Saturday, July 27, 2013

Almighty Johnsons Season 3, Episode 4: Like the Berserkers of Old

Time for another day of Axl joining Mike in rebuilding his home, Mike and Michele in bed and Michele hating the chaos, dirt and dust and Axl bringing in the ceiling. Over that bed. That’s not made things better.

With the house officially unliveable, Mike insists they stay at Michele’s flat, temporarily, especially since it’s 2 bedroom with one person in it. Michele finally has to tell him that her tenant is her mother – and she’s dreading moving back with her.

To the flat, to meet Michele’s mother, Karen who is… pretty pleasant. A bit full on, over enthusiastic and she calls Michele “snappy”. Which is an awesome nickname which should be used forever and ever. Of course, Karen is also a goddess (and, strike against her, she liked Colin – Loki – but, then she seems to like everyone) – Lofn (oooh the gentle matchmaker); she loves parties and Mike’s the god of games – sounds awesome. Michele looks like she regrets Sjofn’s powers don’t let her sink into the floor.

At Anders’s office, someone has left Ander’s a briefcase full of money (which he had Dawn open because he’s a coward). A briefcase full of money with a note to meet the anonymous benefactor if they want more. Dawn is very sensibly suspicious, Anders is very typically greedy and foolish. Always listen to Dawn, Dawn is always right

The meeting turns out to be with Colin. Loki. Turn around and walk away now Anders. He says he needs Anders – oh gods walk away! Colin wants to be mayor! Because it’ll be fun! And, of course, he wants Anders with the powers of Bragi to make it happen (and his boyish good looks won’t hurt). Anders objects on the grounds of Colin blowing up his brother’s house and Colin responds with some objectification of his assistant, a round of homophobia, mocking Anders for being on Mike’s leash and a briefcase with a nun puppet in it. Yes he’s as confused as I am

From nun puppets to a church full of congregants singing a hymn – with Olaf and Stacey among them. After the service Stacey laments that they’re nice people, because they’re going to have to kill them – or smite them as Olaf puts it. They go from the church to Mike to explain things – Stacey tracked them down, they’re the god hunters like the murderous Natalie. And they plan to try again.

Gathering many of the gods together, Stacey tells them how she tracked Natalie back to her source showing some pretty decent deduction skills, leading her to Natalie’s tearful husband Bevan, in New Zealand. (Ingrid continues to be nice and fluffy, Stacey much harder on the god murderers) they followed him to his church and, examining the church, found a cell within the church that are god hunters – probably 6 of them. (Also Olaf is just awful at undercover). Stacey found they where planning to meet that day at 2 – so they’d all be in the same place for the gods to, as Olaf puts it, smite them.

Stacey suggests just giving the information to Colin and letting him burn the place down (don’t rely on Loki!) and Ingrid objects to murder, Mike agrees – and Axl invokes Odin-ness (causing much sarcasm from Mike) saying that bringing in Colin is always a bad idea (behold wisdom), and that they go round and get the jump on the hunters. Mike agrees – but not taking Axl, because Odin dying kills them all. Also, no he’s not in charge yet. They go and leave a bitter, sad Axl behind.

Axl struggles with the fallen beam but his Odin powers don’t kick in. But the day brightens when Tansy arrives, she’s had a bad day, needs a drink and is sad to see the bar in ruins. But her new friend Axl knows where the free booze is stashed – keep your knights in shining armour, I’ll take a bartender with free drinks any day.

She complains about her perv of a boss and Axl encourages her to tell him off for invading her personal space. Off they go – and it seems her job is trying to encourage passers-by to give to charity. She goes down and slap him, tells him to keep his hands to himself and being a massage therapist doesn’t mean he gets to give back rubs even when a woman says no. Only her boyfriend gets to do that – Axl (surprised, Axl plays along) and she dramatically quits. They walk away and she thanks him – and kisses him. They wander off together

Mike drags Anders out of his office, giving him no choice but to join them and Olaf is preparing for battle like the berserkers of old. With cannabis. Pretty sure Norse raids would have been very different affairs if that were the case. Seal the gates! We’re being attacked by a large number of ambling blond men with a severe case of the munchies!

Line of the week: “we’re like some kind of fellowship off on a quest” from Ingrid. Anders says “not really”, the guy who actually starred in the Hobbit. Yes, I am amused

The gang moves in (after staggering out the car) and dramatically does the slow walk into battle – and Michele has Yggdrasil. They enter and the 6 god hunters are on their knees praying, they stand and Bevan points out Anders as the “abomination.” He moves on Anders and Michele hits him with Yggdrasil.

Mike tries to talk despite being called a demon and with Bevan whimpering and holding his arm. He’s so pathetic he asks Michele to fix him – which she does with Yggdrasil healing. And the hunters start praying again. Y’know smiting is looking more attractive. Just a little smiting? After much sniping “false gods,” “real gods, just not yours” they learn that Gunnar, from their sister church in Norway told them about the “demons” who also tracked the gods to New Zealand because of Anders’s drunken, unsubtle quest for Yggdrasil. And apparently one of the female cult members slept with Anders and it’s implied by him using his Bragi powers.

Speaking of, Mike sends Anders forwards, he makes them kneel (not with Bragi powers but by threatening them with Michele). He uses his mass Bragi powers to convince them that there are no Norse gods. And to put their fingers in their ear. And maybe worship Michele because she’s a good vengeance goddess. He dismisses them and the gods applaud Stacey for her excellent detective work; Anders is a little miffed that he gets no credit.

He goes back to his office and there’s another expensive gift from Colin on his desk. Mike returns home and finds Axl missing stil

He’s at the beach with Tansy. And as they swim in the sea, strange electricity appears and the water churns up into a storm. He struggles to Tansy and lifts her out of the water. He asks if she saw the lights in the water – she didn’t. She kisses him again, this time for saving her life.

Ingrid hurries to Mike with some bad news from the notes they took from the hunters – there were 7 of them not 6 (not including dead Natalie) And one of them wasn’t present because they were doing their hunting thing – and Axl is mentioned in their genealogy research

Mike calls Axl but he doesn’t answer because he and Tansy are getting hot and heavy (and she has a big cross tattoo). They have sex, but while they’re having sex Axl starts crying. She realises he’s thinking about another girl and is not impressed or happy about that. He says he likes her but she says no – she’s not the girl who will fix him.

And then Mike barges in and Tansy leaves. Mike fills Axl in and, since no-one tried to kill Axl, he calls round the others to see if there’s a hunter after them. All the gods check in but Axl mentions Ty – the hunters don’t know he’s not a god any more

Cut to Ty riding his bike and the preacher in a car following him. Ty answers the phone to Mike, and then just leaps off his bike in time to avoid being squished by the preacher. The preacher gets out, muttering in Latin and pulling a knife. He attacks Ty and gets punched in the face 3 times (he may not be a god, but Ty’s still a lot fitter than the man), then tackled by Lance, the cycle courier dating Dawn

Mike calms down and then returns to Axl’s claim the ocean attacked him – Axl shows him the burns from the underwater lights.

The cycle crew gathers in a bar and Lance recount the tale, joined by other couriers, Dawn, Stacey and Olaf.

Anders goes to Colin and tells him the answer is yes – but “if I say it, you do it without question. Don’t be a dick about everything. No Loki shit. Leave his family alone” Good conditions – but it’s Loki. NEVER EVER GET IN BED WITH LOKI. At least, not unless you have Thor to threaten him with a hammer. Colin said he’d already had his people break into Anders’s apartment and leave him a present – a naked woman. Yeah, Colin constantly reducing women to objects makes me want Frejya back.

Axl and Ty angst separately in their own ways

Mike returns to Michele’s flat and Michele briefly sums up all of Karen’s issues, stemming from being a minor goddess and, alone, they settle into the new flat. But after they have sex and go to bed, their woken by Karen returning and her own very noisy sex life. They move to the living room where there’s less noise and Karen’s lover comes down the stairs – it’s the Johnson’s father.

Last week I said that Anders was being rather unfairly treated by his brothers – I think that we may be seeing some consequences of that. I kind of want them to reconcile more and at least acknowledge that the Gaia situation wasn’t his fault, but I really really don’t want to see Anders and Colin working together –that’d just be another litany of things to blame Anders for.

While I do think he’s treated harshly I also think everyone bushing over the implication he had sex with a woman using his Bragi powers was extremely out of line. It needed examining to see if it was god-induced rape or an actual consensual sexual encounter- you can’t just leave that hanging.

I don’t like how Axl fell in so quickly with Tansy. It was only last week when he was near suicidal in part because of Gaia leaving – it seems awfully quick and sudden; though his tears went a whole long way to redeeming that.

Now why did the sea burn Axl? Njord, god of the sea? Another god? An Odin sign?