Vampire Diaries, Season 7, Episode 7: Mommie Dearest

In the future with Damon and Alaric going to save a future Caroline so a future Stefan doesn’t walk into a trap. Damon does instead. This is not good planning! Why do they always fail to plan?! Why?

Anyway in the present we’re finding out if Caroline has been mystically impregnated with her teacher’s babies – and my gods that is wrong on so many levels. On top of this we have the weirdness of a pregnant vampire. Apparently she’s not pregnant and neither of them consider whether pregnancy tests even work on vampires (I guess this answers the question whether vampires urinate?)

Matt is still faced with the huge number of people who have been compelled to hang around the abandoned high school and give blood – why anyone would do this seems to confuse Matt and Caroline. More of them are all gathering in the Grill

What confuses Matt is that there’s no bite marks, the humans are being “fattened up” with supplements to make them extra bloody….

…I will forever hate this show for making me type this sentence. Fattening up a blood supply? Really?

And Caroline has morning sickeness.

They decide to ask Valerie to syphon off all the compulsion but she doesn’t see the point – they’ll just be replaced. She does it anyway. Valerie continues to insist Caroline is pregnant

And Beau appears. They fight – and Caroline, Matt and Valerie use magic to hide. Fighting Beau I replaced with Valerie and Caroline with Caroline asking how she knows about the baby switching spell anyway. It turns out Valerie used the spell to try and save her own baby though it didn’t work.

  

Stefan’s master plan to bring down Julian now involves inviting Lily to thanksgiving dinner. Damon is as bemused by this nonsense as me. He’s also pissed off because, of course, Lily is responsible for Elena being all Sleeping Beauty and Stefan has kind of tromped all over that by inviting Lily. And Stefan tries to openly convince Lily her true love is bad.

Which is hard in the Vampire Diaries world, because everyone is evil.

Stefan tells Lily about Julian beating Valerie into a miscarriage – Lily doesn’t believe anything Valerie says because it’s easier not to believe it and Stefan vervains her. That’ll be convincing.

The Originals, Season Three, Episode Seven: Out of the Easy

Elijah slices his hand so that Freya can prepare a locator spell to find Rebekah.  Klaus however is occupying his time having sex with Aurora.  Freya's spell doesn't work because the cloaking spell is too strong.  Freya tells everyone to go so that she can can continue to work.  Marcel wants to see what information he can find out from the Stryx but Elijah is convinced that Marcel should be spending his time stopping Davina, from activating Lucian and Tristan's weapon. When Marcel balks at Elijah's command, Elijah assures Marcel that he will stop at nothing to see Rebekah safe. Hayley questions if they are going to kill someone and Elijah agrees that they will kill many.

Elijah goes to find Klaus and informs him that Rebekah is missing. Aurora makes an appearance and says that Rebekah is not missing and that if everyone behaves, she will reveal Rebekah's location. Elijah threatens to hurt Tristan and both Klaus and Aurora inform Elijah that now that his compulsion has been removed that there is no need to worry.  Klaus asks Aurora for a moment with his brother.  Once alone, Klaus promises to get Rebekah back and that he is keeping Aurora close.  When Elijah calls Klaus's plan lecherous and questions if the plans on doing the same thing to get the medallion back from Tristan and Lucian, Klaus responds that they are not his type.  Elijah however is certain that Aurora will always protect Tristan but suggests that they can break the advantage that Tristan, Lucian and Aurora have.  Elijah's big plan is to invite the three of them for Thanksgiving dinner and then put Lucian, Tristan and Aurora against one another.

Tristan opens up the coffin which was supposed to contain Rebekah's body and instead finds two envelopes instead.  This is when Aurora makes her appearance and Tristan is not impressed that she has been in New Orleans for days and is only just now choosing to see him.  Tristan questions what Aurora has done with Rebekah because they had planned to use Rebekah as bait.  Aurora explains that she likes to be in control of her own fate.  The siblings discuss the dinner invitation to the Mikaelson's and Aurora promises that she will take care of Tristan.

Cami is still being kept prisoner by Lucian and she makes it clear that she is not going to sit pretty and act happy.  Lucian informs Cami about his plan to have dinner with the Mikaelsons.  Cami warns Lucian that one of her friends will notice that she is gone but Lucian makes it clear that she will be free of vervain soon.  Lucian answers a knock at his door and introduces Cami to Anton, a vampire he is leaving in charge of Cami.  Lucian instructs Anton that if he does not hear from him by nightfall, he is to kill Cami.

Marcel meets with Davina and brings up the Stryx. It seems that the ancestors have already informed her of their presence in town. Marcel informs Davina that the Stryx want her to help take down the Mikaelsons and that if she refuses, they will kill her and that if she accepts, Klaus will kill her.  Davina however is confident that she can handle the situation because she is no longer the little girl hiding in an attic.  Davina walks off after informing Marcel that she doesn't run from anyone.

Hayley informs Jackson of her plans to help the Mikaelsons and he is not in the least bit impressed. Hayley says that she wants to spend thanksgiving with Jackson and Hope but Tristan, Lucian and Aurora took Rebekah.  Jackson counters that that they also came for Hayley. Hayley however feels that she must help because Rebekah took care of Hope for months and because Rebekah is Hope's aunt. Jackson believes that all Hayley has to do is keep Hope safe because the Mikaelsons don't need any help killing anyone.  Jackson tells Hayley that they don't have to fight and she acknowledges his feelings.

Tristan, Lucian and Aurora have arrived and are greeted by Klaus. Elijah arrives and immediately brings up the prophecy and Tristan asserts that Rebekah has fallen as a precautionary measure. Elijah brings up the alliance between Tristan and Lucian and Klaus makes it clear that they expect an honest negotiation this evening.

Marcel finds Vincent sitting in a bar and Vincent is not at all welcoming.  Marcel explains about the Stryx and that they represent a threat to Davina.  Marcel says that he doesn't want to see Davina dead and that Davina refuses to leave town.  Vincent suggests that there's a way to get Davina out of trouble but that Marcel isn't going to like it.

Back at the table, Elijah snarks about enjoying the lies and betrayal of Thanksgiving but Aurora finds this inquisition like supper rude.  Tristan says that he and Lucian arrived as allies because they would have been viewed as suspicious otherwise. Lucian argues that they came to protect the Originals and themselves. It seems that the murders were meant to control a frightened human populace and it did after all lead to Marcel joining the Stryx.  Lucian adds that a police investigation also left an opening to get their hands on the medallion.

Cami is not impressed to be watching football with Anton and he orders her to shut up and get him a beer.  When Cami balks, Anton asks if he should find another way to quench his thirst. When Cami takes to long Antone makes it clear that while he cannot kill Cami, he can break her bones, slice up her face, heal her and do it all over again.  Anton tells Cami to drink up because she is not going anywhere.

Klaus says that the medallion is not a wise strategy for those trying to protect them.  Aurora responds that there's no reason why she should't be trusted with protecting her sire and Lucian is quick to snark that it's fine as long as Aurora doesn't have one of her episodes.  This is clearly an allusion to Aurora's battle with depression.  Elijah asks Klaus why they shouldn't just compel all of the first born and Aurora, Lucian and Tristan all giggle. Aurora makes it clear that after losing a century to compulsion, they would not allow themselves to be vulnerable again.  Elijah makes it clear that compulsion is not his only party trick.  Tristan acknowledges that to live, the Originals need to continue to exist and that young upstarts have clearly come to this conclusion as well.  Tristan adds that in a perfect world, the Original family would allow themselves to be sealed away forever.

Marcel seeks out Freya, who has yet to find any sign of Rebekah.  Freya tells Marcel that she is not giving up and leaves the room.

Vincent goes to see Davina and she is not impressed to see him because this is witch business.  Davina again declares that she can deal with The Stryx.  Vincent says that Davina doesn't like it when people disagree with her and that he should be careful otherwise he will end up like all of the others Davina got mad at last time.  Davina explains that she was attacked and Vincent asks if she had Van's mother killed and if she will kill anyone who disagrees with her. Davina responds that she took care of a threat and will do it again if anyone tries to stand against her.  Davina walks outside to find Van waiting for her with a willow hoop in hand. Yes, it seems that Davina's little conversation with Vincent was overheard by the witches.  When Davina turns around, Vincent is also holding a willow hoop.

The dinner is interrupted by Freya and Aurora is not impressed to have to deal with the long lost sister. Freya demands to know what Aurora did with Rebekah, and Aurora responds that the prophesy has the Originals acting like fools and that she is not losing her life to foolishness. Aurora admits that she decided to put Rebekah somewhere safe - at the bottom of the ocean.  Klaus asks Aurora if she is bluffing and Aurora smiles, saying that Rebekah has never been safer. When Klaus gets to his feet in anger, Tristan grabs Freya, saying that if Aurora is harmed that he will return the favor.  Tristan finds himself pushed aside by Elijah in short order with his face against a wall.  When Lucian snarks about the party falling apart, Klaus warns him off, only to learn that if Lucian is killed, he won't be able to protect Cami.  An angry Aurora demands to know who Cami is because this is the second time that she has heard Cami's name.  Freya uses magic on Aurora, informing her that she has bigger problems. Elijah is told to question Lucian, while Klaus questions Tristan.

Van calls out to the witches that Davina is a murderer.  Davina calls out that she is sorry for what happened but that she was dealing with a mutiny.  Vincent tells Davina that the law states that if you kill a witch, you lose your place among the witches.  Vincent adds that Davina needs to be shunned.

Sleepy Hollow, Season 3, Episode 8: Novus Ordo Seclorum

Pandora washes and unbandages they newly arrived man who does not look well. He’s not a happy guy, angry at extinction and pollution. His Mouldy Hippiness is enraged. Yes, he is the Mummy Hippy! Apparently Pandora and His Mouldy Hippiness have romantic history and they have being bothered by the Witnesses before. He then uses her for the “eye” which comes with a big glowy light

Meanwhile Reynolds, Sophie and Abbie are having an… awkward conversation. Atticus has been arrested but isn’t talking and the whole investigation may be crumbling while Abbie is not at all amused that no-one told her Sophie was an undercover cop with added issues with Abbie not wanting to tell them why Atticus is after Jenny. She’s also far more focused on finding her sister than the police investigation.

She goes to join Ichabod and Joe instead

His Mouldy Hippiness also has Jenny, all consumed by red glowyness.  – and His Mouldy Hippiness drains that red energy into himself, though he can’t take it all too quickly apparently. They run to Jenny – but she, Pandora and the Hippy Mummy all disappear in a flash of light, leaving only a Convenient Clue in the form of a Sumerian parchment (hey, did the Sumerians have parchment? Or were we on clay tablets back then?)

Looking at it, Ichabod declares they are not just facing a Mummy Hippy, but the God of Mummy Hippies

He’s known as the Hidden One and Ichabod has books connecting to the shiny gem that Jenny absorbed – known as the All Seeing Eye, which is what caused Jenny’s visions and scrawled messages. Which basically say The Hidden One is going to take over the world. This is, apparently why the all seeing eye is printed on American money as a warning – because of Ben Franklin (who Ichabod didn’t like much). It’s also a masonic symbol which Franklin was also behind – so they need to get a special Mason book from Albany in some revered place of learning.

Which is a college frat party complete with togas, alcohol and a random fight. They find the book and Joe nicely snarks at Ichabod’s constant name dropping, as he reads the book and drags up another convoluted flashback into how Washington also tried to harness the glowy red gem of doom which a guy then absorbed like Jenny did then used as a mini-nuke, killing him in the process.

So now they need to study Paul Revere, arcane expert’s, notes which tells them that the staff the gem is connected to can draw the gem into it – it’s a magical magnet. That staff was turned into a casing they had – which both seals the eye and hides it. They just need to get it out of evidence where it is currently being kept.

American Horror Story, Season 5, Episode 7: Flicker

Will Drake is moving into the hotel with a whole team of builders to do so – and telling his son that he and the Countess are going to be together long term – yes he continues to be de-gayed on this show. Who knew the key to conversation “therapy” was vampirism?

Except for those pesky steel walls and hidden chambers in the hotel when James turned it into a murder lair. There are also apparently long forgotten vampires sealed in the walls.

Iris takes the Countess to see the newly chomped on construction workers and she claims to not know what killed them – but she looks frightened.

Those wild vampires eat another random guest.

Now to a random retro film set which looks like it’s filming a cringeworthy racist film with staff members throwing out homophobic slurs. We’re in 1925 in Hollywood for some reason. They’ve resurrected one of the actors to be a 1920s leading man with a dreadful Italian accent – Rudolpho, a small part actor – the Countess, presumably in her human days, a really really long dance scene, a 3 way dance off and a bisexual threesome. After he dies, the countess nearly commits suicide in James’ hotel (when the hotel-owning serial killer was still alive) and is grabbed by him.

She visits the grave – and Natasha and Rudolpho, alive, find her. Apparently while she thought Rudy was dead she decided she might as well be rich and grieving so married James. She was quite happy to join him in and encourage his murdering spree.

While Rudy describes, with nifty retro-imagery and lots of elegant language and Nosferatu homage – how he was turned into a vampire. They, in turn, offer to turn her and she accepts – but James appears to be a witness

And to the present and our two starving raging vampires are, of course, Rudy and his wife. And his wife blames his infatuation for the Countess of them being locked up – describing her as his “pet”. They continue to feast on the guests until they are fully restored

Also in the present, James and the Countess sit down to dinner –apparently a monthly habit they have (much to Hazel’s distaste since she’s infatuated with James and hates the countess). She tells him her upcoming plan to marry Will Drake which, despite pleasantries, does not thrill him. James pretty much expects her to kill him and there’s a whole lot of bitter tension and sniping across the table. He then tells her what he did to Rudy and his wife, out of jealousy for her loving Rudy but not him – locking them up in his hotel behind steel walls for decades.

Supernatural, Season 11, Episode 7: Plush

Creepy Rabbit-headed man attacks and slaughters a man who both needs to treat his wife better and recycle a whole lot more (they filled two of these bins? How often does the dustman pick up, quarterly?! SHAME!)

So far I’m team creepy rabbit mask.

Sam still seems to believe in his holy visions – personally I think that you may believe in visions from god, but since this all knowing, all powerful being is only sending cryptic useless nonsense, said god isn’t trying to help, he’s just messing with you. He resorts to desperate prayer to try and make sense of them. Dean is duly sarcastic. Dean very reasonably points out they have faced the apocalypse(s… can apocalypse be plural?) and god didn’t bother to stir from his cloud but now his sister is running amok and he’s pulling out the visions?

Aaah, sibling rivalry.

Their research is also not helping and their angst is interrupted by the very fun Sherriff Donna calling them in to take care of the evil Bunnies

And greet them with hugs. She and her men have arrested Bunny guy who is very strong –and the bunny head does not detach. She’s called them in just in case they have a monster-headed bunny thing. Extra awkwardness with a guy called Doug (the same name as her ex) is ridiculously unsubtle with his crush.

Apparently murder bunny didn’t kill the wife, only the husband. Jody is right, the bunny is freaking terrifying. After a series of bad jokes the bunny nearly kills Dean with surprising strength.

They follow a tattoo and find the man’s girlfriend, Kylie who identifies him from the bunny mask, calls him Mike and doesn’t think he’s the stabbing kind. It sounds like the mask cursed/possessed him.

Really?

Donna and Doug#2 decide to take Bunny Mike to the hospital (and we have a terrible moment where Donna tries to prove she doesn’t need help from a man by… needing help. Two person job Donna, regardless of gender, bunny mike is a big guy). When Bunny Mike wakes up and attacks Donna, Doug shoots him. The mask comes off and they see a normal 19 year old boy.

Thinning the Herd by Adrian Phoenix

Fortune tellers and hippies are dying in large numbers in Oregon – only noticed by one man. A man sworn to protect the city, a hero in his own mind, a man who knows the secrets of the supernatural

Hal, a Dogcatcher, And he wields a mean catchpole.

I just… can’t even begin to express my opinions about the protagonist, Hal. On so many levels he’s a parody of awfulness. He’s clueless, arrogant and ridiculously full of himself and his abilities and his roles. He is also skilled, talented, brave and in some ways every bit the hero he thinks he is. At the same time, while he’s an appalling joke, he’s constantly treated as that – he’s often terrible and ridiculous but, at the same time, I think we’re fully expected to see him as that. He’s awful, but I don’t think we’re meant to ignore the fact – hence his constant abuse of poor cyclists for example. I don’t think we’re expected to see his truly epic fighting skills and not think that he’s also totally a cool person which he clearly isn’t.

And I can’t deny that he’s funny. His interactions with the people around him, his ridiculous belief that he’s not just a superhero but that everyone fully knows about it. His firm refusal to deal with reality, his happy poking of corpses… it’s funny, it’s really really funny.

I just don’t know with this guy. I alternate being repelled and amused by him – and I think that’s intentional

It helps that some of the characters around him – especially the two other main characters: Nicka and Galahad - is pretty amazing and hilarious. They are both yokai, kind of reverse were-animals, animal that become human during the day. So we have a cat, with all the immense sarcasm that requires, and a wolf – who can easily be distracted by a well thrown squeaky toy (of course, the cat can easily be fascinate by a bell as well).

The three of them make for a hilariously combination. And I like the idea if were animals that aren’t you classic human-to-animal because why not have both? I’m not so sure about calling them “yokai” though, especially in a setting that has no Asian characters.

Izombie, Season 2, Episode 7: Abra Cadaver

Liv insists on having a serious talk about Major and the downside of zombiedom relationship – not just the lack of sex but also because her personality is inclined to change so radically based on her last meal. Major insists he’s not going away

Time for this week’s death – a man in goth clothes who has apparently been killed by a playing card.

The man is called Sid Wicked (he’s a magician apparently – and part of a huge magician convention) and the card did have a sharp metal edge. They interview the maid (who has a very expensive manicure for someone working with their hands all day) who says Sid was yelling at the “angels”.

Ravi also finds that a not-big-fan of Sid’s sent him a rotten fish. Also Ravi is, of course, geekily happy about the Magician Convention because he’s Ravi.

At the morgue we are reminded that Ravi is still in a relationship with the hardly-seen Steph (and not unhappy but not thrilled) and Liv makes another disturbingly tasty brainy meal. She now has magician skills and morbid showmanship. Nahhh, not running with this one.

And Ravi’s relationship issues are shown by Peyton still living with him and Major and she decides to dance in random shorts in the kitchen (is that breakfast? Because dancing in the morning is forbidden by international treaty). And Ravi is being all kinds of leery about how quickly Steph is moving in the relationship (albeit not that quickly) and apparently celebrating Bonfire Night in late November or December. Peyton amusingly treats him accordingly for his silliness

Especially when Major joins them to discuss just how extreme Liv brains can get. They don’t reassure him much.

Ravi is also very unenthused about his date with Steph which is fully understandable when we see the trainwreck of awful that is her Bonfire Night celebration. She’s also clearly put a whole lot of money, time and effort into producing this Awfulness which is all kind of sad and adds to Ravi’s unease.

He wakes up hung over with her planning waay more time together and he breaks up with her.

Police investigation points to Sid being widely hated in the magical community because he kept revealing the methods beyond their magic tricks which is a big no-no. They go on to interview another magician and find she is both skilled with playing cards – and may have been getting married to the victim. She’s also missing a card from her metal tipped card deck. She tells them all about why she hated him, doubts very much that Sid is dead – and has a good alibi.

Devices Shining Brightly (Magnificent Devices #9) by Shelley Adina

It is time for the event of the season – the Dunsmuirs are holding a party to celebrate Claire and Andrew’s marriage and everyone who is everyone will be invited to take part.

Of course that includes Claire’s best friend Alice and her fiancé Ian. And Alice is beginning to realise what it means to be marriage to a British noble – and while she loves him, she’s having second thoughts about everything that comes with him

Gloria Meriwether-Astor’s cousins also arrive and, of course, get an invite – but in the process the tensions in the family and in Gloria’s family business come to light

This is a short story, and pretty much an ideal example of one for me.

The plot is fun and works so well with the rest of the world. I don’t think you will need to read this book to transition from the last book to Gloria’s adventures in the next novel. But by reading this it nicely will fill in a lot of gaps and really set up the next chapter. We’ve been introduced to the new principle characters and the details of the conflict. It’s a truly excellent prologue that really tells us why all the characters are there and what they are doing and their goals.

The next book can launch right into the story because everything has been excellently established without the need to make it essential. For me this is exactly what a short story needs to do – add richness to the world and characters without making them an essential component.

It also does this through a fun little story. It’s not super-dramatic and it’s certainly not action packed. But that’s a good thing – Claire et al seem to spend so much of their life in peril and action that this is an excellent change of pace. Why not just have a party? Let’s see these characters living together, dealing with something relatively mundane together – it’s lighter and fun because of it.

It also has some very nice challenges and examination of sexism of the era. There’s the obvious – all of the women are planning their own lives. Even better, they’re all planning different lives, different paths – because there’s more than one way for a woman to live and be strong and express her agency.

There are some excellent call outs – Alice fighting fiercely and courageously against the idea that she cannot captain her own airship. This is the kind of thing I’d expect on most female led steampunks at this point.