Forever Season 1, Episode 14: Hitler on the Half-Shell

Abe is getting a medical for his life insurance – and the nice doctor offers Henry a deal as well. Henry is not really in the market for life insurance (Abe finds it immensely amusing). More poignantly, she asks about Henry’s family’s medical history and he tells her his parents died when he was born and she sees the numbers tattooed on his arm in the Nazi concentration camp. This leads to a classic Henry monologue, this about apologies and old wounds, some of which never heal.

Henry offers again to search to see if there are any records of Abe’s biological parents, but without a last name there’s little they can do.

Murder scene time! And Henry is captivated by art much to Hanson and Jo’s wry amusement. The murder victim is a Karl Hass, an art dealer who has had several paintings stolen as well. He was bludgeoned by a heavy object marked with a swastika. The same swastika as is on the bottom of the statue Henry was admiring – the murder weapon.  And it’s a genuine, precious piece of art stolen by the Nazis.

To the morgue and Lucas realises in horror, by means of a quip, that the brilliant Henry has never heard of Indiana Jones. Hanson and Jo find that Hass’s father was Otto Heidrich, a high ranking Nazi in charge of stealing art across Europe. Hence the art collection which Otto managed to flee Europe with.

They interview Karl’s son – who is apparently completely ignorant of his family history (and not very close to his dad, either). Which makes for an awkward revelation – and Karl’s desperate protest that his dad and granddad were good men.

Which segues into a flashback of Henry back in 1812 confronted in a very posh gentleman’s club about his family’s participant in the slave trade. Henry protests that his family would never do such a thing! But it’s clear that everyone there knows his family is involved.

Which moves onto the present where Henry says how hard it is to accept your family has profited from the death of millions of innocents.

They follow some clues to a jeweller who tells them that Karl gave him a painting – a Monet, Waterlillies. The priceless painting belonged to the jeweller, Spehr’s, family before the war and Karl, a complete stranger, gave him the painting for free. Karl wanted to return all of his father’s stolen art to the rightful owners. He recites a quote “a good man apologises for the mistakes of the past, a great man corrects them.”

Supernatural, Season 10, Episode 12: About a Boy

Opening credit’s death! A guy gets zapped with bright light after being kicked out of a bar by a guy who says the dead man owes him money, leaving behind only a smoking pile of clothes. Now he’s never going to pay the debt back. Also, very lacking in gore for supernatural.

To the Winchester Bunker, where Dean is having a long angsty research fest trying to find some way to remove the Mark of Cain. He is doing his very best angst face (he has so much practice) when Sam comes in with a case of the vanishing-smoking-clothes people which Dean thinks Sam should check out… alone. He hasn’t left the bunker in a week and he doesn’t intend to change that while he’s still wallowing in Charlie guilt. Their argument does let Dean taunt Sam about his prolonged Easter Bunny belief (hey, I like these brother moments).

Anyway he convinces Dean (I’m not quite sure when that happened) and they go play FBI agents and question witnesses – who, alas, is all about probing aliens (dean would still prefer the little green dudes to angels). Sam is worried about Dean questioning people alone in a dive bar, but Dean calls it “his comfort zone.” Though Dean himself doesn’t seem sure. He orders a drink – despite his obvious ongoing worry.

He questions the bar tender - the man who kicked the vanished guy out of the bar and he doesn’t have nice things to say about the victim. All of this is overheard by a pensive woman sat at the bar. When the bar tender moves on she, Tina, speaks up in the victim, JP’s defence – he wasn’t trustworthy but he wasn’t all bad. And this conversation is overheard by a grizzled looking man in the corner. Everyone in this bar is very bored and waaay too interested in other people. Tina and Dean get to drinking and reminiscing about sad childhoods.

After catching up with Sam who has found nothing, Dean sees grizzled guy leave after Tina and runs to see what’s happening – just to hear a scream, see a flash of light and find her empty, smoking clothes. Right before the same thing happens to him.

The bright flash of light transports Dean into a ragged, locked room – and turns him into a teenager. (Can I second this “seriously”? Oh Supernatural, it’s a gimmick episode.) In a neighbouring room, through a hole in the wall, is teen Tina and Teen JP as well. Grizzled guy grunts his way into the room and drags JP off. At least he brings them cake (Tina naturally fears poison, Teen!Dean is on my side when it comes to cake – it will be eaten!)

Sam follows Dean’s disappearance trail while Teen!Dean escapes (helped by Tina’s fake screaming to cover his exit) and returns to a rather stunned Sam. And Dean being taken as Sam’s son. Dean has to adapt to the horror of being a teenager including the unimaginable – liking Taylor Swift. While Dean rants about puberty Sam reveals he found yarrow at the scene so the person who used magic on Dean is probably a witch

Yes, I did word it that way on purpose.

Cover Review 26th January - 30th January

I’m going to be seriously contrary this week - for we have a string of book covers I love; but I am dissatisfied with in some way. Largely because all of them scream “that’s not in the book” to me. Even when I really like them

Unbound (Magic Ex Libris #3) by Jim C Hines

Take this cover. I love it, it’s beautiful (and more than a little sexy). I love the background, the colours, the cover mode. What’s not to love? Well, I just don’t see Isaac here. I see someone who is very cool and badass. Not that Isaac isn’t cool and badass - but he’s also geeky. Where’s the geeky? Needs more nerd!

The Way of All Flesh by Tim Waggoner

And this cover - an excellent depiction of a zombie. It’s gruesome and gross and scary and nasty. Zombie book ahoy, can there be any doubt?

The Originals, Season Two, Episode Twelve: Sanctuary

Rebekah dreams of Freya and sees Freya being taken away by her aunt.  Freya now stands beside Rebekah's bed looking down on her.

The wolves are gathered in the woods and Klaus announces that he is looking for Hayley and reminds them all that there are children present.  Deep in Bayou, Hayley is again saying that she cannot tell her secrets and once again, Jackson is incredulous that there is a secret which is so bad that Hayley cannot tell him.  Hayley points out that its not safe but Jackson counters that it has never been safe and that their people have been hunted and exiled.   Jackson argues that the wedding will change all of that by creating a new pack.  Jackson does however add that if Hayley doesn't tell her secrets, they are back to square one.  Jackson then reveals that even if they call off the wedding, there is something he has to tell her. Jackson, it seems, knows how Hayley's parents died.

Rebekah is up and moving around the house and she takes a seat next to Cassie.  Rebekah hands Cassie an apple, saying that she doesn't care about rules.  Cassie tells Rebekah that she is out of her mind but Rebekah declares that she is not spending another night in this dungeon.  Rebekah it seems has figured out that any spell can work if enough power is channeled. Rebekah reveals that she went to the room with the lock door and that there is a woman in there (yep, that's her big sister Freya) and that she is strong.  Rebekah suggests that they can channel Freya and break out.  Cassie takes the apple and as they walk around, they discover a new watch (yep, that's Freya).  Rebekah is wonders if she knows the witch and gifts her with an apple before taking off.

Davina wakes to find Kol prepared to work on a dagger for Klaus.  Davina pauses and Kol questions if Davina is having second thoughts, reminding her that she wanted to get rid of Klaus without hurting her friends.  Davina checks her phone and realises that Josh and Marcel are still missing.

The vampires are now being channeled by Finn, who tells an unconscious Marcel that he led the vampires to this. Finn wonders about the secrets Klaus has shared with Marcel and questions what he has to do to tear the secrets free.

Klaus has arrived at Mary's home in Bayou and asks to be invited in.  Mary calls Klaus a vampire and says that it's not likely.  Klaus points out that he is a hybrid and could potentially be a distant relative of Mary's.  Klaus then asks about Hayley, adding that he wants to remind her of the importance of family.  Mary reveals that Jackson is with Hayley now and adds that the two of them can look out for themselves. Klaus snarks about what Jackson will gain from marrying Hayley and then leaves to hunt them down himself because of Mary's refusal to help.

Jackson and Hayley walk through an area where wolves bury those who walk away form the pack. They stop at Jackson's grandfather's grave, where Jackson reveals that it was his grandfather who killed Hayley's parents, in order to stop an alliance with Marcel. It seems that Jackson didn't know until Mary told him and he decided that he had to be the one to tell Hayley, though he didn't know if he could. It turns out that this was Jackson's secret and he tells Hayley that she doesn't have to tell him hers, adding that it won't change how he feels about her.  Klaus interrupts and asks for a moment with Hayley.  Hayley tells Jackson that it's fine and promises to meet him back at Mary's.

Back in witch prison, the young woman (read: Freya) has been discovered with the contraband apple.  When Freya is confronted by the matron, though Cassie begs her not to, Rebekah intervenes, only to have her hand broken by a tire iron.  When Freya asks why Rebekah helped, Rebekah responds that maybe, she just likes the idea of the girls sticking together.

In the bayou, Klaus demands that Hayley refrain from divulging any family secrets, especially those which involving Hope.  Hayley however is worried about the continuing threat of Finn and his growing powers, adding that it is not a risk if Jackson can be trusted. Hayley says that they could in fact have a werewolf family to protect Hope but Klaus is not convinced and argues that he can protect Hope.  Hayley believes that they need to consider this because this means that Hope could be brought home.  Klaus makes it clear that he has made his decision and in this case, there is no one above his decree, not even Hayley. Klaus demands that Hayley call off the wedding but Hayley makes it clear that she doesn't take orders from anyone.

Sleepy Hollow, Season Two, Episode Fifteen: Spellcaster

At an auction house, they are unpacking an Elizabethan Collection, when the workers come across the journal of John D, the royal sorcerer supreme.  Who should arrive but Solomon Kent?  He of course takes the journal, though the security guard and auction house employee try to stop him. For their troubles, they end up dead for their troubles.

In the meantime, Abby gets an urgent text to meet Ichabod.  Upon arrival, Abby learns that Ichabod is house hunting.  Ichabod is not at all pleased by the so-called huxterism i.e. fake fruit and other dressing employed to attempt to sell the house.  When they leave, Abby points out that to buy a home, Ichabod will need credit rating, bank approval and yes, an income. Speaking of which, how long is Abby going to continue to support both Crane and that wretched wife of his?  Crane admits that Abby has been generous but adds that he is going to need a place of his own.  Abby hands Crane the file from the robbery of the auction house and Crane takes notice of the missing journal.  When Crane admits he is no expert, Abby says that there is a specialist in this department.

Abby and Crane head to see Katrina, who is working on her magic, saying that she is recovering from 200 years in purgatory. Does this mean Katrina is finally going to do something useful for a change? We keep hearing that she is a powerful witch but haven't seen her actually do anything to prove it thus far. Abby hands over a picture of the grimoire which Katrina calls powerful and dangerous.  Katrina thinks that someone drew it to this place and Ichabod suggests that it might be another tormented soul set loose. Of course, the Cranes take time to talk about their baby the freaking horseman of war.

Speaking of  baby Crane the horseman of freaking war, he is holed up in a motel watching infomercials of all things.  The station then shows the Auction House theft.  It seems that Parish is experiencing some regret for his action.  If they rehabilitate his character to make Katrina right, I swear, I will spit my damn dummy out. 

Back at the archives, Abby and Crane discuss the forensics at the scene.  Crane says that the sorcerer uses blood magic and it is one of the dark arts which taps into evil sources. They then look at the security camera footage from the Auction House and Katrina instantly recognizes Solomon Cant - the warlock all witches fear.  Katrina surmises that Moloch's death must have freed him from purgatory and now he is in their world.

Solomon in the meantime has not wasted any time opening the grimoire and starting a spell.

At the archives, Katrina reveals that Solomon was one of the leaders of the town of Salem - yes, that Salem.  It's flashback time and we see Solomon amongst the Puritans, smiling an interacting with them, in particular Katrina's grandmother.  Apparently, Kent became infatuated with Sarah Oswald and healed her hand after she cut it.  Unfortunately for Solomon, Sarah had an eye for someone else.  Solomon accidentally kills Sarah and rather than face the punishment, Solomon changes Sarah's face to make it appear evil.  Once discovered, Solomon tells the people that he acted in self defense and that there are witches amongst them. Katrina's grandmother begs Solomon to stop but instead he turns on her and labels her a witch in front of the people. Ichabod questions how Kent survived the witch trials unscathed but it seems that eventually the coven hunted him down and put him into purgatory.

At the Auction House, Ichabod questions why Kent drew the grimoire to him.   Katrina does her thing and says that she cannot locate the grimoire but John D bound the grimoire with a spell, blocking anyone from using it unless the book was whole. Once again, Katrina's magic cannot help Crane and Abby.  Katrina believes that whoever handled the book must have the missing pages.  Abby declares that they have to find the person who handled the book before Kent.

Abby is walking down the street and pulls her gun when she senses someone following her.  Irving says that Abby is losing her edge because he has been following her for awhile but adds that he wasn't trying to sneak up on her when Abby does not lower her gun. Frank admits being angry with Abby for not trusting him, after all he has done but Abby points out that his soul was stolen by a horseman of the apocalypse.  Frank reveals that Katrina has declared his soul clean and adds that she doesn't blame Abby for not trusting him.  Frank tells Abby that things are good between them and starts to walk away.

The Originals: The Rise (The Originals #1) by Julie Plec

The Original family, Rebekah, Elijah and Klaus, have arrived in the new colony of New Orleans and plan to make it their home. They’ve been in the city for 9 years but are being kept out of the city thanks to Klaus’s little… problem with the local werewolves.

Elijah has been working on a slow plan for acceptance and hopes that they will have more opportunity now a wedding between the witches and the werewolves may ally the two factions. Except little brother Klaus is now enthralled with the fiancée – this cannot end well.

Rebekah and Klaus pursue their own agendas and all of Elijah’s plans may be headed towards the predictable rocks of his sibling’s machinations.

The funnest thing about this book is how the very essence of the Original family from The Originals is so very clear in this flashback to their early history in the city.

There’s Elijah, moving slowly and diplomatically, obsessing over keeping his family together and trying to slowly build themselves a place of respect and presence in the city through the most civilised of means (all the while frustrated by his siblings, especially Klaus). Up unto a point… and then you cross the line and Elijah is DONE and he reminds us all that he’s an Original vampire and he is not tolerating any more of this

And then there’s Rebekah who tries to be sensible and follow Elijah’s lead – she’s also cunning and, in some ways more crafty than Elijah because she’s far more underhand. But she’s also a romantic and easily derailed by her heart which puts all her plans awry.

Then, of course, there’s Klaus. Unsubtle, uncaring, reckless, impetuous and completely uncaring of consequences. But this book adds an interesting nuance to that by having Klaus basically embrace what it is to be an Original; there’s an awesome line:

“Vivianne would be angry – Elijah would be livid – but eventually everyone would agree that the world had not come to an end because of one dead werewolf. Time would prove Klaus right; it always did.”

When you live forever, there’s a lack of long term consequences. Eventually you outlive the consequences of your action – nothing is a problem if you take a long enough view.

Of course, all of that is derailed by Klaus sharing the same weakness as Rebekah (even though he is immensely contemptuous of Rebekah’s loves) – he’s passionate and obsesses with Vivianne. Much to Elijah’s immense frustration (poor Elijah).

Urban Fantasy Award Nominations

The first nominations are in for the Urban Fantasy Awards! These are the contenders for the GOLDEN FANGS awards - and the the DREAD FANPOODLE condemnation

You still have two weeks, until Friday 13th, to nominate potential candidates! After which, voting will begin

To ensure as many people can pass on their ideas as possible, we’re be listening to suggestions emailed to us (fangsforthefantasy@gmail.com), sent to us through Tumblr, Goodreads, Librarything, Booklikes,Twitter, Facebook, the comments section and carrier pigeon.

Categories for Golden Fangs!

Best New Series of the Year

Penny Dreadful

Best Indie Book

Carmine Rojas: Dog Fight by Che Gilson

The Golem and the Djinni by Helen Wecker
Magnificent Devices by Shelley Adina

Most Original Monster

Mummy: the Curse from Onyx Path Publishing

Most Original concept

13 by Kelley Armstrong

Best Vampire

Penny Dreadful

Elijah from Originals

Best wereanimal

Carmine Rojas: Dog Fight  by Che Gilson

Kitty Norville Series by Carrie Vaughn

Best Fae

October Daye Series by Seanan McGuire

Best Magic-user

Funniest Series

Orphan Black

Fairy Tale Crimes by Jasper Fforde

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch

Most Inclusive Series

Stranger by Sherwood Smith and Rachel Manija Brown

The Three Musketeers

Libriomancer Series by Jim C Hines

The Astounding Antagonists by Rafael Chandler

Voyager (Outlander #3) by Diana Gabaldon

 Trigger warning for sexual abuse, child abuse and rape.

When last we left Claire and Jamie, the battle of Culloden was about to begin and fearing for the safety of Claire and the child Jamie encourages Claire to pass through the stones for a second time. It will be twenty years before the two star crossed lovers see each other again and of course, the path of true love most certainly cannot run smoothly.

I don't even know where to being with this review because having read Dragonfly in Amber, I sincerely thought this series couldn't get in any worse but more fool me. The Outlander series has always necessitated suspending belief, otherwise the very premise - a woman traveling through the stones and ending up 200 years in the past would be a non starter.  There is only so far an author can ask a reader to do this and Gabaldon moves well beyond this point with Voyager.  Too many improbable incidents happen throughout the novel which of course, Jamie and Claire just magically manage to escape from, along with far too many ridiculous interactions with characters from the past. The number of coincidences and repeat meetings are outright ridiculous: 

• Jamie and Claire just happen to run into a minister who is a serial killer of prostitutes 
• Claire gets shipwrecked and just happens to run into a scientist Jamie met in Scotland. 
• Jamie marries the woman who tried to have Claire killed
• Geillies Duncan isn't really dead and shows up long enough to be evil and inspire a slave rebellion
• Lord Grey who is still in love with Jamie, first works as the warden of the prison Jamie is kept in and then just happens to be posted to Jamaica, as governor, at the moment that Claire and Jamie really need official help.
• The hurricane which sinks the man-o-war which is chasing Jamie and Claire's boat and just happens to carry them 600 miles across the ocean to America

  I could have taken the journey had any of these leaps made any kind of logical sense but it all came down to believe this shite because Gabaldon wrote it.

One of the things I learned reading Voyager, is that one of the worst things a woman can do as she ages is get fat.  The requirement of thinness of course makes Claire (oh she of the perfect, ever so white skin) stand out and in case you are in any doubt at all, Jamie makes sure to tell Claire so repeatedly.  A little thing like medicine and the proper nutrition of the twentieth century didn't give Claire the advantage did it? Women pale in Claire's shadow and most certainly, Laoghaire and Geillis Duncan.

First, it's worth mentioning that the fact that Jamie just happened to marry Laoghaire, who tried to have Claire murdered, is ridiculous but I suppose that Gabaldon felt that all ties with Scotland had to be neatly bound.  Did anyone even care about this character to begin with?  It's perfectly understandable that Jamie would try to move on with his life after Claire left and so I fail to understand why he wouldn't just tell her about his marriage, rather than have Claire, find out by having Laoghaire burst into their bedroom.  Did this story really need more angst and drama?  From the beginning, Laoghaire didn't hold a candle to Claire but this had to be reasserted for some reason.  Then we have Geillies, who we were lead to believe had died.  Her reappearance comes down to a lack of imagination.  Did Gabaldon think that readers simply couldn't handle a new character as evil. Of course, the once bonnie Geillies is now hideously fat and unhealthy, with her size increasing in direct proportion to the evil that she does.  Gabaldon is none to subtle with her fat hatred here.

We also know that Geillies is evil because she is a rapist.  For some reason, Gabaldon seems absolutely fascinated with rape and so far, each of the books in the series has either had a rape scene or very much implied it.  In this case, Geillies has young boys kidnapped and then she drugs them and rapes them.  We do have a scene in which Young Ian talks about how his body reacted to the sexual stimulation, though he didn't want to be touched.  It was good to have Jamie empathising with Ian, having been through this situation himself but it still begs the question of why  Gabaldon felt the need to include the rape in the first place?  It's as though a story for her isn't complete unless it includes some gratuitous rape.