Thursday, June 21, 2012

Cover Snark: Heroines on their Knees

We’ve seen before that an awful lot of covers where, for reasons unknown, the female protagonists have felt the need to get as low to the ground as possible.

I think I’ll never know why an action heroine is not going to leap into battle, not going to run into battle, is not even going to charge into battle - no she squats into battle.

But if something bemuses me more than the Squat - it’s the kneel.

These pictures even emphasise how off balance they are by them having to prop themselves on one hand as well. At least in Blood Winter she is warmly dressed and in Shadows of Silence she appears to be hiding behind something.

But these? Random kneeling - they’re not hiding, they’re not trying to pick something up, they’re just kneeling. Did their legs give out? Or are the genuflecting in supplication to the random reader?

And these? I challenge them to even get up easily. in Gods and Monsters there is NO way she is getting up out of that position without dropping the gun, falling over or getting a hand up.  Savannah from Waking the Witch is even clutching her aching back (probably because she’s coupled the kneel with a forward lean) and why is her hand just stretched down like that? It’s not even touching anything - it’s just there to get it out the way and hide the fact she has no practical reason to lean.

Is there a secret rule that says a heroine can’t stand up? Is it because their spines are aching from all the arching? Does the weight of their aggressively presented boobies mean they have to stop for a rest?