Fangs for the Fantasy Book of the Week

Every week on the Fangs for the Fantasy podcast (archives here) we read a book and discuss it on the show. The review for the book of the week always goes up on a Monday.

To give people a chance to read along with us, every Monday we’re also going to include a list of our planned books of the week for the next few shows, so people can get the books, read them and join in the conversation.

   

14th October - 21st October: Red Hood’s Revenge by Jim C Hines

21st October - 28th October: Mortal Danger by Eileen Wilks

28th October - 4th November: Bloodfever by Karen Marie Moning

4th November - 11th November: The Snow Queen’s Shadow by Jim C Hines

11th November - 18th November: Curtsies & Conspiracies by Gail Carriger

18th November - 25th November: Long Live the Queen by Kate Locke

Atlantis, Season 1, Episode 4: Twist of Fate

The comic threesome are off hunting – well, in theory they’re off hunting. What Pythagoras hopes to hunt with a knife is beyond me, a very slow deer, perhaps? Jason has the bow but who knows where he learned how to shoot it.

The only thing they find is a baby. A human baby – which Hercules and Pythagoras assumes has been left outside, exposed, to die for various reasons (sickly, illegitimate, etc). Neither of them are eager to help since they consider it messing with fate and angering the gods (really, by this point if everything anyone said angered the gods truly angered them, Jason would be the top of a very very long shit list. But then, given these are the Greek gods, that’s not entirely impossible). Jason, of course wants to help and Hercules is charmed by the baby’s doughy cutness.

After the obligatory fumbling trying to look after a baby, Jason hits the market looking for baby food, running into Medusa and giving us a chance to see the new guests this week – King Laius is visiting King Minos. He disrupts everything because everyone has to kneel to him as he wends his way to the palace to be welcomed back with some not-so-subtle flirting from Queen Pasiphae towards King Laius (in case we forgot due to a chronic case of not caring. Queen Pasiphae is married to King Minos) – which does not go unnoticed by Ariadne. Laius’s own queen, Jocasta, looks away silently.

Medusa accompanies Jason back having guided what he should buy and Medusa instantly takes after looking after the baby. Since Hercules has a crush on Medusa, he naturally takes credit for saving the baby despite his reluctance. To be alone with her, he sends Pythagoras and Jason to where they found the baby to look for clues of his origin. She leaves when she puts the baby down to sleep, though Hercules tries to convince her to stay for food/drink/near begging.

She comes back for a shawl she forgot and overhears an unaware Hercules crooning to the baby about how beautiful Medusa is and how he wishes he could tell her how he feels – but knows he can’t because he’s “old and fat and she wouldn’t give me a second glance.”

Pythagoras and Jason find some pottery shards where they found the baby (watched by a suspicious old man) and bring them back to find Hercules asleep with the baby. They wake him and take the child (with Jason being sympathetic about Hercules and Medusa and Pythagoras throwing in another fat joke). Pythagoras pieces together the pottery – it’s a rattle in the shape of a pig and clearly from a wealthy family. Who could that be?

To the palace! King Minos is making an offering to Artemis (should have done that before the hunt, you may have caught something). They sit down to dinner with Queen nameless making it clear she’s not her hubby, Laius’s biggest fan and Pasiphae plans to go hunting with them the next day - after all, wasn’t Artemis a woman? Ariadne has the perfect put down “but her prey had four legs.” Nasty, Ariadne can dish it out it seems.

Revolution Season Two, Episode Four: Patriot Games

This episode begins in Pottsboro, North Texas, with Charlie eating in a dive surrounded by men.  When she tries to leave, she finds the door padlocked and so informs the men that they should let her go. One of them attacks and Charlie fights back but is clearly feeling dizzy.  Charlie realises that her drink was drugged, just as Monroe bursts through the door with his sword.  Charlie struggles to maintain consciousness, as Monroe fights with the men.

In Willoughby, Rachel has regained consciousness after the battle at the end of last episode.  Rachel calls out for Miles and when she gets no answer, heads outside to see kids dressed in costume.  Rachel walks through the town and sees Patriots everywhere and a U.S. flag boldly flying.  Rachel waves to Ken and is then approached from behind by Miles.  They embrace and Rachel learns that she has been out for a few days.  Rachel asks why everyone is back in Willoughby and where Titus is. Ed Truman of the U.S. government walks over and Miles introduces him to Rachel. Truman says that they are just trying to restore order and are happy that they got there when they did. Miles says that Rachel needs to rest and Rachel and Miles leave.

Neville is walking when he sees a fight.  He quickly breaks it up and arrests one of them.  When he is chastised for not being at the dock, Neville learns that no matter what Allenford said, Lt. Vincent Cooke is not a fan of his. Cooke tells Neville that when he screws up, he will be there to put a bullet behind his ear. Yep, Cooke is dead man walking.

Miles, Rachel and Aaron are gathered and Miles informs Rachel that the Patriots are claiming that Monroe and Foster launched the nukes. When Rachel learns that they are calling themselves Patriots, Rachel points out that, that was Randall's exit line. Rachel says that this is what they were waiting for and adds that she knew something was bigger coming.  Miles says that they should all calm down because they would be dead already, if the Patriots wanted them dead. The Patriots are telling everyone that Titus's guys are still out there, so the town is on lockdown.  Rachel guesses that something else is going down outside the walls. Miles plans to go and check out Titus's camp and when Rachel suggests coming with him, Miles says that Rachel is to lay low and stay off the radar of the Patriots.

That night, Rachel walks through town but keeps thinking about Randall  The Patriot men are everywhere as Ed looks on, Ken approaches Rachel and says that they are trying to give the kids a little normal after last week.  Rachel very quickly excuses herself and breaks into an office.  She pulls out a file with the familiar triangle symbol and is caught by Ed.  Rachel is escorted out of the office and her father apologises for her.  Ed heads back to his office undecided as to whether or not Rachel is going to be a problem. Outside the walls, a man is caught.  A Patriot takes a sword and kills him.

Rachel argues with Gene about how dangerous the Patriots are but he is not pacified and tells Rachel that she needs to rest. Rachel suggests that the Patriots were working with Randall and swears that she is not crazy.  Gene wonders why this has to be her fight and Rachel says that she has got to do something and if it isn't her then who?  Gene tells Rachel that she scares him and brings up her suicide attempt when she first arrived.  Gene tells Rachel that she puts blinders on and then charges ahead.  Gene adds that Rachel cannot fix everything and that a lot of people died and now she wants to suit up and fix something else.  Gene wonders what happens if Rachel doesn't come back from this one.  The argument is interrupted by a Patriot man delivering the body of the man they killed. The Patriot soldier of course blames Titus's group and suggests that everyone should stay behind the wall.

Charlie regains her consciousness and finds herself at a campsite with Monroe. Monroe tosses her some water to drink and suggests that Charlie needs to flush the drugs out of her system.  Charlie asks how he found her and Monroe tells her that she is not as hard to track as she thinks. Charlie learns that she was out for a full day and Monroe swears that he was a full gentleman.  Charlie then asks why he is doing this and Monroe says that he needs Charlie to take him to Miles and Rachel though he can never make for what he has done.  Charlie asks if he makes his eyes water at will and says that the poor wounded Monroe thing is pathetic.  Charlie calls Monroe a sociopath and adds that behind his mask he is a cold killer.  Charlie tries to grab a knife and Monroe admits that he is good at killing and adds that for the time being, they are all on the same team. Monroe adds that the U.S. guys are going to be a problem.  Charlie asks what happens if she tells him to go to hell and Monroe asks her what makes her think that she has a choice.

Neville notices some scaring on Lt. Vincent Cooke body.

Aaron looks out the window at the kids but feels dizzy and pauses out.  In his dream state, Aaron sees Miles walk through a red door.  Cynthia wakes Aaron and he assures her that he is okay.  When Miles hears a sound, he pauses and looks around.  When Miles enters the red door, Titus pulls a gun on him, so Miles drops his sword.  Miles asks Titus if they can talk but Titus blames Miles for the death of his wife. Titus says that he was betrayed by the Patriots, who packed him and his children onto trains.  It seems that Titus escaped but everyone else is still there. Titus says that he was a loving father but the Patriots are inhuman.  Titus adds that he lost everything including the only person he ever loved because of Miles.  When Titus pulls the trigger, the gun does not fire and so he and Miles fight over it, with Miles quickly managing to stab Titus.

Rachel is having a drink in a bar when she is joined by Ken.  Ken asks her what is going on with her and Rachel quickly says that she doesn't want him involved. Ken tells her not to forget who is she talking to and reminds Rachel about how she was there for him when his father died. Ken asks to help.

Once Upon a Time, Season 1, Episode 2: Trust Me

We start with a flashback, many years ago in Agrabah with Jaffar confronting a scarf-seller, Farseem Shamid in the marketplace. A man who, he points out, earns a very modest income but has wonderful trappings of wealth far beyond his means. Why, he has everything any man “could wish for”.  Shamid excuses himself to check his boiling kettle and quickly grabs the genie’s lamp (the source of his prosperity) in desperation and against Cyrus’s wishes, he uses his third wish to wish the genie gone – as far from Agrabah as the Earth from the Sun.

Jaffar is not happy. But he’s cool and stunningly menacing in his anger. And that is how Cyrus ended up in Wonderland.

To Wonderland present and Alice practicing her sword skills while the Knave of Hearts is witty and snarky. And snarky about Wonderland as well (Alice has a change of outfit thanks to the Clotheshorse. He wants a coffee horse). Alice has a plan. She knows where Cyrus’s bottle is so if she grabs the bottle and makes 3 minor wishes (big wishes tend to go Awry) then Cyrus will be drawn back to the bottle the minute Knave picks it up. Which does involve trusting Knave to free Cyrus.

The bottle is buried in the Mimsy Meadow under the town Tumtum tree (snark follows from Knave at those names). They decide to leave the Rabbit behind because he’s tired (or, as Knave puts it, Alice thinks he’s slowing them down) but he’s only pretending to sleep – he’s spying on them and listening to every word as a spy for the Red Queen.

At the Red Queen’s castle there’s a huge noisy crowd of desperate peasants with problems demanding her attention – and she announces that their problems bore her. Jafar also finds them annoying, as he freezes the whole room but the Queen. He thinks she’s weak trying to earn her people’s respect by listening to their problems and they both talk about how they’re not satisfied with what they have. The plan is, apparently, for Jaffar to use the genie’s bottle to change the laws of magic. He again demands she find the bottle and kills the waiting peasants “clearing her day” and backing it up with a not very subtle threat.

Later, the White Rabbit joins her, interrupting her beauty regime, with news of where the bottle is. He’s a very reluctant spy.

Alice and Knave continue through the forest and Knave broaches the possibility that maybe Cyrus has changed – after all, all these years with him alive and he hasn’t tried to get in touch with Alice at all. Alice is very touchy at the suggestion and says the Knave can’t possibly understand what they have (right that’s definite foreshadowing of a tragic love interest on his part). And they come to a lake to cross – and the Knave can’t swim, because he’s afraid of water. She refuses to walk round the Lake and insists they take the ferry (she has a very insistent face). Poor Knave. Awww he looks so woebegone, I wanna hug him.

They clap and summon a fairy, the fairy Silvermist. Who Knave greets as “Silv” and she promptly slaps him. Awww, now you make me wanna hug him more! She also reminds the Knave of his many enemies but she will take them across the lake because she’s a professional and she will do her job. And she’s not going to let feelings – old feelings she’s totally moved on from (ouch) – get in the way of that

Meanwhile, Cyrus is still in his cage with another prisoner in a neighbouring cage. Cyrus’s cage is made of silver because it burns genies (he has a burn on his arm from it) and stops him even thinking of escape. With sudden energy he starts to write a letter and we have a flashback

To Cyrus declaring Alice his mistress and giving her 3 wishes and the rules of them: he can’t kill anyone, can’t change the past, can’t raise the dead and can’t make anyone fall in love. She considers his freedom but he says it never goes well – every wish has a cost, the bigger the wish, the bigger the consequence.

They walk along together, time passes and they sit and talk in a café. Cyrus is always on edge – worrying about Jafar or someone else claiming the genie. They talk about their homes being prisons and Cyrus’s many travels.

Back to Alice and half way across the lake, Silvermist drops Knave into it. Alice diving after him to save him from drowning. They come to shore on a very small, shell-looking island with Alice blaming Knave because he clearly deserved it. She blames him for breaking Silvermist’s heart but he snarks at how she shouldn’t have given it away and shows some very cynical opinions about love which, again, he turns on Alice’s love of Cyrus, saying she has no way of knowing if he really felt the same way.

Back in the Red Queen’s palace, the Queen again tries to make Jafar prove he can do what he claims. He freezes her with his magic, threatens her and terrifies her and makes it clear that they are not equal partners and he expects her to obey.

On the lake the curiously shell-like island turns out to be a shell of a turtle (surprised? I certainly wasn’t.) Which Alice promptly threatens into taking her to the shore while we have a flashback of Cyrus teaching Alice how to use a sword where it’s also emphasised how very intelligent Alice is and how her primary weapon isn’t her swordplay – but her smarts and creativity. She also disarms Cyrus with a kiss

In the present they get to the otherside where Silvermist laughs at the bounty on Knave’s head – he’s in deep to the Caterpillar – and talks about someone called Anastasia who used up the Knave’s heart. This clearly touches a nerve and he admits he doesn't’feel terrible for how he treated Silvermist because he doesn’t feel much of anything any more and adds that Silvermist was wrong to hurt Alice for his wrongdoing. Alice and Knave set off again and we have another flashback

Cyrus and Alice clearly in love and Cyrus asking Alice to make her wishes – because he’s falling in love and then it will hurt him even more to be separated from her. Alice says she doesn’t want to make any wishes – Cyrus is everything she wishes for. She promises never to move on from him if he never moves on from her and they decide to bury the lamp.

 Jafar on his carpet arrives at the tree, conjuring and army of bugs to find the bottle. Alice and Knave spy on him from a careful distance. She now knows what she’s up against – Jafar, because the bottle was never under the tree in the first place. That’s why she’s been so chatty about where she was heading because she knew she would be spied on by someone. Knave has a brief sadness that she didn’t trust him – but she says she does now.

They go to where the bottle is really buried –and find a hole. Someone has dug it up already. She thinks that maybe Knave is right, maybe Cyrus moved on. But Cyrus, in his prison, forces his arm painfully out of the bars holding the letter he wrote Alice – he releases an origami swan that flies away to find her.

A frustrated Jafar storms into the prison to demand Cyrus tell him where the bottle is. Cyrus refuses – and the Red Queen appears to say she has it. And she’s taken Jafar’s advice – earning respect doesn’t work. Taking respect does. She isn’t giving him the bottle – because Jafar has always held all the cards. Now Jafar has the genie and she has the bottle – and he can stop talking down to her as well.

Back in her own palace, she breaks her own promises to the White Rabbit and continues to threaten him. He knew where the bottle was really hidden because he saw Alice and Cyrus bury it in the first place.

Byt the fire that night, Alice succumbs to despair and brooding and the Knave apologises for even giving her the idea that Cyrus has moved on – and that he knows nothing. She asks about Anastasia and he calls it a tale of heartbreak but won’t say any more. Alice brings up her father – he loved her and he moved on as well.

Which is when Cyrus’s origami swan arrives. A love letter declaring his love for her and begging her to leave Wonderland because he can’t be saved and he’d hate for her to die for him. She sends the letter back with “I’m coming for you” written on it.

Another episode and much of what I said in episode 1 applies. I really like the characters (especially the Knave – poor Knave) and I think Alice and Cyrus have some excellent chemistry. The setting isn’t quite as trippy as I’d expect – it is Wonderland, go all out! But it’s still pretty shiny. I like the plot, I’m invested and I really love the characters (yes, especially the Knave. I may have said that before, I will be saying it again).

And I still have concerns about the white female protagonist (who is kick arse and awesome) facing off against an insidiously evil collection of Middle Eastern stereotypes – especially when the insidiously evil collection of Middle Eastern stereotypes is also creepy, abusive and, well, insidiously evil to his co-conspirator, the white, female Red Queen.

Vampire Diaries, Season 5, Episode 3: Original Sin

Stefan is out and walking – but looking more zombie than vampire (except his hair, that’s a whole new kind of a horror monster).  He stumbles into a bar, deserted because of the hour and finds a barmaid – LUNCH TIME! Stefan, having rather more self control than he had in the past, bites and feeds from her but doesn’t kill her – telling her to run. He staggers outside into the rising sun and starts to burn…

And Elena wakes up. Awww, can we not with the dream sequences? The show is dramatic enough! Elena tells Damon about her dream and how she was almost with Stefan this time. Damon points out that while he’s not going to play jealous boyfriend about her having dreams of her ex, that doesn’t mean he wants to hear all the details. He asks for them anyway since it can’t be worse than his imagination

She tells him the dream – and Katherine walks in and confirms the address; she had the same dream.

Elena tries to get a good head of angst going, fiddling with Stefan’s daylight ring but Katherine arrives and they both snap and snarl at each other with poor Damon trying to keep the peace (and, yes, Katherine is coming with them because a) Silas wants her and b) Katherine cares about Stefan – and claims Elena does too).

Speaking of Silas – he still wants Katherine and so does Nadia – the Traveller who joined him last episode and killed her friend, but Silas doesn’t trust her. To prove herself he wants her to kill Matt and take his ring; just in case killing Gregor was a ruse and he’s still alive since he was possessing Matt with the immortality ring.

Nadia goes to Matt who is not particularly thrilled to see her but she assures him that she’s there to protect him from Silas. She calls on Gregor to come forth – and Matt’s eyes turn briefly black before he yells at Nadia in her Slavic language, for killing him. Yes that’s Gregor and yes she killed him to earn Silas’s trust – which is why they had him possess Matt with his nifty Gilbert invincibility ring. She promises him that she does love him and will find a way for him to keep Matt’s body – in the meantime he needs to call Elena and find Katherine.

Stefan wakes up and finds he’s not toasty from the Sun. A woman saved him – a woman who knows he’s a vampire doppleganger (with a conscience no less) and she rescued him from the quarry. Stefan is determined to hunt Silas – calling him a monster, but the woman tells him a story

In Ancient Greece, 2,000 years ago Silas and a woman – her fell in love. She was there. She and Silas were both very powerful Travellers (vaguely defined as “gifted people”) and they loved each other so much they decided to cheat death and be together forever. Stefan thinks he knows this story – the witch Qetsiyah cursed Silas and ruined his immortality plans. She adds some detail: Silas convinced Qetsiyah that he loved her but was really manipulating her to become an immortal. In revenge, Qetsiyah entombed him forever with the humanity cure (which Katherine took, hence her being human) so he could either rot forever or take the cure, die and join her on the Other Side. And the Other Side is a specially created limbo (created by her) for supernatural beings just so Qetsiyah could be sure Silas would be with her for eternity.

Stefan finds Qetsiyah’s actions not exactly the most stable out there.

Assassin's Touch (Iron Portal #1) by Laurie London

Neyla never wanted to be a soldier – but when a terrorist attack brought out her latent psychic powers, she was quickly drummed into the army where they could be best used. It’s a miserable life and her fellow soldiers are no happier with her presence than she is with being there.

They’re called to track down an assassin from the Barrowlands and the portal through which he entered - a vital mission as news reports more devastating terrorist attacks slaughter the innocent.

Rickert has come through the portal from his home in the Barrowlands. The world is very different and he’s far from at home there, but he has to stop the Pacificans finding the portal – and launching another of their devastating raids against his homeland.

When the two meet, it becomes far more complex than they imagined.

This world has a fascinating concept – it’s a clearly parallel Earth but with stark differences from our own and only hints with some similar names to suggest the links. The world was split in two in some unnamed but often hinted on event in the past, leaving only portals as a way to get between the two realms – portals which have their own sets of rules.

One side of the world is a lot like ours, with advanced technology. The other hasn’t reached the industrial revolution, but has some intriguing powers of its own that make it very different. And the two worlds are in conflict – but both sides have very different versions of WHY they’re fighting, each presenting the other as the aggressor.

The main character, Neyla, has her own conflicts. Her life has been torn apart by enemy action which has brought her latent psychic power to the fore – she’s a protector, being able to shield people. This ends up with her being practically drafted into the army. She’s a reluctant soldier (she misses the clothes shop she owned) and the soldiers don’t like her much either – but she does have a life saving power and her father is proud of her. It’s complex with duty and misery working together.

Then there’s Rickert from the other side of the conflict and his own bad memories of atrocities inflicted on his people. Bring them together and there’s going to be some conflict there. As well as culture shock.

So we have a great story concept, a great world that has parallels to our own but also a great divide, a character who is at least not too annoying with some nice woo-woo that certainly could be developed. So do I have a but?

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 2: In Too Deep

We open with one of those really annoying scenes where something happens (a dual between Steven and another Tomorrow Person on a rooftop) and then we switch to 3 days ago. I really really hate this tool, it’s annoying and unnecessary.

Anyway, 3 days ago, Steven’s mother is still a very busy single mother and she thinks he’s still taking his pills. We’re reminded of his powers and, realising they created a god last episode, the writers now quickly add that his powers aren’t 100% reliable as he teleports to school to remind us that Astrid is his friend.

The voiceover tells us about Ultra and his rather dubious plan to work for them. In Ultra we get the episodes second reminder of the Tomorrow People’s powers – Teleportation, Telekinesis and Telepathy – the latter of which makes it tricky for Steven to be a mole in the organisation. More reminders of uncle Jedikiah’s wish to control all Tomorrow People and his huge spy network tracking for them; and then a flash to a rogue “paranormal” (which is a damn site shorter than Tomorrow Person or Homo Superior).

The guy who, in 3 days time, will dual with Steven is using his abilities to rob a bank – manipulating a guard to be his robber using telekinesis.

Steven teleports to the Underground Lair since Cora won’t answer his telepathy; but John doesn’t exactly welcome him with open arms since he’s now working for Jedikiah (and love triangle jealousy, of course). Lots of argument back and forth but Steven, despite his very limited experience, is sure he knows what’s best and John is equally sure that Steven is putting them all at risk. (I do think John is unfair holding up Cora having left a sister behind – Steven isn’t leaving family behind, Jedikiah is openly threatening them).

Right that’s everything recapped – now on to the episode and Steven coming home late to a very angry mother and a very cross Astrid. For added problem, his mother found his meds in the dustbin. She pulls out some epic level guilt to get him to talk to his doctor and Steven taps into her memories - the issues she had with Steven’s father; and him walking out (while she begs him that they can find another doctor) saying he doesn’t love her.

Back at the secret base, the super computer, Tim, does a facial recognition search on the bank robber and comes up with Kurt Rundle – unfortunately with him being mid-breakout Cara can’t get to him telepathically. Cara and John have a moment with John all kinds of stressed and Cara eaves dropping – and Tim ruining the moment in the first amusing scene the show has produced. When John steps out, Cara goes through his things to find the “d-chip”. Tim notes how not happy John will be but Cara says someone else needs it more.

American Horror Story, Season 3, Episode 2: Boy Parts

A couple of men are boating through the swamps hunting alligators – and getting quite a large haul. Apparently this is illegal so they’re a bit nervous when they return to their camp of dead gators and find a strange woman there – it’s Misty, she-who-was-burned-to-death-but-apparently-got-better. She doesn’t like alligator hunting and brings the poor innocent creatures back to life. And they promptly eat the hunters.

Nomnomnom credits.

At the Academy it’s morning – and Zoe is looking up lots and lots of articles about poor poor Kyle was almost a saint and totally didn’t deserve to die and Madison, who probably doesn’t need a guilt trip about not being careful enough in her post-rape revenge – has little sympathy for the man whose frat brothers raped her.

Fiona has Madam LaLaurie tied up in her room because she wants to know why the centuries old woman who was buried alive isn’t actually dead, somewhat hindered by her screaming in panic at being kidnapped, at the phone ringing and likely various other 21^st century things

Time for a flashback to Queenie’s past with her selling fried chicken and getting into a dispute about the number of pieces of chicken she gave a customer. He insults her weight and she uses her voodoo doll power and plunges her arm in a vat of hot oil. This caused quite a stir as the man was horrendously burned but the police couldn’t prove anything – it did bring her to the attention of the Academy though.

Queenie didn’t want to join the Academy because she’s only ever seen media depictions of White witches and never applied the idea to her. She’s descended from Tituba (yes, witches = Salem, it is known). Madison opens her mouth and Queenie gets angry – Cordelia tries to tell them to stick together in fear of their many enemies… and some police arrive.

Well, on the plus side, Cordelia, it underscores the “many enemies” point. The police question Zoe and Madison on the bus flip and the death in the hospital (since it’s very similar to another death in Zoe’s past). Zoe cracks and starts babbling about witches (really?)

Fiona arrives and sends the girls out – (“are you in charge here?” “I’m in charge everywhere.” She does have some awesome lines). She enchants some water, forces them to drink it and messes with their minds, problem solved.

Madison is busy berating Zoe about being a complete fool when Fiona arrives to slam them into walls. It seems to be her problem solving method of choice. Zoe protests that the police just knew so much and Fiona has the second awesome line of the night “I couldn’t toast a piece of bread with the heat they were putting on you.”  She goes on about the inherent superiority of witches, of standing together and that the only thing they really need to fear is Fiona.