Once Upon a Time: Season 2, Episode 13: Tiny

 Rumple and Emma are going on their road trip as Rumple calls in his debt, but Emma insists on bringing Henry since she doesn’t want to leave him behind with Cora lurking around. They tensely cross the boundary, worried that Rumple may lose his memories crossing over (though he never actually lost his memories with the curse, he and Regina were the two who escaped) but when he crosses over he declares that his name is Rumplestiltskin and they’re going to find his son

Working their way through the airport and Rumple being a little overwhelmed since he’s never left Storybrooke before. There’s a particularly bad moment when he has to take off the shawl to go through security, risking losing his memories as he staggers through. He gets more and more agitated and stressed until he goes to a bathroom and batters his fist against the wall. He tries to heal his skinned knuckles, but it doesn’t work. His magic doesn’t work.

As they take off, he looks more and more nervous

In Storybrooke, Snow answers the door and it’s Regina! Quick admissions of being wrong and Regina being framed by Cora and Archie actually being alive follow and Snow’s heartfelt apology. Regina is more focused on seeing Henry and they tell her he’s left town. Regina’s angry that they left without consulting her but Snow protests that they didn’t know where she was – and Emma doesn’t have to consult Regina anyway. Ahem, as Henry’s legal guardian you do actually.

Snow, Charming and Grumpy take Hook to make him show them where he stashed his pirate ship (with Snow confident he’ll help because pirates know which way the wind is blowing. And Charming’s threatening to cut off his other hand).  Grumpy is interested in using the ship to return to fairyland, but it won’t work without a portal. Hook doesn’t know Cora’s plans – but knows it involves a man in a cage: the giant from the top of the beanstalk, now human sized.

Flashback to the giant’s past in fairy land, where the other giants call him Tiny since he is considerably smaller than the other giants but he insists on Anton. They’re celebrating the bean harvest and Anton is lightly chided for his obsession with the humans and their world – which they’re banned from visiting (and even pretend the giants are gone) because humans conquered and invaded different realms, not content with just trading. Anton thinks sweeping judgement of the humans is wrong and questions why they grow the beans at all if they don’t use them. One of the other giants destroys the human harp he had and Anton leaves the table angrily, goes to the Beanstalk and climbs down.

Back to Storybrooke where Grumpy comments, unnecessarily, that Cora made Anton travel sized. Snow frees and wakes Anton to try and find Cora’s plans – he’s confused and disoriented, but when he says Charming he attacks – punching him over the rail (he may be small, but he seems immensely strong) and knocks Grumpy aside; until Snow sends an arrow in front of his face. Anton runs telling Charming that he remembers what he did and he’ll pay for his evil.

In the hospital, Ruby visits the amnesiac Belle and tries to bring her some comforts from home. Belle doesn’t remember her and is confused – especially since she remembers Rumple using magic to heal her and throw fire. Ruby tries to call it a side effect from the tranquilisers but Belle insists – and becomes agitated when she’s called Belle, a nurse arrives and sedates her. All of this is watched by Greg, the normal outsider who came to town.

Charming and Snow wonder why Anton is angry with them, but Charming has a flashback to his brother, James, identical in appearance but very different in personality who was called on to face a rampaging giant by their adopted father, King George. Charming says they have to find out exactly what James did, and we flash back to see ourselves.

James met Anton just peering in the windows of a tavern. Anton wishes to see the human world and James offers to let him – but Anton is too big. James’s female companion offers him magic mushrooms from a far off land that will make him smaller – her name is Jacqueline, most people call her Jack. Anton becomes a guest of James and Jack at the tavern. There Jack and James are friendly, and talk about Anton’s place with the humans rather than his brothers who belittle him. Jack also confides in Anton the kingdom’s money trouble – that if they can’t pay off their vast debt to a neighbouring kingdom, they will be invaded and pillaged. Anton offers to help – not with magic beans as Jack suggests – but with the giant’s vast treasure hold.

Anton returns up the Beanstalk and is confronted by Arlo while he fills sacks with treasure. Arlo assures him that, despite the teasing, he is loved and valued by his brothers. But Anton wants to live with the humans, using magic to be human sized. But the sentry birds come on alert – Anton has been followed to the beanstalk by the humans.

Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Two

 

This episode opens three months in the past and Alex is dressed to go on her date with Hal but she is at a fair with a little boy.  He wants to know if Alex is going out tonight, who is going to wash up and make dinner.  Alex says that it's her holiday as well and promises to return to the fair with him the next day because they have all of the time in the world.

In the present, at the hotel, Alex is chattering away and Tom and Hal are trying to organize their chores. In frustration, Hal says, "Alex please!"  When she asks if they want her to shut up, Hal gets all smooth and says that she is "vibrant and entertaining company and is distracting them."  Alex replies, "what am I supposed to do? I can't eat and I can't sleep." What none of them know is that the devil is pretending to read a newspaper in the lobby and is watching them.  Tom asks Alex what she used to d do before and Alex replies that she looked after her brothers, went off the piss with her mates and played the piano. It turns out that Alex was going to be a concert pianist. Alex realises that Diagnosis Murder is on and disappears.

Patsy is arranging some flowers and the Captain (read: the devil)  asks if she has an admirer but Patsy replies that she picked them up at the petrol station thinking that it might brighten the place up a bit. Patsy goes on to add that she keeps thinking about Sophie (the girl the captain talked into committing suicide) and the captain asks, "that poor girl, was it something I said?" Patsy tells him that Sophie adored him and that he cannot blame himself. The captain replies that he has a plan to lift the spirits and as he and Patsy leave the room, the flowers that she just laid out appear visibly dead.

Alex is sitting at an organ playing when the hand of a child touches her shoulder.  When she turns around, no one is there.

Patsy talks to Hal and Tom and says that she will be watching them and that whoever impresses her the most, will be named employee of the month. She wishes them the best of luck but winks at Hal. Patsy then turns and leaves. Hal says that this is why the world is going to hell in a hand basket and cannot believe that people need competition for them to do their jobs properly. When he turns, Hal finds that Tom has straightened his clothing. Tom says, "game on, you will have your work cut out if you want to beat me buddy boy."  At first, Hal says that he is not going to compete, but Tom counters saying that Hal doesn't want to try because he knows he will be beaten.  Tom says that it would be the easiest thing in the world for him to win this ridiculous competition. The two start bickering, until Hal says that he accepts the challenge. The two head into the kitchen grab cleaning supplies and head out.

Alex decides to venture downstairs.  As she looks around, she hears a voice calling her name.  When she heads into the bathroom, she sees a sink and turns on the water and the noise gets deafening.

In the main room, Tom tosses out the dead flowers.  Patsy enters and asks where the flowers are, so Tom says that he has taken care of it. Patsy is not impressed and informs Tom that this is 7.99 down the drain and will be coming out of his wages.  Hal snarks that this has put Tom in Patsy's bad books. Alex bursts into the room and says that she believes their house is haunted.

The three return home and head downstairs, as a door slams.  When Alex says, "see now do you believe me?" The ghost repeats what she says.  They  find a little boy sitting in a room by himself. Tom and Hal ask Alex what the little boy is doing there and what he wants, and Alex replies that she doesn't know.  Tom then proceeds to tease her about being to scared to find out. Alex tells Hal to go in and ask, but Hal says that he can't.  Tom and Hal finally push Alex through the door. The ghost says hello to Alex and admits that he has been watching her. He adds that Tom and Hal are hiding outside the door.  Hal and Tom join them in the room.  The ghost says that his name is Oliver and then he falls to the ground coughing.  He looks up at Hal and asks to be carried. Hal says, "children and I don't mix," so Oliver asks, "Your manservant then?"  Tom quickly denies that he is Hal's manservant. Hal then offers Oliver a piggy back and he stops coughing.

Alex asks where Oliver came from and what he is doing there.  Oliver says that this is his house and that he has always lived there. Tom wants to know why they have never met and Oliver replies that he was hiding from the monster - the man with sticks and rope, who are guardians of the afterlife. Hal says that they cannot exist on this side but Oliver replies that he thought it best to keep a low profile. Oliver claims that he came out of hiding because he saw Alex, though she isn't much to look at. Oliver asks what happened to Alex's hair and wants to know if it's because of an industrial accident.  They move into the living room, where Oliver encourages them to make themselves at home.  

Alex decides that this would be a good time for a housemates meeting. When they step aside, Oliver joins them but Alex says, "just the grown ups."  Alex asks how he could have been living there for so long without anyone realising.  Hal adds, "more to the point, we can't turn him over to social services." Hal suggests that Alex look after him because she is good with kids, but Alex replies, "that little thumper over there is not one of my little brothers."  Oliver then falls to the ground and calls out for a blanket, so Tom rushes to his side and puts him on the couch. Tom says, "we don't want you getting poorly now do we." When Alex points out that Oliver has been dead for a hundred years, Oliver coughs. Alex suggests that Oliver is faking and as she talks about her brothers, Tom and Hal leave the room. Alex tells Oliver, that he might be able to fool Tom and Hal but she has seen this all before and orders Oliver to get up.

Hal and Tom return to work and Hal explains to Patsy that they were called away by a domestic emergency.  Patsy says that she has the smoking gun and saw Tom on the security camera. Patsy says that it's noble for Hal to take the blame and tells Tom that he needs to pull his socks up. Tom walks off as Hal calls after him and says that it's funny.

Dominic is on the phone with Ian's sister and tells her that a friendly face would really help Ian out. He informs her that a car will be there to pick her up shortly. Dominic heads off to see Ian and asks him how he is feeling today. Ian says that he needs to feed and that it has to happen soon. Dominic asks Ian if he remembers what they talked about the other day. Ian replies that he knows Dominic has a very special job for him. Dominic says that he has a job which demands skill and delicacy and reminds Ian that he said he was the world's worst nightmare - the victim who gets super powers. Dominic tells Ian that his hour approaches.

Hal is disinfecting the keyboard of the cash register with a q-tip and pure alcohol, as Tom is vacuuming. Tom says that he would never think of doing that and this is why he isn't going to win the competition. Hal says that this isn't part of the competition and is surprised that this isn't something everyone does.  Tom replies that he knows Patsy prefers Hal, but he believed that if he worked hard that he could change her mind. Hal adds that he is not interested in the competition but Tom is upset because he wanted to add employee of the month to his CV and adds that he has never had a CV. Hal assures Tom that he can have a CV and offers to type him one, as soon as he is done with the register. Tom says that he wanted to better himself and that he believed that this was his chance.

As the two are leaving, Hal suggests that he withdraw from the competition because he believes that without him distracting Patsy that she will see Tom's potential. Tom turns down Hal's offer and replies that "people should win things because they're good not because everyone else is more rubbish."  When Hal approaches the door, Alex opens it and announces that they are having a party. When they enter, Oliver is playing music on the organ and the house is decorated with a Welcome Home Oliver sign. Hal says that they were looking forward to a quiet evening and some supper because they have been working all day. Alex points out that she has been working all day because she has been stuck with Oliver.  Alex tells Hal that she will go to the hotel and work his shift and he can try to do what she just did. Tom adds that everyone deserves to have a fuss made when they're little and joins Oliver at the organ.

House Rules (Chicagoland Vampires #7) by Chloe Neil

 

Merit and Ethan have recovered from the chaos that ravaged the city not long ago, but that hardly means things are stable. After a tumultuous vote and far too many demands, Cadogan House is leaving the Greenwich Presidium and being considered Rogue. This is a major and difficult step for the vampires, as they reach out to the rogue community to build new ties.

The Greenwich Presidium itself is not pleased with the defection and is determined to make things as difficult as possible. They’re in town and doing their very best to cause as much pain to Cadogan House as they can as punishment and a warning to others. And from sheer pettiness.

But there are also vampire dying in town – Rogues to begin with but it escalates. With the new anti-vampire administration in charge they can’t rely on the authorities, but nor can they let the murderer continue their killing. Especially since it would solidify their place with the Rogues.

Then there’s the Red Guard. Without the Greenwich Presidium, their resources may be more important to Merit than ever, but how can she handle potential divided loyalty from Ethan?

There was another conflict between Merit and Ethan this book and I’m kind of torn about it. On the good side every part of it is reasonable. Ethan has every right to feel the way he does and to be angry about it. His emotions, his reaction and his beliefs are reasonable and justified. Similarly so are Merit’s, a reasonable person would do what she did, feel what she did and act like she did. The whole argument and resolve between them makes perfect sense and fits neatly with the story, the characters and their relationship.

But, this follows from the last book which had a completely unreasonable and rather ridiculous falling out between them. For me, it meant I was a lot less patient and a whole lot more irritated by this book having another relationship drama – no matter how reasonable – especially with everything else going on. I think it especially grates because Ethan and Merit have only just really got into a relationship – every time we get close to them being settled in relationship mode something happens – Ethan dies, or Mallory cast the spell that messed with Ethan’s head and now this. I want to see a baseline for their relationship without the constant storms, even when those storms are reasonable.

The plot is divided into 2 parallel and unrelated plot lines – though they come together at the end. And I like both of them, though I think they could have actually got going a bit faster than they did – I like the vampire murders and how it both opens both some of the world building in terms of the vampire’s history as well as the nature of vampire creation and how it can go badly wrong. I like the ongoing politics with the Greenwich Presidium, what the organisation means, what it means to House Vampires, what it used to mean and the manoeuvring around the contracts and devious manipulations are great fun. Both storylines also connect strongly with past events, the city’s ongoing loathing for vampires and the GP’s ongoing antipathy for House Cadogan. Both stories also contain plenty of hooks for the next book while still being full resolved as plotlines in and of themselves. It takes a lot of work to make stories so integral to the ongoing meta, not close that meta and still have them fully resolved within the book. I can’t complain about the pacing, the action – any part of it, it all worked.

The one minor point I didn’t like is the way they ended. The storyline I viewed as the more dominant, more important and more focused plotline ended first. It ended triumphantly, it ended awesomely and I have no problems with how it ended. Except there was a whole lot of book left. I felt like the main plot had ended and then we were clearing up a side plot line. To use a gaming comparison – I felt like I’d saved the day, then spent some time killing 10 wolves for the farmer in a side quest. I can’t think how it could have been done differently, but I was left with a sense of “wait, the story’s still going? Didn’t I finish this book?” It’s a small issue, vanishingly small, but it was an issue.

The Walking Dead, Season Three, Episode Nine: The Suicide King

We open right where we left off at the break, with Darryl and Merle surrounded by the residents of Woodbury. Andrea tries to talk to Philip but he says that it is not up to him anymore and that the people have chosen.  Philip demands that Meryl and Darryl fight to the death as Andrea begs him not to do this.  Merle raises his hands and says he is going to have to do whatever he has to do, to prove his loyalty is to Woodbury, then starts to punch and kick Darryl.When Darryl asks if Merle believes they are going to be let go, Merle tells him to follow his lead.

From a distance Maggie shoots the walkers in the ring and the others begin to attack.  Pandemonium breaks out and the residents start running.  In the confusion the group slips away, as Philip walks through the dust almost without a care in the world.  As they make their escape, Merle tries to lead the way pointing out that everyone is at the area. Rick tells Merle that he is not going anywhere with them, but Merle replies that they haven't got time for this.  The group leaves through a partition without closing it, thus allowing a walker to enter Woodbury.

When they meet up with Michonne and Glenn, they are not impressed to see Merle. Michonne grabs her katana pointing out that Merle tried to kill her and Rick puts a gun to her.  Merle tells Darryl that it looks like he is going native. Merle tells them that Andrea has been sleeping with Philip and that they found Michonne in the woods with her. Darryl tries to tell Merle to shut up and when he doesn't Rick knocks Merle unconscious.

Back at the prison, Hershel is taking care of Tyrese's group with medical attention.  They are surprised to see a baby amongst them and at first assume that the child belongs to Beth. Sasha says that this is the first decent people that they have met. Tyrese admits that there used to be 25 of them until their camp was over run. Tyrese comments that he must be the first brother in history to break into prison and Axel says that this makes him the first White boy who didn't want to break out.  Hershel warns Tyrese that they have a large close knit group and that they shouldn't get to comfortable there as he walks away, Tyrese says, "please you can see what type of people we are."

Darryl begs for them to take Merle back to the prison and argues that Merle is blood. Darryl points out that Merle knows how Philip thinks. They look over at Michonne and declare her too unpredictable. The others make it clear that Darryl belongs but not Merle and finally he says, "no Merle no me." When Glenn brings up Carol, Darryl says that she will understand.  Darryl starts to walk away, and Rick stops and says, that there has to be another way, but Darryl's mind is made up. Rick tries again and reminds Darryl that they started something last night.  Darryl walks away with Merle after telling Rick to take care of everyone. The rest start to get into the car and Rick tells Michonne that they will patch her up and then she has to go.

Back at the prison Tyrese's group prepares to bury their dead when Alan says that it's a golden opportunity for them to take over the prison because all they see is Carl, a woman, a girl and a one legged old man. Alan points out that the place is secure.Tyrese tells him to show some decency but Alan says that this survival of the fittest and that they shouldn't wait around to be thrown out on their asses.  Axel and Beth brings out a shovel and offers to help and Tyrese quickly takes it stopping Alan from attacking.

The group is forced to stop to move a truck out of the way.  When Glen opens the door, a zombie pops out and Glen promptly stomps it death. Glenn is upset that Rick didn't kill the governor and starts to scream about what the governor did to Maggie. Rick says that Darryl was the priority. Glenn is not happy that after all the effort and risks and screams, "do you know what he did to her?" Glenn is not pleased that after everything they've been through that Darryl left with Merle.  Rick says that this is the hand that they have been dealt.

Back in Woodbury, Philip has apparently looked himself in his apartment.  People have lined up at the gate trying to leave but Philip's men have the exit blockaded and say that no one leaves. Andrea tries to tell everyone to calm down and then tells Martinez that he is making things worse by threatening the citizens.  When they hear screams, they take off running and discover walkers feeding on people in the town.  Philip walks over and shoots the man in the head who the walker was feeding on.

Back at the prison, Carl complains about how quiet it is and Carol points out that it is easy to forget how loud the world used to be.  She tells him that his mother was proud of him. Their conversation is interrupted by Rick and everyone returning home.  Rick tell Carol that they run into Merle and that Darryl chose to leave with him. Carol is visibly shocked and hurt by this news.

Fangs for the Fantasy Books of the Week

 Every week on the Fangs for the Fantasy podcast (archives here) we read a book and discuss it on the show. The review for the book of the week always goes up on 3:00pm (EST) on a Monday (Monday’s book review).

To give people a chance to read along with us, every Monday we’re also going to include a list of our planned books of the week for the next few shows, so people can get the books, read them and join in the conversation.

4th February - 11th February: House Rules by Chloe Neil
11th February - 18th February: Moonshifted by Cassie Alexander
18th February - 25th February: King Makers by Griffiths
28th February - 4th March: Brilliant Devices by Shelley Adina
4th March-11th March: Frost Burned by Patricia Briggs
11th March-18th March: Summoning the Night by Jenn Bennet
18th March- 25th March: Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
25th March-1st April: The Struggle by L.J. Smith
 

Defiance Trailer

As we get closer to the release date of Defiance we're getting more tempting trailers - waiting for the 15th April

The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 13: Into the Wild

Get some happy music ready and top up your drinks, because it’s time for another episode of Vampire Diaries. You might want to open a window to let all the angst out.

We start a year ago – with Professor Shane running through the woods. Boo Vampire Diaries, all these people running through woods and none of them get killed and eaten. He is being followed by someone with long black hair and white face paint but doesn’t seem overly concerned about the matter and is more happy that he finds a mine. It has graffiti on the wall (or possibily ancient significant writing. Makes you think that in 2,000 years some archaeologist is going to ooh and aah over “bazza iz a tosser” sprayed on some subway tunnels) and a big, ominous hole.

Cut to the present and the whole gang has gone on a boat trip – an island 200 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia where the cure is hidden. And the immortal, Silas. (Isn’t it amazing how all these ancient immortal beings from Eurasia somehow wind up in the US?)

Elena and Rebekah still hate each other. The fact Rebekah now has a reason to loathe Elena for killing her brother would mean something if she hadn’t already hated Elena for so many petty reasons. Also, can someone remind me why she isn’t killing Elena? Especially with Klaus not being overly fussed with the whole hybrid thing any more? Damon dodges questions about whether he’ll take the cure or not.

Bonnie takes photos of Jeremy’s tattoos and tells the story they show: Silas approached a witch for a spell to make him immortal – but she then learned he meant to share that with another woman, not her. She became Rather Miffed and killed the other woman and imprisoned him in a cave for all eternity. This is Important Information and not in any way an excuse for Bonnie to rub her hands all over Jeremy’s rather impressive torso. Honest. Now witchy exposition requires you to flex a bit more, Jer… no? Awww… Shane interrupts with a much less fun exposition – Ketsya, the woman scorned, created the immortality cure and buried it with Silas in the hope he’d use it, kill himself and join her in the afterlife (y’know I can’t imagine why anyone would want an afterlife of eternal angst and bickering. It’d be like being locked in a small room with a television that played the Vampire Diaries on permanent loop). When he didn’t her descendants created the hunters to go find him, cure him and kill him.

Brief Klaus and Tyler interlude in which we have a vague discussion on whether curing an Original means that their entire line is cured or just them (and if just them, can you kill them without killing their line) ending with Klaus taunting Tyler about his dead mother.

Back to the island hike where Rebekah still hates Elena. And there’s legends of a well nearby that lets you see the lost souls of dead loved ones by bleeding into it – Shane tested the well to see his dead wife and son. Thinking he heard his dead wife whisper, he lowered himself into the well, fell and saw his wife, Caitlin. Damon sums up this story as “don’t eat the poisonous flowers.”

There’s also traps around the well – and a man tries to shoot Jeremy with a bow and arrow, but is stopped by someone else throwing an axe into his back.

Shane leads them to a camp (where college kids once camped before they were all drained of blood. Seriously, does every inch of this island have a creepy urban legend attached) and Damon doesn’t understand why they’re stopping just because it’s dark. And we have another Damon, Elena “I’ll till love you after I’m cured” moment.

Time for another Klaus interlude and now Caroline has come to join the party. Klaus tries to play good guy to her, bigging up the nice things he’s done, Caroline has a litany of the evil he’s done in response (shame no-one has one of those litanies for Damon and Stefan) and Klaus uses the furnishings to stab Caroline in the stomach and drag her into his little prison and bite her.

Back at the camp and Rebekah is afraid of ghosts and she and Stefan talk about the cure and being normal. Honestly, how many heart to heart talks about things that have already been long established do we need to have? And Bonnie is concerned that there’s no spell in Jeremy’s tattoos. Shane reassures her that she can use Expression which doesn’t need spells but Bonnie doesn’t trust him. So to build that trust he tells her about his wife being a witch (which he never told her before) who tried to use Expression to bring their son back from the dead and was overwhelmed and died because of it.

Why he thought this would build Bonnie’s trust and confidence is rather bemusing but I think the point is that she needs his help if she doesn’t want to die (personally the message I get is “hell no, I’m out of here!”) . This is apparently Shane’s proviso against being killed – force Bonnie to use magic which may kill her which they need Shane to control. I have to say, it’s lacking and does get himself a prime place on everyone’s shit list. During the night, Jeremy is taken by one of the shadowy figures.

Klaus interlude again, Caroline is panicking because Klaus bit her – and hybrid bites (well werewolf bites) kill vampires unless they can be cured with Klaus’s blood. Klaus makes Tyler beg, repeatedly – but ultimately refuses to help.

The camp wakes to find Jeremy missing and go off searching except for Bonnie, Jeremy and Shane – and Damon confronts Shane for the truth. Shane tells Damon about his dead wife telling him all about Silas and his ability to bring back the dead when Shane fell down the well of souls. All he needed was the spell off the Hunter’s mark and empower a descendent of Ketsya to perform it. Yes, Bonnie is a descendent. Are all witches in the world related? How many witches have been relatives of Bonnie now?!

Oh and the spell needs 3 massacres  - but they’ll be resurrected, honest – to bring Silas back because the amount of power needed to be channelled is unnatural. By using the wish to see dead loved ones again, Shane manipulated people into performing the massacres for him – like the Pastor who blew up the farmhouse.  Damon then does that maths and realises they’ve had 2 massacres – the Pastor’s farmhouse fireworks and the Hybrid Holiday Massacre – there’s one more to come. And they’re all isolated in the middle of nowhere. Damon spies some rope and pulls 8 levels of menace out of somewhere – see, see, this show can give us some great acting.

Bonnie performs a finding spell to find Jeremy – and follows a trail of flame heading off into the forest (only you can stop forest fires!)  And Rebekah and Elena still hate each other, yet Rebekah still saves Elena’s life from a trap – WHYYY?!

Klaus interlude! Caroline and Tyler are all gooshy together. And he leaves Caroline with Klaus saying if he’s going to kill Caroline, he will have to watch the consequences.

Beauty and the Beast: Season 1, Episode 12: Cold Turkey

It’s a bar, Heather is singing karaoke (badly) while Catherine and Tess drink. Since Tess is talking, the subject is, of course, men (Tess has no concept of the Bechdel test). Catherine is venting over Vincent choosing the other woman – or, rather, the stuff she brings with her based on her ignorance of what he is. Of course she can’t say this and instead says Vincent has issues – PTSD that gives him a temper (ugh, no, do not drag mentally ill people into this and certainly not like this – as if PSTD means he is dangerous and violent and shouldn’t be in a relationship). Heather and Tess become concerned when Catherine talks warningly about his “temper.” Tess hits on the idea that he’s abusive, which Catherine denies and then has a second plan of telling Alex all about his issues. Catherine rejects this as well. The conclusion is Catherine is still hanging on and we finish with “I am woman hear me drink!”

 This whole scene was to recap last week and remind us that Heather and Tess exist.

Homeward, to Catherine eating ice cream and watching a scary movie when Alex drops by! It’s the middle of the night and she looked up Catherine’s address from her medical file – and this is totally not creepy guys! She’s here to ask if she can take Vincent to her family’s cabin for the weekend – since she thinks Catherine is Vincent’s handler she wants to check it with her first. And she knows about Vincent – or thinks she does; she knows he worked for special ops, people are trying to kill him and pretends to be dead. So… she doesn’t really. The conversation is the most awkward thing ever with both sides trying to be polite while Alex is tense about “sharing” Vincent with Catherine since he tells her so much and Catherine just wants Alex to take this whole thing to Vincent rather than dragging her into this.

Jogging the next day, Catherine is joined by Vincent apologising for Alex coming round and sensing she’s mad (awesome super hero powers). He assures her it’s not about choosing Alex other Catherine (reaaaaly? Because it looks a lot like it), it’s about choosing a future (one where he faces reality or one where he dances in la-la land). He also gets huffy when Catherine points out that Alex doesn’t know who he is (Catherine backs down, why, it’s the truth?) and he just wants to make sure she’s all ok with it. Catherine announces she’s cold turkey and doesn’t want to be involved in any of it. He huffs off, apparently not realising how tacky it is to try and drag your recently dumped ex into your current relationship issues.

To work – with Tess where Catherine worries she has been too harsh and driven Vincent away (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh). Tess, who may be getting as sick of Catherine’s relationship woes as I am, insists they focus on work (Tess’s second topic of conversation). But work gives her chance to investigate a narcotics ring at New York general. They have warrants for several nurses, including Alex – the raids go at noon and Catherine wants to raid Alex. Hold it! NOT for petty revenge reasons – but so she can rush out and warn JT that Alex is going to get raided. But they’re already at the cabin where there’s no signal. Catherine worries that the raid may find Vincent’s finger prints – and decides to go over and remove the memorabilia and wipe everything down.

Catherine, you need to get off the floor and wipe off that “Welcome” written across your back.

Tess calls Catherine while she’s busy destroying evidence (interrupting her distraction over a romantic gift) but it’s only because she suspects Catherine went to see her guy. They raid Alex’s and find nothing – except the sexy lingerie. Tess realises that that means Alex has a boyfriend (going by the receipt, apparently) and she could be stashing drugs at his place – deflecting Catherine’s attempted deflections. And Catherine finds something – a bug.

She takes the bug to JT (has she just ran out on work? Again?) and they conclude that Muirfield is onto Alex, possibly due to the DNA found on Alex’s stalker. JT realises he has to stop Evan presenting his evidence – which he is doing today – about Vincent. So that leaves Catherine to go to the cabin and talk to Vincent and Alex. Catherine really doesn’t love this idea, especially with her plan to move on and JT is at least a little sympathetic.

Vincent and Alex are driving away and she’s making big big plans about leaving the country and being doctors in a poverty struck nation (she’s not mad fussed on which one – any poor country will do) while Vincent realises he’ll need a passport, get through airport security – the whole deal.

They arrive at the cabin and Alex has fixated on them moving to Mexico (how long has he been back? And she’s constantly talking about moving to a foreign country and living the rest of their life together after, at most, a couple of weeks’ re-acquaintance? Y’know, Alex really is kinda creepy). He starts to tell the big secret and dismally fails to do so.

When a man knocks at the door – he’s broken down and there’s no phone service. Or so he says – Vincent sees him sweating but agrees to go with him. Which leaves Alex alone when Catherine arrives. Catherine has no time for Alex’s worry about any relationship between her and Vincent, nor does she more than ruefully laugh at Vincent implying he had PTSD – she tells Alex about the bug and that the man Vincent left with could be a trap. Shelve the issues, she has to find him.

Vincent isn’t a fool and pulls off the road and starts menacing the lying guy. He keeps lying but Vincent points out he has a garage t-shirt and grease under his nails – he can fix his own truck without Vincent. When Vincent grabs him by the neck he confesses that 3 guys paid him $1,000 to lure Vincent out. He tells the man to run

Catherine goes into the woods and finds Vincent (her random direction picking worked!) And they bicker. No, really, they bicker. 3 people out there trying to kill or kidnap them and they have a tiff. In the middle of the woods, with her gun drawn. Thankfully the bad guys are as embarrassed by this as I am and start making noise, distracting their attention. Vincent uses he new nifty night vision to see them, confirming 3. They have a firefight in the dark (none of them have night vision goggles of any kind so that’s fun and effective) until 1 throws a grenade (or possibly a flashbang). Catherine falls over all woozy and fuzzy, but Vincent goes all bestial. Catherine’s only out for a second and quickly joins the fight, shooting one guy to save Vincent and knocking another down. When he manages to trip her, Vincent grabs him and something cracks, probably a neck. They have a little make up moment, Catherine understanding why Vincent wants a new life, but he doesn’t want her to have to hide from Murifield and her.