Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Six (series finale)

After five seasons, Being Human (UK) has aired it's final episode. I am not going to do a typical recap because I think a series finale deserves more.

The major antagonist this season was the devil.  It makes sense that the writers and producers would choose to go with the ultimate evil, firm in the knowledge that the story would be coming to an end. Throughout all five seasons, Being Human (UK) has been based on the friendship between a ghost, werewolf and a vampire, and their desire to retain as much of their humanity as possible. I don't believe that I am wrong in saying that friendship is what made Being Human so unique.  It is part of why I was worried when the original cast was completely replaced at the end of season four.  Given the short time that the writers had to make Alex, Hal and Tom into a realistic pseudo family, they did a wonderful job. I loved the interactions between them, just as much as I loved the relationship between Mitchell and George.

I felt that Alex in her short stint was far more interwoven into the lives of Hal and Tom, than Annie was with George and Mitchell. It came with the added bonus of having Alex tackle sexism.  On more than one occasion, Alex had to make it clear that she was not content to play the little woman, while Tom and Hal ran off to make the money. Her sense of confidence, is something I wish we could have seen more of from Annie. It makes to have a female character have to deal with sexism, especially from an archaic patriarchal male like Hal and while I appreciated this, it made me wonder why Annie who was of colour and also a woman never had to deal with issues surrounding her gender and race. Annie's issues mainly had to do with her being a ghost for the majority of appearance on the show.  It's only is season one that has to deal with gender issues like the attempted assault by Tully and of course her murdering fiancee Owen. In the case of Owen, Mitchell wanted him to leave but it was George who had the final say.  George did not disown Owen until he discovered that Owen was responsible for turning him into a werewolf.  This firmly positions Annie as another in this three part relationship.  It's George's assault that matters not Annie's.  Annie didn't actually come into any power until both George and Mitchell died and then she ended up sacrificing her own after life whereas; Alex is given a real second chance at life.

Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Five: No Care, All Responsibility

This episode begins 15 years ago with Domenic giving a tour of a makeshift vampire created blood bank.  All the humans are dead and lying on filthy mattresses. Domenic tells the trainees that the vampires like to think that they are in control but "no matter how civilized the arrangement, the monster is simply lying in wait." They continue to make their way through until they come across a little girl who is cuddling a teddy bear.  Dominic first checks to make sure the girl has a reflection and then he holds out his hands to her, promising that he won't hurt her. Vampires appear and kill the two men he is with and Domenic holds out a cross to protect himself.

In present day, Hal is in the middle of doing his routine push ups when he gets an urge (thanks BBC3 for the topless Damien Molony). He doesn't try to fight it long, before getting up and grabbing a bottle of blood and drinking it.  Alex pops in to announce a house meeting, and Hal quickly hides the bottle.  Tom knocks on the door, opens it up and says that they have to get through this quickly because he is late for work. Alex says that Bobby didn't want to kill himself and that she remembers Bobby speaking to Hatch.  She also says that she is 99% sure that Hatch looked at her.  Alex then has Tom recite a question that she wants him to ask the captain about his belief in the occult and if he has ever had a near death experience.  Tom takes off as Hal sighs.  Alex asks what Hal's deal is because apparently the last two days, all he has done is work out and sing show tunes. Alex believes that what is really bothering Hal is what Crumb had to say about the two about them.  She suggests that they both need to talk about this some night when Tom is at work.

Hal and Alex go to see Domenic to talk about Bobby's death. Domenic says that he believes that the suicides are the work of  type one - a ghost.  Alex grabs the file and disappears. Hal then puts the empty bottle of blood on the desk and asks for a refill but Domenic says that they don't have anymore blood, now that they no longer have human donors. Hal walks away quickly.

Domenic has gone to see Hatch and says that he needs more time to get the piece into place.  Hatch tells him that having a vampire and a werewolf living in the same building means an opportunity that won't come again soon. Hatch encourages Domenic saying that it while t may seem that his department is dying, there's plenty of life left in it. Domenic tells the captain that he is a real boon to him. Hatch tells him not to worry about the ghost because they have a habit on fading away.

Hatch and Tom are outside and Tom tries to ask Alex's question but he keeps stumbling through it. Tom stops asking questions when he sees a young woman struggling with a man.  She makes her getaway and runs into the hotel.  When the man moves to follow, Tom blocks the entrance to the hotel and threatens to call the police. He follows the girl into the hotel and she reads the message on his hand.  When she starts to leave, Tom tells her to stay so that he can take care of her hand.

They are in the kitchen when Hal walks in.  Hal is overwhelmed by the smell of blood as Tom announces that they are hiring Natasha. When Natasha holds out her injured hand, Hal refuses to shake it, though Tom tells him not to be rude.  Hal heads out to the front desk and runs into Alex who is looking through the files.  She discovers that these suicides go on for years and as far back as 1987, Hatch was mentioned as a witness.

Hal is freaking out, so he drops a jar of paperclips on the ground and starts lining them up by their colour.  Tom and Alex stay out of view and peep at Natasha.  Alex declares that Natasha is not a ghost and asks if she tried to bite someone. Tom says no and that she is not a werewolf. Tom admits that Natasha made him feel things and asks what happens if she is a succubus or something. Alex asks if Natasha came on to him and Tom says no, so Alex suggests that Tom just has the hots for Natasha. Tom denies this and says that he likes Allison but Alex says that she can like more than one girl.

Alex heads over to Natasha and waves her fingers in front of her and then lifts her skirt.  This shocks Tom who yells out her name, thus catching Natasha's attention so he lies unconvincingly to cover it up. Tom leaves the room and starts to sing about Tom having a crush. Tom says that he can't do the whole pants thing because Natasha is not the one - Allison is. Alex tells him that he and Alex are the one and that people test the water and that this is just what people do.

Hal has colour coordinated all of the paper clips, when Natasha walks in and asks him if he is alright. Hal leaves the room and at the front door, a man shows him a picture of Natasha and asks if he has seen her. Hal lies and says no.  Later, Hal sits down with Natasha and says that he doesn't mean her any harm but that his priority must be the hotel. Natasha says that she stole some money from his boss when she was a kid but that she is straight now.  Tom stands and says that he will make sure that she is paid for the rest of the week. When he gets up to walk away, Natasha says that it's her hand and that he must have it bad if he wants her out this quickly. "I know what withdrawal looks like and you're in the worst of it," Natasha says. Hal asks her how, and she says the mirror and that he would have noticed if he wasn't so out of it.  Hal sits back down and asks if Natasha knows what he is.  Natasha says that she has been around his type before and that Hal is not like the others.

Hal says that he is worse than the others but Natasha points out that Tom trusts him. Natasha tells him that he is killing himself trying to do the right thing. Hal begins to focus on the blood and says that he can smell it and when she is close enough he can almost taste it.  Hal again says that she needs to go and so Natasha asks what he is going to do if the chef cuts his finger and points out that he just can't fire anyone with a paper cut. Natasha tells him that he is going to hurt someone and offers to help him if he lets her stay there. Natasha offers to allow Hal to drink from her.  Hal tells her that she doesn't know what she is offering but Natasha says that she knows what will happen if that guy catches up with her again.

Hal and Natasha go into a private room. He takes off his watch and tells her to let him feed for ten seconds.  He then hands her a stake and says that he if refuses to stop that she has to stake him. Hal sits next to her on the bed and then moves to bite her neck but she stops him saying that people are going to see if he does it there and then offers up the vein in her thigh.  Hal gets on his knees and looks once more to Natasha for permission before biting her. Hal feeds until Natasha pushes him off and he says that it's good and not to tell Tom.  Natasha agrees before walking out.

Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Four: The Greater Good

Domenic has has gone to see Bobby, who is packing up after being notified that Domenic's big plan is to approach the Chinese to get funding to continue his work. Bobby asks about Tom and Domenic gets frustrated and says that he has made a temporary arrangement and that with the electricity about to go down, they won't have any way to contain him.

Domenic brings Bobby over to the house and Tom refuses to take responsibility for him.  Hal says that after several bad interactions that they have made a pledge to avoid contact with other supernaturals. Domenic assures them that Bobby is no trouble.  Bobby simply stares and doesn't say a word because he is too shocked by the presence of Alex.  Domenic again asserts that Bobby needs to stay with people who have the experience and tools to deal with him and that the household owes him a favor for looking after Ian.  Domenic goes on to add that Crumb has recently killed six people and has formed an alliance with Alan, an ex associate.  Domenic says he wants them to deal with Crumb and Alan however they see fit.  Hal asserts that this is not his responsibility but Domenic reminds him that he made Crumb and has cost his department a lot of time and resources over centuries and says that this is his chance to give something back. Hal tells Tom that he wouldn't have to look after Bobby but Tom asks about work.  Domenic leaves saying that he will be back before the full moon.

Hal and Alex go to see Crumb. When Crumb opens the door, he is wearing blue underwear and his chest is covered in blood. This is a sight that I never need to see again btw.   When they enter the apartment, they find the walls are covered in blood and Alan surrounded by dead people that they have fed on.  Alan tells Hal that he has read his file and that he is a huge fan. Hal tells Ian that this has to stop and though he understands the thrill of this new found power, sooner or later it will give way to guilt and horror. Alex drags Hal out into the hallway and declares both Crumb and Alan nuts, then suggests that they stake them both. Hal reminds Alex that Domenic said he could deal with Ian however he saw fit, but Alex feels that this was a suggestion that they kebab Ian. Hal says that there has been enough death and violence and that they can help both Ian and Alan and do some good.  When they go back into the room, Hal tells Ian that he wants to help him. Crumb reminds Hal that when he asked for help, Hal turned his back. Hal replies that with their help, they can leave this all behind, have friends, careers, and even lovers.  Crumb holds out his hand and says that they are in.

Tom is busy ironing and Bobby is peppering him with questions, which is getting on Tom's last nerve.  Alex, and Hal enter with Alan and Crumb in tow.  Alan pauses when he sees Bobby and tells Crumb that Bobby is a wolf from the archive. Bobby says that he lives there now and that Tom is looking after him.  When Hal adds that Bobby is another temporary house guest,  Tom asks for clarification and so Hal says that Crumb and Alan will be staying there while they help them get off the blood.Tom walks out of the room in disgust and Hal and Alex follow.

In the other room, Hal says that by bringing Alan and Crumb into their pack,they are making it bigger and stronger because helping Alan and Crumb will help them.  Alex quickly asserts that she doesn't trust Alan and Crumb. Hal responds," good, don't, they're junkies but with the right sort of help they can be redeemed. If I can be redeemed surely they can as well." Alex makes it clear that she is not cleaning up any poo. Tom says that he is going to work but Hal reminds him how difficult the first stages of blood withdrawal can be and suggests that this wouldn't be a good thing for Bobby to see. Tom again says that he is not bringing Bobby to the hotel, which shocks Alex.  Tom says, "just look at him. He's smelly and hairy and asks loads of stupid questions all of the time." Hal crosses his arms and replies, "oh my God man, you're a snob."  Tom tells him to shut up but Alex chimes in with, "no, he's right. You've got a house and a job and now you've become a snob." Tom tells Bobby that they are leaving.  As they head toward the door, Hal asks Tom for some of his blood.

When Tom and Bobby arrive at the hotel, Captain Hatch is busy whispering to himself in a chair. Tom gets Bobby to sit in a chair and instructs him not to touch anything or talk to anyone excusing his abruptness by saying that they are rushed off their feet, though the dining room is empty with the exception of Captain Hatch. Bobby asks to sit in a smaller room and Tom tells him no and then storms out.  Hatch turns and fixes Bobby with an evil glare.

Alan and Crumb are now tied to chairs in a basement where Hal is instructing them that they will experience guilt, nightmares, cramps and will wish they were dead. Hal assures them that when they make it through to the other side that they will appreciate life even more. Alex reveals two glasses containing blood. One contains human blood and the other werewolf blood and then starts to spin them around making it hard to discern which is which. Hal tells Crumb and Alan that both glasses will kill them and that if at any point they feel they cannot go clean, they make take glass, but they must be prepared to die.  Crumb asks why Alex is still there given what Hal has done and she replies that everyday he is trying to be something better and she respects that.

At the hotel, Bobby is hiding under the table when Tom discovers him.  Tom climbs under the table and asks how long Bobby was locked up in the institute.  Bobby replies 33 years and then goes back to asking Tom if he has an answering machine yet. Tom asks what happened and Bobby tells him that went fishing and a werewolf run past, cut his back and pushed him into the water when he was 12 years old. Tom tells him that it's not his fault but Bobby says that Domenic has told him that he is a savage and that society needs to be protected from him.  Tom tells Bobby that he is out now and that this is a chance to make things different and make something of himself.  Tom promises that tomorrow he will show Bobby the ropes.

Back at the house, Crumb has started seeing visions of the people he has killed. Alan tells him that no one is there and that it's just the lack of blood.  Alan is busy working on untying himself and is shocked that Crumb is attempting to detox for real.  Alan laughs and says that Crumb is only doing this because he fancies Alex. Alan asks why someone like Alex would go for someone like Crumb but all Crumb sees is Hazel - the woman he killed last night. Alan adds that Alex is practically shagging Hal and says, "there's Hal with the body of a Greek God and then there's you, with the body of a Greek waiter," as he undoes the last of his restraints.  Alan then gets up and starts to free Crumb, who then stakes him in a fit of rage.

Bobby is dressed in uniform and Tom  is teaching him how to answer the phones. Bobby is worried that this is moving too fast for him but Tom assures him that he did it, so Bobby can do it as well.  Bobby says that Tom is brilliant and Tom is clearly pleased with the complement.

When Alex and Tom go downstairs to check on Crumb and Alan, they find that Alan is dead.  Crumb tells them that Alan got out in the middle of the night and tried to make him drink blood. Crumb says that Alan was his only friend and that he put a stake through his heart because he wants to be clean. Crumb then points out that he didn't drink the blood because he wants their help.

The training session of Bobby and Crumb has begun.  It's actually quite hilarious. During a session of meditation, Crumb remembers the scream his niece made when he killed her and declares that he wants some blood. Hal tells him that this is good and that he needs to hold onto this memory because this is what he needs to think about the next time he wants to kill. Crumb asks what Hal thinks about because he needs to know that one can remain clean. Hal says that he thinks about a woman named Sylvie, who he killed over 200 years ago. Hal says that he loved her and that Sylvie thought that she could save him. Crumb asks if Hal is with Alex now because he can't kill her and Hal admits that he and Alex are not a couple.

Alex enters the room and Hal leaves.  Crumb tells her that doing this makes him think of all of the horrible things he has ever done in his life. Crumb then goes to stand next to Alex and asks how long they can keep up the charade. He then asks Alex if he can treat her to a fish supper and she tells him to hold that thought and leaves.  Alex goes to find Hal and tells him about Crumb's dinner invitation. Hal says that this is not a good idea and Alex replies, "I wasn't thinking it, I only told you so that we could toss our heads back and laugh smugly but once again you have ruined my fun." Hal says that he is not sure that they should continue this and wonders if they are ever really truly safe and if they can ever truly assimilate.  Alex assures Hal and points to him as an example that this is not futile. She adds that everything he said to Crumb about having a normal life is true but Hal says that they are pretending, dressing up. Alex replies that it's keeping them safe because it stops her from going loopy like Mary and him from killing. Hal replies that all they are doing is marking time until the inevitable happens. Alex assures him that they have to grab every scrap of humanity they can and says that she will go out with Crumb to prove that normality can happen.

The Portrayal of Addiction in Urban Fantasy

Because urban fantasy is thought of as unimportant fluff, it often gets a pass on many of the isms that it perpetuates. It never ceases to amaze me that in a genre which is filled with fantastical elements that so many find it difficult to create a world in which serious issues and marginalisations can be discussed or included in anything approaching a realistic or inclusive manner. Appropriation is absolutely rampant in the genre and it is quite common to take serious issues and minimise them by equating them to fantastical creatures. The viewer or reader is meant to identify with the issues of the supernatural creature, even as the portrayal leaves so much to be desired that it ends up stigmatising the very issue that the genre is supposedly discussing.

One of the recurring topics which urban fantasy has sought to integrate is addiction. One of the most obvious examples in the genre is clearly Being Human (UK).  Vampirism in Being Human (UK) is clearly a metaphor for addiction because the vampires in this series can exist for extended periods of time without consuming blood; however, the moment they are turned, they develop an overwhelming desire to consume blood. Essentially, the battle for each vampire seeking to assimilate is to forgo the consumption of blood thereby; making the consumption of blood a moral failing. By making vampirism a metaphor for addiction, Being Human (UK) is essentially saying that addiction in and of itself is monstrous and so are the addicted. This is highly problematic because even though those who love and support the addicted individual suffer, no one suffers more than the addicted person themselves.

It is clear that Being Human (UK) is attempting to create an equivalency between an addicted human and a vampire. While to some degree the biological nature is explored because it is not coincidental that children of alcoholics are far more likely to become alcoholics themselves. However, a propensity for addiction does not make addiction an inherent part of any person’s nature, not even if they go on to become an addict. This contrasts sharply with the blood hunger of a vampire which, by definition, is an inherent, unchanging biological element of who and what they are.

Being Human (UK) is not the only Urban Fantasy to use themes of addiction when it comes to the supernatural. We’ve seen the same themes in Buffy, Secret Circle and even the latest season of The Vampire Diaries, have their addictive dark magic episodes and themes, Being Human (US) even had body hopping addiction with Sally. It’s common in books as well, with Chloe Neil’s Chicagoland vampires exploring magic addiction. Addiction, whether it be to blood, magic, forbidden arts or innumerable other supernatural elements continues to be raised in the genre - but in nearly all cases, addiction is linked to the damage it does to others. The addict is shameful and needs to be stopped not for their own sake, but because of the people they hurt. No-one is stopping Willow or Mallory or worried about Cassie’s dark magic because them living with addiction so much as they are afraid of the people their powers will hurt. No-one is concerned about the difficulties vampires must endure with their blood addiction, interventions are motivated by fear for their victims.

Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Three: Pie and Prejudice

Nine months in the past, Larry Crysler is busy doing the evening news and is not pleased with the performance of his support staff.  He walks out into the parking lot and drops something as he is standing behind his car, when a shadowy figure attacks him and scratches him. Clearly he has been attacked by a werewolf.

Tom and Hal are back at work and Tom is complaining because Hal has been made acting manager. Hal believes it's temporary until Patsy returns but Tom is not in the least bit calmed by this and says that until Patsy returns, Hal will be giving him orders. Tom threatens to walk out and reminds Hal that it's the full moon but Hal says that he cannot walk out because he has already scheduled him the night out.  Larry Crysler walks in and interrupts their conversation and asks about lighting choice because it seems that he has a speaking engagement there that night. Larry begins doing his speech.

Larry is using the bathroom and Hal approaches and introduces himself.   Tom asks for an autograph and says that it's great that Larry is famous.

Dominic smashes a radio after listening to the secretary of state talking about cuts. Clearly, the man is still very much unhinged. 

Back at home, Tom tells Alex that Hal has a girlfriend and then clarifies to say that Hal is visiting a girl.  Hal says that it's simply an acquaintance, nothing more. Alex says, "an acquaintance with the Lady Mary, surely that's prison slang." Tom reminds Hal that he is not to hang around anyone with fangs but Hal assures Tom that the Lady Mary is a ghost who died some years ago. Alex is surprised that Hal knows another female ghost and suggests that the two would get along.  Hal is not keen on this and calls Lady Mary fragile and suggests that Alex is capable of corrupting Keith Richards.

Hal is visiting with Lady Mary, when Alex appears and introduces herself. Hal quickly drags her away and she says that she has no one to talk to about ghost stuff.  Hal reluctantly introduces Alex. Lady Mary assumes that Hal and Alex are a couple but Alex and Hal make it clear very quickly that there is nothing between them.  Hal apologizes for Alex and she replies that Alex has a boisterous charm and that she wishes her finishing school was still open.  The Lady Mary quickly dismisses Hal and sets about chatting with Alex.  As soon as Hal is gone, the Lady Mary drops her 18th century persona and says that it bores her to death.

Back at the hotel Larry Crysler is busy taking food off of the tables.  Hal approaches and says that he thought Larry would be leaving today but Larry replies that his management company negotiated for him to stay there for a week. Hal asks if Larry is going out tonight and then informs him that he is to vacate his room by tomorrow morning, as Larry continues to pack food.

The Lady Mary and Alex head off to a club and Alex says that she and Hal had a date once and then it didn't go to well. The Lady Mary keeps touching people's heads so that she can read their minds. Alex points out that Lady Mary has clearly changed over the years.  Lady Mary says that she reads, watches tv, and has tried to keep up with the world. Lady Mary instigates a fight between two patrons as Alex watches.

Larry is coming down the stairs when he runs into Tom.

Back at the club, Mary is touching people who are in the bathroom having sex.  She encourages Alex to join saying that she is going to miss it but Alex says no thanks.  When the man starts to orgasm, so does Lady Mary.

The next morning, Larry returns wearing a dress and he claims to have had a crazy night but Tom tells him that he is a werewolf as well.  Tom says that though he is a werewolf that he has never been anywhere posh like Larry.  Tom lets it slip that he lives in a house with people and Larry wants to know if the people know what they are. When Tom says yes, Larry begins to chatter about the secret to his success and then asks how big the house he lives in is.

Hal is working on a puzzle, when Alex tells him that they need to have a conversation about Mary.  When Hal reminds Alex that he told her that Mary would be dull, Alex replies, "dull is not the word I would use, crazy sort of bat shit shocking is more the flavour. Mary is not the person you think she is. The whole posh totty thing is just an act." Hal asks why on earth Mary would do this and Alex replies, "I don't know and I don't care but what I'm worried about is the fact that she has been stuck her for two hundred years and it's turned her into a total frothing lune. Is that what's going to happen to me?"  Hal assures Alex that even if she doesn't pass over for awhile, he is certain that she will cope with it because Alex and Mary are completely different people. Alex points out that Mary had a thing with Hal died and then got stuck there as a ghost.

Larry shows up at the apartment and Tom introduces him to everyone as a werewolf.  Tom says that Larry is going to teach him how to become a successful werewolf and asks Hal how he feels about that. Larry asks if Hal is a werewolf as well and Hal says that he is a vampire and Alex says that she is a ghost. Larry doesn't take this seriously and believes that Hal is joking. Why in the world he would have trouble believing in ghosts when he himself is a werewolf is beyond me. When Alex points out that Larry brought along a suitcase, Larry says that he's tutoring can be extensive and that he thought that rather than go back and forth, he would just stay there for awhile. Hal says, "great the more the merrier," but Tom jumps in and says, "you're not the boss of me here. I can do what I want."

Upstairs Larry hands Tom a book and tells him that this is his new bible.  Hal talks about how he and McNair were never really separated and that McNair protected him from the world. Larry then takes off his suit and hands it to Tom, saying that the clothes make the man.  Larry then asks Tom to lend him one hundred and fifty pounds because he has a cash flow problem and Tom agrees to help, though he makes it clear that it's just a loan.

Tom shows up at work in Larry's jacket and tells Hal that is there to congratulate him on his new position as manager.  Tom pulls a card out of his pocket, which says Tom McNair inc, and Hal points out that there should be a phone number or an email on it. Tom takes it back and says that he will call Hal and adds that there is a new player in town. Tom then walks off and starts to shmoose with people.  Back in the car,  Larry instructs Tom to bash in the car window of a BMW. It seems that the car now belongs to Larry's ex wife and he is bitter about how the relationship ended and the divorce settlement which saw most of Larry's assets get transferred to her. When Tom resists, Larry suggests that he is pushing Tom to fast and then sends Tom to let the air out of all of the tires.

Lady Mary and Alex are talking about her life.  Mary says that she goes off and has adventures and then makes sure that she is back on time for Hal. Alex asks about Mary's unfinished business and Mary says that it's all sorted out and that she has had loads of doors appear, she just turns them all down. When Alex asks why, Mary says that Hal needs her though he has Alex and others, she and Hal have something special. Mary believes that Hal seeing her, keeps Hal clean because she was his last victim. Alex asks if this is what Hal told her and then quickly adds that it's not her business and that all of these lies are not healthy.  Alex suggests that Mary tell Hal who she really is and Mary asks what if Hal doesn't like the new her.  Alex then suggests that Mary come with her to see her world.

Being Human (UK) Season Five, Episode Two

 

This episode opens three months in the past and Alex is dressed to go on her date with Hal but she is at a fair with a little boy.  He wants to know if Alex is going out tonight, who is going to wash up and make dinner.  Alex says that it's her holiday as well and promises to return to the fair with him the next day because they have all of the time in the world.

In the present, at the hotel, Alex is chattering away and Tom and Hal are trying to organize their chores. In frustration, Hal says, "Alex please!"  When she asks if they want her to shut up, Hal gets all smooth and says that she is "vibrant and entertaining company and is distracting them."  Alex replies, "what am I supposed to do? I can't eat and I can't sleep." What none of them know is that the devil is pretending to read a newspaper in the lobby and is watching them.  Tom asks Alex what she used to d do before and Alex replies that she looked after her brothers, went off the piss with her mates and played the piano. It turns out that Alex was going to be a concert pianist. Alex realises that Diagnosis Murder is on and disappears.

Patsy is arranging some flowers and the Captain (read: the devil)  asks if she has an admirer but Patsy replies that she picked them up at the petrol station thinking that it might brighten the place up a bit. Patsy goes on to add that she keeps thinking about Sophie (the girl the captain talked into committing suicide) and the captain asks, "that poor girl, was it something I said?" Patsy tells him that Sophie adored him and that he cannot blame himself. The captain replies that he has a plan to lift the spirits and as he and Patsy leave the room, the flowers that she just laid out appear visibly dead.

Alex is sitting at an organ playing when the hand of a child touches her shoulder.  When she turns around, no one is there.

Patsy talks to Hal and Tom and says that she will be watching them and that whoever impresses her the most, will be named employee of the month. She wishes them the best of luck but winks at Hal. Patsy then turns and leaves. Hal says that this is why the world is going to hell in a hand basket and cannot believe that people need competition for them to do their jobs properly. When he turns, Hal finds that Tom has straightened his clothing. Tom says, "game on, you will have your work cut out if you want to beat me buddy boy."  At first, Hal says that he is not going to compete, but Tom counters saying that Hal doesn't want to try because he knows he will be beaten.  Tom says that it would be the easiest thing in the world for him to win this ridiculous competition. The two start bickering, until Hal says that he accepts the challenge. The two head into the kitchen grab cleaning supplies and head out.

Alex decides to venture downstairs.  As she looks around, she hears a voice calling her name.  When she heads into the bathroom, she sees a sink and turns on the water and the noise gets deafening.

In the main room, Tom tosses out the dead flowers.  Patsy enters and asks where the flowers are, so Tom says that he has taken care of it. Patsy is not impressed and informs Tom that this is 7.99 down the drain and will be coming out of his wages.  Hal snarks that this has put Tom in Patsy's bad books. Alex bursts into the room and says that she believes their house is haunted.

The three return home and head downstairs, as a door slams.  When Alex says, "see now do you believe me?" The ghost repeats what she says.  They  find a little boy sitting in a room by himself. Tom and Hal ask Alex what the little boy is doing there and what he wants, and Alex replies that she doesn't know.  Tom then proceeds to tease her about being to scared to find out. Alex tells Hal to go in and ask, but Hal says that he can't.  Tom and Hal finally push Alex through the door. The ghost says hello to Alex and admits that he has been watching her. He adds that Tom and Hal are hiding outside the door.  Hal and Tom join them in the room.  The ghost says that his name is Oliver and then he falls to the ground coughing.  He looks up at Hal and asks to be carried. Hal says, "children and I don't mix," so Oliver asks, "Your manservant then?"  Tom quickly denies that he is Hal's manservant. Hal then offers Oliver a piggy back and he stops coughing.

Alex asks where Oliver came from and what he is doing there.  Oliver says that this is his house and that he has always lived there. Tom wants to know why they have never met and Oliver replies that he was hiding from the monster - the man with sticks and rope, who are guardians of the afterlife. Hal says that they cannot exist on this side but Oliver replies that he thought it best to keep a low profile. Oliver claims that he came out of hiding because he saw Alex, though she isn't much to look at. Oliver asks what happened to Alex's hair and wants to know if it's because of an industrial accident.  They move into the living room, where Oliver encourages them to make themselves at home.  

Alex decides that this would be a good time for a housemates meeting. When they step aside, Oliver joins them but Alex says, "just the grown ups."  Alex asks how he could have been living there for so long without anyone realising.  Hal adds, "more to the point, we can't turn him over to social services." Hal suggests that Alex look after him because she is good with kids, but Alex replies, "that little thumper over there is not one of my little brothers."  Oliver then falls to the ground and calls out for a blanket, so Tom rushes to his side and puts him on the couch. Tom says, "we don't want you getting poorly now do we." When Alex points out that Oliver has been dead for a hundred years, Oliver coughs. Alex suggests that Oliver is faking and as she talks about her brothers, Tom and Hal leave the room. Alex tells Oliver, that he might be able to fool Tom and Hal but she has seen this all before and orders Oliver to get up.

Hal and Tom return to work and Hal explains to Patsy that they were called away by a domestic emergency.  Patsy says that she has the smoking gun and saw Tom on the security camera. Patsy says that it's noble for Hal to take the blame and tells Tom that he needs to pull his socks up. Tom walks off as Hal calls after him and says that it's funny.

Dominic is on the phone with Ian's sister and tells her that a friendly face would really help Ian out. He informs her that a car will be there to pick her up shortly. Dominic heads off to see Ian and asks him how he is feeling today. Ian says that he needs to feed and that it has to happen soon. Dominic asks Ian if he remembers what they talked about the other day. Ian replies that he knows Dominic has a very special job for him. Dominic says that he has a job which demands skill and delicacy and reminds Ian that he said he was the world's worst nightmare - the victim who gets super powers. Dominic tells Ian that his hour approaches.

Hal is disinfecting the keyboard of the cash register with a q-tip and pure alcohol, as Tom is vacuuming. Tom says that he would never think of doing that and this is why he isn't going to win the competition. Hal says that this isn't part of the competition and is surprised that this isn't something everyone does.  Tom replies that he knows Patsy prefers Hal, but he believed that if he worked hard that he could change her mind. Hal adds that he is not interested in the competition but Tom is upset because he wanted to add employee of the month to his CV and adds that he has never had a CV. Hal assures Tom that he can have a CV and offers to type him one, as soon as he is done with the register. Tom says that he wanted to better himself and that he believed that this was his chance.

As the two are leaving, Hal suggests that he withdraw from the competition because he believes that without him distracting Patsy that she will see Tom's potential. Tom turns down Hal's offer and replies that "people should win things because they're good not because everyone else is more rubbish."  When Hal approaches the door, Alex opens it and announces that they are having a party. When they enter, Oliver is playing music on the organ and the house is decorated with a Welcome Home Oliver sign. Hal says that they were looking forward to a quiet evening and some supper because they have been working all day. Alex points out that she has been working all day because she has been stuck with Oliver.  Alex tells Hal that she will go to the hotel and work his shift and he can try to do what she just did. Tom adds that everyone deserves to have a fuss made when they're little and joins Oliver at the organ.

Being Human UK, Season Five, Episode One: The Trinity

In Northern France 1918, Hal is sleeping, when Lady Catherine tries to stake him, but he awakes and defends himself.  The two being a fight and we learn that Lady Catherine is a werewolf.  As they fight, it becomes clear that not only do these two have a history, there is an ongoing attraction. Hal says that the war which has been going on between their clans for the last seven years is what triggered the war in the human world. He adds that he believes that they are being manipulated and says that they are not at war with each other but the devil.

Back in present time, Alex is trying to smell and consume chocolate, only to discover that as a ghost, these things are denied her. Tom is in the dining room hand feeding Hal mashed banana, much to Hal's disgust. Hal says that this is not about rehabilitation and that this is vindictive.  His issue isn't about being tied up but at looking at the mess the house is in. Alex makes it clear that she spent her whole life picking up after her brothers and does not intend to spend her afterlife doing the same for Hal and Tom. Hal begs for just ten minutes under the observation to run a vacuum and sort out the recycling but Tom is steadfast that Hal must be over his blood lust before being released.When Hal learns that the bathroom is also dirty he calls them animals.

In the kitchen, Tom and Alex discuss whether or not Hal is over the blood lust and they decide to ask him. Hal says that he needs structure and Tom directs Hal to stay away from supernatural nonsense and vampires.  Hal replies that drinking blood will mean that he has become the man that he has feared and he swears on the memory of Eve to abstain.

The humans that cleaned up the mess when Alex died are at another hidden location, where they have locked up the last of the old ones, who is a little girl.  Eddie tells them that there is another old one and that because of him, the vampires plan for world domination was ruined.  Eddie names Hal and they ask to learn more about him and promise that if she complies the humans will return her to Bolivia.

The house is all cleaned up now and Hal is free. Hal has devised a house schedule for the roomates and Alex is not happy that there's one for her because she will be passing over soon. Alex feels that all she needs to do is to find her body and get it to her family. Hal says that this is out of the question because they cannot risk ghosts, werewolves and vampires being revealed to the public. Alex tells Hal that he does not get to dictate what they tell her father and her brothers. "I'm not going to let a good man die in grief just to protect the Twilight franchise," Alex says. Before they can bicker too much, Tom brings up the cleaning schedule.  It seems that Alex has been given the bulk of housework to do because Hal plans for both him and Tom to take on extra shifts at the cafe to cover the rent.  Tom then tells Hal that they have been fired because of all of the time they took off.

At an office a man named Ian is called in and told that his position is up for review.  It turns out that they are trying to make room for someone named Gavin, who is actually photocopying his face.  Ian is told he needs to re-apply for his own job.

Tom and Hal go to a restaurant to look for work.  The woman takes one look at Hal and says, "hot," and then adds, "it's very hot in here"  Tom and Hal sit at a table and when the waitress walks over to hand them applications, Hal becomes distracted by her. Clearly, he's not quite over the blood lust. Tom gets called first, leaving Hal alone. A man sitting behind Hal asks, "when you talk to other vampires, as even you must from time to time,  how do you account for your continued anonymity? Luck? Skill or humanity's stupidity?" Hal turns to see the man and says, "I know you. You were in the basement of that night club a month or so ago. You took my friends body." The man introduces himself as Dominic Brooke and says that his job is to maintain the illusion that man is alone and that this has been the job of people like him for hundreds of years.  Dominic asks Hal to take charge of the vampires and strike an accord between humans and vampires. When Hal says that he cannot do this, Dominic says, "In exchange for a cessation of chaos and violence, we will provide you with per diems, premises and a means to acquire blood consensually." Dominic then places a container of blood on the table and Hal struggles and finally manages to say that he doesn't need blood anymore.  Dominic tells Hal that he is shaking.  Dominic says that he has seen vampires try to live a human life before and that it always ends in tears. Dominic tells him that they have been monitoring this hotel and many people have committed suicide here and they don't know the cause.  Before leaving, Dominic tells Hal that the remaining vampires are leaderless and can be easily molded.

Hal returns with Patsy the manager and she asks Hal if he has any experience. When Hal replies that he stayed at the Savoy, Patsy quickly offers him a job.  Alex suggests that Patsy must have taken a shine to Hal.  Alex and Hal begin to argue about her death again and she tells him that he should be living in a cave.  Hal doesn't say a word, he simply walks out.

Hal bumps into Ian who falls to the ground.  When Hal walks away in a rage, Ian follows him but the blood from Ian's injured nose, causes Hal's eyes to go black and his fangs to descend.  Ian takes off running and Hall follows hoping to explain, but Ian walks into the road and gets hit by a car.  The driver of the car takes off leaving Hal standing over Ian, who is struggling to breathe.  Hal puts his hand to Ian's bloody wound and barely resists tasting the blood, as Ian says, "help me".

We get another flashback to 1918 with Hal meeting with a necromancer and the leader of the werewolves. It turns out that Emil is already dead and so Lady Catherine tells him that they believe that the devil is feeding from the energy created by the vampire/werewolf conflict. Catherine believes that if the power goes unchecked that it will bring about the apocalypse.

Ian sits up suddenly and he is a vampire now, though he does not know it.  He tries to leave but Hal has locked him in the basement.  Alex comes downstairs when she hears the pounding to apologize for blaming Hal for her death. Tom joins them and Alex tells him that Hal is planning on building a sauna.  Tom says that it's ridiculous and so Hal covers by saying that he is building a bomb. When they ask to see it, Hal instead tells them about his encounter with Dominic. Tom and Alex decide to travel to the longitude and latitude that Dominic gave Hal yesterday to look for Alex's body.

Hal goes downstairs to see Ian and Hal tells Ian that he brought him there the night before. Ian says that he feels weird and asks if he has been drugged.  Hal tells him that his body is going through an amazing transformation.  Hal pulls out a photo of Ian's sister and niece and asks Ian what he thinks about when he sees them. Ian responds, "I want to drink them dry," and immediately becomes horrified. Hal tells him that it will fade in time and that he has been made into a vampire.

Being Human U.K. Season Four, Episode Eight: The War Child

Okay, this is it people, the season finale.  When I started season four, I really didn't believe that it would work because 3/4 of the cast was missing.  It was bad enough when Mitchell died at the end of season three, but losing George really made me lose all faith that Being Human U.K. could possibly carry on and be interesting.  It really took me some time to warm up to Hal; it felt like being unfaithful to Mitchell.  Now I can say that I am glad that I stuck it out.

This episode begins with a flash forward to the year 2022. Snow (an old one) arrives at what looks like a weigh station and as he walks in, he sees a young girl sleeping in a car.  The man Snow is questioning claims that her name is Zoe and that she was born before the pregnancy embargo. Pause. Why would vampires not want humans to reproduce?  Without humans they have no food source. Snow asks the colour of the girls eyes and when he cannot say, Snow determines that the child is in fact Eve and not Zoe.  He makes quick work of killing the man and then instructs his staff to ensure that Eve makes her rendezvous safely because, "she's a very precious cargo."

In the present, Alex asks Hal why she is still there and he informs her that she must have unfinished business.  Alex wonders if her unfinished business is to beat up Cutler, but Hal answers that unfinished bbusiness tends to be more life affirming. Tom however agrees with Alex and feels that they should start hunting Cutler down. Alex decides to sit in the police van and Hal reminds Tom that he is her first werewolf and this must be a lot to process.  Really? This woman has seen her own dead body and was drained of her blood, but seeing Tom fully dressed in his human form is a lot to process?  Tom thanks Cutler for stopping him from killing the people at the club the night before. Tom says he cannot believe he let it happen because he is always good at hiding his transformations, which causes Hal to admit that he has taken a backward step as well. Hal admits that he has drunk human blood twice and then we get yet another spiel about the burdens of being a vampire.  This line of thought wouldn't even be possible if they didn't continually demand that a good vampire not drink blood.  It's ridiculous honestly, and I am sick of the self loathing angst.

Snow seems to be having a meeting when Cutler is ushered in. When Snow complains that there was no one to greet him, Cutler says that everyone has either run away or has met the final death thanks to a werewolf infestation. Snow demands that he be paid a tribute and tells the story of his last visit to Britain in 1779, when all the adults in a village had been killed and the children's blood was used to make wine. Mark Gatiss, who plays Snow, is downright creepy in this scene.  As Alex, Hal and Tom sneak in quietly, Cutler says that his tribute to Snow is to give him the world.  Culter unveils his plan to offer up werewolves as the true evil to humans and then have the vampires come in to act as saviors.  Tom and Milo make eye contact and Hal insists they leave the moment he sees Snow.  Outside, Hal says that they have to get away because Snow is one of the first vampires and if he asks him to join them, he would have had no choice but to say yes.  Alex is still concerned about Cutler, but Hal says that Cutler doesn't matter anymore, because of Snow, and that the longer they stay there, the greater chance that he will find Hal.

Cutler turns on the television and is shocked when it is not reporting what happened in the club with Tom the night before. Snow is not impressed and tells Cutler that a tribute must still be paid, or there will be consequences.  Milo is holding onto Cutler threatening him with his blood and so Culter says that the war child is there and he offers to kill her.  Snow makes it clear that no one is touch Eve. Cutler is shocked because he believes that Eve needs to die to save vampires but Snow pulls out the final piece of the parchment and reveals that the opposite is true - to save humanity, Eve must be killed. When Snow dismisses Cutler, Milo drags him out, as Cutler promises that Snow will one day remember his name.

Alex, Hal and Tom return to find Annie back from purgatory.  Hal is not impressed and wants to know where Annie has been and she says, "to the future."  Tom tells her that the old ones are here and Tom adds that they've bee here all along.  Annie tells them all about how Eve died in the future and then traveled back in time to make sure that she died as a child to save humanity. When Alex laughs inappropriately, Annie asks who she is and Alex replies, "and this is Alex and that drank my blood." Annie says that Tom dies and that Hal reverts to what he once was, but Hal tries to say that this was a momentary blip.  When Tom suggests that they need to get Eve out of there, Annie answers, "this is not a group decision, I saw the future." Hal asks if Annie might harm Eve and Annie gets upset and says that she could never hurt a child.  When Hal asks if she would turn her back if someone else tried, Annie has no words.  Hal decides that the best approach is to eliminate the old ones altogether to remove Eve from the equation and Tom suggests blowing them up.  When they go in the other room, Hal says he's not comfortable leaving Eve alone with Annie and so Tom suggests that they take her with them.  The idea is immediately nixed and they leave Alex behind with her.

At the cafe, Tom reveals he has been storing cooking oil to make a bomb. Hal is shocked and asks what he has been planning and Tom resonds, "always be kind and polite and have the materials to build a bomb." Tom says after the bombs are made, he will strap them to his chest and then walk into the vampire nest. Hal says that what they need is a remote detonator, but Tom says he has no idea how to build one because McNair always did that. Hal says that he will do it and they shake hands. If it was that easy to kill a vampire why aren't their nests constantly being blown up?

Back at the house, Alex tries to make small talk with Annie but it's not going anywhere. Alex says that she spent the last seven years living with men and has completely forgotten how to talk to women.  Really?  Alex says that when Hal gets back that they are going to go and do her unfinished business. Annie says that her unfinished business ship has moved on because she believes that the men of the after life are scared of her. Annie offers to teach her some tricks just in case returning her body to her family is not actually her unfinished business.

Milo shows up at the cafe to find out what Tom is up to and wants to know if Eve is safe.  Tom says that Eve is with her mom. Milo points out that when everyone finds out that Eve's death is the key to mankinds survival that no one will be able to protect her. Milo suggests that they hand Eve over to the vampires for safekeeping.  Tom believes that this makes Milo a sell out because of course, werewolves are marginalized in the supernatural world relative to vampires. It is not until Tom calls him a coward that Milo truly loses it and points out that no one knows what he had to do to become accepted by the vampires.

Being Human U.K Season Four, Episode Seven: Making History

This episode begins with a flashback to 1950.  Hal is it seems is in some legal troubles for illegal gambling and dog fights (which I highly suspect have to do with the werewolves).  He tells Cutler that he is going to be their new representative and that he will achieve great things. We learn that Hal was Cutler's maker.

In the present day, Cutler is making a speech about the coming of the old ones and it is interrupted by Hal, who is clearly surprised to see him.

The older Eve tells Annie that she died and went back through her own history to make contact with her, but Annie is not buying it, she is also highly uncomfortable with the adult Eve calling her mom. When Annie demands to know what this is all about, Eve tells her that she has to show her, her present and Annie's future.

Back at the warehouse, Cutler hugs Hal, clearly glad to see him and Hal of course becomes stiff as a board.  Even if Hal weren't OCD, hugging vamps just don't seem right.  Hal wants to know about the body of the coroner which was found in the exact same place where the two used to bury their corpses. Hal also wants to know why the coroner filed a report saying that human flesh was found in the stomach of the box tunnel killer, but Cutler wants to know why they are talking about this after not seeing each other for 55 years, and calls for two glasses and a decanter.

Cutler introduces him to the fellow vamps as his maker and tells them that Hal is a monster. When Hal hesitates, Cutler asks him what is wrong.  Hal just barely manages to fight the compulsion and leaves promising to return.  At home he jumps on the exercise bike. Tom walks in holding Eve asking about Annie and where he plans on taking Alex on a date. Hal says they are meeting at a bar and then going for supper. Tom hands over the baby and Hal agrees to watch her for an hour.

We get another flashback to Cutler digging a grave for a body.  Hal tells him, "you're becoming the drunk who never buys a round. All we require is everything."

It turns out that Tom left the baby to go see Cutler.  Cutler says that the old ones are going to be there tomorrow and he wants Tom to transform and kill them all.  Tom says no because all of his life he felt like a weapon, "something blunt and simple."  He reads off of cue cards to express his desire to be human.  Cutler screams that the old ones a different and that there are people who need to see him do this. When Tom still refuses, Cutler changes tactics and invites him out to diner.

In the future, Annie learns that mostly everyone is dead. Eve says that days after the old ones arrived in town, they killed the Prime Minister on national television. Fearing for Eve's safety, they ran but vampires started killing people.  Eve tells her that she didn't stop the downfall of humanity because of Annie.

Cutler returns to the vamp gathering place to find Cutler looking desolate. Cutler says that he dropped the coroner where he did because it was an homage and he is still pissed that Hal left him behind. Cutler says that Hal can go straight back to the top and all he wants "is a mention, a statue  and maybe Brazil". Cutler pours another glass of blood and offers it to Hal for old times. Hal asks if he drinks it, if Cutler will tell him what is going on.

We get another flashback to Cutler's shaking hand reaching for a glass of blood and being stopped by Hal. It seems that Hal wants Cutler to kill his wife in order to end his connections to humans. When he refuses, Hal leaves saying, "I had such high hopes for you." In the present Hal drinks the blood.

In purgatory, Annie asks why Eve is looking at her like that and Eve responds that she hasn't seen her since she was 18 and that she missed her.  When Annie asks what happened to her, Eve says that it doesn't matter and then opens another door.

Hal shows up at the bar to meet Alex who immediately starts rambling. He starts telling her that he likes her mouth and neck and she is truly getting creeped out. When she tells him to be nice, he says that he is not nice and he stars at her trembling.  In frustration, Alex walks out.

Annie asks about Tom and Eve tells her that he died right where they were standing in a dog fight. Annie learns that after everything fell apart and she lost friend after friend, she just "drifted apart, like smoke on a breeze."

When Hal gets back to the flat, Tom is getting ready to go out.  He asks how Hal's date went and tells him that Annie has not turned up yet. Before he leaves, Tom tells Hal that the old ones will be in town tomorrow. Tom's shirt is absolutely horrendous and evidences his working class background.

In purgatory, Annie sits down and refuses to go any further and she and Eve quickly get into a typical mother/daughter argument.

At the restaurant, Cutler gives Tom a tie to wear on order of management, and Tom is forced to admit that he has never worn a tie, and that he doesn't know how to tie one.  Cutler wants to know if Tom's change of heart has to do with Allison, but Tom says that he is going to fix himself up and get all proper, but Cutler is quick to plant doubt about this.  Cutler gets more evil every episode.

Being Human U.K., Season Four, Episode Six: Puppy Love

 

This episode begins with Tom's morning being juxtaposed to that of  young girl.  At the cafe, Hal's OCD has gone into overdrive and he has made sure that everything is symmetrical.  Hal asks if Tom could be like Leo and set the tasks that Hal needs to do for the purposes of routine to keep him on task.  Hal notices a young girl standing across the street reading a book, but when Tom calls after her, she runs away.  They chase after her and Tom admits that he is a werewolf.

They take Allison back to the house and she admits that she hunted him down after seeing the video of Tom and George on youtube.  The first thing she wants to know is what sort of idiot exposes himself on youtube. When she shows Tom the video, he is shocked. Apparently, a ton of people have seen it and believe that it is fake.  When Eve starts to cry, Annie leaves to check on her.

Allison says that she believes that someone is trying to break the news about werewolves.  Hal says that the vampires have been keeping the secret for years and Tom backs him up by saying that Hal is not involved in vampire politics anymore.  Allison suggests that Hal should go undercover and seek information over a pint of blood, which sends Hal rushing out of the house.

In a warehouse, Cutler is watching the video online when Golda of the U.K. operations shows up.  Cutler tries to counter, saying that Griffin left him in charge, but Golda is not convinced that he has everything under control. Cutler tells her that he met a werewolf, but all Golda can think about is setting up a cage fight, though Cutler says he needs Tom for something else.  Golda demands that he bring Tom to her.

Back at the house, Eve is having a fit and the doorbell rings  A man threatens to knock the door in because the crying baby is disturbing him. Annie opens the door and uses her powers to force him back but when she turns to grab a stake, an old man is standing next to her.  When she looks on the ground, she realises that the man knocking was human because his dead body is lying on the cement out front of the house.

Allison and Tom argue about approaching a vampire and she refuses to stay quiet.  As they hunt for him, Allison argues that humanity is ready for supernaturals "to be out and proud." Uh huh. This is clearly yet another GLBT reference on a show that has had one gay couple in four seasons, which resulted in murder and let's not forget the whole pretend to be gay, for the purposes of throwing off questions about Eve.  The track record for GLBT representation is abysmal on Being Human, but they don't seem to have any problem with appropriation. Tom tells her to be quiet and she is snarky about him being the chair person.  The vampire attacks Allison from behind, but Tom separates them and stakes the vampire.  Allison is pissed that he killed the vampire, claiming that they didn't learn anything and that Tom didn't give her a chance to talk to him. Allison goes to leave in a huff, until Tom says that he might know someone they can talk to.  

It has been less than half an episode and I already know that I don't like Allison in the least little bit. She is clearly smart, but in this situation out of her depth and refusing to admit it.  She placed herself in danger, forcing Tom to save her.  This is quite common treatment of female characters in this genre, but it is still irritating every time a spunky agent enters the picture.

Back at the house, Annie is dealing with Emrys who is pissed that his death has been declared natural causes.  Annie tries to explain that he is not really of this plane anymore and promises to help him fulfill the task that her killing him stopped him from accomplishing.

Tom takes Allison to meet Cutler, who wants to know if she plans to stick around for awhile.  She admits that she wanted to be a barrister but that a university campus is out of he question.  When she asks about the video on youtube, Cutler claims that he is just learning about it and that recently there has been a vampire minority who is keen to reveal the existence of werewolves. He takes his lie one step further and claims that Golda is the ringleader and that because she has protection that there isn't much that he can do on his own. I am curious to know what Cutler's end game is.  Each week we see him making plans but there has been no larger objective identified. Cutler asks for Tom the vampire slayer to get involved, which causes Allison to become upset and ask how many vampires he has killed. Allison says that she is surprised that Cutler is condoning the murder of vampires.  Tom replies that they are not normal people, because they are werewolves. Allison agrees to participate, if Tom teaches her how to kill a vampire.

At the cafe, Hal is mopping the floor and singing when a young woman walks in to order five teas. Alex tries to flirt with Hal but he says that he was just being friendly. When he admits to not having a girlfriend or a boyfriend she asks if he is a religious because of his sexual repression. As she leaves he tells her that it was nice to meet her.

Being Human U.K. Season Four, Episode Five: Hold the Front Page

 

This episode begins with a flashback to six months ago. Adam the teenage vampire meets a young school girl and is stopped before he can feed on her by an older woman.

In present day, Hal is at home singing in the kitchen as he is doing dishes, when Adam shows up at the door with Yvonne, who immediately suggests that Tom put on clothes because "this isn't the jungle book".  When Annie shakes hands with her, she realizes that Yvonne can see her. When Yvonne and Adam learn that Mitchell, George and Nina are dead, Yvonne offers to leave but Adam says that he is fine to stay.  Tom re-enters the room and introduces himself, shaking Yvonne's hand and something clearly passes between them. 

It seems that Adam and Yvonne are on the run.  When Adam starts to carry on about their relationship, she threatens him with the naughty step.  Is she is girlfriend or his parent? Yvonne says that she gets a lot of attention from men, to the point of having to call police at the last parents meeting at the school where she worked. Yvonne claims to know what Adam is (referencing his supposed youth), but believes that age is only a number, though the papers have run with the gossip.  When Tom looks outside he sees that the paparazzi have already arrived. Apparently the story of a headmistress running of with a young man is too salacious not to be covered.

When Yvonne puts her coat back on to leave, Hal and Annie beg them not to go out because photos of Adam will prove that his image cannot be captured. The forcefulness of their demands leads Yvonne to ask what is going on. They sit her down and Adam admits to actually being 47 and that Annie is a ghost, Hal a vampire and Tom a werewolf. Yvonne suggests that Adam is just saying this because he wants to end the relationship.. She believes that Adam is troubled and is suffering from a delusion, but  claims that this does not change how she feels about him.

Tom leaves to take a nap but as he leaves the room, he keeps turning around to see Yvonne. In bed, Tom dreams about Yvonne entering his room as a judge and then taking off her clothes.  

Upstairs, Hal is with the baby when Adam approaches him about being an old one.  Adam has not changed and talks about unleashing the beast in his trousers but makes sure to warn Hal off Yvonne. Hal makes it clear that he has no interest in her. When Adam leaves, Tom arrives asking if Hal thinks that Yvonne would like some flowers in her room. He says, "she's a guest and needs looking after."  Hal is instantly confused.

Though Adam promised not to leave the house, Adam of course did not listen.  A paparazzi takes a picture of him lighting a smoke and of course the image is invisible.  Tom starts following Yvonne around, though it is clearly making her uncomfortable.  She wants to leave, but Adam says that if Tom persists that he will just knee him in the sensitive area. 

A paparazzi knocks on the window saying, "Hey Yvonne, answer me this, why do weird things happen when I try to take a photo of your boyfriend?" This causes Hal to ask if Adam has been outside, which Adam denies. After a stern look from Hal, Adam admits that he was, though he still denies that he was smoking. They send Tom out to confront the paparazzi, who says he believes that Adam isn't as innocent as everyone thinks.  

Instead of focusing on the issue at hand, Tom suggests that Yvonne should break up with Adam for smoking.  In a panic, Annie suggests that Hal go after the paparazzi, but Hal is uncertain of what he is supposed to do.  Hal is not impressed with being treated like he s a henchman. In the meantime, Adam is telling Tom that he needs to back off Yvonne. When Yvonne touches Hal and apologises, something clearly passes between them.

Being Human U.K. Season Four, Episode Four: A Spectre Calls

 

This episode begins with a flashback to 1970 and Kirby, the ghost we saw at the end of the last episode crosses the street to retrieve a ball and is struck by a car, killing him instantly.

In present day, Hal is holding the baby who is crying and he calls out for help. Tom tells him that Annie has made a schedule for every hour for the baby.  Hal says that they must destroy the schedule. Annie walks in saying that someone is watching them.  Kirby rings the door and Hal and Tom search him roughly and Kirby claims that Nina sent him.  Kirby says that he was a nursery teacher before he died and that Nina didn't come because werewolves can't be ghosts. 

Annie invites Kirby in saying that she is not going to pretend that she doesn't need the help.  Annie marches into Tom's room without knocking and then complains that his room is messy.  I don't think I could live with Annie, as she seems to have no sense of boundaries. When Annie shows him Eve's room, Kirby makes a face when he sees all of the crucifixes hanging over the crib.  Kirby suggests that they paint the room a bright colour and add some toys. 

Annie marches downstairs and orders Tom to get some nice things for the nursery. When Eve starts to cry, Annie leaves and Kirby is quick to mention to Tom that Annie has him all trained and that Annie says jump and Tom asks how high.  Clearly this ghost is a shit distruber. 

Hal is doing his push ups shirtless (a beautiful sight I might add)  when Annie says that it is time for him to do the baby massage and stimulating story time. Really? He says that he cannot because on his schedule it says noon push ups and then a program on radio 4. For Hal this is important because this is how he focuses, but Annie says that they are meant to be a team. She hands him the baby telling him not to forget to use lavender oil and leaves the room.

Upstairs, Annie finds Kirby in Tom's room cleaning up.  When she tells him that he doesn't have to do that, he responds, 'Tom says that you can get a bit twisted if things don't go your way."  When Annie asks him to repeat it, he says to forget that he said that.  Yep, Kirby is a shit disturber. Of course, Kirby wants Annie to know that he doesn't mean to cause any trouble between them and Annie assures him that he can't because thanks to her schedule, they're "a well oiled machine." Kirby takes the opportunity to ask about Hal because Eve is the war child, but Annie says that she trusts him.

Downstairs, Tom is dragging a container that he found on a skid and when Annie gets upset, he says that it will be easy to fix up. As Tom drags it outside, Kirby tells Annie that Tom is young and that perhaps it will be good to have another man around the house.  Upstairs, Kirby knocks on Tom's door to tell him that he thought the container just needed a good clean and Tom responds "but Annie said" and again Kirby cuts him off.  Kirby then notices that all of the pictures on Tom's wall are of families and he centers in on the one with the birthday cake, causing Tom to admit that he has never so much as had a birthday card. It turns out that the next day is Tom's 21st birthday and Kirby says that it's a massive day and points out that of course Hal and Annie know. Kirby says that Hal and Annie are organizing him a surprise birthday party and that he cannot say anything, or else he will ruin the surprise. 

Hal pops in saying that Annie is getting hysterical downstairs and that he is not enjoying it.  Downstairs Annie is walking the baby and yells, "she has a temperature, a bloody temperature."  Kirby calmly says to call a GP and get him to do a home visit. He suggests that they say that Tom is the father, and when Hal asks where's the mother, Kirby responds at work. Tom sets up a fantasy in which his pretend wife is a barrister and they are a power couple.

The doctor shows up and Tom let's him in, reciting exactly what Annie told him to say.  When things start to go wrong, Annie screams for Hal, who tells the doctor that he is Tom's boyfriend reluctantly. Hal asks what the doctor meant by saying that Tom was weird and the doctor says that Tom is a half wit.  Hal responds saying, "no you weren't. You were saying that he is gay and being prejudiced."  The doctor starts to deny this and Hal tells him to just check on the baby. It turns out Eve has a simple ear infection.  Tom walks over and puts his arm around Hal and the doctor says, "I had not idea you were gay.  Most gay couples have taste (referring to the decor) and there was no mention of an adoption. I couldn't find anything about her on our entire system." Hal tells him to go away, and the doctor says "fine, there are things I need to check."  Annie starts to worry because he cannot check on Eve's background. As he walks out Tom says, "Oh great mistrust queens, well that's how we're used to it mate, I'm gay and I'm straight. That's not how it is, I'm queer and I'm here."

Before continuing on with the recap, I have to pause to talk about this exchange. In four seasons, there has only been one gay character and he killed his lover. Having Tom and Hal pretend to be lovers so they could charge discrimination to avoid the doctor's questions is deeply offensive.  If Being Human wants to erase GLBT characters then erase them, don't use their marginalization as a tool; it's simply offensive.

The doctor goes out to his car and Kirby pops in.  Kirby places his hand on his chest and tells him that his heart is starting to race. Then he tells the doctor that his heart starts to flutter.  As Kirby is causing a disruption with the doctor's heartbeat, he confesses how much loves this and misses this.  He says, "in the old days I would have used a knife but this is so much better."  The doctor then dies, but we don't see his ghost appear and I find this weird because thus far, every time someone has died, we have seen their ghost. 

In the house, Hal watches as the GP is loaded into an ambulance, as Kirby hide around a corner. Hal asks Kirby if he knows what happened to the GP and Kirby responds, "Heart attack I suspect.  As soon as he came in I thought, now there's someone who shouldn't start any long books."  Hal is not sold and says it's peculiar that this happened on the day Kirby arrived. Kirby tells him that he is the expert on death and then starts to bring up the people that Hal killed. He suggests that Annie wouldn't recognize Hal from his past, but Hall says Annie knows what he was like, to which Kirby asks, "all the gory details?"  Kirby points out that Hall might be used to what he has done but someone hearing all the details for the first time might find it quite disturbing.  At this point, I really want Hal to find a way to just eat Kirby. It seems that Kirby's goal is to get Annie to like him and help with the baby and he expects Hal to help him achieve that goal. He claims to just want to be part of the family and suggests that if he is going to keep quiet about the details of Hal's past, then he deserves the same courtesy. 

Being Human U.K. Season Four, Episode Three: The Graveyard Shift

 

This episode begins with a flashback to England in the year 1855.  It seems that Fergus and Hal are on leave together from the army and they have decided to stop off at a mansion and kill the residents and the servants.  Of the two, Hal is the more blood thirsty one.

In the present day, Hal packs his bag with stakes and puts Eve in a baby carrier to go shopping.  At the cash out, Annie helps to shoplift some items and Tom justifies it by saying that it's not stealing, if it's a big shop and besides, Eve needs food. What neither of them realize is that they have been spotted by the record keeper, who just happened to be doing some shopping himself.

When they return to the house, Hal is listening to the stereo, and Tom and Annie approach him about getting a job. He says that he is not relaxing and that he's just barely holding on. Hal turns the stereo back on and says that going to work is out of the question. Annie tell him that it might be difficult but that he cannot expect to stay there for free. Tom wants to know why Hal isn't loaded, because vampires live forever and that even with basic compound interest that his investments would be through the roof.  Hal says that a series of bad investments before the crash wiped him out and that on his list, it clearly states...but before he can finish, Tom cuts him off saying "stuff your list." Hal tries again saying that keeping away from people is how he manages his condition, but Annie reminds him that he has been dry for over 50 years and that a few weeks out there won't so bad. Hal asks, "where will I work? Jobs just don't fall off trees."

In the next scene, Hal is at the cafe dressed in a red stripped apron and blue gloves with Tom. He is clearly not happy with this development. He asks Tom to kill him and suggests that he tell Annie that he attacked him.  Tom puts him to work scraping grease.

The record keeper shows up at the house and when Annie asks him what he is doing there, he responds, "what are you still doing here? I cannot believe you're still in Barrie. I cannot believe you're still in Wales."  The record keeper says that the vampires don't want Eve because they think that she is dead but if they spotted her shopping, then they would come for her again and he would be done for.  Annie promises to try and keep a low profile but the record keeper stops her saying that he found something else in the prophesy - something else is coming for Eve.  Annie is upset and says that prophesy's are all about bullshit and mind games, and that she doesn't want to hear anymore saviour nonsense. The record keeper slips a piece of paper through the door with his phone number, saying that if she is serious about the welfare of Eve Annie needs to listen.

At the restaurant, Hal is cleaning the table when he meets a Michaela who tells him that she is writing a journal.  She shows him a drawing of a skull that people can drink out of  and asks if he thinks that she is weird.  Tom interrupts saying that Hal is taking to long to clean the table and that they have customers waiting.  Hal moves to the next table and Michaela interrupts again saying, imagine the streets with everyone dead and no one but you. 

Annie takes the baby to the park when Fergus shows up asking why the baby is still alive.  Annie asks if he has kids and he says he had two, who are long since dead, but that he checks in on his descendants. Fergus holds a knife to Eve saying that many are afraid of the baby, but he isn't because he sees her as an opportunity. Fergus believes that the old ones will be grateful when he gives them Eve's head as a present and then leaves because of the kids in the area.  As he walks away, Annie asks, "why can't you just leave her alone, she's just a normal baby?"  Fergus responds, "do you really just believe that, or is this desperation?"

At the restaurant, Hal's OCD ways continue to slow down the restaurant.  When he grabs a towel to dry his hands, a stake falls out.  Tom says that he must of forgotten that he had it, but it's good just in case.  Hal is shocked because he does not believe that they are going to be over run by vampires.  Then he realizes that the stake is for him, in case he fell off the wagon. Hal says that Tom is hoping that he falls off the wagon because that would give him the perfect excuse.  Tom does not deny the charge and Hal walks out.

Annie shows up at the record keepers door and asks why he is helping them. He responds that four hundred years he's been pouring over dusty molding documents and no one wanted to know about his work. In fact, they simply laughed at him and it has to be worth something. If Eve does not mean the end of all vampires, then the work that he has been doing for all of those years will mean nothing. Annie admits that she is there because she is scared and still does not believe that the baby is the chosen one. In exchange for information, the record keeper now wants to share a moment. 

He orders Annie to think about the first time she had sex and they are magically transported back through Annie's memories. It turns out that the only way that he can experience her memories is as her.  As Annie's lover starts putting the moves on the record keeper, he says, "make it stop".  Annie tells him that he didn't last that long and was gentle. The record keeper says they can forget the sex memories and that he will tell her what she needs to know.

Back at the restaurant, Hal is taking out the garbage and Fergus approaches him. Hal tries to tell him that he has got the wrong man, but Fergus is not convinced. Fergus gets down on one knee saying, "my lord."  When Hal shoves him up against a wall by his throat, Fergus tells him not to panic because he is still loyal and Hal responds, "then forget you saw me."  Fergus will not be brushed aside and says that there are no old ones right now and that they two of them could take over because Hal is so old.  Hal continues not to be interested saying that is not who is anymore.  Fergus tells him that he does not have to be working in a greasy spoon with Tom, who has a target on his back. Hal shoves Fergus saying that there is no target on Tom as long as he is with him.  Frustrated, Fegus tells him that either he is an old one or he isn't and that they plan to return tomorrow to teach Hal's doggy a lesson. Hal says that Tom is not his anything.

When Hal comes back in, Tom squirts him with ketchup as a joke, but Hal is not impressed. They find a porn magazine on the table and Tom asks Hal if he wants it, because he finds the magazine demeaning to women. Hal pulls out his rubber glove and drops the magazine in the garbage. Tom wonders what the mothers of the models thinks and comments that no one would want to court them.  Hal picks up on the archaic language and says that he knows the term because he was around during the coronation. They have a little banter about women and Hal says he does not play in that arena anymore and Tom responds that he is waiting for the right one. They make a bet to see who will get the number of the first woman to walk in and both agree that they will not call her.  In walks Michaela, the woman from earlier.