Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Once Upon a Time, Season 5, Episode 14: Devil's Due

Oh Hades is an awesome villain, yes yes he is. Such an excellent balance between fun and dark menace. And he even gets one up on Rumple.

The gang continues to rescue Hook, especially since he’s now been moved to an ultra dark prison with water that turns you into a lost soul (complete with an epic evil speech about Hook & co bringing hope into the realm).

Rumple, after doing a little ritual to spy on Belle has decided it’s time to speed up this whole rescue thing – especially since the plan the others have is rather lacking. Instead he plans on him and Emma to go to Hook’s prison with the heal of a dead person to provide some nice aura-cover to get past Hades’s wards

Now where do they get a nice dead person? That would be Malia, Rumple’s ex-wife, Hook’s ex-love and Baelfire/Neal’s mother. She still hates Rumple but would rather like to rescue Killian. As for Malia and Emma… well Hook’s introduction informing Malia that Emma hooked up with Neal and promptly had a teenaged pregnancy in prison didn’t warm things. Malia realising Emma has been with her son AND he ex-lover didn’t make things easier, but they eventually find a level of mutual respect

It’s one of those moments where you know you shouldn’t laugh – because shaming Emma for being a teenaged mother and judging her for her lovers is completely and unacceptably wrong. Yet the whole awfulness of Rumple’s introduction and Emma’s face was terrible and funny – thankfully Malia didn’t run with the judgy intro. And she hates Rumple far more anyway.

Unfortunately, while Emma is heroically saving Killian, Rumple makes his own deal with Hades… oh for a while I hoped he wouldn’t. I hoped he wouldn’t agree to destroy the boat (a way for them all to leave Tartarus) so he can get a ticket back to see Belle. I hoped… but no, this is Rumple. Selfish, cowardly Rumple who always takes the easiest path, always looks for the short cut and generally thinks he’s a lot smarter than everyone else (to be fair, he usually is). So of course he takes the deal – and pushes Malia into the evil death water as well. All without Emma an Killian realising because Hook is just conniving.

Except, for a twist, it looks like Hades won this round. See, we have a flashback with Malia and Rumple back before he was the Dark One. In addition to seeing how she first met Killian and her general seething loathing for the cowardly, unhelpful Rumple (playing with kids rather than doing any actual work). In the flashback, baby Bael was poisoned by a snake bite and the cure was very expensive. Malia is all for murdering the healer and stealing but Rumple, being moral (and a coward) can’t do that – instead he makes a deal

To trade their second born child for the cure. They don’t have a second born child, but Malia is very much not amused at him making this deal without even consulting her. Murder would have been better.

Which is why, later on, Rumplestiltskin the Dark One decides to address this little deal by brutally murdering the healer. Deal voided! (with a lecture/applause about taking advantage of rumple when he was desperate)

Or not, turns out the deal passes on to the afterlife – and this disgruntled healer has passed Rumple’s “IOU 1 baby” to Hades. And Rumple is so eager to return to Belle right now because she’s pregnant… Rumple now has to obey Hades or lose his baby… this is going to be awkward

Time for a much more awesome storyline – Regina, with help from Snow White and the new mayor of the town – Cruella (wearing a Bambi’s mother fur)  – checks out the graveyard to see what happened to Daniel, her first love. The graves there show whether the person is in Tartarus, has moved on – or is in a darker place. And to Regina’s massive emotional relief,

Regina also has her magic back (since magic is shaky in Tartarus) after she heals a horse. Which means she now can try their exist strategy: link the newly rescued Killian’s heart with Emma’s heart (in the same way Snow White and the soppy Charming have been linked) and then they can all leave… except not.

Last week hades tried to make Killian carve the names of people who have to stay in Tartarus in exchange for the people the gang has saved. Killian refused (morally, though a one handed man using a chisel is somewhat challenging) so Hades has chosen his own three: Regina, Emma and Snow White

Damn it Hades, David is RIGHT THERE. But proof that even Hades doesn’t want to be inflicted with his presence