That sound you heard was the tortured Lost Girl cannon finally screaming and
giving up any attempt at coherence.
Anyway through a random dead Black person, the gang
learns that Zeus hasn’t actually been banished (y’know, there were a literal
10,000 ways they could possibly have revealed this without a random Black lady
dying but of course it had to). Everyone has a bit of a panic especially since
she’s gone to see Hephaestus for a shiny new weapon.
This, naturally, worries everyone so they need to go see
Hephaestus themselves (conveniently Zeus-depossesses Elizabeth so she can be
both annoying and give everyone lost and lots of guidance on how to do this).
This involves some kind of weird test that means Bo has
to play lawyer in the weirdest court room ever. This convoluted test basically
is meant to be a big life lesson about how you need to support the people you
love rather than “protect” them by making decisions for them. It’s so clumsy as
to make Bella Swan look like an elegant ballerina.
This does get Bo to see Hephaestus and Zeus drops in –
now possessing Lauren to basically say that Hades is super terrible awful and
not to be trusted (in case we never realised this) and that the fae-conduit
thing in Lauren is totally not good for her health (she’s also been forgetting
things throughout the episode to prove the point). Hera makes a brief
appearance to possibly kill Bo but then she and Zeus decide not to and instead
to return to eternal banishment in Myth. But not before having Hephaestus make
Bo a horseshoe and embracing Bo as her niece. Because that’s useful. I suppose
we all have that one relative who buys weird presents we end up putting in the
loft and dragging out once a year so we don’t offend them.
I honestly can’t even begin to grasp what Zeus is up to
at this point. Even Tamsin’s motivations have been more stable. She wanted to
take over the world, then not. Unleash Nyx, then kill Bo now save Bo and who
even knows any more? And now she’s decided to banish herself and Hera? Why?
What sense does this make? Hera’s even saying “hey we hated it in there!” but
Zeus just says “trust me” because she can’t possibly explain her complete lack
of anything resembling motive. Or sense.
So Bo has her shiny horseshoe which, I’m sure, will be so
very important at some point.
Time to hit some relationship drama – but don’t worry,
they also have the same utter lack of anything resembling common sense as well.
See Dyson and Alicia are getting closer and closer to the
inevitable romance. But this is a problem – as we learned in the past,
werewolves mate for life and have One True Love. Which is Bo. Dyson must now
spend the rest of his life pining and being mopey so he can’t possibly be in
love with Alicia
He tells this to Trick who, basically says, “screw that,
go get you some wolfy” (I’m paraphrasing here) and Dyson decides this huge
cultural/species thing is silly and goes back to Alicia for burned food,
kissing and sex. Yes, centuries of cultural conditioning and all it takes is 2
lines from a bartender and you’re good
Except, of course, Hera has now been banished which means
Kevin (Alicia’s husband) is now alive and not possessed any more which is
officially Awkward. Clearly the fae gods have decided that Dyson WILL be mopey
and angsty come what may – and Alicia goes to her husband
Extra points for Dyson being kind of an arsehole, giving
Alicia the news that her hubby is alive with the same tone and demeanour of a
man announcing he just ran over her cat. Classy, Dyson, real Classy
On to Bo and Lauren. Bo was always worried that Lauren
would lose her humanity or herself (or whatever that means) while Lauren was
always worried about getting all old while Bo is forever young. Now she’s human
again Lauren is super angsty about this which is understandable – and then they
make a weird leap
Lauren is a healer, healing people is what she does. Bo
is a protector. Protecting people is what she does. So they have to break up.
Ok – somehow we went from A to X without any explanation
of how we got through the other letters. Does them being in love make them not
healers or protectors? Does Lauren’s inevitable aging make them not healers or
protectors? Is there a reason why they can’t be in love AND do the things they’ve
always done? Can we elaborate a little on this sudden leap? No?
I mean, kudos for the really well acted tragedy of the
break up – but the break up makes NO DAMN SENSE
Bo decides to follow this up by crying in her daddy’s
arms. Because NO DAMN SENSE. Then she has sex with Tamsin
Now, I would put this down to NO DAMN SENSE but we get
evil sound effects which makes me think Bo is being possessed/mind
controlled/manipulated here. Especially since she already has a scene where she
realised discussing relationship things in front of Tamsin was insensitive
since Tamsin has the whole unrequited love thing going for her.
