Friday, November 11, 2016

America Horror Story, Season 6, Episode 9: Chapter 9

For some reason the title of this show feels ironic today. Like nothing on TV can truly be a real American Horror Story any more. Except maybe the news.

Lee and Audrey have just found another survivor – or, rather, Dylan, an actor arrives on the dead Sid’s instructions to stir up a little more drama in a show he assumed would be dead by now. Well it is dead… but not quite the way they thought

Dylan is ex military and is confident he can help them escape – and they decide to go steal one of the Polk’s trucks (so Lee can have another chance to grab the camera with her murder confession on it as well).

Audrey also pushes to rescue Monet

She finds Monet. Lee finds her camera – things are looking good. Except the Polks find Dylan and he is promptly murdered. Audrey kills a Polk in return – but then the Polks bail, taking the truck with them.

Because the Butcher and her minions are on their way – and without their mother the Polks fear they have no protection and even they’re smart enough to get well away.

Unable to move quickly, Lee tells Audrey and Monet to run. And they do – leaving Lee behind

They flee to shelter, but have managed to hold on to the camera, their proof of their own innocence. They watch the tape with all the horrors on it – and see Lee’s confession

Time to start drinking. And I don’t blame them one tiny iota. There are times to be teetotaller. This is not one of them

But outside, Lee isn’t dead. Lee is saved by… someone? I think it’s Forest Gaga since she arrives with a pig heart she makes Lee eat

Yes, we have a new Butcher, complete with the same dramatic speeches which is kind of glorious

Which brings us to the new victims. We have some folks with cameras deciding that going to the Roanoke nightmare house (since they were such big fans of the first season) with cameras during the blood moon is a great great great way to get lots of hits and go viral

See, I’m coming to really really like this house. Think of how we could use it to help humanity – anyone who says “hey I’m going to go to the Roanoke house during the blood moon” is doing us all a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool

After finding one vanishing body and the cops not believing them (apparently a lot of fools try suicide by Kathy Griffin Accent) they decide to go back to the house again. I’m not even going to pretend to learn the names of these dead-people walking

When Butcher-Lee kills one of them they totally had it coming.

The remaining two run around screaming finding body after body until they finally find Sid’s command centre and watch on the cameras there as Lee moves on Audrey and Monet. They decide to go help rather than run so fast they break several world records

Lee reaches Monet and Audrey who are obviously happy to see her – right before she kills Monet and after a long game of cat and mouse, buries a clever in her then drops her down a deep hole. Presumably dead.

The “rescue” people show up and are horrifically and awfully slaughtered by Butcher Lee and her minions. Being impaled and burned to death is a horrible way to die but, again, seriously people stay away from the death house.

The next day the police arrive, find a whole lot of bodies and, presumably, start shredding all the transcripts of the 911 calls they ignored from the inept film makers because daaaamn that’s one awkward lawsuit

They find 2 people alive – Lee, no longer Butcher possessed (apparently) and Audrey (who might actually be Wolverine). Audrey reacts quite violently to the presence of Lee and tries to shoot her, yelling she’s a murderer. Unfortunately for her, pointing a gun at someone while surrounded by cops isn’t a great survival mechanism – they shoot her.

Guess her healing powers have limits

Is this our last survivor then? Lee? Ok, I have to admit I did not see that coming (also for a show that loves Horror Movie Cliches – a Black woman being the one who lives is pretty damn surprising).

Of course, there’s still an episode left. AND she may be Butcher-fied. AND there’s a video out there of her confessing to murder so I don’t see her living Happily Ever After