Monday, February 20, 2017

Sleepy Hollow: Season 4, Episode 7: Loco Parentis

Last episode Malcolm seemed to achieve immortality demon defeated and all sorts of things – so now it’s time of a monster of the week, but with some decent bonding along the way and some exploration of Diana and Molly

It’s Molly’s 11th birthday coming up which comes with Ichabod learning about modern childhood toys and Diana becoming increasingly concerned about the whole witness things since Milly is still a child. She’d rather be Witness by proxy and preferably tell Molly as little as possible despite Ichabod saying it’s probably not going to work that way

Into this comes Mitch, Molly’s father, Diana’s ex. And this could get messy. This could end up with Ichabod being irrationally jealous or lots and lots of jokes about Ichabod and Diana being a couple or Diana looking at her ex and seeing he’s still interested but realising she’s interested in Ichabod more…. And thankfully none of that happened. Not once. I think the eternally clueless writers of Sleepy Hollow realised that this soon after Abbie absolutely no-one, not one damn person, was here to see Ichabod head down the quasi romantic path with someone else. No-one (and if anyone does? You’re a bad person who should feel bad.)

It was surprisingly mature in a genre which generally doesn’t handle relationships in anything resembling a sensible or reasonable manner (and by “genre” I mean “media in general. At all. Ever.”) it works well. Ichabod encourages Diana to pursue her relationship if she wants to, realising what she actually wants. She explores her issues with Mitch, why the split up and why the whole Witness thing makes it a much more difficult time to reintroduce a 2 year missing father into the mix may be

While Mitch turns out to be reasonable, kind, patient, definitely wanting to reconnect with both but respecting Diana and her boundaries.

And he’s a werewolf.

Or a Barghest – except Barghest is actually a northern English monster and doesn’t especially resemble this – it’s a werewolf.

Said werewolf has been killing people and, like so many monsters, it turns out to be from ye olde colonial days which Ichabod has just remembered. And like every monster from ye olde colonial days, the people then decided to lock it in some American Artefact (the Liberty bell is actually Dracula’s tomb. The Washington Monument has Anubis impaled in the bottom). Despite the fact this creature literally needs killing with sharp rock.

Anyway, said Barghest rips out hearts but first shifts into a human being that person trust so they can get close to them which is apparently super important and you can’t just jump on people and eat their hearts. Nope, trust is needed

And lo, Mitch arrived out of the blue – yes the Barghest. The show is silent about how this Barghest from colonial America knows about Hover Boards, Dana’s coffee preferences or even how the moern world works. But apparently he does. Colonial Barghests always know about the dash of vanilla you like in your coffee. They were all empowered with supernatural barista abilities but, alas, are European monsters that existed before Europeans discovered coffee (the darkest stage in history) so instead they became cursed dog creatures.

To find this barghest barista they turn to Jenny

Jenny has returned to Sleepy Hollow to check on sexy naked demon Jobe who she now imprisons. Alas she gives him some covering but she does ask the question I’ve been asking repeatedly – why the hell is Jobe helping Malcolm break his contract? She doesn’t get an answer, but she does get a clue that Malcolm is still alive.

He keeps trying to make deals with Jenny to be freed while she’s very “you think this is my first rodeo?!”. But when Barghest Barista kidnaps Molly she agrees to let Jobe go so long as he shows them where Molly is.

He keeps his word and Diana and Ichabod arrive to give him a good stone stabbing. Barghest defeated

In the aftermath they help comfort Molly about what just happened. Especially since she blames herself – she did a lot of research about the Witnesses and her drawing symbols may have attracted the monster. Diana takes responsibility for this due to making Diana do her own research rather than talking to her about it

Of course Ichabod is also there for some gentle reassurance that he will always be there in case some more oddly coffee-educated beasties escapes from George Washington’s perfectly preserved underwear drawer.

Oh, and Malcolm’s back – wearing rags and babbling inanely he promptly fires his entire board of directors

So next week I’m assuming the shareholders have him removed based on his obvious diminished capacity. Because large companies with shareholders don’t get to change the entire board on the whims of someone apparently in the middle of a psychotic break. No, not even Apple.