Sunday, November 29, 2015

Haven, Season 5, Episode 22: A Matter of Time



Haven is now trapped in the Void – desperately trying to move a huge rock while at the same time feeling all kinds of woozy because humans and the Void are not a good combination (kind of like me and the seaside). William is still convinced Mara is out there, ranting away until Nathan snaps and tells him that Mara is well and truly gone.

Oddly, the cave bleeds Aethur when Nathan throws a rock in frustration. William smugly knows Nathan will now help him so William can give him a new Trouble with the Aether. Nathan isn’t a fan of this plan but lacking options he gives William Aether. And he promptly betrays Nathans and creates a wolf-man to lift the rock pinning him because of course he does.

While being pinned by the big monster, Nathan tries to convince William that Mara only used William and instead jumped right on Duke as soon as she could, never looking for William


In Haven Duke and Audrey look for Hayley who wants to keep her Trouble even as Audrey is sure there must be a downside – there is, it’s dangerous. To emphasise that point they find Hayley merged with an iron fence which looks most unpleasant. She is alive – but she’s stuck on the bars of the fence which are the only things stopping her from bleeding to death.

Audrey writes her off – Hayley is dead dead dead – so can she open the portal please? (She manages to be a little kinder than that). So it’s Duke’s job to convince her – she decides everything is everyone else’s fault and she’d rather die than save the whole town.

Audrey suggests plan B – Duke kill Hayley and absorb her power. Duke vetoes that plan – he’s going to talk her into it.

Duke does both – tragically saying goodbye, telling her she has a chance to do something good and as she slowly dies he speeds things up by pulling her a little further on the bars (lots of praise for this scene – it was excellently tragic). Duke absorbs her power and her blood. Duke has his angsty moment of being destined to save Haven – but what he has to do for it is terribad tragic.

They open the Thinny – and in the void William rescues Nathan and lets him go. For… reasons? Nathan decides to give William his ring so William can find his own way home to his people before Nathan joins Duke and Audrey (I’d laugh so hard if Nathan dropped the control crystal).

He hasn’t – so they can make the new barn and banish Croatoan. Except, of course, they have absolutely no damn clue what to do with it.



Dwight, Vince and a hypnotist are trying to use mojo on Dave to confront/banish/kill Croatoan. With some woo-woo, Dave goes into his head to confront Croatoan. But in doing so, Maddie the hypnotist is also killed – Dave as Croatoan freed himself and killed her ten erased Dwight and Vince’s memories.

Things are all vague and creepy and every horror movie cliché is drawn on – Dave and Croatoan argue over the radio as Croatoan describes absorbing Troubles so he can then escape and have his own body

While in Haven, Dwight and Vince are continually losing time, coming to to see time has passed (why doesn’t Croatoan just kill them rather than play these silly games). In the lost time, they seem to have been fighting – and found a gun. And then with Vince preparing to shoot Dave despite Dwight’s objections. Dwight recorded what happened when they lost time – and they hear Dave telling them to shoot him

They manage to sit down and talk to Dave – and Dave tells him everything Croatoan said: that Croatoan will spare Dave if he escapes. They realise it isn’t Dave trying to get them to kill him –it’s Croatoan because Dave can do something in his head which would damage him. Remembering creepy clocks on the wall of his head-space, Dave makes a Haven-leap and decides that if they break the clocks they can stop Croatoan erasing memories.

Vince is against this plan as far too risky for Dave. He’s clinging to the idea that Croatoan will emerge and then they can fight him and spare Dave – but Dave insists he has to break the clocks. If Croatoan can continually erase memories he’s too impossible to fight.

Dave goes back under and starts breaking clocks with Croatoan being all ominous and trying to intimidate him – Dave continues breaking clocks….

…and doesn’t wake up. Vince is tearfully faced with his brother’s death. And Croatoan uses Dave’s body to give a last ominous message that Dave succeeded in removing his memory erasure – before leaving Dave’s body as black smoke. Dave manages one last warning – “he’s coming for Audrey”.







“It’s dangerous to use” isn’t exactly a downside – more operating instructions. Especially as it’ an optional Trouble

Haven has always been a show that has taken a long time to tell a story – my early reviews constantly complain how the middle part of each season is one great flabby mess. Well this season is certainly better in terms of meta and moving forwards… but… it’s the last season. I know it’s the last season and I think I’ve grown increasingly bored of it. So many of the storylines feel like they’re dragging it out - Croatoan, Hayley deciding her Trouble is super shiny-cool… it makes me want to reach for the fast forward button.

Can someone even remotely explain William’s motivations to me? Seriously? I have absolutely no clue how any of this was to make sense.

That’s not to say there aren’t great moments – Duke facing the “having to” do terrible things and his “destiny” involves so much awful is well done

Though that pales next to Vince and Dave…