Saturday, September 9, 2017

Zoo, Season 3, Episode 11: Cradles and Graves

I’m sure everyone will be shocked to learn that despite everything being thoroughly murdered last episode, no-one is actually dead.

Clem wakes up from her tank, releases Sam and finds everyone near death. She promptly starts waterboarding them all with tank fluid. This is apparently good for you and cures death by stabbing. Abe has been extra stabbed so Max and Mitch have to resort to a scorpion and a credit card. Accepted medical practice

So the main issue is they’re all stuck in their plane which is now surrounded by poison hybrid spores which make people explode. The plane is only temporarily air tight and because of various shenanigans, rescue isn’t coming. Everyone’s going to die - except not really because we know they’re not

Also the beacons are going off and causing the end of the world in like 30 hours. They decide to cut the power on the one on Tokyo and now the city is “no longer there”. So that plan fails

Excuse me? Abigail has the power to create a bomb that can wipe out a city of 2,000 square kilometers and millions upon millions of people yet she’s playing with hybrids? Can someone please try and explain this? Or do I just shrug, say “Zoo” and move on? Again?

To top this off everyone on the plane has Issues. Mitch and Jackson are super pissed with Jaime for the whole Duncan thing (Jackson locks her up - but mainly because she tried to kill Abigail who he has decided to save and OH MY GODS THIS IS EXACTLY WHY SHE DID THIS?! WHYYYYY?!). Max is running around trying to get everyone to play nice. Also Clem learns Sam is playing for Team Abigail but they all decide to put a pin in that one

Also, Clem’s pregnancy has been fast forwarded due to hybrid mojo so she’s about to give birth which also allows Max to play all family caring patriarch despite Mitch so not having time for this nonsense.

Mitch is also done with Jaime which means lots of emotional despair about how everything is terrible and I honestly didn’t see this level of pathos from him. Kudos. Jackson does call Tessa for his own moping and I did see this from him because moping is kind of a default for Jackson so I’m kind of bored by that. But Tessa turns out to be secretly working for the IADG… apparently. Anyway she decides to spring into action to INSPIRE Jackson (oh, really? This is her role? Really?) and he cracks the big date code they’ve all been struggling over for a while which will foil all of Abigail’s naughtiness (I’m not even following how it’s going to do this - because Zoo it doesn’t even matter. Plot lines do not make sense here) - he just needs a super computer to do it. So they need to get back to base.

The gang does find a solution for sealing the plane against the spores just as someone else saves the day with more anti-sporeness allowing them to fly to HQ. Doing so kills off Max which I think everyone’s supposed to be super sad about but I’m not because a) he wasn’t much of a character b) everyone kind of hated him anyway and c) you’re trying too hard Zoo. Really, a man dying with a newborn in his arms? Why not throw in a loyal pining dog or something as well?

Oh yeah, the baby is born as well. We throw in some pregnancy complications because it’s Zoo and everything has to be under terrible threat which all gets resolved anyway which just fails at establishing any tension at all. You can’t call drama all the time and expect us to buy it

Mitch and Jaime reconcile, of course, because it’s Zoo and all season we’ve had this “hey Jaime is a terrible person!” like once every 3 episodes and everyone then forgets allll about it for the next time