Saturday, July 29, 2017

Zoo, Season 3, Episode 5, Drop it Like it's Hot

The news is reporting on all the drama of the last episode by saying New York is the latest city to be “ravaged” by flying hybrids

Ravaged? Methinks that’s a trifle exaggeration I think. I’ve seen more violence at footbal games.

The hyrbids are currently chasing the drone on the improbably expensive plane and my they can fly fast to keep up. The gang hastily hatches a plan to drop the drone in the Mexican volcano

These would be the eruption causing volcano birds. They’re  going to drop in a volcano. Yes. Yes they are.

With all the birds smacking the plane (which just causes rumbling… I mean a moderate sized goose can take down a plane if it hits the engine - all of these giant birds just bounce off) then our torture monkey in the basement (this plane has a basement, just run with it) manages to escape and hide in one of Jamie’s flash cars.

The same car Abe, Dariela and Jackson put the drone into and drop into a volcano


The hilarious thing is that this is everyone’s reaction! Abe, Mitch, Jackson, Jamie “we just dropped a guy in a volcano!” “whoops, how embarrassing!”

Abe, Dariela and Jackson also do some secret sharing: Isaac is imprisoned and Abigail is Jackson’s sister. Jackson has embraced this weird sense of responsibility for the evil stuff his sister does and somehow this takes priority over saving Isaac. So this ends up with Jackson going down to the volcano, coincidentally running into Tessa again who just happens to be passing through this part of Mexico. As you do

They want to convince the remaining residents to evacuate from the volcano and while doing so get to spend some time bonding including Tessa explaining why she’s extra pissed at his dad because she always always wanted to be a mother and now can’t be; while Jackson brings out a tragic dead family from is-this-the-first-time-it’s-been-mentioned land? I mean shouldn’t this have come up before at some point? Is this a hasty copy and pase job?

Anyway, duly sad and bonded again they go to an old woman who is known as a witch because she can apparently control the hybrids. Eerily they see that the volcanic ash and smoke also hasn’t reached her little clearing. When introduced she asks Jackson if he is Mr. Duncan. Jackson says yes, because why not? So the nice men with the big guns take him to a shipping container where they have a giant baboon hybrid locked up - and it speaks and knows Jackson’s name and I just don’t know any more. Talking baboons! Here’s lots of action and fighting and Jackson destroys the clicker thing he uses to control his trained lions and Tessa tries to appeal to them because he’s Abigail’s sister and everything is confusing and nothing works

So Jackson calls his lions. Without any machine, just using his woo-woo - definitive proof he has woo-wooo

Of course I would like to point out controlling lions is nothing compared to the fact the last time we saw these they were in Seattle and now they’re, where, Yucatan? Teleporting lions!

This is a family trait apparently since Abigail, injured after being shot, is saved by using her woo-woo to call help her

If we’re assuming being dragged by giant dogs with an oozing stomach wound is help. I guess.

Back to Abe and Dariela and they get a message from Reiden Global that everything is totally fine and Isaac is totally ok and not to worry

Naturally they don’t believe that but Abe wants to know why Reiden needs Clem so much - so they search her room. There they find pregnancy hormones and her bloody shirt which, when tested, confirms not just that she’s pregnant but that her baby has hybrid genes which are the key to curing human sterility

Abe is super happy that they didn’t hand her over to Reiden because the world now relies on her

Time for Dariela to make a confession. To which Abe screams and shouts at her and drives her from his lab

Ok, I’m done with this constant narrative, I really am. Their whole relationship this season has been “Dariela does unforgivable thing, Abe is super pissed at her.” over and over. Especially here, wasn’t Abe originally the one who was going to make the deal? She just got there first

The whole dynamic seems to be about setting up a…. “Justified” (using that term while trying not to vomit) abusive relationship where Abe stomps around and shouts and screams at Dariela but we’re supposed to be OK with it because, yes, she’s done not just one but several unforgivable things. This is not ok. And it’s such a weird contrast to who Abe was - a man so compassionate he was unwilling to use a gun even in self-defence. A man to whom family - chosen family - means everything. This massive, incredibly huge man who was nevertheless one of the sweetest, gentlest people you could ever hope to meet.

Dariela tries to call off the deal but can’t. And she and Abe have an awful painful moment where she says she did this so they could get their son back and Abe wouldn’t have to share the guilt. But she cannot stay married to a man who despises her and, after this is over, wants a divorce. She even points out this is his chance to disagree with her… he doesn’t, instead ignoring everything she said and reaffirms everything he said about saving Clem

Jaime’s captors realise they can’t make any of the old deals with Leanne, the Reiden lady, dead and Dariela backing out. But when they discover Clem’s pregnant they plan to sell her to the highest bidder

Back in New York, Mitch is trying to get Jamie free after Loga arrested her for murdering Leanne. She says the key to releasing her is in files that her captured Shepherd guy, Mansdale, had. Shame he’s in a volcano now. Oopsie

Rather than seeking any kind of legal advice she says she wants to represent herself - and declare Mitch as co-counsel (as she is diagnosed with PTSD she is legally entitled to a co-counsel). Jamie insists they need the files to prove her claim of self defence and those files are on Leanne’s laptop and heavily encrypted

Mitch and Logan work together (largely because Mitch blackmailed Logan because Mitch is a bastard and proud of it) to get those files but all the while snipe over Jaime since they’ve both been in a relationship with her. Mitch plans to carry on where they left off after his coma, ignoring Logan while Logan insists that Jaime has change and gone over the edge now which is why he left her. He even cites Mansfield’s murder as proof Jaime is dangerous… except Mitch knows he’s not dead (locked up and tortured but not dead…). This is apparently proof that Logan doesn’t know Jaime and blah blah snipe snipe blah antlers.

After much messing with corpses they managed to de-encrypt the le which says absolutely nothing about Jaime - just about how Reiden has managed to acquire a pharmaceutical company.

Which turns out this is exactly what Jaime wanted. She didn’t actually killed Leanne, just found her dead (everyone totally takes her word for this… for some reason) but she wanted the file off her computer. Clearly the easiest way to do this was to confess to murder and have the police obtain the file rather than wasting their pesky time trying to find the actual killer

This is Jaime’s idea of problem solving. I mean, really, confessing to murder to de-encrypt a document. Of course this makes sense. She also insists she never killed a Shepherd because killing is wrong guys. This makes Logan more interested while Mitch is pulling back because he’s not happy with all this lying

Reiden has acquired this company because they want the drug Melvatox B: which Reiden is now giving to Isaac and the other kidnapped children. Children who are so sheltered they mistake pills for candy? Who are these kids who don't know what medicine looks like?