Wynonna Earp is back! And we need to deal with the important things first!
Waverley - that hair is tragic. But not as tragic as Jeremy’s moustache. No, Jeremy, no.
The gang is all together hunting Revenants with sniper rifles, a mechanical bull, lots of alcohol and wit and one liners. They want information about Bulchar, this season’s big bad and the one who cursed the Earps in the first place.
There’s a lot of angst though. Wynonna and Doc are not quite talking because of their missing baby Alice they had to give up last season. Doc is ignoring all of this and avoiding Wynonna while pouting and moping. While Wynonna is also avoiding the issue by training extremely hard with Doc and day drinking so much all the while having lots of sexual tension with Doc and, to a lesser extent, Dolls. So the love triangle is still on but kind of ok compared to most shows as there’s a distinct lack of hissing at each other over it.
But there’s a new threat in town - Vampires. On a stripper bus and wearing super super shiny clothes. They glamour Nedley who happily welcomes them into the town
From there they unleash a horrible massacre which the gang investigates. All the dead people come with extra symbols for Balshur, which Nicole has read about from some Black Badge files - there have been massacres for Balshur since the 1920s and now it’s come to town. It also seems to hit Nicole especially hard. Investigation is delayed somewhat because Nicole and Waverley both get glamoured by a vampire
Purple fog also hits Doc’s bar and Jeremy and Doc get glamoured as well (with Jeremy asking the vampire’s thoughts on Twilight). Doc is taken to the stripper bus to be tested by one of the vampires who clearly has history with him. She wants to prove that he’s the real Doc and she’s doing that by torture. This may also be because of their bad history and also because she doesn’t seem to be especially amused by the idea that he’s no longer his hedonistic self and now has friends and stuff.
Wynonna also bails from the investigation - to visit her mother. Yes her mother is about - apparently she’s been locked up in a mental institution for some time and it’s been a dark family secret. She hears voices and some of those voices are about Balshur - unfortunately she’s not very coherent so she doesn’t have great information to share. But Wynonna meets Dolls there and he’s happy to get her her mother’s medical records.
They also run into sexy purple fog but neither of them is glamoured… much to the squishy vampire’s unfortunateness. But Wynonna is knocked out by Nicole, Jeremy and Waverley and taken to the vampire party
There is a huge vampire party which is full of formal dress and big speeches about killing people and it’s all gloriously over the top. The plan is for the descendents of the original families Balshur ruled over will be presented to him as a big offering while everyone else will be nommed by the vampires. Such fun. But during all this fun Nicole is very disturbed at the idea she would be a victim while she claims to always be a survivor. She has issues with these guys
Except Dolls finds Wynonna in the basement, rescues her and shows her his official Black Badge guide to slaying vampires (and the instruction manual is just PERFECT). They duly head to the party with a terrible quip and the fight is on to slay vampires
Or massacre vampires because other than glamouring they apparently have no physical skills and once dead their victims are free of all mind control and can get in with the killing. Lots and lots and lots and lots of killing (and crafty ploys to find out who is glamouring who by yelling “Waverly, who’s your favourite vampire!”). And Nedly declares Purgatory is for the living… mainly. Because this show has all the lines.
They leave the head vampire to go to Balshur as a warning and because he has to tell them he has nothing to offer him which is bad. Wynonna even takes his stripper bus
On that Stripper Bus, Doc gets free but his History with the vampire who caught him is apparent - and he doesn’t shoot her when she runs. So there’s another hook
And another hook is that Nicole remembers being a victim of the Balshure cult
But Wynonna and Doc have a moment, burying some of their issues and making up - and out.
That surviving vampire goes to Balshur - who makes him eat something unpleasant which is probably bad
And we end with Wynonna and Waverley in a car crash in which Waverley is then kidnapped
Soooo many hooks
I love that from the opening minutes of this episode, Waverley and Nicole’s relationship is clear and obvious and sexual and loving from the very beginning which is one of the most beautiful things about this show. Waverley and Nicole are never rendered sexless but nor is it fetishistic and nor is their relationship forgotten. In so many of the shows we watch and books we read, LGBTQ identity, if it exists at all and especially for a main character, is something referred to, briefly, rarely shown and often forgotten.
Also this show remains hilarious with the endless quips, one liners - both good and bad (and open sporking of the bad ones. And Sporking of Jeremy’s moustache. And honestly “sexy fog” and “please be a surprise Arianna concert” and “what’s your opinion on Twilight” all get applause from me. Along with every quip about their vampire masters)
I am kind of interested in vampires that seem to have little physical ability - but their glamour is amazing.
We also have our first completely unambiguous moment where Jeremy confirms he’s attracted to men, wanting to make out with a vampire… though glamour was involved. And it’s still played for comic relief so… yeah