Damien, Season 1, Episode 4: The Number of the Man

Time for more ominousness! Including weird stuff in demonic bathtubs and Damian contemplating suicide with his ominous razor.

John hasn’t completely given up his battle against Ann for control over Damien – playing the happy, kind paternal father figure to Damien, reassuring him that all this antichrist nonsense is totally silly and Ann is a scary weird lady he should stay well away from. At the same time he tries to aim for a truce with Ann with them both playing nice and united in front of their fellow corporate types/possible devil worshippers, saying nice things about unity and working together while clearly sharpening those knives for when the backs are turned.

Suspicious Detective Shay continues to be suspicious – really he would be completely bored and move on if the supernatural didn’t keep flashing up around him. Honestly it’s like the various infernal forces are taunting the man and encouraging to persecute Damien

Which he tries to do, it’s almost laughable. I mean there’s a whole scene where Shay says how suspicious it is that a man died in a freak accident while Damien was busy saving a child’s life – he’s literally just described Damien’s perfect alibi! Far less funny is his rather ridiculous threat to persecute Damien, stalk him and even outright murder him

No. Bullshit. Ok, yes this kind of police abuse bullshit happens. It does NOT happen to extremely wealthy well connected White guys who spent part of their childhood in the White House. John Lyons, his father figure, is a former White House chief of staff for crying out loud! Ye gods, with Damien’s connections he could have been found with blood up to the elbows cackling confessions in 8 languages and he could still walk!

Damien instead tries to cast suspicion on Ann which really doesn’t work because Ann is Ann and is good at this game, happily casting suspicion back at Damien along with aspersions regarding his mental illness.

Proving my point, Shay’s boss also tells him to back off, accusing him of being obsessed and making a homophobic crack about Damien being Shay’s type

The Magicians, Season 1, Episode 11: Remedial Battle Magic

The gang knows a bit more about the Beast, that it’s basically the bug evil writer paedophile with extra powers, and they know it wants to control all entry into Fillory and out. Which means it wants the button

The gang gathers to figure out what to do next – which involves some nifty probability spells showing them the consequences of their actions. The consequences are… death, death, death, mystery, death, death, death. They choose mystery. Which involves going to Fillory

No-one is really a fan of this idea but what other choice do they have? It helps that they know of a super powerful-may-kill-beasties weapon in Fillory which would be quite useful. Penny is still really reluctant but the Beast’s desire to control the keys to Fillory also means removing all Travellers (who can zap in whenever they want). He does this by psychic assault which is really loud – driving his mentor and Joe to suicide and Penny to the edge with a drug overdose.

But before they go to Fillory they need to be ready to defend themselves. Which means Battle magic – something none of them can manage despite doing it before. They do some research – and interview Kady who has mastered the art of throwing nasty spells about – and learn that anyone can do it in an extreme circumstances kind of way, but to do it consistently you need to achieve a kind of zen-like calm. Something which took her a whooooole lot of meditating

The short cut is to ram your emotions in a bottle leaving you spooky and calm (and kin of eerie) but when you uncork said emotions they come back tenfold and you’re a bit of a quivering wreck who falls apart and gets drunk (except Elliott… but only because drunken quivering wreck is kind of the ground state of his being at the moment. As opposed to drunken quipping wreck which was the ground state of his being the rest of the time. If he was even remotely characterised I would say this is because his emotions are already so bleak and extreme that ratcheting them up with the bottle doesn’t really do anything).

Hidden (House of Night #10) by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast

Neferet continues to be evil – and has decided the next step in her evilness is to kidnap and sacrifice Sylvia Redbird, Zoey’s grandmother. Naturally Zoey and the gang run to the rescue, even though the Vampire High Council is providing no support for their efforts. They also need to be careful with their public persona as Neferet is starting to launch a public relations battle with the human authorities.

It does give Aurox a chance to make a choice about who he wants to be and which side he is on.

We need to take a moment to look at the overall story arc of these books – because I’m on book 10 now and it’s not quite holding together.

The overall meta is that Neferet is a big bad evil who must be stopped. And if you preserve your thinking to that very shallow depth (understandable since deep thinking and the House of Night Series go together like Canadians and tropical weather) then that kind of holds together. Neferet does evil things, Zoey and co then respond to stop her. But what does Neferet actually want? And, no “evil” is not a motive. So we have Neferet rather belatedly acquiring a motive: she wants “control” rather than just power (which I’m taking to mean no accountability. Which I’ll let pass… except all of Neferet’s power now seems to come from her having to repeatedly bleed and beg for help from her Evil Cow. How does she have more power than she had before?). And to get this power she’s going to make humans and vampires fight each other and then she can swoop into the ashes and be confident she’ll take over

Ok, let’s suppose for a moment that this plan has a chance of working when she’s pretty much setting herself up as a number one target in the giant war she’s planning on starting. Let’s let that go for now and instead ask:

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN TULSA?!

Look if you want a global conflict, it’s not going to start in Tulsa (no insult to Tulsa, the same applies to my home city or most cities on the planet). In fact, her attempts to manipulate humanity have netted her some shaky control over the mayor of Tulsa. I paused a moment to see if she meant the Governor of Oklahoma. Or a senator. State senator? No, the Mayor of Tulsa. That’s the extent of her power. It’s not even the state capital or the biggest city in Oklahoma! It’s the 47^th biggest city in the US. It doesn’t have a significant vampire presence – the most important vampire in this city was Neferet herself.

Grimm, Season Five, Episode Thirteen: Silence of the Slams

With Nick and Monroe back from Germany, we get a return to the Wesen of the week.  This week's case involves luchador masks which are made from the faces of a woged Wesen.  Goyo is tired of being a loser.  The promoter doesn't see him as special at all and so instead of being celebrated, each week he is paid to lose. A luchador lives and dies by the stories he tells and now Goyo is determined to be a hero.  Goyo seeks out a new mask and balks at first when he is told that he will have to surrender half of his winnings but the desperation to be seen as great finally forces him to agree. Unfortunately for Goyo, signing away half of the money he makes is only the beginning of his sacrifices.  Benito makes Goyo sign a contract in blood. Tell me, who the hell is told that they have to sign in blood and doesn't immediately decides that this is a bad idea?

In order to create the mask, Benito attacks a fellow Wesen and cuts off his face.  This is the point when the cops are forced to investigate.

Goyo is pleased when he receives his new mask but is very cavalier when is he told by Benito that he is never to wear the mask outside of the ring. Goyo's next fight is with  El Mayordomo.   El Mayordomo is shocked that Goyo is not following the script and when he is placed into a submission role, he is forced to admit his defeat.  Goyo put on such a show that the promoter decides to take Goyo on.  An ecstatic Goyo pays Benito 50% of his take. Outside of the shop, Goyo is attacked by an angry  El Mayordomo and when it's clear that this is one street fight he isn't going to win, Goyo puts on the mask and ends up killing  El Mayordomo. I guess this answers the question of why Goyo didn't just try to win the fight on his own without paying such a hefty fee for a new mask. Clearly, he may think he is a winner but that doesn't match with his ability.  An upset Goyo, takes off his mask and hurries home.

To be clear, Goyo should have a great understanding of exactly what wearing the mask does to him at this point but when he arrives back home, does he toss the mask in the garbage like anyone sensible would? Why of course not. Goyo puts the mask back on and unfortunately, this time he cannot get it off. Predictably, the mask makes Goyo feel real rage and he smashes everything in his apartment.

With yet another dead body, Nick and Hank continue their investigation which leads them to Benito. Nick and Hank arrive at the shop to find Goyo beating up Benito.  I cannot help but see this as karma given that Benito killed someone else to make the mask and knew damn well when he sold the mask to Benito what it would do him.  Nick and Hank manage to get Goyo under control but Benito still dies.

Who does Nick call when he has a Wesen problem? Why Monroe and Rosalie of course.  With Benito dead, it's now up to Rosealee to help get the mask off of Goyo.  Rosalie pours boiling water on Goyo while saying a spell.  The mask comes off and Goyo is horrified with what he has done. Goyo ends up in a mental hospital.  I really hate the idea of woo caused mental illness, particularly when there's a link between mental illness and violence.

Once Upon a Time, Season 5, Episode 15: The Brothers Jones

Killian has been saved from Hades, going home with Emma. He’s pretty badly beat up leading to this very very true exchange:

Killian: Hades knocked the handsome out of me

Emma: No-one’s that powerful

I agree Emma, no-one has that power, nope nope nope. Thankfully Emma does have the shiny power to patch him up (I don’t know why but I really like to see her using her magic – it seems like such a progression for her character after what she’s been through over 5 seasons)

Of course she can’t magically cure his self-hate and guilt. Especially since Emma has set a high bar to compare himself against: she became the Dark One and fought it or weeks. Killian became the Dark One and succumbed almost instantly.. yes he’s not feeling good about himself, and doesn’t think he deserves saving from the Underworld

Killian, you just got saved – everyone risked their life to save you. You don’t get to unsave yourself now, it’s a rule.

They also run into Liam – Killian’s beloved and saintly big brother. Killian is horrified because he’s put Liam on such a high pedestal he can’t imagine him ever having done anything bad to have unfinished business (they seem to mix up “has unfinished business” with “being bad” here. After all, no-one can call Regina’s father bad). Killian decides that Hades has rigged the game and they absolutely must kill Hades to free everyone. Liam also isn’t a fan of Emma – he self-righteously points out Emma’s choice to keep Killian alive and make him a Dark One continually tempted him to darkness when she should have known better. He’s not entirely wrong, but he’s also a lot of a git about it (which, when Emma talks this through with Regina, she’s happy to point out because Regina and Emma are awesome), super judgemental and not recognising any of the nuance of the situation

It is a nice subversion of the trope to have a protective older brother worry about the woman his little brother is dating. This kind of protectiveness so often carries a huge chunk of policing female sexuality with it which makes it so very different and new when it’s the little brother being protected.

The Walking Dead, Season Six, Episode Fifteen: East

The East is the penultimate episode of season six, setting us up for the appearance of Negan and the big season finale.  With the exception of Michonne and Rick, much of Alexandria seems to be reeling from the loss of Denise.  Rick, being Rick is over confidant, certain that they can handle anything that comes their way and that it won't be like when The Governor attacked the prison.  Rick's in an ultimate state of denial about exactly how much trouble Alexandria is in. Rick is just happy to be in bed with Michonne.  I do however think that shot of Richonne sharing an apple in bed together is sweet and shows us exactly how far these two have come since they first met.

Exit is appropriately titled because people just started streaming through the gates of Alexandria. Darryl is angry that he allowed Dwight to live and thus blames himself for the loss of Denise.  Darryl hops on his bike seeking justice and is quickly followed by Rosita, Michonne and Glenn.  Tobin gives Rick, Carol's John Doe letter and Rick and Morgan head out in search of Carol.

The juxtaposition between Carol and Darryl is really quite interesting. Darryl is feeling guilty because despite all the reasons he had to kill, he chose mercy and even helped Dwight.  His choice to believe in innate good cost him in a way he couldn't possibly have predicted and now his greatest desire is to make it right.  Glenn rightfully argues that this isn't about Denise because Denise is dead and that nothing Darryl does outside of the walls is going to bring Denise back. Carol on the other hand is a loving nurturing person (as long as she is not asking you to check out the flowers) who realises that she simply doesn't want to kill again.  The problem with loving people in the zombie apocalypse, is that you have to be able to protect them  and that means killing.  Carol may not want to kill but she will if she has to and it becomes evident, as we watch her sewing a gun into the sleeve of her jacket.

When we see Carol standing outside of her vehicle after having the tires shot out by the Saviours, we know that these men are already dead.  Carol's body begins to shake and she's clearly hyperventilating, giving the impression that she is weak and defenseless. Carol begs them repeatedly, saying that no one has to die but it's clear what she really means is that they don't have to die.  Carol shoots  her weapon, gathers their guns and takes off.  Carol is bad ass and while she may not want to kill, she will if she has to.  What is perhaps most interesting about Carol facing off against her attackers is that they see her gender and the fact that she is alone to be a sign of weakness. It never occurs to them that a woman who has survived this long in a zombie apocalypse must be capable in some way.

The Rick/Morgan day trip is also quite fascinating.  Rick has now decided that he was wrong for sending Carol away, claiming that today, he would have killed Karen and David and that Carol did the right things because Karen and David were beyond hope.  The Rick who turned Carol into an outcast still had hope and today he offers no one a chance.  Morgan very much still believes in redemption. Morgan explains what happened with the wolf and even stops Rick from killing someone who runs from them.  Morgan thinks that even in this horrible environment people can change and come back from the worst.  Carol may be family to Rick now but it's Morgan who understands her because he has been her.  Morgan like Carol, no longer wants to kill.  Morgan sees the entire circle of life.

Bitten, Season 3, Episode 7: On the Brink

Time for another episode of awfulness and bleakness!

Clay and Jorge lead the charge on bleakness – they decide to track down the Red Eyed Wolf – now dubbed “The Albino” (despite not appearing to be Albino)…

Really? The sinister albino trope? Isn’t that done? Didn’t we all stop with that offensive bullshit a decade ago because we realised how utterly awful and wrong it was? We’re resurrecting it for an actor who clearly isn’t Albino and no real attempt has been made to portray him as such (thankfully because that would be even worse).

They don’t seem to have any plan beyond “kill him” without bringing any weapons, while allowing the Assassin (I am NOT calling him “The Albino”, hell no) to pick the land and after they already figured out that 2 of them vs the assassin just doesn’t work.

After a few angsty conversations from The Assassin about how Clay must totally like killing and from Jorge about how everything is falling apart – Jorge is predictably killed. Behold, disposable POC has been disposed of mere seconds after a brief attempt to actually humanise him and make him more than a name (yes, it’s a Marginalised Swan Song!).

So basically that whole chapter was “hey the assassin is totally awful!”. In case we didn’t see it. File it as rather pointless filler

Meanwhile Katja is on the run with baby Rocco who she intends to offer to Roman as the only werewolf/witch in order to get close to him so she can kill him. Unsurprisingly it goes terribly wrong and she nearly gets them both kidnapped – luckily for her Rachel has been using her new found magic to guide Paige and Nick to Katja’s rescue.

Sleepy Hollow, Season 3, Episode 16: Dawn's Early Light

Underpinning the story this week is Pandora officially being Done with the Hidden One. She’s sick of his bullshit especially since he’s taken to torturing her after last week’s revelations.

She’s done with this. She abandons him with a hard hitting speech about how they’re supposed to be lovers and partners like Ichabod and Abbie are (well, they’re partners) and he treats her as a slave, or (as he puts it) a pet – she’s now going to work against him

Ok, interval to parse this. The Hidden One and Pandora has always been deeply problematic on two levels: it was grossly misogynist with Pandora being this subservient, servile, cringing follower who called that cringing love and affection despite endless abuse. She constantly begged for any kind of affection or attention and never received any respect. On this level, Pandora telling him she’s Done is excellent

But it’s also deeply problematic on a racial angle – with the dark skinned Black men being this savage, anti-technology, domineering monster who has then enslaved (his and her own words) a white woman. (And that is something else to address – why this thousand year old woman from an ancient civilisation which apparently isn’t Greece had to be a White woman). We have a dark skinned Black man not only enslaving a White woman (which is cringeworthy to begin with) but also being the big scary menacing abuser of her. Pandora breaking free does not change the racial tropes that have dogged this toxic “relationship.”

Fleeing this hot mess, Pandora goes to the Witnesses, she wants to reforge her box which has the power to contain the Hidden One. But to do that they need to go back to the catacombs where Abbie was locked away for so long – which she isn’t exactly super thrilled about this.

So this requires tracking down how to get into the catacombs – this includes lots of history, lots of name dropped, Betsy Ross (who was EVERYWHERE), Masons, visiting historical sites and accidentally waking up a tar covered fire-throwing zombie soldier.