At the end of the last season Dutch, Aneela and Khylen went into the Green to hunt down The Lady and everything got juuuuust a little surreal
And in this green zone we have everyone wearing fur and Dutch apparently injured with veins of greeness heading to her brain which is super super dangerous. Khylen’s solution is to tell a story. A story of her and Johnny
I’m not sure whether this is an appropriate healing strategy but a) I love Khylen’s formal storytelling style alongside their irreverence and b) Dutch/Johnny flashbacks are THE BEST
Seriously? Throw out all this metaplot, I don’t need it. I just need Johnny and Dutch roving across the Quad being awesome. Give me this!
So this goes back 7 years ago to Dutch and Johnny before they were Killjoys but after they met but both having trouble getting by given Johnny is a thief and Dutch thinks she’s being hunted by lots and lots people because of her fleeing Khylen
They have lots of wonderful shenanigans with Johnny scamming and Dutch rescuing him with violence and getting them a legitimate job - to deliver some goods to the Quad. Yes this is the story of how they first arrived on scene. This comes with lots of snark from Lucy who is not happy with Johnny for trying to steal her and a lot of clear indication Johnny doesn’t know anything about her past.
Also Johnny has eyeliner and he makes it work. Oh yes yes he does.
They arrive in Westerley and quickly find how corrupt the place is by having all their goods seized - and their ship. Not a great introduction. They end up in Pree’s trying to think of a way to get out of this difficult spot (not with Johnny becoming a sex worker, alas). This involves them getting into a fight with a Killjoy. No, they don’t know what a Killjoy is and Dutch, after beating up so many many many many people, shoots him in the foot. Which does not amuse him and he arrests them and questions them - which works on Johnny but Dutch is happy to mock the lie detector by announcing she’s a carrot.
Only the Killjoy finds his warrant has been hijacked by the Company: the crates they were delivering which were seized have their contents stolen and ol’ company stooge Hills wants them arrested for stealing from the company and a few other things. At this point Johnny shows off his tech skills and Dutch her assassin skills in them discovering how the goods were stolen and what the goods were - a high end professional assassin poison.
Helpful Killjoy (I want to call him Joseph but, hey I could be wrong) points out that this would mean Hills kind of revealing he lost some poison AND a high class assassin. Which looks bad on his resume. Instead Joseph has a plan: Hills leaves his warrant alone, he will find the poison and the assassin, get a big pay deal and clear everything up. Hills goes for this
Naturally Joseph wants to recruit Dutch and Johnny to help and Dutch makes a deal: she will do it for immunity so they can leave the Quad. Which Joseph would do except she kind of shot him in front of everyone so she kind of has to bring her in. She’s ok with this - and deals for immunity for Johnny alone.
The theme of this episode is how Dutch doesn’t want to let Johnny close and is sure this relationship is super doomed to end quickly because is the worst and hurts everyone around her. This is a common trope but it’s interesting to see it with the woman being the one trying to drive people off not the Big Brooding Alpha Male and that their relationship is clearly not romantic which is pretty original.
They do some investigating which is so very very very very fun because they’re so awesome. They follow a chain to Qresh - the rich people episode. So, apparently Qreshi nobles marry for 10 years at which point they all get together in a rich people party, check each other’s credentials, health, resources and have lots of sex and then decide if they want to shuffle their partners around. As Dutch points out, it’s not entirely about sex because these rich people can have all the sex they want and having sex with poor people doesn’t even count as cheating. Despite that there’s a lot of sex
As they head to Qresh Dutch tries to lock Johnny up on the ship to keep him safe from her, but he manages to escape with tech skills and by appealing to Lucy’s reasonableness. It’s adorable to see Johnny and Lucy make friends
So he can join Dutch at the very classy orgy to give her fake credentials (which, somehow, she managed to completely forget when raiding classy party). They wander around looking for the assassin, doing some sexy dancing, pretending to be a married couple and constantly snarking perfectly along with a lot of snark from Johnny about Dutch’s surprising fighting skills. With tech and assassin skill they find the assassin and easily overcome her because Dutch is uberassassin +10
Except Johnny is infected with the awful poison of awfulness and Dutch has to face him dying. She plans to torture the captured assassin so she will hand over the antidote… and it’s so good. We have lots of speeches from Dutch about how she’s terribad awful but Johnny is kind and decent and good and maybe just maybe he could be her redemption. And the assassin clearly understanding having worked in Dutch’s regretful evil assassin shoes but also thinks Dutch can’t change. Dutch is prepared to torture the Assassin awfully to get the poison clearly near crying in regret and Johnny stops her. Even though it’s to save his life while also determined to save Dutch
Yes, it doesn’t exactly make sense since he’s dying but it’s earnest and good and kind and the assassin is impressed and hands over the antidote
So Dutch and Johnny can hand over the poison and assassin and fulfill the contract. Dutch prepares to be split up but the Killjoys have an offer - a recruitment offer
This is understandable given the skills, but it also helps that she has the Red 17 DNA which is very impressive.
And there follows lots of awesome bonding with Dutch and Johnny.
So the point of all this? Honestly I didn’t need a point because this episode was awesome and I just want Johnny and Dutch up to shenanigans together. Except Khylen is telling Dutch this for a reason: telling her that Johnny is her rock, her true north, the wind beneath her wings etc etc etc. And if the Lady In the Green who is trying to drill into her brain is winning she needs to run to Johnny who saved her
Aneela wants to know who he saved Dutch from and Khylen says “me”. Which kind of outraged Aneela… because she’s the twin who wasn’t saved, clearly.
Aneela still expects the Lady to break Dutch - but apparently this was Khylen’s plan… and he expects Dutch to face the Lady while she can. Which she does - despite being injured she charges out in the snow, collapses and is surrounded by horrible veins crawling all over her
Honestly? Less green and veins et al and more flashbacks! Dutch and Johnny forever