Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Shadowhunters, Season 2, Episode 9: Bound by Blood

Last episode it turned out Valentine had another reason to want to hunt down Clary beyond her terrible acting and now the cast has to keep her safe so we have to continue to endure her.

This is Jace’s excuse to stop her making out with Simon and getting more acquainted with his rippled torso. Jace seems to have a side job of chief cock-blocker. He’s the only one in this series who’s allowed to get it on.

Jace wants to keep Clary in the Institute so Valentine knows exactly where to find her, especially since he’s already proven he can get into the Institute with demons whenever he wants.  Because this is Shadowhunters and everyone makes terrible decisions and has the IQ of algae

Speaking of, Clary’s hand starts turning black because of that pesky blood oath she made with Iris when displaying her algae intelligence. She has been told to go find Madzie the child warlock. Since she hasn’t done this she’s going to die horribly

This is confirmed by Magnus. Of course they go to Magnus, when do they not go to Magnus when anything is happening? He was trying to discuss with Alec his apparent issues which lead him vulnerable to jumping off buildings but as ever Alec’s well being and their relationship has to go on hold because Clary’s on the doorstep again.

Magnus, just leave New York, just leaaaave them, it’s not worth it. Leave them all behind, just take Alec and Simon’s torso with you.

So it being confirmed that there’s no loopholes from Clary’s terrible decision making (and can we take a moment to realise it took an actual death curse for the gang to be concerned about an unaccompanied child), it’s time to go hunt for warlock kiddies.

Only Jace doesn’t want Simon to help because he hates him for making out with his sister – not in an Alpha Arsehole Big Brother way but more in an incesty jealous arsehole-wants-to-sleep-with-his-sister way. Because ew (and yes I’ve read the books so know the twist – still, ew).

Time to check in at the Institute where super creepy Victor is impressed and/or disappointed that Izzy is doing so well with her Yin Fen withdrawal! And here he was hoping to find her desperate and hurting when he asked her out – since she isn’t she tells him no. He tries again and almost makes it an order…. And someone really needs to murder this guy.

Also, isn’t Izzie like 17? Victor needs murdering.

Alec also thinks something is up with Izzy’s weird behaviour and decides to accuse Victor with no proof or support or knowledge of what’s going on or, well, anything. It doesn’t go well. Shadowhunters, where no-one can make good decisions

Izzy herself keeps spending time with Raphael, largely for his addictive bite but there’s some chemistry there as he tells her about his little sister who is now in a nursing home (again, isn’t she like 17? He’s just confirmed he’s nearly 100. Stop stop stop this uckiness). Definite romance on the way along with the biting

Back, alas, to Clary and Maia tries to kill her! Go Maia, go Maia, go Maia. Alas she is stopped and everyone wants to know why she would do such a thing (you want a list?). Maia has heard that Valentine has the kill-all-downworlders sword and that he just needs Clary’s special specialness to do it. She, rightly, thinks killing Clary to save her entire species is a good idea.

Luke disagrees because, as she points out, he has always cared way more for Clary than ever he has for the pack he is supposed to lead. She’s completely right about this but he says she’s wrong and to prove it tortures her by locking the claustrophobic Maia in a very small room. Maia’s point is made.

Luke arranges a meeting with the other Downworlder organisations – Magnus for the warlocks and Raphael for the vampires and Meliorn for the Seelies (who has already been brutalised for serving Clary like everyone else keeps doing) and finds to his dismay that both Meliorn and, to an extent, Raphael, agree with Maia. Better to kill Clary rather than risk genocide of their entire species. As Meliorn points out, Magnus and Luke are compromised and are too slavishly devoted to the Shadowhunters rather than their own people

Meliorn is not wrong

Of course Luke warns Clary, his loyalty has long since been clear.

Meanwhile, Jace, Clary and Simon track down Madzie. Jace notes that this is super easy and it’s probably a trap. Clary agrees and decides to walk into it anyway. Because Shadowhunter decision making of course. Clary also decides that she can’t be taken live by Valentine (I agree) so tries to get everyone to promise to kill her if necessary. They do. Alas they’re lying but it gives Jace chance to run off on his own to find Madzie and Valentine.

Valentine has been playing daddy to Madzie because he wants a nice loyal warlock of his own unlike Dot who he has been injected in weird stuff which is clearly doing her no good at all.

When Jace explains that his nuclear daughter is going to die if he doesn’t give up the warlock kid, Valetine hands her over – and Clary is saved. Yay. I am thrilled.

And the trap is sprung –because Madzie is now totally loyal to Valentine and uses her magic to kidnap Clary. Well damn Valentine has his nuke. Maia was right (she’s also turned into a wolf and left a trail of blood behind her so I assume there’s some badness happened).

At the same time Valentine has dispatched a small legion of Downworlders he’s been experimenting on to make them attack mundane humans. For funsies apparently and to give everyone downworlders they can attack and question – so, hey, that’s useful and helpful of him.

Simon and Jace do just that and manage to free Clary – but in the process Valentine kidnaps Simon.
I’m not sure why Valentine wants Simon or even cares remotely about him or how losing Clary isn’t a major defeat. Really it’s a trainwreck for everyone – so Shadowhunters!

Next trainwreck – Izzy and Raphael are all cozy and blood drinking when Alec and Magnus decide to intervene and stage an intervention. Alec blames Magnus (what, why, howww?! Are we this invested in putting road blocks in their relationship?!) and drags Izzy out of there – but she insists he never noticed anything was wrong (yes he did – but he went to Victor instead because Shadowhunter decision making) and storms off insisting she loves her dealer

While Raphael basically says the same to Magnus, comparing his and Izzy’s relationship to Magnus and Alec. Magnus says ok maybe – see if he believes that when he isn’t high on Shadowhunter bloods. Magnus is the voice of reason. He’s not discounting that they may have something (I am on the age gap front) but they both need to be off their co-dependent addictions which is a super super super unhealthy relationship.

While Alec goes to Victor and reveals that he knows Victor got his sister hooked on demon drugs which he is not cool with. Now Victor needs to a) leave his family alone and b) do what Alec says or he’ll tell everyone. Of course he has no proof but apparently Shadowhunters are super gossipy and his reputation will be ruined

I would say it’s not advisable for Alec, a teen/young adult to run the Institute but he can hardly do a worse job. Because everyone on this show makes the WORST decisions