Sunday, February 9, 2014

Beauty and the Beast: Season 2, Episode 12: Recipe for Disaster

Cat and Tess are actually doing something that doesn’t involve Vincent! (Previously this may have included work but they don’t do that any more it seems). They’re having some kind of cooking class with celebrity chef and Tess is complaining because all the single guys are hitting on Cat, including the chef and then there’s something about aphrodisiacs

Yes, it’s still about men. Of course it’s about men. Tess does not have another topic of conversation. She also warns Cat that Gabe has technically finished at the police station and now it will return to normal command – meaning he’s leaving. Apparently this is cause for relationship drama

Speaking of, Vincent calls Cat and the exposition everything. Seriously, it’s an epic info dump of shit-we-both-know-but-we’re-reminding-the-audience before getting to his supposed reason for the call – finding the gem. He’s decided that since Agent Dana (who is now all suspicious) has notes about the many previous times the gem has been at crime scenes, it’s best to go to where it was previously found in the vague hope that the current gem holds have decided to take it back there. Yes, it’s reaching that badly that they’re going to look in an apparent dungeon where the gem was found in 1840. Anyway the place is hidden very very very well.

Call over, Tori is very jealous of Vincent for spending so much time talking to Cat. And outside Dana is listening with a mic

The whole cooking party thing is for a huge party for JT who just won a very very impressive research grant that has the whole university loving him. Cat takes the opportunity to confront Gabe about leaving – he’s just advancing his career and repeats how he still wants to be with Cat. And Vincent and Tori arrive to talk shop, well, Beasts. They break it up when JT arrives so they can all celebrate and Tori leaves in a huff and Vincent has to follow her.

Tori’s upset because she feels like an outsider – which is reasonable considering the group has been together so long and she is a new addition. She thinks she’s losing Vincent and is all jealous. And she has reason – because Vincent doesn’t know how to feel around her, especially since their Beatiness amplifies thoughts and feelings around each other (which is a nice, clumsy way of introducing the idea that maybe their feelings aren’t authentic). He wants to take a break…

Though back at the party Cat tells him to talk to Tori since he has a habit of shutting people out and trying to do everything alone. Being a recluse will do that to you.

But Tori gets back to the boat and finds Dana there performing an illegal search.

And JT goes to see his new shiny lab – and finds it below ground, not shiny and looking rather a lot like a dungeon (what a coincidence!) – complete with a guy in a cage telling him to run. His very very big chauffeur makes that not an option and evil doctor sedates him. He awakes, his leg chained up – and the guy in the cage tells him he’s been there for 6 years.

JT is there to replicate the Beast serum. The evil doctor Barnes expositions everything we should have guessed – JT has been tricked, he hasn’t won the grant, it was all a ploy to get his research – honestly we know, we don’t need to be told this. He’s also interested in whether JT knows a Beast…

Anyway to motivate JT into doing the work, he threatens to shoot the guy in the cage.

Vincent comes home to find Tori has tied Dana up – which they then argue about (you don’t tie her up. You sue her and get her fired) which includes Beast flares.

Gabe and Cat are examining maps and quickly run down relationship drama lane until Tess barges in to interrupt the will-they-be-a-couple-already to tell them JT’s been kidnapped. They hurry to Vincent’s who has just untied Dana and filled her in on the whole Beast-secret with equal resolve to stop the current bad guys since they want the beast-weakening gem and they killed Dana’s husband.

Apparently JT’s kidnappers sent a mass email from JT’s account that, to those in the know, effectively delivers a ransom demand: they want Vincent. Hey you could email them back “hey, no Vincent, would Tori do?”

Vincent has a temper tantrum about how it’s all his fault and he wants to charge in without backup because… yeah. And Tori calls, kind of apologetic and after a bit of waffling he tells her JT has been kidnapped – but doesn’t let her help. Cat makes a rapid plan that basically comes to Vincent tracking by scent and saving JT and Cat & co finding the lab another way and saving Vincent

As Vincent sets off we cut to the lab where the babbling prisoner (who does have scientific knowledge) warns JT that Dr. Barnes will notice if he fakes something – and he wants the serum to combine it with Vincent’s blood to make Beast 2.0 I guess. And Tori arrives to rescue him – on her own. She breaks his chain – and gets tranqed

This is actually an awesome plan because they’re going to be super surprised when Vincent shows up. Especially since they fit her with the beast-weakening gem – do they have a second one of those?

Dr. Barnes draws blood from her while talking about her father who he apparently knew was a Beast.

The team hurry on while JT is caught over what to do as he makes the serum – and the door is battered down. Surprise! BEAST TWO! Vincent knocks out the guard and frees JT and the prisoner. He tells them to leave and tell Cat (they run out right into Cat and Gabe’s car). Vincent goes to rescue Tori. But when he finds her she’s in pain – it’s apparently “too late” so whatever they injected her with was probably more than a sedative (and maybe not great to have in the blood she’s donated).

Vincent cries about how he should have protected her better while Tori says how much he should be with Cat (oh gods do not make me vomit on your death scene) and Barnes slams the door closed on the cell – which is apparently Beast proof. He draws his gun to shoot Vincent – and Cat shoots him in the back

They hurry Tori to hospital while Vincent mopes in the cell, seeing where past Beasts had clawed the walls. Cat acknowledges that Tori did help – without her Vincent would have been the one drugged and captured. Lots of angst over Tori’s death and Vincent blaming himself; and how he shuts people out because he doesn’t want to hurt people. And yes Barnes is gone but there’ll always be someone else hunting him, blah blah stay away, blah, danger, blah angsty look, blah you can’t be with me, blah you’ve heard all this so many times before that it’s barely even a trope any more so much as a universal law.

Anyway, Cat and Gabe agree to a relationship at last. At the police station Tess and Dana make friends over keeping secrets they understand keeping but they also get a file about Barnes - the dead man isn't Barnes, he's a conman - a front man. Dana goes to question the guy from the cell - and it's Sam, her long-lost-not-dead-husband! (Got to love Tess "Sam your husband Sam?" No, Tess, Sam the milkman...)

JT arrives at Vincent's boat with scotch for saving his life (since saving his life in return is unlikely). Vincent is still angsting about being the reason JT was in danger. They both argue over whose fault it was (JT adds that his expertise was ALSO in demand, thank you very much). And JT finally reveals the bombshell - he was the one who volunteered Vincent for beastdom (in the hopes of keeping him safe in Afghanistan). Vincent agrees, JT wins - it was his fault. They pass over that awkwardly then angst a bit more about Tori and JT adds that Vincent is still doing good - he has coped with his Beastiness.

Can we revisit Cat’s “you killed people!?” horror over Vincent? Because she just shot someone in the back without even shouting a warning, telling him to drop his gun or anything – she executed him.

Hey Gabe, they just killed off Tori. If you value your life you’ll make that move and leave the show before they kill you off for being a competing love interest

And can this show stop LAMPSHADING everything. Seriously, how stupid do they think their audience is?

Am I being blasé about Vincent’s “everyone around me is in danger, woe!”? Maybe but Beauty and the Beasty has already done it about 6 times and it never lasts more than 2 episodes. And it’s not just Beauty and the Beast – it’s a genre staple: the man has a tortured past/present/dangerous powers/curse/bad enemies/evil twin/angry pet marmot/whatever and so has to drive everyone away for their own good, especially the love interest, so they can all practice their synchronised woe looks.