Saturday, September 21, 2013

Almighty Johnsons, Season 3, Episode 12: Late to the Point of Knowledge

Family meeting time for the brothers (and Olaf) over Minigolf (Anders arriving late because Michele tied him to the bed). They’re not with Hannah (Frigg), because she turfed them out to deal with her brother who doesn’t handle things not going to plan well – she sends them both packing despite Axl’s protests. Stacey puts herself forwards, as Fulla, Frigg’s handmaiden, to be the go-between for everyone. Which leaves Olaf unhappy because he’s been holding down Stacey’s business in her absence. The Thing breaks up with Axl leaving. (We also get a reminder that Hannah looks exactly like Axl did – when he turned into a woman).

Axl goes home to Zeb to begin his epicly long rant with lots of pouting and tantrums. He goes to the Bridal shop, but it is closed for “family reasons”.  And Stacey is still missing from her work place where Olaf is melting down.

Stacey is with Hannah (yes she does have to be there 24/7, damn Handmaiden power) and Mike, using his god of stalking power, tracks them down. And his plot is to try and get to Hannah through her brother, saying he knows someone for Martin to talk to who might understand him (Ingrid may be the best choice).

Axl goes to Ty to rant at him for siding with Mike and he and Dawn strike back that when whoever ascends to become Odin, Ty becomes Hodr, full blown god of darkness and Ty and Dawn don’t want anyone to ascend until they’ve figured out what that means. So… why help Mike? That’s an argument for not helping anyone – or hindering both of them – not for helping Mike. But he does give Axl her address

She isn’t there, she and Stacey are taking Martin to Mike’s set up meeting with Ingrid. Neither Martin nor Stacey are happy about the matter. Hannah pushes Martin to leave with Ingrid then orders Stacey to leave her and Mike alone.

Mike and Hannah go to dinner, each comparing notes on whose life and family is the most dysfunctional. And after lunch, she kisses him. They go back to his flat and have sex.

Axl visits Anders and asks him about him and Gaia – specifically why Idun and Bragi found each other impossibly irresistible but Odin and Frigg don’t the same (it’s called bad writing and desperate retconning).  Anders reassures him and Axl, despite their past differences, thanks Anders for being the one brother he is sure is on his side.

Michele goes to Stacey to go to meet Hannah – and after much questioning while Stacey tries to dodge the issue she learns that Hannah was at Mike’s bar – and that now her phone is turned off. She goes to Mike’s and finds Mike and Hannah in bed together; she watches them sleep before turning and leaving. When Hannah wakes up she leaves… oddly abruptly and almost nervously. Certainly hurriedly – she doesn’t even bother putting on shoes.

To Ty and Dawn working on their issue – Ty takes Dawn to meet the family oracle – which is very disappointing because that’s Olaf. Which she berates Olaf about and Olaf, in turn has a rant about trying to keep an Oral tradition alive when, frankly, it means you’re the last person in a long line of a generational game of Chinese Whispers and are meant to have answers.

Martin and Ingrid go to the beach where Ingrid tries to catch seagulls and generally revels in her classic joie de vivre.  And Martin talks about the various things he manipulated – not wanting to but having to – like getting Anders and Gaia together. Manipulating Axl on his trip with his father, getting Mike to bring him home – warning him about Jormugandr even getting Axl his job delivering pizza.  He was the one who provided the woodchipper that Mike threw Yggdrasil into and do everything he could to try and get Axl to Hannah before Mike.

Should have dropped Mike into a volcano. That would have worked.

Ingrid asks him why he destroyed Yggdrasil and he said he had to – there can’t be any evidence of them after the Gar. Without the Gar they all die. Ingrid joins me in asking what the Gar is – apparently the Gar is why Martin has done everything he has.

Mike consults Oracle Olaf and tells him about sleeping with Hanna – Olaf speculates on why the goddess of marriage would sleep with him so readily, though adding that Frigg in the eddas is a “slut” which Mike objects to and makes him apologise for. Mike thinks this means Hanna chose him and maybe they were wrong about Odin and Frigg getting together restoring their powers – Olaf points the other possibility, that Mike just isn’t Odin. And he adds that Frigg is a love goddess they are, by definition, easy to love.

Mike decides to test that by going to see Stacey and checking if she feels any love for Hanna. After her repeatedly pointing out that she’s straight, Stacey says she only feels duty (really, Stacey is the worst person to ask given her handmaiden role.) After discovering Mike’s feelings, Mike asks her if what he feels is real or power whammy (like Anders can do) but Stacey says she has no idea what Hanna’s power is. He runs into Ty in the shop and Ty isn’t particularly impressed by him sleeping with Hanna but points out the obvious – Hanna and Mike had sex and the rest of them did not become super powered. Mike again clings to the “it’s all very vague!” excuse – and adds a dollop of jealousy, he doesn’t want Axl going out with her.

Hanna returns home to find Axl on her doorstep with a handful of poseys and a whole lot of gawky awkwardness. He asks her if she feels what he does – and she doesn’t answer but says they need to do something fun because everything is getting far too serious for her. They leave – watched by a seething Michele. Axl and Hanna go to an arcade and have some glorious, mindless fun.

Over air hockey we learn that Hanna didn’t search out Odin because of Martin’s endless rules – rule #1 being that Odin must come to her. And Axl tells her about him turning into her – which he saw as a sign (pushy pushy). But he gets a phone call from Olaf – he’s calling another Thing (since Ingrid and Martin told him about the Gar)

They arrive for the Thing and Axl reveals he played computer games with Frigg – and Olaf reveals Mike slept with Frigg. Before family drama hits, Ingrid speaks up, demanding everyone shut up and listen. The Gar is the ceremony where Odin and Frigg are reunited (Mike accuses them of fucking up, Olaf protests that they have merely arrived “late to the point of knowledge”) and it doesn’t involve sex. It’s a ceremony where Odin and Frigg meet, where Frigg chooses Odin for all time

At the Gar all 9 realms need to be represented (Ingrid and Olaf decide who represents which realm): Odin and Frigg are Asgard, Ingrid can represent Vanaheim, Ty can represent Midgard since he was human, Anders gets Nidavelir, the realm of the Dwarfs (yes, because he’s short).  Olaf will represent Jotunheim, land of the giants (he’s tall), Stacey Alfheim (elves) and Michele gets Niflheimr (which Ty calls the realm of the dead). Why Michele – because they’d suddenly decided it’s appropriate for her. And Svartalfheim will be represented by either Axl or Mike, depending on who isn’t Odin – which Axl isn’t best pleased with.

That leaves someone to represent Muspellheim. Realm of fire. Colin. Who wants them to talk about after the Gar – because it seems Ingrid and Olaf got this terribly, horribly wrong.

While they talk, Hanna arrives home to find Michele ominously waiting for her. They talk and Michele grabs a knife from the kitchen. Michele talks about how several of the goddesses had united to stop the old ways because goddesses, especially minor goddesses, were so badly used by the gods. The best way to stop that happening is to stop Frigg and Odin reuniting. She talks how they planned to remove Odin, but killing him would kill all his blood relatives (including Mike) and cause natural disasters (that sound is the cannon squeaking again).  

Michele tells Hanna that Mike was her lover – and that she knows he slept with her. She draws a knife – and back in the Thing Martin hears her and quietly grabs a hammer. While Colin arrives he leaves. Hanna tries to tell Michele that she is actually on her side – when Martin comes up behind Michele and hits her in the head with a hammer. Michele falls to the floor, eyes blank, bleeding from the back of her head. She looks very dead.

This whole 2 Odins is messing badly with the cannon. What about all the signs that heralded Odin? And if Axl isn’t Odin, why does he have any god powers at all? Will he lose his powers? Will he become a different god? Will he keep his powers and remain Odin – even come into his full power as Odin – while Ullr god of games (well, skiing and archery) just takes charge?

The idea that choosing between Axl and Mike is a matter of Hannah’s agency is kind of ludicrous when we already have Gaia and Anders as a previous example. Their agency never mattered when they found their god’s partners. And where’s the agency in “must choose between 2” rather than “choose whichever man you actually want”? It’s a fake get-out and attempt to make the whole chosen mate thing look less skeevy while continuing to shred their cannon.

Why do i think that "after the Gar" it's going to be revealed they DON'T get their powers?

I waited so long for Dawn to be let in on the big secret and then she spends 3 episodes freaking out? Either about something bad happening to her or Ty ascending and heckling people because they don’t know things. It’s something of a disappointment.

Aaargh, Michele going all jealous and violent against Hanna? Mike, yes, Mike is deserving of her rage – but why blame Hanna? And Michele appropriate for the realm of the dead? She’s been savage in her revenge of Mike – but lethal? Deadly? That’s harsh, unfair and a gross leap of her character.