Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Once Upon a Time, Season 6, Episode 1: The Saviour

Once Upon a Time is back and we begin with a little Aladdin/Jafar scene. I’m torn – part of me wishes that they’d managed to cast Naveen Andrews to make it more consistent with Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. At the same time this Jafar is decidedly yummy

It seems Aladdin is/was a Saviour as well – but he’s helpless, his hands shaking uncontrollably. Jafar taunts him – everyone asks a Saviour for help and the Saviour, naturally, gives and gives – until there’s nothing left

Is it disturbing to hear Jafar paraphrase the Giving Tree? Yes yes it is.

Apparently Jafar believes no Saviour ever has a Happily Ever after

So back to storybrooke where Emma and Killian’s sexy times are interrupted by Killian’s sexiness causing an earthquake (also possible the horror at the idea of Mary Margaret, the soggiest of characters, walking in on them caused the earth to recoil)

Or it could be the giant dirigible, I suppose. Filled with people from Hyde’s land of untold stories, it’s duly ominous. What is more ominous is that Hyde is pretty much immune to everything including Emma and Regina working together

(Awesome line:
Regina: I don’t know how strong I am without my evil half
Emma: Evil didn’t make you strong)

Did I mention how much I love how Emma and Regina bounce off each other.

So Hyde is the big bad and evil and… Jekyll jury-rigs an anti-hyde weapon and some anti-hyde handcuffs. He’s a prisoner now. Well that was anti-climactic. Is he just there to increase the amount of sexiness in the season?

I approve of this if he is. Now bring back the Knave. I know he doesn’t have a storyline, he doesn’t need one – he can just lurk in the corner and look roguish and sad.

Anyway, I digress.

Hyde is duly imprisoned but Emma is concerned – her hands have started shaking and she starts to have visions of her fighting someone. Her symptoms are looking a lot like Aladdin’s. While she absolutely refuses to talk to her knowledgeable, magically experienced and loving friends and family about this (even being reluctant when Archie shows up for therapy) and instead decides to question evil Hyde who makes Cryptic Comments and totally doesn’t have an ulterior motive.

Really Emma? You’re better than this. Or should be.

This leads Emma to going to see an Oracle who got on the dirigible and totally believing her visions that she’s going to meet a shadowy figure fighting in a really impractical robe who will then stab her (Emma… no-one can fight in that robe, no way is that legit).

Hyde has some more taunts, whether Emma, like the Saviours before her – will try to help the villain which will kill her if she accepts them

Which is what Mary Margaret is doing – she wanders into the woods trying to find the people who fled offering them food and shelter and peace and love and tie-dyes.

Ok, am I the only one beginning to spy a very very clumsy refugee angle here? We have the people of Untold Stories – and that already implies a power imbalance. I mean aren’t the people of UNTOLD stories lesser than power houses like Snow White? On one side we have Mary Margaret asking a small horde of non-sexy pirates to come home and stab her in her bed while she sleeps, on the other we’re going to have Emma kicking out starving children in case they’re the enemy (ok, maybe Once Upon a Time will handle it with more subtlety than that.)

Meanwhile Regina and Zelena are having issues. Which I kind of like. I mean I quite like them as sisters, but I also think the two went from “sworn enemies” to “bestest sister friends” ever in an inordinately short period. They’re both clearly trying and Regina is, equally, clearly irritated by her sister. This comes to a head when Zelena reveals she has a present from the dead Robin to Regina… and she’s kind of lost it.

At Mary Margaret’s suggestion – Regina and Zelena talk about it and have a fight: Regina admits she blames Zelena for Robin being “annihilated” while Zelena, always seeking sisterly bonding, is bitter that Regina removed the Evil Queen part of herself – the part of her closest to Zelena herself. The two have issues

But Henry has some decent wisdom – he points out to Regina that they only reason they think Robin is “annihilated” and not in whatever afterlife there is is because Hades said so. And villains are not exactly nice trustworthy people (hear that Emma?!) – they can hope for something better

Of course Mary Maragret takes that one better and makes it even more nauseatingly sweet. See Regina wants to know how Mary Margaret kept everything so positive when Regina was so terribad awful. Well Mary Margaret chose hope! See even if everything is terrible and awful you can always deny reality and decide everything is going to be ok because you want it to and then you can sing to bluebells and wish on stars and just CHOOSE HOPE

I’m paraphrasing. Also Doc clearly spends his life baking entire trays of cannabis brownies for the Charmings. Also, if you want any greater proof that Regina is a good woman then note that she hasn’t turned Mary Margaret into something fluffy, adorable and easily squished.

Meanwhile Zelena comes home to find her sister – but she’s so amazingly dressed it simply has to be the evil one

Time to catch up with Gold who has sold the town to Hyde to get access to Morpheus’s sand, let him enter Belle’s dreams and be able to wake her up. It starts going to plan with him reliving the past with Belle as a servant and him as Rumple (I forgot what he was like like this and he’s still creepy) – he reminds Belle of how she fell in love with him… (also dancing to “tale as old as time” have to give points)

…and sadly for him also reminds her of the many many many many promises she’s broken. Belle and Gold’s storyline is such an awesome antithesis of everything fairy tales stand for. True Love does not conquer all. She loves Gold. He loves her. But it’s not enough when he continues to lie to her, continues to be so untrustworthy and will just break her heart again and again. She would rather remain asleep – and protect her unborn child from him – than wake up and expose them both to Rumple

Which means she passes Morpheus’s test! He is willing to wake her up because he now knows Belle isn’t going to fall for Rumple’s shenanigans again. And why is he so invested? Becasuse he’s not Morpheus – he’s Belle’s unborn child also caught by the dreaming sand…

…and apparently as intelligent and comprehending of his parents’ relationship history as a fully grown adult? Ooookay? Is no-one going to talk about this?

Of course not: ok Gold is a little more focused that bow his second son has also lost complete and utter faith in him as well which is more than a little devastating to him.

Morpheus wakes Belle and they go home - but not home with Gold.