has a new mission: break this and make “Always and Forever” real again

Which, yeah it’s good to have a hobby. But can I draw everyone’s attention to the last 5 seasons and how every single problem these guys have is caused by the endless family dramas caused by them all. Honestly they should all pick a Continent and stick to it

Klaus still decides to hang around with Hope offering lots and lots of comfort while the water actually catches fire. Maybe have less emotional scenes while the water actually on fire. Maybe. But it’s a nice big party along with Keelin being reunited with Freya. I’m both happy to see her and worried she’s going to get murdered.

And the episode ends bizarrely with Elijah and Klaus transported into a prison