Helmut Saves the World by Matt Sheehan

Helmut Haase and his druid partner Shamus O'Sheehan, own the Fog City Detective Agency.  Helmut plays the role of heavy and accounting manager, while Shamus uses his druidic powers to help solve cases. Though both men are completely opposite, they are a formidable team. Motivated by a large payday, Helmut ropes Shamus into a case which quickly reveals the darker side of their world.

Though there are elements of the fantastical in this book, Helmut Saves the World is a dime novel masquerading as a detective story.  Events tend to happen to Helmut and Shamus, rather than them actually being engaged in a mystery and discovering a solution. Coming in at 105 pages, Helmut Saves the World is a novella and as such, has specific limitations due to length.   Sheehan did take great care with his world building to create an alternative earth, with a new history but took no such care with character development or motivation.  Helmut Haase is easily one of the most unlikable protagonists that I have had the misfortune to stumble upon in the longest time.   He is an avid womanizer, with zero respect for women.  His only goal is to amass fortune and display it like a ridiculous peacock.  He drips of uninformed hypermasculinity, with absolutely zero nuance.   To Sheehan's credit however, I am not at all convinced that readers are meant to truly embrace Helmut.  

Female characters exist as little more than conquests to Helmut.  He seduces them quickly and discards them like yesterdays refuse. The only two female characters who have any weight in the story are Katina, a woman Helmut lusts after and of course must save, when a man comes on too strong at a bar and Phoebe, whose largest claim to fame was rejecting Helmut's charms in favour of Shamus.  To make matters worse, Helmut naturally assumes that Phoebe is a lesbian at first because she doesn't rush to open her legs. Women are simply conquests to be bedded and have far less characterization than the male characters.  Which is saying something because the male characters are cardboard cutouts, with Helmut excelling in the role of Gary Stu.

The Grimoire of the Lamb (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #0.4)

 

Okay to start this review, I feel it necessary to give full disclosure that I am totally a Kevin Hearne fanpoodle.  This means that this review will probably just consist of the obligatory fanpoodling that happens when one of a readers favourite author released a new book.  Lucky for you, The Grimoire of the Lamb is a novella so that means you won't have to tolerate much of my poodling. 

The Grimoire of the Lamb is set four years before the events of Hounded.  This means that  while we still get Atticus and Oberon having an epic adventure in Egypt, Granuaile is missing.  It all begins when a man from Egypt calls with the hope of purchasing one of Atticus' rare books. Nkosi Elkhashab is desperate to get his hand on the a grimoire, which appears to have nothing but recipes for cooking lamb, but Atticus decides that there has to be more to Elkhashab's desire than ancient culinary delights and does some research. When he learns that the grimoire contains 13 spells, which Elkhashab wants to use to "restore Egypt to its rightful place as supreme among the world," Atticus realises that no matter what happens, Elkhashab must not be allowed to possess it. 

When Elkhashab manages to undo Atticus' magic and escape to Egypt, Atticus and Oberon have no choice but to follow.  Like every other pantheon,  Atticus is not exactly very friendly with the Gods.  Before Atticus can even deal with Elkhashab, he must find a way to make peace with the goddess Bast, whose holy book he stole centuries ago.