Tuesday, May 1, 2018

The Originals, Season 5, Episode 2: One Wrong Turn on Bourbon

It’s time to have some family issues because this is the Originals and they have more family issues than mine does after the 4th sherry at a funeral.

And that’s usually when things get messy and everyone digs out their receipts.

We start with a younger Hope using her astral projecting power to spy on her dad. Unfortunately he’s ripping someone’s heart out at the time. It could have been worse hope, he could have been having sex.

This does not establish a great parental relationship

In the present Klaus has made one of his So Very Good Decisions to return to New Orleans to find Hayley. Cue snakes, blood, dead flowers etc. Because LISTEN TO THE OMINOUS PORTENTS DAMN IT. Somewhere there’s a Greek goddess yelling “how many more hints do you need?!”

Hope is happy that daddy is here but he uses vampire speed to avoid her and leave her all angsty

Marcel is also back in town ready to receive the adulation of everyone as king of the city. Which is nice and all but there’s a lot resentment still about the dead Poppy. There’s a demand for justice, especially when Klaus asks Marcel to look for Hayley as well: so he goes to the Crescents to arrest Henry and question him about Hayley. It quickly becomes apparent that he is involved somehow and he’s also badly struggling from blood lust. Without Hayley to help him control it, Marcel convinces Lisia to hand him over for punishment. No they’re not going to kill him because he’s 15, but he will brick him up in his torture basement for a little while, let him dry out and then embrace him among the vampires with open arms

It’s not exactly fun but Lisia accepts it as pretty much the only option to control her hybrid step-son without Hayley around

But questioning Henry makes it clear he’s covering for someone - and the only one he would is his sire. Hope.

More drama - Josh has been running the vampires for seven years and isn’t entirely thrilled Marcel is back saying everything is all peaceful and happy. They’ve already lost one vampire and the core of the problem isn’t Henry - it’s Hope Mikkaelson who can create Hybrids and is apparently not great at decision making. Also I think Marcus’s threats are not especially welcome in communities that have spent the last 7 years in relatively co-operation and harmony

Another person with concerns is Vincent. At Freja’s urging he goes to see the seer Ivy for flirting and insight and despite Ivy having misgivings (she doesn’t believe in fate being set so I think is leery of self-fulfilling prophecies). The cards first come up all nice and shiny - and then get really really really zomg REALLY bad. And while Vincent thinks the problem is Klaus but nope, it’s Hope.

In the desperate bleak bitter sweetness Keelin comes back to town and she and Freya are so lovely and sweet and planning their future and planning to escape the city and if you forget the whole kidnap and experiment thing it could be so sweet and wonderful. Yes we know it’s going to end badly.

Klaus does end up in the same room as Hope when he goes to question Hayley’s handsome new boyfriend with the really nice eyes and the really awful accent (record his accent. Play it for your Irish friends. Trust me, it’s fun!). He knows nothing but nicely points out that he’s much more of a dad to Hope than Klaus is. Hope arrives with her woo-woo to stop Klaus doing some brutal murdering and it’s all super awkward as Klaus is trying to avoid everything and flee the city asap before all the big dark omens happen.

We also have a visit from Roman, sexy vampire boy from Hope’s school who drops in to be all popular sexy kid and be all sad about Henry and how he’s all kind of guilty about how he let his friends bully him. Oh and he’s creepy because he’s totally stalking her for her address. And then sort of regretting it because Hope’s house is really really really creepy. And then Hope tells him the big secret - she is the daughter of Klaus Mikkaelson! Yay! (oh and BTdubs he’s back so you may want to hide because he’ll wear your spine as a necklace. Literally). And you thought introducing your boyfriend to your dad was bad.

Having heard from Marcel Klaus would quite like to know what Hope has done with Hayley. Apparently she has cast a sleep spell on her and locked her in a coffin so she can then emotionally manipulate Klaus into returning

Klaus is not amused. She points out that locking relatives in coffins is kind of a family trait. Touche. Klaus does have a very good dad look though.

She’s upset by the distance between them while he’s wrapped himself in daddy issues and self hate and is totally sad that he was mass murdering people when Hope decided to astrally project into his kill zone. He’s decided all fathers are terrible and has totally broken his daughter with his awfulness

Which kind of works with his other relatives. I mean, Klaus is the baby brother and him being the oh-so-tortured one has worked with Elijah and Rebekkah for centuries. But this is his daughter, she’s not here for his desperate self-pity and just hears that her dad thinks she’s broken.

Klaus, you’re a thousand years old. Time to grow the fuck up.

Keelin and Freya hears this fight and Freja thinks it’s normal because this kind of magical acting out is what she does as a teenager and honestly i can see ALL of the Mikkaelson being nightmarish self-absorbed emotionally rampant teens because they STILL ARE. Seriously I think that’s the uniting thread of why the Originals annoy me so much - these ancient beings have never matured past being over-emotional 15 year olds.

But this gives Keelin inspiration for the future she and Freja can have together while I think it’s a warning.

Hope visits Henry to mind control him to be a good little prisoner when he’s bricked up. While there she hugs Marcel and excellently sums up her issues and the huge pressure she puts on herself: Her whole family has epicly sacrificed for her and she now feels she has to be utterly perfect to be worthy of that sacrifice. And is doubly hurt by the thought that Klaus doesn’t love her. Marcel is there for much comfort and reassurance because he’s a much better person

Now for the darkness: Klaus goes to get Hayley only find the coffin she was locked in ripped apart with blood everywhere which is BAAD.

Klaus tells Hope who desperately freaks out but he tries to reassure her that it’s his fault not hers (it’s totally hers). And he bundles her off to school, especially when she starts choking up a snake. This is a bad sign.

Freya dumps Keelin, telling her she has to leave because the city is stifling Keelin and she can’t put her life on hold any more. While Freya can’t leave the city. Ultimately choosing between Keelin and her family, she chooses family

I’m both annoyed at this relationship breaking down while also think Keelin needs to head to the hills

And some nefarious force digs up Henry and murders him. So that’s a bad sign. I doubt Hope will go back to school now.